LSD TRIP 2nd Edition

Alternatively: Is Manic Depression the cause?

By David Clarke


David’s brain

Abshott Publications

In my first edition of this book, I entitled the story with the “The Bucks Herald” newspaper headlines, of 11th February 1971.

First published in Great Britain

First Edition 11th February 2001

Second Edition September 18th 2011

Abshott Publications 11 Hayling Close Fareham

Hampshire PO14 3AE


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ISBN: 978-0-9539473-5-5

EBook ISBN: 978-0-9539473-6-2

Audio Book ISBN: 978-0-9539473-7-9

Foreword by Dr Philip Fleming MA.

BA, Bch. FRCPsych. DPM


"Converted on LSD Trip"

This book, the personal testament of David Clarke, in in an autobiographical style. It charts his life, which became one of criminality and drug taking though an experience in 1970 of finding God whilst under the influence of LSD. Cynics may say that this was just an effect of drugs, but it is clear that the experience changed his life. Later when in court facing charges he admitted to many other crimes and was fortunate in receiving three years conditional discharge and not a prison sentence.

Since then David has combined his work as a lecturer in electronics with his mission of spreading the word of God. This is a scrupulously honest book recording both the difficulties he has faced as well as the successes in his life since 1970. A continuing worry is the fat of his brother, currently serving a long prison sentence in a Philippine jail who himself has recently found God.

“This is an inspiring story of a life that has been turned from crime to a positive account and may be of help to others who find them selves directionless and involved in crime and drug misuse”.


Dr. Philip M. Fleming. MA. BA, Bch. FRCPsych. DPM.

Consultant Psychiatrist with special responsibility for drugs and alcohol services. Kingsway House is the base for these services in Portsmouth. May 2001

About the Author

David Clarke was a lecturer at Fareham College, in Hampshire, England, when he first published his first edition of this book, on the 11th of February 2001. It was there that he taught Electronic Servicing, from September 1989 through to August 2001.

He was educated and trained as a lecturer, at Wolverhampton Polytechnic, and graduated with a Certificate in Education, which was awarded by Birmingham University, in 1978. He commenced teaching at Luton College of Higher Education that year, and has taught hundreds of students during his 21 years as a lecturer.

However his earlier life had been rather different, and since leaving Dover Borstal, which was a young persons prison, in 1968, had a 3-year career of undetected crime, until the night of the 16th of January, 1970, when he experienced a Christian

conversion, whilst suffering from the effects of LSD.

Both he and his older brother Michael, who too had taken LSD that night, were both convicted criminals, and had served time in prison, for charges of malicious wounding, and carrying a fire arm without a license.

On the night of the 16th, their life paths turned in different directions and the next fourteen years, David read and studied the scriptures, leading him to join the Bierton, Strict and Particular Baptist Church in 1976, and was ordained as a Strict Baptist minister in 1983. David married in 1977 and had four children, two of which were twins.

David’s work as a gospel preacher led him to help and share his faith with many people. He also found himself on the front page of the Bucks Herald News paper, in 1983, when he sought to reach his old friends in crime, through preaching.

It was after this that David’s troubles appeared to begin. He felt compelled to resign from the Bierton Church, after which he wrote his first book, “The Bierton Crisis”’, that explained his reason for secession.

His troubles did not end there, as circumstances led him to resign from his lecturing post, at Luton College and he was clinically diagnosed as suffering from manic depression in 1988.

Thankfully David was successful in applying for a lecturing post at Fareham College, and started teaching there that year. He lived in lodgings; away from his family at that time and was struggling with his bi-polar mood disorder. Unfortunately he turned away from God, in unbelief that finally led to his divorce in 1996.

David returned again to seek help from God in 1994, and since then has spoken to many of his friends of all what Jesus has done for him. David remarried and had a daughter who was born in 1997. However due to the problems he encountered in his second marriage and unsuccessful attempts to return to the ideals of a Christian marriage, they finally separated in 1998.

It was then David believed that it was time to complete his student’s education, and wrote his second book, “Converted on LSD Trip”. Since then he has spoken to

many of his friends of all what Jesus had done for him. He wished to make known to all his students and friends that his bad experience on LSD, was nothing compared to the experience of Hell.

Like Oscar Schindler, and his list, all that were on that list were saved, who otherwise would have perished at the hands of the Nazi’s. So too, this David had a list of over 250 students and friends, that he wanted to contact. He wished to persuade them to listen, and hear in full; of all what Jesus Christ had done for him and what he could do for others. David now wishes to reach a wider audience.

It was during this time that David had word from his brother Michael, who had been sentence to prison in the Philippines in 1996. This led David to go on a mission to the Far East in 2001 with a friend Gordon Smith, in order to bring relief and help to Michael.

On that mission to the Philippines, David shared the gospel with hundreds of convicted criminals, including many on Death Row. And as a result of this successful mission, David published his third book, “Trojan Warriors”, which contains 66 life giving testimonies, of some of the most notorious criminals, who had been converted from crime, to Christ. These were housed in Asia's largest prison in the Far East, which is New Bilibid Prison, Maximum Security Compound.

Sadly Michael died in the prison from tuberculosis in May 2005. And now David wishes to bring a message of hope to all his friends. David believed that at the first publication of his book he had a word of encouragement from the Lord about his testimony, which is this:

“And he was astonished, and all that were with him, at the draught of fishes which they had taken”: Luke 5 verse 9.




1'''THE'CONFESSION'TO'24'CRIMES'(1971)' 15!





6''''OUR'ROCK'GROUP' 47!




10''''GOING'TO'CHURCH' 77!

11''''GETTING'A'JOB' 83!




15''''I'GO'FISHING'FOR'MEN' 121!



18''''WE'MOVE'TO'LUTON' 151!














What the story is about

This is a true story of two brothers, Michael John Clarke (1946), and David Clarke (1949), who were born in Oldham, Lancashire, England.

The story portrays a remarkable change that took place, in the life of David when he was 20 years old, on the night of the 16th January 1970. His brother Michael was left untouched.

David was miraculously converted to faith in Christ, when Jesus actually spoke to him, during a bad LSD trip, after watching the film, "Easy Rider", starring Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, and Peter Fonda. Michael too had taken LSD that night and was unaffected, but David turned from a life of crime, drug taking and promiscuity overnight.

These brothers influenced each other during, the 50’s & 60’s, and resulted in both David and Michael serving time in prison. David was sent to Dover Borstal, and Michael Maidstone Prison, for charges of malicious wounding, and carrying a firearm without a licence.

The story speaks in detail, of all the significant events in David’s life, from being a child through to the time of his conversion to Christ, and then recounts the consequent difficulties, which he experienced, as he tried to follow the way of Christ. This led David to make a confession to the Police about his 24 crimes and the recovery of much stolen property. The story appeared as news headlines in the Bucks Herald on 11th February 1971 and led to a remarkable conditional discharge.

David later trained to be a lecturer at Wolverhampton Polytechnic, and taught electronics for 22 years at Luton College of Higher Education, in Bedfordshire and Fareham College, in Hampshire. David was also ordained a Strict Baptist minister and preached in many churches through England in 1983. He also found himself on the front page of the Bucks Herald News paper, in 1983 when he sought to reach his old friends in crime through preaching.

David, narrates the series of high, and low mood swings, that he has experienced, since January, 1970 and includes one event in particular that led him to resign from his lecturing post at, Luton College of Higher Education in 1988. This was in order to avoid an unfair dismissal, due to disputes at his work. He was at this time clinically diagnosed as suffering from Manic Depression.

Michael eventually married and had a daughter and had a brief flamboyant life-style in business. He became the company Managing Director of "Tudor Charm", a manufacturing company, in Milton Keynes and enjoyed the success of business for a season. This eventually came to an end by his company going into liquidation, and him into deep depression, leading to his broken marriage and divorce. Michael sought to restart in business, after his divorce, and moved to Thailand, starting his company called “Paradise Movies”, which led to his further trouble, and reports of various scams, that were published in the News of the World in 1992.

Finally he took the ideas that he had learned in Patiya, Bangkok, to the Philippines, and commenced his Travel Agency, called, “Paradise Express”’ selling holidays whose main attractions were, “Adult Pleasures for men only”. This hit international news, and led to a criminal conviction. He was condemned to serve a 16-year prison sentence, in New Bilibid Prison, in 1996. Michael always maintained his innocence. When this story was first written Michael was a broken man, in body and in health. He had no hope for the future,

David also speaks of those events, which led him to doubt his own experience of God and eventually turn in unbelief, to live for a brief period of time (2 to 3 years), as though God did not exist for him. This led him to divorce and remarriage. David also relates the harrowing experiences of his failing second marriage, and his attempts to return to the ideals of a Christian marriage. He now believes that the conflict and differences of opinion between him and his new wife prompted further hypo- manic episodes that are highlighted and recorded in this book.

It was during this time that Michael had contacted David and told him of his despair, and his friendship with Sunny Wilson who had been sentenced to death in the Philippines, in 1996. When the Supreme Court, acquitted Sunny, on 19th December 1999 he gave Michael a paperback book, which was C.S. Lewis’s, “Mere Christianity”. It was this book, which convinced Michael that Jesus was the Christ

and led to his baptism in the prison. David, believed God was able to save Michael and give him hope for the future, even though he had lived a life far from God in the past, and was now serving a near life-sentence, in an awful third world prison.

The story is real, remarkable, and demonstrates the goodness s, and mercy of God, in saving one through Jesus Christ, and the severity of God in leaving another to himself. But now it is as though Michael too had been plucked, like a brand from the burning fire.

David now believes that both he, and Michael are victims of Manic Depression, and have both suffered from hypo-manic episodes. However their belief systems conditioned the way that they reacted to their mood swings, and may well account for some of their remarkable experiences that are recorded in this book.

This story could be of real help to Judges, Magistrates, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurses, Doctors, social workers, solicitors, policemen, ministers of religion, Lecturers, teachers and probation Officers. Also it could be helpful to Christians and those who suffer from manic depression or Dyslexia. It could also be a means of help to reform criminals, and useful to those living in the margins of society, along with unruly youths, drug users, and hardened criminals. It could also be a help to any one contemplating, or going through divorce.

This second edition, also serves as an introduction to David's third book, “Before the Cock Crows”, in which he relates the mission objectives of his second trip to the Philippines, in 2002. It speaks of the success, and the sinister opposition, that Michael and David met, from within and without the prison. This opposition came from misguided inmates, and certain Religious Volunteers, who propagated lies, and deceit, due to their religious prejudice’s, to hinder this mission that had been designed, to bring help and aid to so many reformed criminals in the Philippines. This

help being through a ministry, or mission, that David finally registered with the Security Exchange Commission (SEC), entitled Trojan Horse international (TULIP) Phil’s. Incorporated”, in 2003. Sadly Michael died, in New Bilibid Prison in May 2005, before their vision of Christian help to many inmates in New Bilibid prison was realised.





  1. The Confession to 24 crimes (1971)

    It was real, absolutely real, but none of my friends believed me. All I could do was tell them what had happened to me, and that was what I did. I told them all, the long, the short, and the tall. I told as many of them as I could. They thought I had gone mad after taking LSD.

    Jesus Christ had spoken to me, and rescued me from a bad LSD trip, on Friday evening of the 16th of January 1970. He had said that what I had been going through was nothing compared to what hell was like. I now knew the way and was determined to tell others. I had become a Christian and no longer needed to live the life style I had adopted, which had involved crime, drugs, promiscuity, flash cars and fame. I had been born again. I was now responsible for sorting out all my stolen gear.

    What could be done with a 48-ft by 24 ft. builder’s shed that I had stolen one night, from a building site, at Berkhampstead and stolen cars? I still had, in my possession a lovely “G” reg. mini that I had stolen from Hemel Hempstead, which was in the process of being “rung”. Ringing meant swapping the number plates from a stolen car with those of a legitimate, damaged or older car and using its registration documents as proof of its identity. My new mini was being rung and replacing my old car. This was to be my new car. I also had a Morris Minor Traveller that had been “rung” and was being used as a hire car.

    I also had stolen garage equipment, which included an air compressor, electric welding equipment, spray guns, and a trolley jack. I also had several pieces of electrical test equipment, which included oscilloscopes, AVO meters and Colour TV’s. I had stolen all the garage equipment I needed to repair and spray cars.

    One of my prize cars was a lovely Citroen DS, which was stored in the builder’s shed and was being repaired. I obtained this car through swapping it for a colour TV set, which in 1969 was very valuable. The only problem was that I had stolen the TV set from an old people’s home in Winslow, Buckinghamshire.

    This was not all of my stolen goods, as I also had two nice speedboat engines, getting ready for the summer, of 1970. All in all I had had a real good time full of excitement and fun and was looking forward to a future, full of excitement.

    The reality was, I had been stopped in the midst of my career, which involved stealing all kinds of goods, and having a good time all at other people’s expense. I had intended to have a caravan, speedboat, water skis, and aqua-lung diving gear, flash cars, motorbikes, and clothes and so on all through stealing. I was in fact stopped whilst in the midst of my career but not by the police. It was Jesus Christ who had called me by name, to follow him.

    My brother Michael and I, had both been convicted for crimes of malicious wounding, and possessing a fire arm without a license in the past, and at this point our life paths were about to take different roots.

    What to do with stolen goods?

    For one year I toyed with various ideas, as to what to do with all the stolen goods that I had acquired, and was at a loss how to resolve the problem. I thank God that He appeared again to my help a year later, when His hand was clearly seen once more to intervened in my life. I had no one else to help. As I write this I take encouragement from the faithfulness of God in never leaving me, or forsaking me. I realise now I was kept through the power, and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, to bare witness today to many people of His goodness, and mercy to me.

    Problem solve by a visit from the C.I.D.

    I was sitting at the table, in our kitchen at 37 Finmere Crescent, one evening in late 1971, when a knock came on the door. I had two visitors, a detective constable Robson and a younger man and was greeted quite politely but with sure and certain words “ You are charged with stealing a colour television “ and “would you accompany us down to the police station, to make a statement”. I knew instantly what I must do and say. I saw the hand of God and believed is was all his doing but I did not know the outcome. Leaving the outcome to God I asked the two men to sit down in the kitchen, and I admitted the charge. At this DC Robson seemed most relieved, for he said to me later, he had thought I would be very difficult and awkward and deny the charge.

    I explained I would certainly come with them to the police station, and make a statement, but I wanted to speak to them about other things first. I said that I had many crimes that I wished to tell them about, and wanted to tell them why I was informing them.

    I wished it to be known that they would not have been able to find out about my crimes unless I confessed them, and I wanted to testify to the saving work of Jesus Christ - that he had saved me from my former criminal way of life, a year previously, and that I did not wish to get off lightly with this confession, but rather bear testimony for Christ. For in no way could my crimes be discovered, unless I tell them, and owned up to them. I had a lot of property, which could be returned.

    I went with them to the police station, and spent the rest of the evening making written statements giving details of my crimes. I was detained that evening in the police cells, at Walton Street police station, in Aylesbury. Not that I was a stranger to prison cells. My shoelaces were removed but I was allowed my New Testament (Authorised Version, working mans pocket addition).

    I had to appear in Aylesbury Magistrates Court, on the 9th February 1971, and answered two charges of burglary and one of theft. I also asked for 21 other crimes of theft to be taken into consideration, all of which had been committed since I left Borstal, between September 1968, and 16th January 1970. I had decided I did not

    need legal representation, as I would speak for my self.

    With my past record of probation and Borstal training it was quite expected that I

    would be sent to prison. I was quite OK with this because I deserved it and I believed God was in this, and had a definite purpose in this event. I prepared for this by setting my affairs in order at home and gave directions that my Mini Traveller, which I had rebuilt, was to be given to Barry Crown, if I got sent down. I believed that whatever happened to me the outcome was of God, and there would be good reason for it. I thought I might be being sent to prison so as to preach the gospel to many inmates.

    A friend of mine, Mr Peter Murray, from Wendover was concerned about my court appearance, and suggested I get some written testimonials from some of my Christian friends, and he felt he ought to appear in person, and speak on my behalf. The friends who wrote were Barry Crown, Cyril Bryan, Tom Thompson and Eric Connet. I am including these letters, which were sent to the court. These people all testify to the saving grace of God in changing my life. The following are three separate letters written to the court.

    Testimony of Barry Crown 1

    To the Clerk of the Magistrates Court

    Dear Sir,

    I am a graduate of Salford University, and hold a B.Sc. in Civil Engineering. I am at present an employee of Aylesbury Borough Council, working under Mr Hanney, the Borough Engineer, and Surveyor. I have held this post since September 1970.

    Shortly after taking up residence in Aylesbury I befriended Mr David Clarke whom I met at the Full Gospel Church, Richford’s Hill. I found David to be a true and sincere Christian seeking to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to give personal testimony of the salvation through Jesus Christ, which he himself had experienced.

    David told me how he had been miraculously converted, on January 16th 1970, and before his conversion he confessed to a life of drugs and theft, but now he no longer had any desire or pleasure in such things, since Christ destroyed the power of sin in his life.

    For the six months I have known David I have been a witness to the truth of his testimony and I know him as a person who is a completely honest and trustworthy follower of the Christian faith.

    Yours Sincerely,

    R. B. Crown 45 Mitcham Walk, Aylesbury 6th February, 1971

    Testimony of Cyril Bryan 2

    To the Clerk to the Magistrates

    Dear Sir,

    I am privileged to write a testimony to you concerning David Clarke, and I count it a privilege because it is to the glory of God.

    I have known this young man through conversations and meeting with him, through the church I attend in Aylesbury. The Full Gospel Testimony Church at Richford’s Hill.

    What I wish to bring to your notice is the wonderful change that has taken place in him as a result of him believing the gospel and receiving the Lord Jesus Christ as his personal saviour, according to the scriptural instruction and ordinances.

    The change of character and speech is miraculous, as are all the works of God, and as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ for 30 years; I know that David Clarke is a transformed person, by the grace of God. As are we all who know the reality of the new birth as taught in Johns Gospel.

    You will know his past life, I testify to his new life in Christ Jesus. Yours Sincerely,

    C Bryan 2nd February 1971

    Testimony of Mr E Connet 3

    To whom it may concern

    This is to certify that I have known Mr Clarke for period of approximately 9 months since his conversion to Christianity. I am fully persuaded that he had turned his back on his past life and changed for the better.

    He is now earnestly endeavouring to make amends for his past mistakes and even influence others to turn their lives over to God, as he has done.

    My object in writing this testimonial is that it may help to throw some light on David’s character from one who knows him as a Christian.

    Yours Faithfully,

    E Connet 2nd February 1971

    I speak in court

    I appeared in court on the 9th February 1971, dressed in my dark blue (Mod) suit, and pleaded guilty. A report from the police was read and I was given leave to speak for myself. Speaking extemporary, trusting the Lord for all the help I needed, I described my pre conversion days, to the time of my conversion. I then also spoke about my life since being a Christian, explaining my difficulties with respect to the stolen goods that I had.

    The News Head Lines

    The Bucks Herald Thursday February 11, 1971.


    David Clarke, who had a three-year career of undetected crime, experienced a "Christian conversion" whilst suffering from the effects of LSD, he told Aylesbury magistrates, on Tuesday. After wrestling with his conscience for a year, he confessed to 24 crimes, and gave information leading to the recovery of over £1000 worth of stolen property. In court he pleaded guilty to charges of steeling a £300 colour television set from an old peoples home, a £20 spray gun, and a hydraulic jack. He asked for 21 other charges to be taken into consideration, including stealing a builders shed, two cars, and an electric arc welder, two other TV sets, two compressors, and a road trailer. Clarke (21) of Finmere Crescent said his reputation in the town had been that of a man who was enjoying himself. "I used to sell drugs to young people, and indulge in permissive sex" he declared.

    Seeking Truth

    "Religion to me was rubbish, and for sissy people who could not stand on their own feet", he said. "Within my heart I was searching for truth, and a meaning to life". He had good prospects of getting on in life he went on but “was not satisfied with what I

    had, I was greedy, selfish and boastful.” Clarke had been using pep pills, and marijuana since he was 16, he told the court, but it was after taking LSD that he experienced, what he described as "a major thing in my life". He described the "torment" he suffered, as a result of taking the drug, and went on "I warn any young person who hears my testimony, "The effects of LSD are so bad, and I warn you to stay clear".

    While in this condition he said he "Called on the name of Jesus" and his torment went from him.

    Voice of Christ

    "Jesus Christ spoke to me as clearly as I speak here today saying, " David I am with you". Mr Murray, of Manor Crescent, Wendover said he was habitually sceptical of sudden conversions, and preferred to put them to the question of time. The time, which had elapsed, since Clarke's profession of faith had convinced him that this young man would now be salt and light to society". "He is in truth, a new man, and had experienced what Christ called a second birth". Murray said Clarke now put himself out to be of assistance, read the bible intensely, always carried a New Testament, attended a wide circle of churches and would spend hours in discussion on spiritual things.


    Clarke's difficulty during the months spent deciding how to make amends for his past had been the problem of accusing himself, without informing on others.

    Passing sentence the chairman of the magistrates, Colonel I. Tetley, told Clarke, "You have pleaded guilty to three offenses and asked us to take into consideration 21 others, and except a record over a short period of time, which is quite the worst we have ever seen, we have considered what we aught to do and have come to the conclusion that your evident desire to become a martyr is one we are not going to gratify". He gave Clarke a conditional discharge for three years pointing out that the sincerity of his conversion could be shown by his behaviour during that period.

    The whole court appearance was reported in the local newspapers, and in the national Evening Standard. The news headline of the Bucks Herald read “ Why he confessed to 24 crimes” and “ Converted on LSD trip”. Whilst the Bucks Advertiser read “ Man speaks of horrors on LSD”.

    The outcome of the court case was a complete surprise to us all and so being overjoyed, a Christian friend, Mrs Chapski of Broughton Avenue, Aylesbury, invited us all back to her home for coffee. This happened on Tuesday 9th February 1971, a

    date that proved significant to me 3 years later. I was amazed. The magistrates thought I was trying to be a martyr. I do not know how or why. They obviously thought I should be sent to prison but part of my punishment would be I was not going to get what I wanted. God smiled. We smiled with him.

    DC Robson informed me that they had discovered that I was the person who had stolen the TV from Mike West. Mike West was the man that I had swapped the stolen set for his Citroen car.

    The police had been tipped off by one of his enemies, and as a result Mike West appeared in Court, on the same day as myself, for handling stolen goods. He was fined £25, and nearly lost his job with the insurance company that he worked for. His encounter at court also appeared on the front page of the newspaper, alongside the article about my conversion. After this I gave Mike West his Citroen car back, which I had swapped for the colour TV. I had re sprayed it a bright banana yellow, and replaced the engine. At lease he was able to sell it and get some money back. I now know and take encouragement that God work well and sorts things out when we cannot do so.

    As far as the other stolen goods were concerned the police managed to take away most of them but the firm who owned the builders shed sent a trailer. The ironic thing is that I could get no help to load the shed on the trailer. In the end Mrs Knight was the only one to help. This was very hard work but between us we managed to load it on the trailer late one night.

    Here is some information to give you some idea of the value of the stolen items: The shed was said to be worth £400. The mini was brand new and worth £672. The price of a terraced house at that time was £2000.

    In order to tell my story I need to start from the beginning. I speak about both my brother’s life and mine until the time of my conversion when the Lord Jesus spoke to me. I intend to point out the alternate life path of my brother, which led him to serve 16-year prison sentence in the Philippines, for a crime he did not commit. He died in that prison from tuberculosis, in May 2005. I then wish to speak about being a Christian to the time of my turning away from God in unbelief whilst Michael was living in Thailand getting him self in trouble. His story was told in the News of the World in 1992. I relate also the time that I was clinically diagnosed as suffering from manic depression and realised too that Michael had the same symptoms. In this edition I highlight the highs and lows of the various manic episodes in my life. I then speak of my return to faith in God, my re marriage and attempt to return to the ideals of a Christian marriage, along with the harrowing events of a broken second marriage. I describe the ups and the downs of Christian life and I hope this will be helpful and interesting to the reader.

  2. My childhood and early life

    Born in Oldham

    I was born on the 16th February 1949 at 9.50 AM, in Boundary Park General hospital, Oldham, Lancashire, next to Oldham Athletic football ground. My mother’s name was Elsie Dyson Clarke who was married to my father Thomas George Clarke some time after the war. She informed me that this hospital was next to Oldham Athletic football ground.


    Boundary Park Hospital (Where David was born)

    image image

    Thomas George Clarke (Dad) Elsie Dyson Clarke (Mum)

    We lived with my mother’s father in his house at 26 Fleet Street, Clarksfield, and Oldham. My granddad’s name was Watts Ormrod and he was a retired craftsman and senior member of a Trades Union. His hair was white which I am told happened due to an accident at work, a large rivet was pushed through his hand. I had a brother, who was two and a half years older than I, Michael John (spelt Michael instead of Michael due to my mother’s stubbornness when he was named at the registrar’s office. The official informed her that the way she had spelt Michael was in fact wrong and my mum reacted at being corrected and insisted it would be spelt just as she had written it).

    My mum and dad were both in the armed forces and were very proud to be British. Dad was in the Army and mum was in the Royal Air Force. I was christened at Christ’s Church, Glodwick and my Godfather David Maltby of 382 Barton Road; Stretford was a sideman at the Church on Barton Road, Stretford. He gave me at that time a bible with a text of scripture written on the inside cover. Prov. 3. 6 “In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths “.

    I have found a baptism certificate dated 3rd April 1949 where it states I became a member of Christ, the child of God, and an inheritor of the “Kingdom of Heaven”. This however is wrong, as I did not become a member of Christ until I was born again on the 16th January 1970, which I speak about later.


    David's Baptismal Certificate 3rd April 1949

    I can remember attending the church and Sunday school at Christchurch, which was just along the road from our house in Fleet Street. On one occasion I was so cosy, sitting on the pew, I fell asleep and woke up with a jolt wondering where I was, just as the vicar had finished his sermon. I had been lulled into sleep by the stimulating

    sermon. I haven’t changed even to day. I must have been about 3 or 4 years old. It was my mother’s idea to take my brother and I to Sunday school.


    St. Barnabas Sunday School Building

    At Sunday school I can remember we painted pictures of houses and I still remember wondering why did the teacher draw the house with the door in the middle of the building and windows either side. This was because I knew we lived in a house in a terrace and our door was to one side, just like the other houses in the street. I had no spiritual impressions of the Lord Jesus Christ from these times.

    Just across the street from our house there was a great Roman Catholic Church building and living accommodation surrounded by a high wall. It was built of red engineering bricks and several stories high with stained glass windows along the long church building. I can remember looking up at the crooked lightening conductor and I can still get the feeling of austereness and awkwardness when wondering what was behind that wall. It produced the same feeling in me when I had the story of Toby Twirl read to me. In that story he meets a giant who lived behind a great high walled castle. I was afraid to go near or to even think of climbing the wall or trespass in the grounds. I did not know it was a Roman Catholic Church until about 25 years later when my mother informed me.


    Roman Catholic Church Building

    At that time I knew of no other religion than that of the Church of England, that I knew it was Church of England but I assumed my mother was right in all such matters.


    Back Yard of 26 Fleet Street (Where David lived)

    I can remember the street lamps because a man use to come around each night to light them as they were gas and he had a small ladder, which he carried with him, pointed at one end.


    Back Alley at 26 Fleet Street

    I can remember my favourite sweets were what was called Kylie, it is called sherbet now. We could also buy a very small amount of bread called a penny loaf.

    At that time when I was about 4 years old I wanted to go to another Sunday school (I did not know at the time it was a church) that was at Lee’s Road. My mother must have taken me there before. On this occasion it was Saturday morning and I did not believe there was no Sunday school that day. After being dressed I think my mother must have humoured me and did not take me seriously I said I was going to Sunday school. I left home, I do not think my Mum realised. I walked at least two miles along Balfor Street and along the busy Lee’s Road and found the building, to my disappointment all locked up. On my return I wandered off and got lost and ended up asking for help from a Laundry Shop. They put me in the window as a lost boy and called the police. I was soon returned home. I think my Mum was horrified how far I had been.


    Clark's Field Infants School (David bottom right)

    I can remember my first day at school in the classroom with other children. The ceilings were high and there were things like sandpits and black board easels and old fashion classroom desks and tables.

    The girl next door, Vivian Butler, began school with me and I can remember her crying for her Mum. I can remember not feeling the need to cry and I tried to comfort her and assure her all would be well.

    My Auntie Edith was very good to us boys and we would visit her every Saturday. She lived with my Granddad’s sister. She was called Auntie Alice. Auntie Edith would take us out to a great park in Oldham and on the way home we would call in at the chip shop. In those days chips were real chips, cooked in real fat. One of our favourite meals she would cook was potato pie, with red cabbage. In the house there was a cellar that I always liked to visit. I think at one time washing was done in the cellar.

    At that time my brother was probably the only close friend I had, although we were not too close. He was just there. We used to go, swimming on a Saturday morning to the “Waterhead Baths”. This type of swimming baths was typical of old-fashioned baths of the time. They were small, the water green, and walls tiled cream. At the side of the pool there were slipper baths where you could sit up to your chin in hot water and carbolic soap supplied to wash with. It was very cosy. In fact the whole atmosphere was warm and cosy, not like the cold clinical swimming baths of modern times. Next-door was the washhouse where mum used to go at the same time to do washing.

    One Saturday morning I nearly drowned and was saved by the attendant called Norman. I had tiptoed backwards and as the pool got slowly deeper and deeper I found I could not touch the bottom. It was through the providence of God that the attendant turned to see me reaching upwards out of the water. I couldn’t speak. He dived in to rescued me and I can still feel the fear today of nearly drowning.

    Across the road from the swimming baths was a slaughterhouse, next door to inhabited houses. We were very curious and would look through the slatted windows and see the men kill the pigs, sheep and cattle. This was awesome and ghoulish and a fearful thing but we were very curious and wanted to see how the men slew the animals. There was blood, animal intestines, animal heads bones and blood. The smell was awful and not pleasant at all and it seemed as though the pigs knew they were going to be slaughtered and their end was come. I have wondered about my brother since then, as he was two and half years older than I, how this may have affected him. Later on in life he demonstrated a callous way, which was characteristic of killing without mercy just like these slaughter men.

    About this time I can remember coming home from school and in the dusk of that day the house seemed unusually quiet. I noticed some blood on my brother’s book and my mum told me there had been an accident. My brother had fallen down a basement stairway shaft at school and landed on his back. He was concussed and I can remember then feeling how precious life was and my brother could have died through the fall. It was awesome. I still had no recollection of God during this time.

    Oldham is a town in the north of England not far from the city of Manchester and during the 19th century was an industrial community famous for its cotton mills. In fact, my grandfather was a great supporter of the Trades Unions. As a child I can remember the old mills, red brick built with huge chimneys towering high above the buildings. I remember also the water reservoirs, which we were always warned to stay away from. My mother had spoken about children being drowned in them and this was sufficient for me to obey her.


    Typical Mill at Oldham

  3. My time at Garston Infants School

    My Mum took me to my first day at school. I was in the second year of the infants. My mum had arranged for me to walk home with a girl called Vivian who apparently lived in Coates Way, which was where we lived. Not that I knew my address because I didn’t. All I knew was we had move to a place called Garston so I assumed we lived in Garston Road.

    When it came to walking home I had to follow Vivian but she took me by a way that I had never been before. A completely different way and across a park to what was the other end of Coates Way. She left me there and I had no Idea where I was, as I did not recognise anywhere at all. Feeling uneasy about all this I realised I was now lost. So I made my way back towards the school and began to ask people where Garston Road was. There was no such place but I insisted I lived in Garston Road. A man with a Bedford dormobile offered to take me back to school to find out where I lived, so off we went. The schoolteacher said I live in Coates Way where Vivian had took me but I said I didn’t live there, as I could not recognise the place. The man took me back to Coates Way but I could not recognise where I lived. He drove from one end to the other. It was quite a long Way with a Council estate on one end and private houses at the other end. This was where I lived, 149 Coates Way. I saw my Mum in the front garden - so I arrived home after being lost on my first day at school.

    My classroom teacher was a German woman called Miss Kitchinger. She spoke with a German accent and I spoke with a broad Lancashire accent. We did not hit it off and I was hopeless at reading the flash cards. It seemed as though I was singled out and proved to be a dunce, as I could not really read. Being small I think I would mess about.

    One day when I arrive at school I found a pair of pumps (they called them plimsolls) on my desk and I did not like them being there. Feeling rather indignant I place them in the dustbin. I think I might have asked the teacher “please Miss, whose are these pumps?” but I was ignored, as she did not understand me so in the bin they went.

    The next day Vivian’s parents came to school wanting to find out where her plimsolls had gone. The caretaker said he had found them and placed them on my desk. When I was questioned I was in trouble and Miss Kitchinger said my mum would have to buy Vivian a new pair as I had thrown them away. I felt this unfair and really picked on. I know my mum came to the school and had an argument about the pumps and the fact that a German teacher was trying to teach English. The time was only 10 years after the war had ended (She wasn’t happy with the Germans).

    At that time my mum had to work late and it was arranged for me to wait in the classroom after school until my mum came to pick me up. This was shortly after the event with the plimsolls. The class had a pet hamster and this little creature got all the attention from every one. I was the one that got no attention but rather got into trouble. One evening whilst I was waiting in the classroom for my mum to collect me the teacher left the classroom for a short while.

    I went towards the hamster cage and thought to my self why do you get all the attention. I know what I am going to do with you. I took the hamster out to the cage and closed the door. I looked the hamster in the in the eyes and went over to Vivian’s desk and put it inside, shutting the lid quickly thinking that will pay her back for getting me in trouble over her plimsolls. I sat back in my chair before the teacher returned and went home with mum as though nothing had happened.

    The next day I went into class as quiet as I could and keeping out of the way. I waited patiently for the eruptions then suddenly, Oh Miss, screamed Vivian; the hamster is in my desk. It had weed and messed everywhere through out the night. Every one gathered around the desk to see at the same time I felt very guilty. One boy tried to suggest the hamster had escaped and climbed up the table leg and got through the whole drilled at the bottom to let spilled ink to drain. A good ideal I though keep thinking that. Then some one asked how did it get out of the cage as the door was closed. I was feeling very, very guilty now and wondered if Miss Kitchinger was thinking had I done the deed the night before. I kept quiet and to this day they do not know how that hamster got there. During this time my brother was attending the Lea Farm Junior School, the school I was to attend the next year or so.

    Congregational Sunday school

    My mum use to take me to Sunday school from time to time and I didn’t mind going. One day (about 1958) on the way home from normal school I would walk past the Congregational church building, rather a modern one and the vicar lived in a Gypsy stile caravan in the church grounds.

    The church was always left open and we often went in the church on the way home. I saw on one occasion some boy’s take the money out of the collection box, which too was left unlocked. I could not understand this. Why where things left unlocked for anyone to steel from.

    One day after school I met the vicar when I was looking around the church and I asked him why is the building left open and why is the collection box not locked. His reply puzzled me. He said the church should be always open for people because God was like that and that if people fell they need to steel the collection then they must need it badly. He did not feel the box should be locked. I was puzzled and said by why? The vicar was sure it was the right thing to do. That stayed with me to this day and people get angry some times with me for not looking up my house.

    At this same church I can remember the Easter services. I had no Idea what the gospel was nor did I understand the Easter story. I can remember sitting in the pew during the Easter service listening to how they crucified Jesus wondering why Jesus did not come down from the cross. I felt he could have done so and confound all them Pharisees, but why didn’t he do so. I knew the story about his death and resurrection but did not know what it all meant. I never did find out until 14 years later when I was 21 years old when I learned to read the bible for my self. It was then I learned that Jesus had to die to take away my sins. That he died in my place to set me free from sin, self and death.

    It was about this time (1959) that my mum encouraged me to play the piano. Mum favourite artists were Perry Como and, “Side Saddle” was a piece of mum’s favourite music, which I learned to play. I had music lessons with a Miss Mary Lee, a music teacher in Garston and eventually I graduated with a merit Grade 1 (Primary) RSA in Pianoforte. This was July 1960. The sort of music, which was popular in those days, was. “Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, My Old mans a dustman by Lonnie Donnigan, Living Doll by Cliff Richards. Also the Hula-Hoop was a craze.

    Cecil the sissy and air pistol

    My brother and I lived at 149 Coates Way, Garston and our house was the last private house next to the Council housing estate on the same road. There was a boy who lived with his mother in a council house just along the road from us and my brother nicknamed Cecil, as this sounded like a suitable name for a sissy. He was a cripple in the sense that his feet were curved inwards and he walked awkwardly and he must have been about 10 years old. My brother poked fun at him and I too soon followed suit. We would sing about him and made up a song called, “Cecil, Cecil a Cecil feet”. He would try and avoid us. As I write about it I feel bad and if I were to catch my son or daughter saying such things I would deal with them severely.

    One day Cecil came on his bike down to the woods that we called the dell. We were playing up the trees and had made a catapult out of one of the branches of the trees. One person would sit in the branch and two or three other kids would pull on the rope till the branch was fully bent. The rope would be released and the person would be catapulted up in the air. They would have to hold on tightly other wise they would end up in the other trees.

    On this day my brother had it in for Cecil. He had come to play in the dell and we took his bike from him putting into or catapult. We released the rope and his bike went up, over and into trees and then left Cecil to recover it. We were nasty. We thought this was great fun but Cecil did not and was very unhappy.

    His mother then came to our house and complained to my mum about our bullying Cecil but she seemed to have no mercy. She said Cecil had got to learn to look after himself and he was a sissy. She said he would have to learn to stand on his own two feet. I felt mum was wrong as I knew how bad we were and my mum seemed to have no mercy. I felt guilty at that time but kept quiet.

    Shortly after this incident my brother encouraged me to take our newly acquired air pistols to school and Cecil was the one who my brother bullied and threaten to shoot in the playground. In fact it was at the Lea Farm Junior School and during the morning break Cecil was in the playground hiding behind the wall and Michael had the GAT air pistol and took pot shots at him. Fortunately for Cecil he missed but that is the way it was. On reflection my brother seemed to have no mercy at all. My brother must have been in the final year and I in the first year of Lea Farm Junior School.


    David at Lea Farm Junior School

    It wasn’t long however before my air pistol was found and confiscated by the teacher. This was because one of the other boys had taken it from my desk, after the assembly that day, and was caught by a teacher running around the classroom with it. Of course I was in trouble again with the Headmaster and I got the cane for bringing a dangerous weapon to school.

    Wrexham Holiday

    Michael and I must have been about 10 and 12 years old and Mum and dad had renovated an old Ford convertible whose number plate was BBU.

    Our mum had bought this car whilst we were living in Oldham and dad was working in Watford. Dad had moved from Oldham to the South to get a job and was living with his mum (our grandma at Ash Tree Road Garston, Watford). Our parents were able

    to buy our house at 149 Coates Way, Garston and it was mum who decided to buy the car to get Michael and I down from Oldham to Watford. I was proud of my mum for doing this at it was a long way to travel from Oldham to Watford in those days. In fact on two or three occasions it stopped on the way and mum had to get help from garages to blow air down the fuel pipe to clear the stoppages.

    It was this car that I often fell out of when the breaks were hit. It causes me to move foreword and push open the door look. The doors opened the opposite way round the cars of our days. I would end up on the road outside the car. Dad eventually was able to put a safety chain on the handle to stop this happening.

    I was also proud of my dad as he rebuilt the engine and painted the car black and green. Mum made a new convertible top using her sewing skills. It was a bit like Noddy's cars it was really good.

    It was in this car we went to Brixton for a holiday and it was there mum and dad bought Michael and I a fishing rod each. I had a wooden cane one and he had a metal rod. I remember I was always jealous of what he had because I always thought his things where better than mine.

    However we were very keen to try out the rods out in the sea harbour. Michael rushed to the waterside just around the corner and soon came back crying with part of his rod in hand. He said a man had took his rod and thrown it into the sea and rod of on a bike. Dad rushed around but no on could be seen. We looked for the man on his bike but one on was to be seen. It is only now as I look back that I believe Michael had quickly put the rod together pretended to fish by casting an imaginary line and the rod top had gone straight into the see. He probably felt he would have been told off by our dad and be in trouble. So he invented a story about a man on a bike.

    When I look back it is incidences like this that I learned about the way Michael thought and the way his mind worked and in latter life able to stretch a story.

    The Fair at Garston, paper round and stolen bike

    Every year the fair would come to Garston and I really looked forward to ride the dodgem cars. All the kid would go to the fair and spend lots of time watching. I can remember two brothers who worked on the fair and these were like heroes and we would wonder who was the strongest and speculate, which on could lift a dodgem car above their head. We would also listen to the latest pop music, which played through large loudspeakers. This was before any one had personal radios or cassette players. There was no Top of the Pops on TV. So the fair was the place to hear pop music.

    I was probably about 11 or 12 years old this year and I remember stealing £3 from my mum’s purse. I felt guilty and bad at the time and I still feel the shame as I write about it now and this hard earned money of my mum was spent at the fair. At one time I was at the fair on my own trying to get a free ride on the dodgem cars and a man in a suit offered me a number of free rides. He then asked me to help him fix his

    car that had broken down which was along the St Albans Road. I wasn’t too happy about this so I went home and told my mum. Within a short while the CID came and asked me all sorts of questions about this man and I was able to help them all I could. It just shows how youngsters can be caught off guard. Thankfully I had listened to my mum and got away.

    My brother at that time had a paper round and use to get up early each morning, which means of course he now had his own money. I can remember him obtaining all sorts of new things like writing cases, pens, pencils, ink cartridges, etc. all the little things one would like but could not afford. I soon realised that my brother was not buying them but stealing them from the shop that he worked at.

    On the odd occasion I would go and help him deliver the papers. I enjoyed this as it took me to places I had never been before. On this first occasion we had to deliver papers to a hospital or residential home and around the back of the building we could see the kitchens and we could help our selves to the cakes, which had been freshly cooked. I learn from my brother how easy it was to get things I wanted.

    I always looked up to my brother and often envied the things he did and had. I remember him going to Switzerland with the school and him coming home with all kinds of good, like a walking stick, flick knives, badges etc. Flick knives were illegal and to have a flick knife was a good thing.

    Michael soon got in to bow and arrows, air rifles, pistols, swords and sheath knives, all of, which seemed good to me. In fact we use to hide all these weapons under the floorboards in our shed, which our dad had built at the bottom of our garden.

    At this time I remember my mum and dad buying me a new bike. It was a red Californian with curved crossbars etc. I thought it was great and was ever so pleased with it. One day the bike went missing and I knew some one had taken it so I was very upset. When I went out looking for it I noticed up the main road that an accident had taken place as there were cars stopped and people milling around. To my horror I saw my nice new bike crumpled and just lying at the side of the road. The boy who had taken it had been knocked off the bike and was lying in the road awaiting an ambulance and every one was trying to take care of him.

    I thought to my self never mind about him, as he had stolen my bike, look at my new bike all bent. I was very upset. No one however took any notice of me, neither were they concerned about my bike being damaged. The boy’s name was Michael Abbes, from the Council side of Coates Way, and we had been friends until that time. I seem to remember he had broken his leg or legs in the accident. His mother later said he had not stolen my bike but rather I had left it at their house and he was just returning it to me.

    A Stolen Crystal Set

    My interest in radio, which we now call electronics, started the day I heard a crystal set operate. I must have been 11 or 12 years old. We were members of the Camping Club of Great Britain and every weekend we would go camping to Chertsey where we had a tent pitched.

    image image

    Dad at Chertsey campsite Dad by our canoe

    One weekend my brother stole a crystal set from one of the other campers. It consisted of a small tuning capacitor in a blue plastic case and a crystal diode together with a set of headphones. I was intrigued and was amazed as it worked. From that day I became to be interested in radio and electronics. Soon after this I sent away for a set of parts to build a two transistor, radio reflex receiver, and put the thing together, as best I could. I wired the circuit as I thought the diagram showed and crushed it all together to fit inside its plastic case. It didn’t work and I was most disappointed. I didn’t realise that all the wires were shorted together when I crushed it into the plastic case. Another friend of mine’s dad helped me out. He was a radio technician in the Royal Air force and he rebuilt the receiver and showed me how to wire circuits up. From that time I began to learn about how things worked and taught my self-many things with the help of others.

    Another friend of mine had a dad who had a radio workshop and I was very envious of all the equipment he had in his garage. I remember the boy being confident enough to take apart out of an old radio for me, without any sense of fear. I was quite impressed. From then on I taught my self quite a lot and began to learn about transistors. On one occasion about this time, on the way home from school, I climbed over the fence of someone’s back garden and discovered to my pleasure a shed full of radio parts and equipment. There were valves, tuning condensers, transformers etc., we took what we wanted and thought no more of it.

    Another friend of my parents was an ex Air force radio technician and he taught me all about diodes and rectifiers, half wave and full wave rectifying circuits and AM demodulators. This was at the age of 12.

    This hobby was to last me a lifetime and helped lead me to a job in radio and television servicing and also to Luton College of Technology. During this time whilst living in Garston I had no sense of or knowledge of God and I had stopped going to Sunday school.

  4. My time at Francis Coombe Secondary School

    My first senior school was in Garston as I had failed the 11 plus. It was at this school I first heard a boy play “Apache” by the Shadows, on an acoustic guitar and I was very impressed. Michael had already started at this school and did well at cricket, Boxing and Basketball. I was not good at any of these things but rather was interested in my radio hobby, which led me to trips to London, on the train, from Watford Junction, to buy components.

    My visit to Soho

    It was towards the end of my first year at Francis Coombe Secondary modern school that I ventured out to London, on the train, with a friend of mine, Paul Dorrington. This was to visit the second hand electrical shops, to buy radio parts. I loved visiting Tottenham Court Road for this purpose and it was on one of these visits that we stumbled across Soho and noticed the strip clubs. These aroused our curiosity. Paul and I plucked up courage and paid to go in and sit at a table. We could see a nude lady sitting on a chair and were given a sketchpad and pencil and encouraged to draw her picture. I felt I was growing up. Afterwards we paid one or two more visits and became wiser.

    When we moved to Wilstone, a village near Tring in Hertfordshire, my radio and television hobby helped me pass the time and kept me out of too much trouble.

    Move to Wilstone

    Towards the end of 1961 our parents had decided to buy a village shop in Wilstone, a village near Tring, Hertfordshire. When we moved Michael and I went to Tring Secondary Modern School. I can remember feeling we were different as we had come from Watford to a county village. Michael wore different cloths and on one occasion he wore winkle picker shoes and some of the girls from the next village couldn’t help but say, “Oh look at those shoes”. They were just different and even I thought they were stupid. I suppose they felt threatened.

    It was during this time that I taught myself more about Radio and amplifiers and became absorbed in this hobby. I met a man in the village called Cluk Turney who was the man to know about televisions and radios and he gave me a lot of help. He taught me about valve amplifiers and allowed me to build a power amplifier from all the spare parts that he had. It was a push pull amplifier using two PX4 valves and a triode driver. I had to rewind the driver and output transformers in order to get it working. I learned a lot from Cluck Turney.

    On one occasion I was able to connect a microphone up to the amplifier that I had made and direct the speaker out of my bedroom window. I then spoke to people out side our shop from my bedroom window. On this occasion I saw a woman in her rear garden, just opposite the shop and I called Ethel, Ethel as loud as possible saying. “

    Ethel, Ethel I am watching you”. I heard many years latter that she thought it sounded a bit like God speaking from the sky.

    I later had a visit from the local policeman as I had found a 12 bore shotgun in an old barn and brought it home. When I showed it to my next-door neighbour he recognised the gun and realised who it belonged too and so he informed the local policeman to get it returned to its owner.

    Whilst at Tring School a friend of mine Duncan Miller found a baby fox cub in a wood and I wanted to keep it so I took it home. Unfortunately my Grandma who had come to stay freaked out when she saw it as she was frightened and to my dismay my brother killed it and to this day I felt he was callous.

    It wasn’t very long after this when my brother got sent to his first spell in Detention Centre. He had made a knuckle-duster at school, in the metal work class, and tried it out by hitting some boy in the village.

    What happened was some lads had found our mopped in the field and had a go at riding it without our permission. Not that they would know whom to ask but my brother felt he would sort them out for riding it. I think it was an excuse to use the knuckle-duster that he had made.

    When the police were called in he made out the knuckle duster was made as a part for the moped and my mum was certain this was true and she defended my brother to the hilt. I knew it wasn’t, true and my brother did a spell in Detention centre for 3 months, for grievous bodily harm. I did not go along with my brother’s violence and could not understand it. His reputation spread and the schoolteachers began to identify me with me with him and I think they began to be wary of me too. Unfortunately Michael used to mixed with all the lads who had bad reputations and no one would dare upset them.

    Village life proved too much for my mum and she became depressed due to they way things were and the trouble Michael had gotten into so it was decided to sell up and move to a new house in Aylesbury.

    The Big Freeze 1962/63

    Once we had sold the village shop mum and I moved to Oldham whilst Michael and dad moved into lodgings in Aston Clinton. This was while the house they had bought off plan was being built. We moved to live with my aunt Edith at 26 Fleet Street, in the town where I was born and had to go to school. This was Clark’s Field Senior School and I became a bit of a celebrity simply because I was from “London”. This status increased when I told the “lads” about my trips to Soho. It was here that I first heard of the Beatles as they were playing in Oldham at that time. The song I remember that was popular, “Love me do”, which came out in October 1962.

    During my time in Oldham we were there for about three months, I built a balsa wood, controlled line, aeroplane, a radio transmitter for a remote control aircraft and learned to ice skate.

    We had a very cold winter, the coldest on record and the snow fell and the streets froze over. My mum bought me a pair of second hand ice skates and I learned to skate on the frozen streets in Oldham.

    Short stay back to Watford

    After staying for while in Oldham we moved back to Watford and lived with my Dad’s mum, my grandma. On this occasion I had to go back to Francis Coombe Secondary School and I renewed acquaintances with my former friends. It was during this time I made my first transistor radio set. It was a two transistor reflex receiver and I was very proud of it, as it was the size of a matchbox. I also missed riding the moped and so I got up very early one morning and walked into Watford where I knew a motorbike was parked and took it. I drove several miles to a secret place and parked it up and went home. I later used it for joy riding with my friends. I walked miles that morning and my mum never knew about it.

    Michael also would visit us at Watford and see his old friends who played in a pop group and on one occasion he gave me a pair of bell-bottom trousers and a shirt, with a long pointed collar. Michael and his friend wanted to take me to the dance that was held at Leavesdon, on a Friday or Saturday night. I really enjoyed myself there and wanted to go again. I met some of my friends from school there and one boy noticed my clothes and said that I was a Mod.

    Unfortunately for me after this I began to get bullied at school by a group of boys who were what you might call Jack the Lads. I learned afterward the reason and it was to do with Michael. One of the boys was from Australia and was the ringleader of this gang and he had a girl friend at the school called Pat Petty. She was very boys dream of a girl. Well Michael had met her at the Leavesdon dance and chatted her up. This Australian boy was jealous and a soon as they realised I was Michael’ brother they had it in for me.

    I was interested in amplifiers and one day, when walking home, I was curious to take a look around a catholic church on the North Orbital Road, near Garston when I noticed a Public Address amplifier, sitting on a shelf, which was obviously used as their PA system. It was a 15 Watt Linear Concord and it took my eye so I decided I would take it, saying to my self that it didn’t matter as the Catholic religion was wrong, so it didn’t matter- at least according to my mother. This amplifier became my first guitar amp, which I used in our first rock group, at a later date.

    My first matchbox radio

    It was during this time I obtained a circuit diagram of a two transistor reflex receiver and with the components I obtained from Tottenham Court Road, London, I built this on a small paxolin board. This was before printed circuit boards were readily available. I was very pleased with this as it had good sensitivity and selectivity and was about the size of a matchbox.

  5. Aylesbury our new home

    Our new house was situated on the Bedgrove estate in Aylesbury and was ready for us to move in, in April of 1963. However before we left Wilstone I had enjoyed riding a moped in an old orchard, in the village. It belonged to a friend of Michael and I was allowed to ride this moped. It was a 50 cc NSU Quickly and was kept in his orchard. Once we had moved into out new house in Aylesbury I was able to return to Wilstone and take the engine from the moped frame and put the engine in a home made go kart. I made this go-kart from builder’s wood that I took from the building site. I use the moped engine, a set of wheels from a child’s three wheeler tricycle, and various parts from a cement mixer. I then began to ride this machine around the new roads on the housing estate. However I was eventually stopped by the local police and warned that it was illegal to ride this Go Kart on the roads and soon after that the local newspaper came and gave me a write up in the Bucks Herald.


    David's do it your self-kart (May 1963)

    David’s do it your self-kart

    An Aylesbury boy was able to return to school after the Easter holidays and proudly tell his friends, “ I’ve made a Go Cart in the holidays.” He is 14 years old, David Clarke, of 37 Finmere Crescent, Bedgrove.

    On Sunday of last week a friend gave David (pictured above) and old moped. As he was unable to ride it he - he is too young he dismantled it. He then made a Kart frame from some pieces of wood, four old wheels and a set of handlebars and the moped engine.

    Within three days it was in working condition and David estimates it will do 20 miles and hour.

    Incidentally David, who has lived in the town for only a month has very little real interest in engines. His main hobby is in radio construction work and one of his proudest possessions is a transistor radio, which he built that is slightly larger than a matchbox.

    I steel push bikes

    It was during this space of time, before starting my new school; I met another lad called Ian Morttam. We encouraged each other to steel pushbikes. In fact the first day I went to school I stole a bike to come home from school.

    I eventually got a Francis Barnet 150 CC motorbike, which my brother had stolen from Aylesbury College, with some other lads. I kept this in a field on the Bedgrove estate near our home. It was great fun to have a motorbike and I would ride across the fields to school and return home during my lunch hour. However one day some one stole my motorbike and Ian Morttram informed me that he thought he knew the person that had taken it. I went to this person's house early one morning during my paper round and found a motorbike in his garage. This wasn’t my bike but I took it anyway. This ended up in me being charge with garage breaking and being put on probation for two years.

    Leaving School Teenage years

    My first recollection of any religious person having any effect on my life was when I was about to leave school, at the age of 15 years.

    My mother had spoken to a Mr K H Knight who was the proprietor of Central Bucks TV and had arranged for me to have a part time job working after school and on a Saturday. This was until I left school and took up full time work as an apprentice to Mr Knight. I am told years latter that my letter of job application was so badly written and the spelling so awful it was laughable. However I was taken on despite my ability not to write, spell or use correct grammar, or read properly. This was during my last year at school.

    I first met Mrs Grace Knight, one Saturday morning, whilst working for her husband Ken. She was in hot pursuit of her husband and shouting at him for doing some thing she disapproved of. I was in the workshop, with Norman Garret the other apprentice,

    and I thought- wow what and awful dragon of a woman and pitied Mr Knight from that moment on.

    Through Mr Knight (Ken) I was introduced to the Radio and Television servicing trade and often went with him into customer’s houses to repair TV’s and install television aerials.

    I spent many hours with Ken going to people homes and soon learned that he was not faithful to his wife. Not that it bothered me, as I knew what Grace was like from our first meeting. The idea of sexual promiscuity was very attractive to me. When we went out enjoying our selves Mrs Knight would be left at home or in the workshop minding their two children Allison and Mark. They also had a big dog called Rufus. By this time I had left school and was interested in our band, as we wanted to make music. Ian Myers was the bass guitarist and he built his own guitar amplifier from a circuit design and published in Practical Wireless. He built the amplifier I helped him with the speaker cabinet and it was used in all our future gigs.

    I soon began to realise the things I enjoyed were not the things Mrs Knight approved of, or found interesting. I thought she was a right “kill joy” and was boring. She was a Christian what ever that meant and I soon realise her values were not the same as mine. What I considered good and enjoyable she would call it sin and sinful

    She would also complain to her husband that I was always with him and he gave her no time. It seemed she was often driven to despair by him never being in on time and being very unreliable. He would often leave her for hours whilst we were at work out on jobs.

    On one occasion Norman Garret’s mum complained to Mrs Knight the Norman her son, was not getting the training he needed because Ken was always taking me out with him. I heard this conversation over the shops intercom. Mrs Knight said yes I was a nuisance and she did not like me one bit and it was not good that I should be out with her husband all the time. Upon hearing this I felt angry and went down the stairs to where they were and confronted them both saying that I had heard what they had said about me. They were embarrassed and I am sure did not help our relationship. I really thought Mrs Knight was an ogre.

    I began to attend Luton College of Technology, to learn about Radio and Television Servicing, and travelled by bus, one day a week, from Aylesbury to Luton; it was about an hour’s run. I think it must have been due to Mrs Knight and her religion that I began to notice the texts of scripture put up out side churches as I past by on the bus, they were called “Way side pulpits”. I began to memorise the verses.

    “ Righteousness exalteth a nation but sin is a reproach to any people”,

    And also another:

    “ Jesus said if you find life difficult learn of me and the burden I shall give you will not be too difficult to carry”.

    At that time I had no idea of the meaning of these texts of scripture but found it amusing to quote them to Mrs Knight at any in appropriate moment thinking it would embarrass her.

    On one occasion I can remember being dressed in an old blanket made into an undercoat from an army anorak. I was standing on the corner of the street near to the workshop one Saturday morning with Mr and Mrs Knight. I quoted at the top of my voice these two scriptures in order to embarrass Mrs Knight. I am not sure how they felt about it but little did I know that one day I would learn the truth of these texts and become a preacher of the Gospel myself.

    I enjoyed working for Mr Knight because he seemed to appreciate my help and abilities and would trust me to drive the van at 15 years old. On one occasion he was short of a driver and had to deliver a television so he dressed me up in a sheepskin coat and gave me dark glasses to wear with instructions to deliver a TV to a house in Quarendon. I was very pleased to do this even more when it turned out that I was delivering the TV set to one of my school friends called Gillespie. On another occasion I was given the job of replacing a complete I.F. board on a new Ferguson TV receiver, in a customers home. A qualified engineer in a workshop setting normally would have done this but this unconventional approach was normal to me. Mr Knight had complete confidence in me at the age of 15 or 16 years old. I am sure the customer was not at all happy at this 15 year old repairing their lovely brand new Television.

    During this time I was still making music in the group and when I was 16 Mr Knight's business failed and went into liquidation so I found myself another job. I got an apprenticeship with Sale and Mellor at Radio a TV shop in Aylesbury. I worked her until I got trouble with the police when I was dismissed at the age of 17 years.

  6. Our Rock group


    It was shortly after this time that I got into trouble with the police for breaking into a garage and stealing a motorbike. I had a Francis Barnett 150 CC, which had been stolen from the field where I kept it and a friend of mine told me that it was in this garage, along the Tring Road. At first I was just interested in getting my bike back but when I opened the garage door I was disappointed not to find it - just a 125 BSA Bantam. I thought well its better than nothing so I decided to take it any way and wheeled it out of the garage and back to our field, to use it later. The police later caught me and for this first crime I was charged with garage breaking and put on probation for two years.

    It was after this that decided I wanted to play the electric guitar and I can remember a lad called Alan Lawrence, from Tring Secondary Modern School, having an electric guitar and bringing it to school. He plugged it into the schools record player and it sounded great. I wanted to learn to play like him. The first guitar I owned was an electric Hofner Futurama II and a friend called Steve showed me how to play Twist and Shout and it was this that got me really interested to play properly. I put together my own guitar amplifier, using the PA amplifier that I had stolen from the Catholic Church. (I had inherited a prejudice against the Catholic Church, from my mum, and so when I took the amplifier I ignored my conscience by saying to myself they were wrong any way).

    I then began to get more interested in making music and during my last year at school we formed a band and we played at the end of term school dance. Our Gym teacher, Mr Pottinger, organized this event.

    Dave Clarke from the 60's, with Robby Woods (top) Ian Myers

    Ian Myers was the base guitarist and later Robby Woods became our lead guitarist. On that occasion though, at the school do, Willie Barrett was lead guitarist. He was

    the only one of us to make musical fame. He became known as Wild Willy Barrett and played music with John Otway.

    After leaving school we reformed the group and began to play music at various dance halls and I named the group “The Fowler Mean”. By this time I had a new amplifier that was a Vox AC 30 and replaced the amplifier that I had stolen from the Catholic Church. One of our regular spots, on a Saturday night, was Courts Dance School, just off Kingsbury Square. We would play all cover music by groups such as, The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Small Faces, The Kinks, Otis Reading and John Lee Hooker. We played, "My Generation", but I knew it was not quite right and I never did find out how to play the right cords to this day. The opening chords we played were four down strokes on G followed by four downward strokes on F but that is not right. I always thought if ever I met Pete I would ask him to show me how play those opening chords. I really enjoyed playing with the band but was eventually sacked and it was then that Malcolm Kirkham and I began to knock around with each other.

    Our favourite band The Who

    My favourite band was The Who. This group introduced something to music that was new. It was volume. My Generation was the real hit that made the Who. I can remember hearing them, at the Grosvenor Dance Hall, in Aylesbury. Pete Townshend was the lead guitar, John Entwhistle on bass, Keith Moon on drums and Roger Daultary lead singer. There was not a band to touch them they were brilliant. We saw them on a number of occasions including places like Borehamwood and the Bedford Corn Exchange.

    I can remember the amplifier line up (being interest in amplifiers) Pet Townshend had 2X 100 Vox guitar amplifiers, connected in parallel and John Entwhistle had 4 X 60 watt Vox bass amplifiers and their PA system was Vox columns and Shure microphones. The volume added depth to the music and none of us had experienced anything like it before. Songs like my Generation, I Can See for Miles, I'm a Boy, Love is Strange were all classic Who numbers and nu-forgettable pieces of music.


    The Who our favourite Band

    Malcolm Kirkham use to be one of our singers which made 5 in the band and we use to go out together on our scooters. I had inherited my brother’s Lambretta TV 175 CC and Malcolm had a 150 CC new Lambretta and we began to mix with the Mods in Aylesbury and district.

    He had been sacked from the group because he messed about. Malcolm would always arrive late and never be in time to set up the equipment. He would always comb his hair or having to press his trousers and he general fooled around. He was nicknames CoCo the clown.

    After mixing with the other lads in Aylesbury I soon found out my brother was well known and when it was made known I was Mike Clarke’s brother it was like having a license to or say any thing, I was accepted. I was one of the boys.

    I recalled the times my brother had told me of the parties they use to have and I began to want to get involved in all the fun. Pep pills, scooter, Mod fashions, dances, girls and permissive sex. All of which I found positive and attractive as we were looking for a good time in the world.

    The image I had of my brother was that he was quite a character and had a way with girls. I remember that was how I wanted to be and follow him in fame.

    I can remember one impressive occasion I must have been just 16 and met one of Michael’s friends who was a Mod. One Saturday night out side the Grosvenor he came dressed in brightly coloured trousers and a black plastic mac wearing girls make up around the eyes. This was the in thing to do and I thought this is good and liked it.

    The normal mode of transport was either a Lambretta or Vespa scooter with crash bars, back rests, spare wheel carriers and mirrors. The scooters would be custom sprayed and generally a world war green Parker or black plastic cape was the uniform. All of this became the world I wanted to be in.

    I remember my brother coming to see us at Rockley Sands, in Bournemouth when I was away with my parents on holiday. I must have been 15 years old. He came dressed in a brown suit with 22 inch, Oxford Bag trousers, with small turn-ups. His top was a white crew necked and red stripped tea shirt. Also brown brogue leather shoes. This was some fashion that I had not seen before. It was the Mod fashion.

    He told me he had to return to Aylesbury to do some repairs and tidy up mum and dads house as they had a party and the place had been wrecked. Apparently all the Aylesbury Mods and from the district had been to his party held at Mum and Dads house. They had rolled up the carpets and put them in the garage but the bathroom sink had been pulled off the wall as some girl had got drink and sat in it. He told me of the promiscuity and it all seemed good fun. This was the year 1963 or 4 when the Beatles and Rolling Stone came to fame. Also Gerry and the Pacemakers had a hit records at the time called, “I Like it”.

    My first Girl Friend

    I met Susan, at a Friday night dance being organised at the Aylesbury College, she was 15 and looked great. She had blond hair in a Bob style. I was 16, wearing my navy blue Mod suite and I had arrived on my Lambretta. I asked her to dance and later asked if I could take her home. I was feeling great when she agreed and so I covered up my learner plate, which was just under the rear, number plate and took her home. This was the beginning of my first love, which only lasted a few months. When she told she wanted to finish the relationship I was heart broken and she sought to encourage me by saying I would find some one else. I never did and had no interest in finding any one else. My only interest in girls after that was for sex alone- not friendship or anything else.

    During this time Malcolm and I mixed with the Mods in Aylesbury we were both 16 years old and we began to meet with these older lads and were curious to try pep pills (purple hearts, black bombers and Dexedrine) and smoke hashish, or grass, so we began to make some inquiries where to get some. In the mean time we would experiment smoking crushed codeine tablets and dried banana skins. This was purely to satisfy a curiosity and to experience new things. The was a pub in Aylesbury called the, “Flee Pit” situated in Kingsbury Square and it was there we understood we could buy hash. However at 16 I went in this pub and became very embarrassed as on the wall behind the bar were displayed ladies knickers in various styles and colours. I felt embarrassed because the sight aroused me as at that time there was very little pornography and the sight of a women in a short skirt and legs was very provocative for a 16 year old, On reflection I had a very high libido. Which led to a very promiscuous life style.

    Shortly after this I remember my brother coming home about 9.30 pm in a hurry. He had not long been released from Detention Centre. Our parents were away and I had a girl friend there. In came my brother and told me of his narrow escape from the police. About six of his friends had been out in a stolen car, not taxed or insured, when the police had stopped them along the Tring Road. They had all jumped out and made a run for it. It was soon after this that my brother got sent to Borstal Training for some crime or other. Never the less it all seemed a good life style and I wanted more of it.

    I had discovered I could buy chloroform from a chemist and this was much better than sniffing carbon Tetrachloride or the glue substances people began to experiment with. Shortly after this Malcolm Kirkham after trying something like this took it in his head he could fly on his scooter. He broke his arm and smashed his scooter in the process but fortunately not his head as he was wearing a dear stalker crash helmet he had stolen a few days before.

    The names of some of the lads we knew and come to mind were: Stuart Knight, Keith Guntrip, Ian Wilton, Dill Dorwrick, and Terry Tatem

    (Now dead), Phil Davis, Brian Collier, Mickey Coil, Roy Miles, John James, Dave King, Jimmy Findlay, Phil Davis, and the like all of which had one thing in common. They wanted fun and were the lads of Aylesbury.

    At that time after being sacked from the group we began going to a nightclub called the Banbury Gaff. Here we would stay up all night taking pep pills (we use to say

    getting blocked) dancing and talking and in the morning end up in a cafe eating toast before driving back to Aylesbury. Soon after this Malcolm began to mix with the lads from Oxford and he was later sentence to some time in prison, for some crime or other. During this time my brother was in Borstal and at the Gaff I met Alan Dodd. He was my brother’s partner in crime and had escaped from Borstal and was living on a barge in Oxford. He told me at the time he had a gun and all this type of living impressed me as it seemed rather exciting. We would spend time at the Gaff talking with other lads about the crimes we had done and planned various schemes and bragged and boasted about things we had done.

    Mods ride scooters, Rockers bikes. Who drives a bubble car?

    Shortly after my brother came out of Borstal a form of transport was required for two. A solution to this came through my brother who persuaded me to swap my scooter for a two-seated Issetta 350 cc bubble car. I had inherited the scooter from my brother when he was sent to Borstal but by now it had been renovated. I had rebuilt it in the spare bedroom at home and re sprayed it British racing Green. It was a Lambretta 175 cc. The fuel tank and tool compartment was stove enamelled gold. It had a dual seat with a passenger back rest with very little extras. There had been crazes whereby crash bars, wing mirrors, wheel racks and anything made of chrome were generally attached to such machines, but not mine. I was proud of this Lambretta. It had to go to make way for the sky blue Bubble Car.

    Pete Townshend gives us a lift

    Before this time we had to thumb lifts, to get to where we wanted too, if the scooter was out of action. On one occasion we were keen to get to Bedford, as The Who were playing at the Corn Exchange. We were dressed in our Mod mohair suits and carried a small suitcase with our night things in. We got as far as Ampthill and were stuck at the corner of the Ampthill to Bedford road and were about 20 miles from Bedford. We were stuck and Michael went into a pub to get a drink whilst I stayed on the corner trying to thumb a lift. To my relief and just after Michael had gone to the pub, a two seater red coupe Jaguar pulled up to offer me a lift. I rushed up to the window of the car, carrying our small suit case, feeling very relieved that I had a lift, but at the same time anxious as my brother was still in the pub. I said to the driver cheekily would he mind waiting a minute, as my brother needs a lift as well. The driver was fine and said OK. How ever to my surprise and amazement I realised whom the driver was it was Pete Townshend, the lead guitarist of The Who. Of course that made our day. By this Time Michael had arrived and we both squeeze into the front seat of Pete's Jaguar. We told him who we were and that we were off to Bedford to their gig at the Corn Exchange.

    As we drove into Bedford we stopped and Pete asked me to ask some girls the directions to where The Who were playing. Sure enough they knew and pointed us in the direction of the Corn Exchange. It was a great evening.

    The Bubble Car

    The bubble car belonged to David Ness of Chiltern avenue in Aylesbury, who had been given it by his brother. There was only one thing wrong with it. We had to bump start it as the starter motor did not work. (Push it and the put it in gear as it was moving).


    David's Issetta Bubble Car

    David's Issetta Bubble Car

    In this vehicle we had many adventures because we were liberated from the two- wheeled scooter and could cram four people in this vehicle, if we wanted. Neither of us had passed our driving test to drive a normal car but I had past my test to drive a motorbike and my license allowed me to drive the three-wheeler bubble car. We were able to carry blankets spare clothing etc. all in the dry. We carried all that we needed for a night out in that case. It was ideal for catching girls. The front opened up and it could be driven with the front door open. All we did was drive up to the bird we wanted to catch and stop in front of her. Open up the door and drive forward. She had no option but to fall in and we would drive off. It was questioned was any girl safe with us around.

    On one occasion we set off to Margate, on one Bank holiday. This was a custom amongst our generation of Mods. We all seemed to migrate to Yarmouth or Margate or Brighton. This was Whitsun bank holiday 1967 and Mod and Rocker riots were common. On this trip to the coast my brother was true to form he had borrowed a

    0.22 Webley air pistol from Pat Jones and was determined to have a good time. He had fired the occasional pop shot at one or two girl’s bottoms, which cause many amusements to us all. This was not what I would have normally done because I remember how shocked I was at 11 years old a boy having air gun fights in the

    woods on the way home from school. I thought then how dangerous and stupid it was. However her was my brother older than I acting fearlessly. I just went along with it suppressing my natural cautiousness.

    As we past through the various towns in London the air pistol was used to cause alarm. (As I write I shrivel up at the thought of what was done) We found it amusing to shoot at ladies bottoms as their reactions of shock was funny. As we passed through Lewisham several people must have reported the mystery air gun shooter and at least one lady was wounded.

    Traffic police on route to Margate stopped us. These men briefly searched our car but found nothing suspicious and let us go. My brother had hidden the pistol just in time and we did not allow this close shave stop to stop our adventure.

    Persons (girls) bathing at night were targets for our folly and we found it amusing to see and her scream from a female. It was not intended to wound or harm but that really was inevitable.

    During this weekend we moved on to Ramsgate and again moved with a spirit of naughtiness decided to steel a tray of peaches from a fruit and vegetable shop. The bubble car was to be used as the get away car. The shop was half way down a hill with houses on either side of the road, it was decided I should take the peaches and my brother to drive the get away car. I lifted the tray of peaches and jumped in the car as it rolled down the hill making a chug, chug, noise-attracting attention. Naturally we were spotted and reports were made to the police but we did not know this.

    Our foolishness was brought to an end when the same traffic police that had stopped us in London, on the way home, picked us up. I could tell from their faces they had it in for us.

    A quick search of our vehicle revealed a stolen handbag. If only we had go rid off it I thought. Then the air gun pellets and finally the air gun itself. That was it we were arrested the policemen having a snarl on his face and almost laughing as us. We were charge with malicious wounding and two cases of stealing. A woman in Lewisham had been travelling in a side care and been hit in the neck by the air pistol buy my brother.

    I was granted bail but my brother detained in custody. We had decided that I would say I had done the shooting and my brother was a sleep. This was to get my brother off a prison sentence as he had already done two spells in detention centres and two years in Borstal. I had only had a probation order and I had an apprenticeship. I thought I would only get fined but I was wrong.

    Our Mum managed to obtain bail for my brother and we appeared in Kent Quarter sessions several months later.

    On recollection I can remember a prison officer, at the Rochester Borstal, where I had visited my brother a year previously, had said to me that I would be sent to Borstal if I didn’t watch out. I said you must have been joking. I was sent to Borstal just as he said I would be for confessing to this crime. We were charged with malicious wounding.

    On reflection I think my brother was not being a good brother to me. He should not have let me do it.

    Bubble Car blows up

    During the time we were awaiting our court appearance we went one night to Bedford in the bubble car. On the way home the bobble car caught light and blew up as the petrol tank was above the engine. We managed to walk to Woburn Green and decided we would have to sleep the night there. After routing though some ones garage we found an old mattress and blankets and there was a newly piled mound of grass on the village green. This was where we made our bed and it was very comfortable. We put up our umbrella we had rescued from the bubble car and slept soundly until the morning. The police, who wanted to know what we were doing - as if they could not see, waked us up. When we explained the bubble car had blown up they said oh yes they had seen it up the road. So they let us go without any further questions. I arrived at work that morning but was soon to be dismissed because I was due to appear in court and they were not prepared to trust me any more. This was the last of the bubble car as my parents managed to sell it when we got sentenced to prison.

  7. Michael is released from Borstal

    My brother Michael was soon to be released from Borstal and together we were potentially not a good influence on one another as we were always up to some prank or another. I had experimented with chloroform and found it very effective at putting a person to sleep and occasionally I would try it out on a friend or two.

    This effect of chloroform caused a small stir at the local dance in Aylesbury, at the Grosvenor on Saturday night. We attempted to put some girl to sleep. There was no malicious intention but I think some of the girls were terrified as to what may happen to them because of out reputation. We would carry the bottle of Chloroform in a small wooden polished case, which had written on the side “Dr Clarke”.

    On another occasion we went into the cloths shop called Crombie Brothers to see the manager called Terry. They must have heard about the chloroform and my brother suggested to me we try and put him to sleep. This was because we had not been satisfied with a suit, which had been made for me. I saw the terror on his face as we took the bottle out of the case and I persuaded my brother not to go ahead with the idea.

    It was about this time we went and harassed Victor Prince who had made a Crombie over coat for me. I write about this event later on.

    During those days we would do anything for a good time and in particular be on the look out for a good time with the girls. With this in mind we decided to go and visit the girls boarding school in Tring. Not that we meant any harm but just to have a bit of fun. On this occasion we sneaked into the private grounds of this school and managed to get as far as the back entrance without being spotted. We intended to chat up any girl we found.

    The school building was a large mansion with a courtyard at the rear. The back door was open and we simply walked in, when all was clear. We came across a group of girls who just gasped and giggled when they saw us. We then heard the voice of a teacher so we decided we must hide. It was too late we had caused a commotion so we fled down a corridor into a cloakroom. This was a dead end and we had to do something to escape. The teacher was chasing us-who knows who else? There was no alternative but to hide in a sliding cupboard.

    This old school mistress was in hot pursuit and found no one in the cloakroom except the closed cupboard. She was not without sense and so opened the cupboard only to find my brother hiding. As she motioned to come out I was able to sneak out of the other cupboard and tap her on the shoulder and as she turned around my brother nipped out quick and we were off again. Not for long, we ran up a flight of stairs and ended up in a toilet. It was no good we would have to escape before the police came, so we climbed out of a window onto the roof and got down a drainpipe to the outside world. We were free again and without a care in the world walked across the lovely cut lawns, only to find another group of girls with a person we assumed to be the Headmaster. How would we get out of this situation?

    With the boldness on one on legitimate business I walked towards the Headmaster calling out excuse me sir. As he approached me and I got very close I pointed behind him and said look over there. As he turned to look at what I pointed at I shouted and made a roaring noise in his ear. This was meant to distract him and so it did. Then we were off running as fast as we could, only to be met by a police constable riding towards us on his bicycle. He shouted to us, “oh you lads” but we were off as fast as we could, passing through a churchyard and across peoples back gardens. We ended up in laughter, falling to the ground shattered, in some ones back garden, but we were free.

    By now we decided to go back to Aylesbury, as the police would now be looking for us. We decided to catch the bus instead of thumbing a lift, since a police car might just pick us up. How ever we were soon in trouble on this bus. My brother decided to fiddle with the passenger escape door lock, as we were sitting at the rear of the bus. We were not aware that this had caused a warning light to shine in the drivers cab. The bus stopped and the driver came to investigate but he pushed his good fortune when he tried to push my brother off the bus. A scuffle broke out and my brother whipped out a cosh from his belt to lay, into the man. This stopped the scuffle and we decided to leave the bus and thumb a lift back to Aylesbury.

    Canterbury Prison

    When we appeared at the Kent Quarter Sessions court I pleaded guilty to the charges of malicious wounding but my brother pleaded not guilty on all accounts. I was sentenced to Borstal Training, which meant I could do any time between 6 months to two years. That would depend on me to some degree, on how I behaved. My brother was detained in custody until he appeared in court a month later, during which time we were both detained in Canterbury Prison together.

    Our time in Canterbury Prison was in one sense a time of continuous fun and just another of our good times together, even though I had just received an awful sentence.

    Upon arrival at Canterbury Prison we were taken into the reception hall. Here we were with other newly sentenced young persons and being with my brother made it that much easier for me and gave me confidence because he had been to Rochester Borstal and detention centre, on two occasions before and he knew the ropes.

    These young people we met must have been typical of the criminal population of England at the time. In this prison we shared our experiences with others who had been sentenced to three, four and six months and many had already been to approved schools, detention centres and Borstal before. Some were on their second or even third visit to prison. There was an element of excitement and curiosity as to what made people like they were?

    In the reception hall we were issued with prison clothing. Our fingerprints were taken and photographed and we were each given a number. After this the medical officer (all prison officers were called screws) had inspected us and we were taken to our cell (called a Peter). At that time we were three’s up. My brother and I along with a lad from Liverpool were placed in this cell and we were to remain for a few days until

    we were issued work. The cell was approximately 12 ft. by 9 ft. and housed a bunk bed and a single bed. A table chair, water jug and urinal pot.

    At half past six each morning our sleep was broken with a bang on the door and words saying “Slop out”. This meant we had to get up, make up our beds, and empty the urinal pot. We then could get hot water for a wash in a jug for a shave and return to our cell. A razor blade was issued and collected after and then we were banged up until breakfast.

    At breakfast time we were unlocked and had to line up in single file to collect our food. This was served up on a specially shaped metal tray, which was recessed in three places to retain the food.

    A typical breakfast would be a scoop of porridge, four slices of bread, a knob of margarine, a sausage or piece of bacon with beans and a large mug of tea.

    The bread dipped in porridge became one of my favourite meals but on one occasion this practice of dipping bread in my porridge offended one inmate (when I was in Dover Borstal) he expressed he though what I was doing was a disgusting habit. I just ignored him with contempt.

    One of the ways we past time, when locked up in the cell, was to play “Blind Mans Buff”. One of us would be blindfolded whilst the other two crept about and hid from the other while the blind man tried to catch the others. There were all sorts of places to hide in such a small cell. We enjoyed this game we would jump from bed to bed which made the game that much more fun.

    During this time I found time killing boring so I tried to read one ore two books. The books I found I could read were James Bond as these were about my level and the Beano and Dandy comics any other reading would be too difficult to me.

    On the days we were not working, each morning and afternoon we were given exercise. This involved all the inmates walking as a body, around the prison yard. No doubt each prisoner looked at the high walls and every building for a possible way to escape. During this time we could talk with whom we pleased, those that attempted an escape were made to wear yellow patches so they could be spotted easily. These times became a time of communication and formed the prison grape vine.

    On one occasion I decided to change my hairstyle. So during the wash period my brother removed the safety edge from the Government Issue razor and was able to shave my head. It was much easier to wash in the mornings with no hair and much fresher. However I had gone against the prison rules and was put on a Governors Report and put in solitary confinement for a period of time.

    At the meal time it cause an amusing stir and I was to get laughed at when one of the cooks slapped a handful of strawberry jam on my baldhead. After this when my hair grew a little I was able to razor a parting in my hair, which was really the beginning of the hair fashions for the skin head.

    I could not help but notice the various characters and the first points of conversation were “What sentence had you got and what was your crime or crimes”. After this an inquiry would be made as to your previous convictions and prison sentencing.

    Our time at Canterbury came to and end when my brother was found guilty and was sentence to two years prison at the Kent Crown Court.

    I was a witness at his trial and was detained in the cells below the courtroom. When my brother was brought below, handcuffed to a prison officer, I was shocked and disappointed that he had been found guilty. In fact all our plans had come to nothing and I was to do a stretch in Borstal. He was found guilty of malicious wounding as well and sentenced to 2-year prison.

    On that occasion my mother was not allowed to see either of us and we were taken from the cells in Kent back to Canterbury prison that dark wet night. As we approached the prison gate I saw my mum with tears in her eyes out side the prison gate. We both waved and motioned to the prison officer to say she had come to see us and his reaction was, “So what, she can’t see you because you are now prisoners”. She had not got a visiting permit. She had travelled from Kent to Canterbury late that night to try and see us but she was rejected. From that time on we hated that prison officer called Titmouse. He was about 6 foot 7 inches tall. My brother, weeks later, after we were separated laid into this screw because of the hate. He head butted him (nutted) and of course was on a governor’s report and put in solitary confinement. This I heard through the grape vine when I was at Wormwood scrubs awaiting my allocation to Dover Borstal.

    I go to Dover Borstal

    I was moved from Canterbury Prison to Wormwood Scrubs in London, which was a Borstal Allocation Centre. After a period of four weeks it was decided I was to go to Dover Borstal. A closed Borstal called the Citadel.

    For the first time I was on my own and was moved from one cell to another having to share some times with others. I did not really enjoy things here, as it was lonely being on my own.

    We were allowed to go to church on a Sunday, which I did to break the monotony. However I remember being horrified by the fact that one inmate tore a page out of the bible to role a cigarette. This was probably the first sense of me acknowledging the existence of God.

    When at Dover Borstal I was placed in an open dormitory with five other lads. Here I had to learn to survive. There was a 6 foot 6 inch Lad nicked named Tee oh who was bullied mercilessly by a 5 foot 6 spectacled, bottle job, called Vince Bowker. I saw this bullying the moment I arrived and Tee oh was made to do this, does that and he would say yes Vince, no Vince and so one hoping get off lightly. In the end Tee ooh turned and lashed out on Vice Bowker and that put stopped to that. I was determined I was not going to let that happen to me. I stood my own ground whenever I sensed any one try to bully me.

    I was in fact nick named Flash Clarke because I had all kinds of goodies like, cocoa, coffee, milk and sugar and even Ovaltine and had one of the senior green ties make me valentine in the morning.

    One bully, 6 footer, was moved into our dormitory because he had mercilessly bullied another inmate. We got on well until I tied his shoelaces together one morning for a joke but he didn’t see it that way. When he realised it was me he threw these tied shoes at me in anger and this gave me a black eye. As he came at me to hit me I was quick enough to hit him on the jaw, bringing him down to the ground. After that he kept out of my way and the screw that could see my black eye ignored it. I think they must have known how to deal with bullies.

    Whilst at Dover I went on a six months training course, doing Electrical Installations and I worked really hard obtaining top marks every week.

    I use to be rewarded half an ounce of tobacco for coming top of the class and I traded this with an inmate for his ration of milk, each morning, and cornflakes and an egg each Sunday.

    We had to attend church on a Sunday and were would be marched to church in whatever the weather. We would have to be dressed in our best gear after Sunday morning inspection. I can remember I had no sense of respect for God or anything like that. In fact when the vicar A Rev. Whally took us for talks before we were to leave Borstal I can remember ridiculing him in front of all the inmates. I thought it was a huge joke.

    Paternity suite

    Whilst serving my time in Borstal I was served with a summoned to appear in court to answer a paternity suit. A former girl friend was pregnant and I presume the Social Services had made her declare whom the father of the child was, in order to get the finances, but I am not sure as I never spoke to her about it. In fact I do not remember knowing any thing about it until I had to appear in court. The first time in court I admitted I was the father because I could have been, even though I knew she had been with other men. At the time I was ordered to pay maintenance out of my three shillings and six pence a week, at the rate of one shilling and three pence per week. I had not idea of the serious nature of being a father or bringing up children or any idea of taking responsibility for my actions.

    My mother how ever was very anxious and after listening to the evidence given by the girl, she maintained it was not possible for me to be the father, as the timing of the events did not fit. She encouraged me to appeal and she really fought the case for me. This I did and with the aid of a Solicitor the girl had to prove I was the father of the child. When I look back it must have been humiliating for the girl because she had to explain, when and where, these events took place. My defence solicitor asked where the event or events took place. With incredulity he questioned her how could things take place in a bubble car, in the daylight. This I think on reflection was humiliating for her.

    My probation officer asked me many years later, when I became a Christian and had to appear in court over my confessions to many crimes, “Was I the father of the child”; I replied I might have been.

    The child was called David and my mother say’s he had ginger hair. She had seen him out with his mother in Aylesbury whilst I was still in Borstal. He must be around 33 years old now.

    I met all kinds of lads in Borstal, car thieves, burglars, forgers, and gamblers. None of us had any idea for the reason of our existence but were probably looking for the best in life, never finding it.

    When I was released I was determined to have a good time. I wanted the best cloths, a good car, a speedboat, and a caravan. You name it I wanted all these things and intended to obtain them by one means or another. I had learned many criminal ways and had no intention going straight. I just had no intention of getting caught at any crime that I may choose to be involved in.

    My release from Borstal

    I was released a year later and it was during this time I began to get into all kinds of things in Aylesbury.

    I bought my first real car for £100 when I came out of Borstal. It was a gold mini 850 cc.

    I decided to visit my brother who was now in Maidstone Prison and I went to see him when I could. Whilst he was there he met a man from Cyprus who told him some fantastic story, which we both believed. We had ideas of being involved in gold smuggling.

    It led to my brother absconding from prison and being on the run from the law for a year. The Cypriot was offering us the opportunity to make money by smuggling gold. The idea was we had to pretend to be just married, we would have a suitable partner and we would carry the gold strapped under our cloths making out we were newly weds. This would reduce the chances of being stopped by customs and so get the gold through. We were prepared to take the risk. It sounded exciting and that was what I wanted.

    The plan was that when my brother was released on home leave we would go to Greece. We had to a contact in London all set up by the Greek man and take it from there. We were all hyped up but the was no such person or arrangements and we felt really let down.

    However my brother decided he could not face going back to prison so he just did not return. He changed his name to Kenny and managed to stay away from the police for a whole year before being picked up whilst working on a building sit in Aylesbury.

    At this time I was doing a Government training course in Enfield Middlesex and so my Brother got some work with a shop filling company and worked in London. He decided he would live above the shop, which was near Kings Cross, where they were working and so I was able visit him during the week.

    For a bit of fun one morning we decided to go to the cafe down the road, dressing in our pyjamas and dressing gowns, brining with us our own cornflakes. We went into

    the shop and asked fore breakfast bowls and milk and sugar. This seems a funny thing to do and it all went down well.

    Michael soon got fed up being there on his own so he decided he was leaving. So one night we took all the companies tools and equipment and returned to Aylesbury where our parents lived.

    During this time I renewed friendship with Pat Jones and we did many things together. My brother had got a girlfriend now but I was seeking to have a good time.

    On one occasion I showed Pat Jones the powerful effect of chloroform and knocked him out so he was unconscious. Moved by my strange sense of humour I cut several chunks of hair from his head and when he came too he had no idea what I had done. I found it a great fun when I took him home and saw his mother's face. Of course he had no idea what she was upset about. I just left and got out of the way laughing to my self.

    It was after this that Pat Jones got the first skinhead hair cut in Aylesbury. No one would normally cut all their hair off; it just was not the fashion at that time. He did it and I was proud of him. I am sure he set the trend of the Skinhead fashion.

  8. Skinheads, Greasers at Yarmouth

    On one bank holiday weekend in 1969, when I was working for Radio Rentals at Hemel Hempstead, Pat Jones and I decided to go to Yarmouth and meet with the Aylesbury Mods and skinheads.

    I took my firms Ford van so we could sleep in it at night. On this particular weekend I was sleeping in the back of the van on that Sunday afternoon and Pat Jones was out with some of the lads. They had a run in with a crowd of Greasers.

    Greasers were motor bikers who would fight with knives and motorbike chains. It was a very similar to the Mods and rockers movie you see in the film Quadrophenia. They were the sworn enemies of skinheads.

    This company of Greasers had come across Pat Jones and his crowd when out on the sea front in Yarmouth and they were combing the area for skinheads to pick a fight with. There were too many of them and Pat Jones and the crowd were on the run and I was happily asleep in the back of the van quite safe. Or I would have been had not Pat Jones come running up to the van shouting and screaming to get out and run or do some thing. He ran off just having just called attention to these Greasers. As I looked up and came too and looked out of the van window I could see a crowd of Greasers grinning and running towards the van. They knew they now had a victim in a white Ford van. I was concerned it was the firms van so had to get away. There wasn’t much I could do so I locked the doors quickly and jumped into the driver's seat hoping to drive. Unfortunately I was awkwardly parked. As I tried to start the engine a great whack came from the roof of the van. The van was hit a number of times with motorbike chains and I heard shouts of glee. Then they began to rock the van seeking to turn it over. They lifted it and rocked it as I tried to drive forward then backwards. I must have hit one or two as I managed to get away in time for a beating. That was all thanks to Pat Jones.

    This how ever was all part of our fun getting into scrapes of one kind or another. On the way home that week end we decided to tow a four wheeled bike back to Aylesbury, so I got Pat Jones to ride the bike whilst we towed this bike all the way from Yarmouth to the outskirts of Norwich, before deciding to lead it outside a pub as I began to realise we would be captured by the police going through London. I was all good fun though and it made us laugh.

    Newquay Here we come

    It was the summer of 1968, shortly after my brother had been released from prison and I had served time in Borstal. We had decided to go on a holiday. He had become friendly with a girl called Karen Mead but that did not stop our plans. We were going to go off with no plans to return. My brother had a nice red Bedford, long, wheel base van. This was fitted out with out equipment to live and we fitted a double mattress on the roof with a tarpaulin like tent. This was to be our sleeping arrangements. It was decided we would make our way to Newquay in Cornwall as I remembered going there with my parents when I was 16 years old. That year the sun

    was hot, the surfing was good and a really nice summer. We were off to seek the sun.

    Our first mischief that we planned but fail to do was the stealing of a speedboat moored in the water at Barnstable. That evening we had planned to swim out to the boat and cut its moorings and float it down river to load on a trailer. It was later that afternoon that we borrowed tools from a workshop and got some welding done and made a tow bar for the van. We needed a tow hitch to drive away with the stolen speedboat and trailer that night.

    All went to plan until that night when we got the trailer ready but when we looked at the cold dark water, it being pitch black, we both lost out bottle and decided to call it off. We left Barnstable disappointed.

    Our first bit of work, which we did, was to work in “The Gull Rock Hotel” in Newquay. I was a waiter and my brother was a kitchen porter. I had never been a waiter before but soon picked it up. We were given sleeping quarters but we soon realised this kind of work and life was not what we wanted. The hours were unsociable. So the next morning we decided not to go to work just stay in bead. We made a huge joke of it and expected to get the sack.

    Sure enough we were knocked up when it was realised we were late but still we did not surface. When we decided to get up we went to the chef believing we had got the sack and so to collect or pay. To my surprise they hadn’t sacked us but had just thought we had too much to drink the night before and were prepared to over look the sleep in. I said no we would leave and we each got the £1 each we had earned for the day's work.

    In or mischief we went back to the sleeping quarters the next day where the girls were sleeping and jumped into bed with two of the girls. They didn’t want this really and made a bit of a protest but before we left the manager's wife had been informed and came to see what was happening. As she came into the bedroom we were seen in bed with Angela, the chambermaid. The manageress screamed, “Oh Angela how could you”. The girl got the sack and I felt really bad about that afterwards.

    Shortly after this we decided to rob a petrol station to get some money. My brother tried to disguise him self by wearing a long girls wig but this made him stand out even more because he was flat chested and had no hips like a woman and this attracted attention rather that do the opposite. That was discarded so I decided I would take the money. When the attendant was looking after a motorist I crept up to the till and took the notes and ran away behind some building. Then quickly dressed in an old overall coat and then walked slowly away with being noticed.

    In the end I noticed my brother writing to his girl friend and somehow we decided to return home.

    After this I began to spend time with Pat Jones as my brother got more involved with his girl friend. Pat Jones and I got into all kinds of things, which I will mention later on. I was 20 years old and he was just 16 years so he began to learn many things off me, all which was probably bad for him.

    It was after this I managed to get a job with Radio Rentals in Hemel Hempstead.

    This was a good job and at 20 years old I was the only Colour TV Engineer in the Hemel Hempstead branch and with a company car.

    Our trip to Shoreham

    About this time we went on a sailing trip to Shoreham near Brighton. This weekend we were invited to go sailing with Ken and Grace Knight. I took Mary Bilton a girl friend of mine, Bernie Gilbert and Alison Knight. Whilst we were there Mrs Knight went off to stay with a Christian friend in Brighton. Not that I knew that at the time I just thought she did not like sailing and it was a Sunday and she wanted to go to church.

    We were all invited back to this Christian mans home he was called Tom and was a manager of an insurance company in Brighton. This afternoon he sat and talked to us all about the bible. I was almost convinced by his talk and began to believe there was more to the bible message than I had ever really liked to admit before. He told us about the history of the Jews and all future events. It was all foretold in the scripture. The history of Israel was recorded and the return of the Jews to the land of Israel in 1967 was clearly a sign of the last days.

    I was very impressed at what he said and began to tell my friends at college the next week all about it. This made me try reading some parts in Deuteronomy about the curses, which would come upon the Jews if they forsook Moses Law.

    Bad reputation- Sex Maniac

    I have already mentioned that I had no intention of finding a girlfriend for a relationship or friendship. My only interest was for my sexual pleasure. That was all I looked for. I soon found that I had gained the reputation, along with my brother, as being a sex maniac. On one occasion however (and let any girl learn from this) I was put in my place by a girl from Princess Risborough after I had I taken her home and wanted to have my way with her. She calmly stated she was not going to allow me to do as I wanted and asked why I did not respect girls and why not considers her feelings and have a proper relationship with a girl. I was put in my place and began to think she was right.

    Pat Jones and the bully

    At this time Pat Jones was in his final year at school and he informed me of a bully who would relentlessly give him grief at school. The school was the Grange Secondary Modern School in Aylesbury. The school I had attended until June 1966.

    One day at the evening youth club, held at the school, I decided we would sort this bully out so I instructed Pat ‘ Bones” to do as I said. I was dressed in my long Crombie over coat, which my mum had altered for me, and inside I kept a large long rubber torch, which was ideal for use as a cosh. Not too hard to break the skull and not too soft to do no harm. Just about right to knock some one on the head and possibly knock them out.

    This was the plan. We were to go to the youth club and search out this bully. The Grange youth club was held behind the school buildings in some prefabricated

    buildings. It was early evening and not too dark and a few people were around. Here we looked out for the bully. I gave Pat Jones the large rubber torch and said to him when he sees the bully he must call out to him, “ Come here” and walk towards him. When he came right up close he was to shout at him the words, “ I have had enough of your nonsense and if you don’t watch out I am going to set Dave Clarke on to you”. He was then to point in the direction away from him so at to make him turn around and say’ “ look he is over there”. When he turned around he was to hit him on the head, as hard as he could with the torch. Then say, “ Now I am going to do it again and roar at him.

    The plan went perfectly. We saw the bully, dressed in a blue Denim Jean jacket, and had slight ginger hair. I am sure his nickname was Ginger. I had never met him before. Pat Jones shouted out to him and sure enough the bully came walking like a gorilla with his arms swinging by his side. Almost running to get at Pat Jones eager to get him. I was happy because this was where he was going to get the treatment. Pat did exactly as instructed. He said look over there and as he turned around Pat walloped this bully hard on the head. Every eye was on the two in conflict. The bully was stunned and his hands went up to his head to hold it as it hurt. Then Pat shouted at him to say he was going to give it to him again and sure enough the bully ran away as predicted. I encouraged Pat to chase after him to make sure he now knew his place. Every one looking looked on in amazement.

    From that day forward Pat Jones had no more trouble from the bully. I felt quite satisfied in dealing this way with the bully.

    How would Jesus have us deal with bullies today? This is a real problem to parents in a world of violence like to day. I was not a Christian but this remedy actually worked in Pat Jones’s case.

  9. Conversion from crime to Christ

    Having experienced many things in my life I began to think about life and its meaning. I could recall the absolute emptiness of my soul after going out for the evening and one evening when and returning home it thought about it. All was empty I asked myself what was the point to it all. I was seeking an answer to life, the universe and every thing.

    A Bad LSD Trip

    The following is an account, taken from memory and notes, made of my experience of conversion to Jesus Christ on Friday the 16th of January 1970.

    Towards the end of 1969 I was continuing my studies at Luton College, learning Radio and Television Servicing. We would often engage in discussions in class and it was quite easy to divert our lecture onto subjects like spiritualism and the like. We would discuss what we would do if another world war were to come. We would discuss the future as portrayed by Nostradamus, drugs and our experience. At that time I was informed of a new film called Easy Rider and I wanted to see it. On one occasion I obtained some hashish, mixed with opium, and smoked this during our break from class. This was so effectual I made use of the sick room to sleep and enjoy the illusionary effects of the drug, which amused my student friends.

    On a later occasion in January, 1970 I had obtained 4 tablets of LSD from a Peter Coppenhall, a friend from Bedford, he was also one of my fellow students at Luton College. I decided to take these tablets the following Friday night.

    On this Friday, the 16th of January, my brother and I decided to take half a tablet each and Pat Jones had a quarter. He was a close friend of mine (he was only just 16 years old) and for some time I use to think of him as my apprentice. I taught him all my bad ways. There was little we did not do together. I had known him whilst he was at school and encouraged him in crime, sniffing chloroform, smoking (marijuana, hashish, weed etc.) drunkenness, violence and permissive sex. He was known amongst our friends as “Bones”, Patrick Bones.

    My brother was going out that night with his girl friend Karen Mead so Pat Jones and I decided to walk up town and not risk driving for we did not know the effect of this drug. I was dressed in my old clothes deliberately for I did not know what might happen too us. We tried to thumb a lift but eventually caught a bus and got off at the bottom of the High Street in Aylesbury. As we walked past the “pictures” I noticed the film “Easy Rider” was being shown so we decided to go and see it. We decided to take some one else with us, some one who was in their right state of mind, so we went up the billiard hall and found Bernie Gilbert and Mike Ellis, but they said they would only come if they could have some acid as well. I decided this was OK and so we got a taxi back to my house to get the rest of the Acid. Bernie had half a tablet and Mike Ellis the other quarter. So all four of us were about to trip on acid whilst watching the film Easy Rider. We arrived back at the “picture” about 8.45 PM and I fumbled a bit for my ticket as the acid had begun to take effect. Bernie and Mike

    suggested we go and sit up in the balcony but I thought to my self what if we decide to jump off? I was tripping now and just followed them up stairs. We sat two in front and two behind but Mike and Bernie’s trip had not yet begun as they acted and spoke normally.

    I did not realise how tripped I was until the film had finished, in fact the film records Peter Fonder and Dennis hopper actually on an LSD trip. During the film the acid had taken me on a very pleasant trip in time with the music, it was almost as if the film crew had deliberately filmed the film for me. They seamed to know how to give the correct lighting and sound effects. How ever Bernie and Mike seemed to be jumping about all over the place and it was irritating. I still was sitting in my seat when all the film had finished and the people had gone, before I decided there was nothing more to do. So we decided to get up and go but Mike and Bernie were annoying me because they were mucking about.

    All my thought and feelings began to reverberate four times over and my thought patterns were being reflected and at the same time building and snowballing.

    We walked outside the cinema and I said to the boys, “Man you are all on the wrong scene you can’t be turned on”. Then I heard Mike and Bernie say he’s turned into a wizard (Hippie) and there was a clubroom for wizards like me (The Dark Lantern Pub, in Aylesbury). I then began a downward trip, which ended in the horrors. I began to feel paranoid thinking they were now sorry for me and were being polite in hiding their feelings from me.

    As we went further up the road Mike Ellis asked if I wanted a scrap with some blocks across the street. It was as if he was testing me out to see if I was the same person he knew. I said no I didn’t. I thought they had thought I had gone mad and they wanted to test me out. We went further up the high street and Bernie began to mess about and pull faces at me and make noises. I hid in a shop door way and told him to stop it and Pat Jones pulled Bernie away saying, don’t do it as he didn’t understand. My horror began when I could not face the thought that they thought I had cracked up and gone mad. This feeling was too much for me to bear. More was to come.

    We decided to go to the Green Man pub (may be the crown) and as we were going in a chap came up to me and spoke to me. I was out of my mind by now, with this feeling of paranoia, and could not speak sensibly and I came out with a load of nonsense, so I had to say quickly to this chap I was drunk because I didn’t think he would understand other wise.

    I then saw my brother sitting with his girl friend in the pub and I went up to him and told him what was happening. He laughed and motioned to me saying he was going to wind me up like a clockwork toy and he did. My mind began to distort so much so that I had to run out of the pub to get away. Pat Jones followed me and I kept thinking the others were following us. I kept looking back as I didn’t want them following me because they were annoying me. We left the Green Man and walked towards Mount Street, via Rockford’s Hill and along Friarage Road. On the way down the road it seemed like a scene from a picture book and was like Alice in Wonderland with all the street lamps lit up.

    The torment of my mind had grown so much that I could not bear the pain but I could not get rid of the torment. Ken and Grace Knight lived at Mount Street so we I went down there with no real aim. And as I arrived just outside their house Jock Macallion, another friend of mine, was about to leave and drive off. I jumped in besides him and told him about my situation. After telling him I was tripped out of my mind I was thinking he would take me home and as I was about to ask him he said, “Dave you are a worried man”. I knew this and I now thought so did every one else and being told that did not help me at all. My mind was about to blow so I had to run again. I jumped out of the car and into 24 Mount Street where Ken and Grace lived. I wanted to escape and so I told them my plight but I could not explain to them what was happening to me. Grace Knight recalled she thought I was in serious trouble and began to question me. This didn’t help so I had to say forcefully I must have peace so they took me out to the summerhouse to lie down in peace.

    No one seemed to understand the torment of mind I was in and no one could help me at all. I told Mrs Knight to leave me alone to work it out on my own and let me lie down alone. Then the torment got worse. I knew it was only the LSD doing it but I could do nothing about it. I would have to wait till it had taken its course. I thought it could be 12 hours or so but to me each moment seemed like an eternity of torment and I could not endure this any more. I lay down and tried to settle my mind by thinking good thoughts and different things but my mind would not be controlled. The thought came, “ I may be driven to kill myself, to get rid of the pain”, but I was horrified at the thought and the more I tried to stop thinking like this the more I thought about it. I looked around to see if there was a mirror or glass in the room and wanted to get rid of it just in case I cut my throat or wrists. I just did not know what to do I was at the end of my self. I learned afterwards that I experienced paranoiac depression that night, which drove me to despair.

    In this condition it was evident I could not help myself. My friends could not help me, my brother had not helped, and so who could help? Mr and Mrs Knight couldn’t help and I could not help myself.

    In this desperation it came to me to call out to God for help. So I cried out calling on the Lords name saying, “Jesus please help me”. At that moment my mind went blank and his name appeared in the imagination of my mind but the torments soon came back again. I called out again and his name appeared twice and the happening repeated. I called four times in all and his name appeared four times and formed a square in complete emptiness.

    I then began to feel emotional and wept but I didn’t know why and at that moment Mrs knight came to the chalet door to see if she could help. It was then that a flood of guilt overcame me. I was convicted of the sin of adultery and did not know what to do. I beckoned Mrs Knight to come in and I said to her did she realise how bad I was and what I had done. I asked her to tell me the way what could I do. Mrs Knight had spoken to me about Christian things and some how I knew she knew the way. Mrs Knight sat down and quoted the scripture saying, “ For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son so that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3 v 16).

    It was then that Jesus spoke to me, I heard his voice as clearly as I am writing this he said, “Dave I am with you, you have been searching for a long time, and this is what our Father says. What you have been going through is nothing compared to what hell is like”. I replied with thanks saying thank you, Jesus thank you.

    Mrs knight thought I was speaking to her she and did not know what was going on.

    It seemed that the words, which Mrs Knight had spoken (the quoted scripture), were in fact the way out and pathway to my escape. It appeared as though I was at the bottom of a pyramid and the words were the way to the top and if I were to follow the words I would escape. I replied thank you Jesus thank you.

    I then thought of hell and my thoughts were about Pat Jones, Bernie Gilbert and Mike Ellis and I said what about the others. Jesus spoke again saying, “ all I could do was tell them”.

    I replied feeling it was an impossible thing to do, how could I convince them, I asked, “What more could I do”. I was feeling the agony of the LSD horrors and knew I wanted to warn my friends of the hell to come. I reasoned within my self they would think I have gone mad on LSD so how could I convince them, I wanted to do more than tell them. I asked what more could I do.

    To answer my question the Lord took me back in time to show me all I could do was tell them. A number of weeks earlier I had reason to read about the curses, which were to come on the children of Israel, if they forsook their God. Deut. 28 v 53. “Thou shall eat the fruit of thine own body. (I knew nothing about the back ground to these things) I thought it was saying people would be so hungry and having no food to eat and a woman would be driven to eat her own after birth. Which of course was shocking. With this in mind, these weeks earlier, I was trying to shock this girl at work. I was working for Radio Rentals, as a Colour TV engineer and I said to this receptionist how would she like to be so hungry to have to eat her own after birth? She responded with expected repudiation, “ How could you say such a thing!” I simply said I hadn’t said it but God had as found inn the bible. This thing repulsed her and she did not want to know anything about what I was saying (Not suppressing). However to this incident Jesus took me and asked me, “ What did the girl do when I spoke to her”? My answer was she shut her ears, as she did not want to know. It was repulsive to her. His reply was to me that, “ if I tell people about Hell and what I had learned and they screw their faces up and do not want to know I could do no more.” The condition of the person listening is not my responsibility but theirs. All I could do was tell them. So tell them I would.

    To these questions Mrs Knight thought I was asking her, because I was speaking aloud, but before she could answer I had been answered directly from the Lord.

    When Jesus stopped speaking I felt as though I was falling back into my torment and I prayed again, “Please don’t leave me”. My reply was, “ I will never leave you”.

    Jesus then questioned me and asked me, “Why boast”. This is because I was naturally prone to boasting amongst my friends, just to make a good impression. I reason within myself and now knew I had no need to boast of anything. So from that day I have always avoided boasting.

    My torment ceased from that time and the rest of the night passed with various thoughts going through my mind. I do not think Mrs Knight was fully aware of what had taken place.

    The next day was Saturday and I was due in to work but I decided to take the day off. I phone in briefly saying I was not up to work.

    What after salvation

    Pat Jones had spent the night in the caravan, parked at the side of the Knight’s home, together with Paddy, who had no where else to live. We spent that day together and I told them both of my experience. I assumed and expected them to fully understand and see what had happened.

    Instinctively things were different with me. An internal change had come about and by it I had new desires. I no longer wished to live as I had lived and wished to be rid of my bad ways. No one told me I had to give up any particular way of life, I knew my promiscuous ways were wrong and was determined not to give in to lust or my high libido drive. I concluded masturbation was wrong because it involved internal visualization of women and as Jesus had once said to look on another woman with lust in the eye, was to commit adultery already. I believed that sex before marriage was wrong, as the bible taught and from that night I abstained from sexual activity until 1978, when I met my wife and married. This was a real battle but I fought the good fight with all my might and with the help of God succeeded. I found within me an internal desire to choose the good and refuse the evil. Upon reflection I say this was the evidence of the new birth and I later found this experience spoken of by the Lord Jesus Christ in John’s gospel. John 3. 16. Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. The Apostle Paul also writes the same in Cor. 5 17. Therefore if any man be in Christ Jesus, he is a new creature: old things are past away; behold all things are become new.

    I knew also there was a part of me which was just the same and when I would do good evil was also present with me. The Apostle Paul in Romans also expressed this. 7 21. I find then a law that when I would do good evil is present with me.

    Whilst this was my experience I found it impossible to convey this to my friends even though I tried ever so hard.

    What to do with stolen Goods

    I had in my possession much stolen property. In fact I had 100’s of pounds worth of stolen property in my possession. No longer was I prepared to live of the benefits of stolen goods. What should I do? I had involved others in my crime of stealing and these could not help me now. In fact Mike West came to see me the next day and when he heard me explaining Jesus had spoken to me he began to fear I might go to the police and confess my crimes. I did not actually say to him I wanted him to return the TV set, which I had stolen and swapped for his Citroen car but he was concerned, as he did not know what to think.

    Poor Mike he must have panicked thinking I was about to go to the police, as he was concerned about some of the stolen goods I had left in his garage. There was a stolen mini engine and sub chassis. I don’t remember what happen to these parts but I asked Mike to dispose of them. I was later informed they had been dumped in the reservoir.

    That Saturday evening both Pat and I decided to go to the social club at Park Street.

    This was the usual thing for us to do on a Saturday night. I had determined to go and see my mates to explain what had happened to me. We walked down there but did not go in. After seeing one or two people I broke my news to them. I cannot remember what I said. I had no desire to stay so went back to the Knight’s home. My inclination to live it up as normal was no longer with me. I now seemed at a loose end not knowing what next to do. From that time forward Pat Jones began to realise things had really changed for me.

    The next day, being Sunday, Mrs Knight took both Pat Jones and I to the local Baptist Church in Southcourt, in the evening. I can distinctly remember the passage of scripture the preacher spoke from. It was in Exodus where the whole nation of Israel was about to enter the Promised Land. However they listened to the evil report of the 10 spies and did not take heed to the voice of the two good spies. Who gave encouragement to go in and posses the land? I can remember also I saw, whether he preached this of not, that this was a picture of the body of Christ, the church, of that day.

    After the meeting Mrs Knight introduced me to a Martin White who gave me a copy of the New Testament, called the Good News for modern man. I began to read this straight away. This I received gratefully and began to read it every day.

    I seek to tell others

    The following days were spent in the after glow and certainty of this new life that had opened up to me. I thirsted for knowledge, the knowledge of God in Jesus Christ. I told the folk at work about my experience and could not remain silent about the things I was learning.

    My evenings were spent at Mrs Knights home discussing the scripture with some of her Christian friends. Both Pat Jones and Paddy all seemed interested to hear.

    I am now amazed at my own ignorance then, for until I had read the scripture for my self I did not know what the Acts of the Apostles meant. Within two weeks I had read the New Testament and thought I understood it all. I soon learned from the scripture that in the economy of Salvation it was the blood of Jesus Christ, shed on the cross at Calvary that was the means of me obtaining a free pardon for all my sins and also me being given free righteousness to justify me before God.

    In this respect the Lord Jesus was a true substitute and he died for me without cost at all to me. These were the things, which I learned and as it were drank in like water from the well of salvation. I learned them by reading the scripture and did not know them from the night Jesus spoke to me. I attended college that week but there was a difference. I had decided I would not dress in my usual clothes. Levi jeans, white boots with red toe caps (or whatever colour I chose to spray them), a Ben Sherman

    shirt and loose leather jerkin I felt I must not only be more sober but dress more sober as well i.e. not to show off as I us to do.

    So I dressed in my best trousers, which were from my Prince of Wales cheque suite, shirt and normal pull over and normal shoes. Of course I had to tell all my friends about my experience. I protested to them look I even dress differently. They did not believe me. I told one of the lectures, Mr Jones, in front of them all but I was just given a smile of wonder.

    That same week I felt constrained to go and tell my friend Rupert, a West Indian from Jamaica. He lived in a room, at 14 Bicester Road, Aylesbury, so Pat Jones and I went to see him. As soon as I met him I told him what had happened in front of his new girl friend but Rupert’s reply was, “ I told you Dave not to take LSD “. Again they were none plus they could not believe even though I tried my best to convince them.

    What does one do with stolen goods?

    It was now wrong for me to continue in the way of life that I had lived in the past. My back was now turned from the world that I once held dear too and had built for myself. A world of self-seeking (ones own glory) asserting self, stealing, adultery, fornication, drug taking, drug selling, boasting, drunkenness, violence and worldly ambition. I say worldly ambition because I believe we all have worldly ambition but when we are converted and come to Christ we are called to forsake it. We all have our own worlds that we live in, some have religious worlds to turn from, some have ordinary lives and are part of the natural world but we all must turn from our world to Christ and follow him.

    I now had an inward and real desire not to continue in those ways, which I have just mentioned for they just perpetuated my former sinful self, of which I had had enough. A change of heart had taken place. That is not to say I could not be tempted to find pleasure in such sins there was a part of me still the same but I had a desire to put to death sinful thoughts and actions. Should I allow wrong affections to move me I was self-condemned with an accompanying self-abhorrence and I knew was not pleasing to God. By the grace of God I was able to resist and fight against sin.

    I was now moved by a new set of principles but herein lay a problem. I had erected a 48-foot by 12-foot wooden, builder’s shed, on waste ground belonging to the Water Board, next door to the Knight’s home, at 24 Mount Street. This became my garage and workshop. I had stolen the builders shed from a building sight in Berkhampstead. I had persuaded Mr Knight to drive his lorry whilst me, Pat Jones and Paddy, lifted the shed panels from the building sight onto Ken’s lorry, late one night.

    In this shed was my newly acquired Citroen car, which had formally belonged to Mike West of Wendover. I had swapped it for a colour TV that we had stolen from old peoples home called Redlands, in Winslow. I had some lovely garage equipment which included a trailer, ark welder, trolley jack, air compressor, spray guns, tools, speed boat engines even a stolen car and various other items all of which by one means or another I had stolen or burgled.

    What could or should I do now. I was responsible for all this stuff

    Conscience would not permit me to continue to make us of all this stolen gear. What should I do? Should I just dispose of it all and brush the past behind me? How should I dispose of it if I decide to do so? I could not sell the goods for what would I do with the money. Conscience would not allow me to use it.

    I had in fact so much stolen property go through my hands, which had been disposed of by one means, or another none of it could be recovered anyway. I had only just stolen a nice new Mini car, which was about to be used to make me a lovely new car. The body had been cut up and disposed of the parts were in my parent garage in Finmere Crescent Aylesbury. (Whilst cutting up the body with the arc welder the hydrolytic suspension fluid caught light and nearly burnt the car and garage to pieces).

    I had also another stolen Morris Minor Traveller, which I had swapped the number plates and disposed of the old body. This was and used as a hire car.

    I think on reflection with hindsight and the faith I now have in God I would have been able to act differently than I did.

    I was able during this time to return one or two stolen items. Late one wet night in February 1972 Pat Jones and I load the trolley jack into my firm van. I am not quite sure what Pat Jones thought about all this but I drove up to the garage from where I had originally stolen the trolley jack and parked on the forecourt. The garage had been closed for the night (next to the Broad Leys on the Wendover Road, Aylesbury) and whilst no one was about I opened the van door and swiftly and quietly lifted the jack and placed it down on the forecourt. We then drove off as fast as we could. I often wondered what did the owner think when it was returned several months later.

    I had no real advisers, nor any one who really knew the depths of my crimes and the amount of acquired stolen goods I had. I was faced with this problem what ever happens to me was no real concern but I did not feel I could involve others and get them into trouble.

    Mike West was very fearful in case I confessed all to the police and he must have been puzzled by what was going on.

    I had hoped he would have offered me the colour TV back and I would have given him the Citroen back but he wished to keep the Colour TV, so I gave him the Citroen. Any way a I felt I could not use it.

    Hippies in the Shed

    Pat Jones began to acquire new friends and some were what we called hippies. They smoked pot, took drugs and generally did nothing but think about life etc. We invited them down to Mount Street as I felt it would be right to speak to the about Jesus. About five or six came and they ended up sleeping in the shed.

    Whilst trying to speak the gospel to them I saw no real effect so I was disappointed. Perhaps one day I will see some fruit. I felt it OK to use the shed to house the hippies. About six lived in the shed for a number of weeks until they moved on. I thought I was putting it to good use.

    My problems were solved by an intervention of God and his hand was clearly seen by all one year later.

    It came by the knock this is the knock on the door from the CID when I was arrested for steeling the colour TV set from “Redlands” old peoples home in Winslow. This is where I began at the introduction to this story.

  10. Going to Church

    During the first few weeks after my conversion to Christ in February 1970, which I would like to describe as my new life, there was a series of meetings held at Limes Avenue Baptist Church. The person speaking was a Mr Lance Pibworth from Bedford, and a girl called Geraldine Dunbar was being baptised. It was to this girl that I was later engaged to be married to.

    After the meeting a man informed the congregation that if any one wanted to talk about any thing, or ask questions about what had taken place, they could stay behind and ask. On this occasion I had brought Pat Jones and Paddy along to the meeting and I was dressed in my overalls and leather jacket, which I always wore when working on cars - I wasn’t dressed up at all and was aware that because of the way I was dressed we may not be taken seriously. However I knew that God did not look on the outward appearance even though man may do so. Any way it did not bother me that we were not dressed for the occasion. I asked to see the minister Mr Sibthorpe after the meeting and we three were invited into his study. I explained to Mr Sibthorpe about my conversion and wanted him to confirm to my friends that what I was saying to them was true. I expected him to baptise me there and then. I was under the impression, from reading the scripture, that any minister or Christian, was under the direct command of Christ to baptise any new believer as soon as they believed. I was very disappointed that I was not baptised that night. I knew nothing of church membership, modes of baptism, doctrinal distinctions and the like, only that I wanted to be baptised.

    Shortly after this I met a man called Charley Tweedy, of the Church of Christ, which met at Stoke Mandeville Road, Aylesbury. He maintained that unless you are baptised you couldn’t be saved. He held some kind of responsible position in this Church so I explained to him about my conversion and he gave me his telephone number to ring him if I needed help. I knew he was wrong about baptism but felt constrained to speak to him as I reasoned according to him, that ''I shall be damned if I died that day, as I am not baptised”. I felt the need to reassure him that this was not the case and he need not worry about me. When I spoke to him on the telephone he seemed nonplussed, but not moved with concern that I was not yet baptised. Again I was disappointed. This was just one of the many examples of doctrinal errors in the Christian world that I was to encounter.

    I had not been accustomed to go to any particular church but I went to a Sunday night meeting with Mrs Knight to the Assemblies of God, Pentecostal Church, meeting at Richford’s Hill and Pastor Baker was the minister. Here I was received without any question and he made me feel welcome. This was also the church, which Cyril Bryant attended. He was the man who had written on my behalf to the Magistrates Court.

    On one occasion at this church meeting I was asked to give an up- to -date testimony as to the Lords dealings with me. So dressed as I was, in my working cloths (overalls), not knowing the difference between working days or Sabbath days, I went

    to the front and gave a clear and detailed account as to how I had combated the devil's suggestion to steal a car battery that week.

    Bugger off Satan

    I had some trouble with my car battery and I needed a new one. The temptation was enormous. Here I was passing Adam’s Garage, on the Tring Road, in need of a car battery and just over the fence, belonging to the garage, were several car batteries. All I had to do was nip over the fence and help my self to a nice new battery. This was the way I had thought in the past and I would have done just that at one time. This kind of thinking was the old man, which I had to continually combat and I knew Satan had a hand in this matter. To avoid this temptation I rebuked the devil and told him to clear off, in Jesus name. On that occasion I told them the exact language I had used to the devil. I said to the devil, “Bugger off Satan”. I was quite unaware of the bad language that I had used and several years later Barry Crown reminded me that Cyril Bryan gently reproving me for my speech on that day. I did not know that I had said any thing amiss and was unaware that I had even been reproved for using bad language on that occasion. I don’t think I knew what the word meant any way.

    I am baptized

    I knew from the Scripture that I should be baptised and I expected Pastor Baker, of the Assemblies of God Church, to command me to be baptised. I knew this was the command of Jesus and it signified the new birth, which I had already experienced. It also symbolised my union with the Lord Jesus Christ in his death and his resurrection. The truth was that through his death I was to reckon myself dead to sin and my former sinful ways, and that by his resurrection I was to reckon myself risen to the newness of life, which is in him. No one spoke to me about being baptised.

    At that time, shortly after the Limes Avenue meetings, I was taken to another group of Christians, meeting at Fleet Street, in Aylesbury. They met in a large shed. These were West Indians and the Pastor was Mr Bruce, from Luton. This group also were having a series of meetings leading up to baptism. I heard they had permission to use the baptistery at Limes Avenue Baptist Church, so I asked Pastor Bruce to baptise me. He said he would and asked me to attend baptism classes that week held at his meeting hall, along with other people who were being baptised

    I did not know what this was all about but presumed it was to make sure the person being baptised knew what it was all about. I was not told that after the baptism I was expected to join the church that met in Fleet Street.

    I was baptised (dipped or immersed) upon the confession of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, early one Sunday morning, at 7.00 a.m., at Limes Avenue Baptist Church. My friends turned up, Pat Jones, Paddy, Paul Brooks, Mrs Knight and Mrs Chapski. Pastor Bruce baptised me in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, according to the command of our Lord Jesus Christ. Matth. 28. 19.

    I say this because I had met some who were teaching that baptism was only valid if it was administered in the name of Jesus. The reason is that they say the name of the Father is Jesus and the name of the Son is Jesus and the name of the Holy Spirit is Jesus. Gordon Smith of Albert Street informed me of this and said that some

    considered it was necessary to be re baptised again in the name of Jesus only and that all other baptisms were invalid. Their reasoning and their stress upon the singular name of Jesus only, to the exclusion of the Father and Spirit, did not impress me, for Jesus had commanded baptism to be performed in the name of all three persons. This was just another doctrinal error I had encountered.

    I knew that as far as I could discern from Scripture a man could be dipped, ducked, dragged, drenched, soaked, sprinkled or dribbled with 10 thousands of gallons of water and it would make not a scrap of difference to his spiritual state. Baptism could not effect the new birth, remove sin, or make a natural man into a spiritual man, for that was the sole prerogative of Him that proceeded from the Father and the Son and was sent by the Son. John 15. 26. The new birth being the effect, not of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man but of God alone. John 1. 13. Therefore Baptism itself could not save a sinner.

    Baptism in the Spirit

    I soon realised there were few churches in Aylesbury, which believed that Baptism in the Holy Spirit was a distinct experience from being born again. I had no reason to doubts this and took it as a truth revealed in the Scripture.

    I had no problem with this, as that was how I had read the Bible. I actually felt I was baptised in the Spirit when I first believed and when Jesus spoke to me the only thing I seemed to lack was the speaking in tongues. This had not happened.

    I remember speaking to Mr Sibthorpe, the pastor of the Strict Baptist Church, at Limes Avenue, about these things and he gave me an article that was written by John Stott who denied the Baptism in the Spirit, as I knew it. I was amazed at the way these people twisted and wriggled out of what God had plainly spoken about in the bible.

    I first began speaking in tongues in my sleep. I had a dream and saw people worshipping the Devil as he sat on a throne, in the midst of a fire. These people were over the other side of a wall. I was so moved with indignation, like David who heard that Goliath had defied the armies of the living God; in my dream I jumped over the wall and commanded them to stop what they were doing, in the name of the Lord. The devil then looked at me in anger and came towards me. I then was frightened. I cannot remember the outcome of this dream, or whether it was another meeting, but afterwards I spoke in tongues and Pastor Baker, of the Assemblies of God Church, gave an interpretation to what I had said. This happened in my dream.

    It was shortly after this Sunday, at the morning meeting at Rick fords Hill, that I was praying in a time of open prayer and I felt free to pray and I gradually opened my mouth and it all came out. I felt inside me that I was like a can of Coca-Cola that had been shaken slightly and the ring pull, pulled. My tongue was loose and a flow of words, in another tongue came forth. It came from the belly and over flowed out of the mouth. I felt fulfilled and was praising God.

    At that time I read as much as I could because this experience was not recognised by any other group of Christians, apart from the Elim Pentecostal Churches. The best book I read at that time was by Derek Prince and called, “From Jordan to

    Pentecost”. This gives a very clear and biblical position about the Baptism in the Spirit.

    The Christian Life

    Being converted unto Christ was by no means an outward imposed principle. I was not under a set of rules devised by man. I was not under any kind of legal fear to serve God, or obey a rule, which says do this and you will be OK. There was no rest in any form of doing good works. It was in fact the rule of faith. It was to walk by faith, without which it was impossible to please God.

    I was what the scripture describes, a “new man”, with an inward desire to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. The Scripture expressed this as God writing His laws upon the fleshly tablets of my heart. Heb. 8. 10- 13.

    I began to read the Bible straight away; still ignorant of its contents and very soon the principle points of the gospel became very clear to me. These were: the divine nature or deity of Jesus Christ; hell was real just as heaven was sure; that Adam and Eve were real and our first parents. I learned that through their fall we are all fallen creatures and are in need of salvation. I learned about the need for the shed blood of Jesus Christ to remove sin. I learned that salvation and the forgiveness of sins were received by faith alone, without works done by us. We were not under the Law of Moses, as the Jews were, but under Christ Jesus’ rule. It was His law, the gospel of love and grace.

    I can remember trying to tell one of my friends about following Jesus, saying I didn’t have to give up any thing to become a Christian. I simply found I did not want to do certain things any more. It was not difficult. This lad came up to me sometime after this and I am sure he misunderstood me and in front of several other lads said,'' isn’t it right you don’t have to give up any thing to be a Christian?’’ He was expecting my answer to be no, you can carry on just as you are. However I said that’s right, you don’t have to give up any thing except sin. This silence him and I think they all got the point.

    I learned that Gods way of saving people was through the preaching of Christ and him crucified. I learned that the new birth was a must. What amazed me at that time was the apparent lack of zeal and knowledge of them that had professed faith in Christ for a long time and that how these persons tended to try and entertain people by means of music instead of preaching.

    Every day was the Lords day to me, as I awoke I was conscious of the presence of God, and when I slept, yea even in my dreams. I knew of no distinctions of days such as holy days, or the Sabbath day, for I knew these to be abolished, or fulfilled in Christ. Jesus Christ being the sum and substance of all the Mosaic Sabbaths. He was the body that caused the shadow of Moses Law. Col. 2 16-17.

    On another occasion I was attending the evangelical meetings at Fleet Street Pentecostal church when there was an appeal for money to support the young musicians. The man making the appeal was so moving I felt I ought to give all I could. I reached to my pocket and put in the collection plate all I had. I was giving as

    unto the Lord. I was given to believe it was for the Lords work and it was needed. I was happy to give.

    Shortly after this the same steward, who had collected the money, came back to me from the front of the meeting hall speaking and motioning to me with the roll of notes in his hand saying was I aware how much I had given. I said yes it was OK. It was probably about £200 as I was still use to carrying that sort of money around with me (1970).

    Shortly after this, at another meeting, there was a visiting evangelist called C D Gilbert preaching and he too made similar moving appeals for money. I had also spoken to him about the tattoo on my arm. His appeal for money came with a prophesy saying the Lord had told him that each one had to go to their bank tomorrow and draw 10 per cent of all their money and give it to his fund the next day. It was followed by another vision of an accident that was going to take place if it was not done. At the same meeting he said there was someone in the there that doubted God and they must get off their seat and come forward and if they did not then another warning was issued. I knew because of our previous talk he had me in mind. I also knew his prophecy and visions were not of God but generated to control and manoeuvre people like witchcraft. I opposed this and would have nothing to do with it.

    I even went to Mr Eric Connet and informed him that this type of talk and action was not genuine. Mr Connet was a preacher at the church and had some influence to help correct error.

    I write this for the sake of any that may feel similar pressure, from them who say they are directed by God to require such things. I say that not all that is spoken in the name of Jesus is of God.

    The Lord loves the cheerful giver. The Lord does not need our money. He wants our heart. All that we have is His when this is the case. We are stewards of all that we own. I learned that like the Sabbath there is no Sabbath day, for every day is Sabbath, so with money there is no tithe of 10 per cent but all our possessions are the Lords, not just 10 per cent.

    Doing the work of an Evangelist

    I found it was my natural desire to preach and speak about Jesus to who ever I could. I remember working on a car in Mount Street one Sunday morning and a crowd of street kids, which I knew, were playing around doing nothing. I was dressed in my overalls and leather jacket and I suggested they come with me to church. I decided to take them to a former Brethren Assembly called Granville Street Evangelical Church. I knew all these lads and I realised we were all untidily dressed and that we may not be readily accepted. I knew however the scripture which taught that when you are invited to a meal, take the lowest seat or place in the room. I decide we should adopt this principle so when we were into the hall, part way through the meeting, we slipped in and I beckoned them all to sit down on the floor. This we did without any noise. These lads were Paul Mitchell, Clifford Attlee (Tatty), Michael Clarke and one or two others.

    All the eyes of the congregation seemed to be on me. The meeting was stopped and a man came up and sure enough according to the scripture we were invited to sit on chairs towards the front of the meeting room.

    Later on in that meeting they had what was called the breaking of bread. They were an open communion church and their custom was to allow any believer to partake of the bread and wine. As the bread and the cup passed by they could help them selves. This bread and wine speaks of the death of Jesus till he comes again. On this occasion however when the plate and cup came to our row it was passed by. We were judged as ineligible. I felt upset at this, as the stewards had judged us by an outward appearance and not as God judges. The problem, I suppose, was that I did not dress as a Christian.

  11. Getting a Job

    This was a problem to me but I believed in God I knew that through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ I would be provided for.

    I had been sacked from Radio Rentals for stealing one of their colour Televisions from the old peoples home, in Winslow. All I knew was how to fix televisions and I was qualified to City and Guilds 148. I decided to take the first Job offered me through the labour exchange; this was with a firm called Electroloid, in Aylesbury. I was being employed as a wireman and on the interview the foreman, called Dennis, asked why I had left my former job. I was determined to be honest so I explained I had been dismissed for theft. At this he asked no more questions and I was given the job. I was also able to negotiate for one day off, a week, without pay so I could finish off my college course.

    I soon acquired a good knowledge of the equipment, which I wired up and began to read the circuit diagrams. My knowledge was such that I was able to fault find and develop test equipment.

    Electroloid were a company involved in making equipment for electro plating and the particular equipment I was involved in was making was the controllers, for the automatic dipping of parts which required plating. A microprocessor would now replace the whole control unit.

    I was soon asked to go out on site and trace faults on installed equipment. After six months I had been given the task of commissioning a controller in Southend. This involved doing what ever was necessary to get the new equipment operative. I spent a week away from home and successfully completed my task. I drew diagrams for the owner explaining how to fix things, if things went wrong. The owner of the firm was so pleased he invited me to apply for a job as their maintenance engineer. However I declined the invitation, as I was not ready to leave Aylesbury as I had just found Christian friends. On reflection I perhaps should have gone after the job as I now realise Christians are all around not just in Aylesbury.

    I began to get bored and impatient when I wasn’t trouble shooting, which lead me to act foolishly. I began to experiment with charging lead acid car batteries and notice how the gasses were emitted from the battery when charged at a high rate of charge. During my tea break I decided I wanted to collect these Hydrogen Gasses, in a very large plastic bag. The size of this bag would cover an overcoat or suit of clothes. I then charged the battery at the rate of 50 A/H and soon the bag was filled with gas. I thought what would happen if this ignited so decided on a way to do it. I took two match heads and wrapped thin wire around them and then connected this to two long pieced of insulated wire. I hid behind a large metal cabinet and connected the wire to the car battery. This acted as the detonation. The “Bang” was so loud, the building shook and the whole factor stopped. The foreman came looking to see what had happened. I was so embarrassed I came out from behind the cabinet like a scolded dog with my tail between my legs. The manager, called Tom, asked what was happening. Before he spoke my conscience slew me if felt a fool and had

    dishonoured the Lord. I simple said the hydrogen from the car battery had ignites but all was well. I told my work college all about it when they returned from break. I laughed about it but inwardly felt ashamed and had let Jesus down because I had acted foolishly.

    Boredom, pride and self-seeking became a snare to me and I soon began to joke and mess about at work and I felt unclean.

    Working for self

    At that time my brother was out of work and Jock Macallion replacing windows on a council estate in Richmondsworth, had offered us work. So hastily I handed my notice in and my brother began to work together again. This work soon how ever came to an end but we soon found work in a building site as carpenters. We were paid £10 a day, which was good money and this, lasted a few weeks. One day on the site the men laughed at me when I told them about the Lord Jesus Christ. It didn’t bother me but my brother, for the first time ever, stuck up for me and told them what I was saying was true.

    Delivered from fire - the Morgan sports car

    After this we decided we would have to earn money at welding and spraying cars. I had the equipment and know how so we hired a barn, in Little Horward, and set up in business. It was cold at that time of the year in January and so we heated the workshop with an oil-burning stove called a “Salamander”. We were supposed to use heating oil or paraffin but we used old engine oil.

    This heater we called, “Sally the oil burning goose”, because of the shape of the chimney. This was a dangerous heater as I shall now relate and I believed God delivered me from a catastrophe.

    One day I had in the workshop a Morgan sports car, which was in for re spray. It was worth a £1000 (in 1972). I was working alone preparing this car with old Sally burning away merrily but she began to bubble and spit. This meant water was in the oil. Normally when this happened we shut her down and re-lit her but on this occasion she would not have it. She was so hot she erupted and oozed out gallons of hot engine oil, which flooded the floor. This went up in flames. The flames leaped up to the ceiling burning the polythene ceiling stretched across the rafters. The fumes and smoke and heat were so terrific. I cannot describe the event and terror I found my self in. What should I do? What could I do? All Alone in the middle of a field, in a wooden barn with, a pool of leaping flames just about to burn down the Barn and the Morgan car in side. My heart immediately motioned my soul to seek direct help from God. I had done all I could now I prayed aloud unto God for his intervention. I then left the barn with my back to it and my eye fell on an old damp tarpaulin, big enough to unfold and us as a fire blanket. In I went using the opened tarpaulin as a blanket and threw it over the burning pool. The flames were put out and smoke filled the place. The flames reappeared a few time but I soon put them out. God had answered my prayer and the flames were put out. The barn was saved and our equipment. Here God gave me the wisdom and courage and initiative to apply a natural remedy to my dilemma. God had saved me yet again. Praise God.

    About 15 minutes later Mike West and his wife arrived and the knights for visit. They said I looked as white as a sheet. No wonder so I explained all that had happened. From that time Mr Knight inquired about getting insurance against such accidents but the insurance company refuse it on the grounds it was too risky.

    Shortly after this I decided I would have to look for another kind of work.

    I find work in Lowestoft

    I found a job advertised in a national paper working as a faultfinder at the Pye TV factory at Fleet, Lowestoft. This was in the summer of 1972. I decided to take the job. I moved into a YMCA hostel leaving my home in Aylesbury and parents house. At the same time Ken took a job at the same factory and both he and his wife moved to Lowestoft for a short while. They eventually decided not to stay

    Elim Pentecostal

    I felt very lonely but soon got involved in the Elim Pentecostal Church in the town. I visited the local Christian bookshop and ordered a book called the Sovereignty of God by Arthur Pink. It was soon made known amongst the young people that I was a Calvinist because the mother, of one of the girls, served me in the shop. I found this out one evening when I was attending a young peoples occasion and the girl (about

    20) said she thought I was a Calvinist, as I had bought this book from the bookshop. She then asked me directly saying was I a Calvinist. I said yes I believed in the sovereignty of God. She was the daughter of one of the senior members of the Elim Church. Her response was YUK! And she turned around and walked away. I certainly felt hostility then. I decided I would speak to the elders of the church about some of the things I had learned but the idea of God choosing some and leaving others was not received very well. The thought of Particular Redemption was also rejected.

    Whilst at the YMCA I became very lonely and woke with a bad taste in my mouth. My mouth in fact tasted like the inside of a zookeepers boot. This was a saying of Mike West. I decided to treat my self and ended up very ill. I began to take Andrews liver salts and at first this was very refreshing. It was so good I began to take it all the time until one day at lunch I had stomach pains and when I tried to eat a salad then pain increased intensely. This set off a reaction, which lasted months and ended up me being treated for duodenal ulcers.

    I remember speaking to one the workers at the Lowestoft factory about Jesus Christ. I had told him all have sinned and come short of Gods standard. He did not accept he was a sinner as he had lived a good life and loved football. He asked me how going to a football match could possibly be wrong, in the eyes of God and I gave a quick retort saying the scriptures say, “Go not with a crowd to do evil.” I was thinking of the football hooligans but at that he said I was ridiculous.

    In the summer holiday I returned to Aylesbury and decided to apply for a Job as a television service engineer in Tring and began to attend the Pentecostal Holiness Church in Bierton.

    Working for Mr C J Ward and Son

    When I arrived for the interview it was said, by Mr Ward, the owner, the reason why I had got the job was because I was on time exactly. I had not planned it that way; I just arrived at that time. I started work on the 14th August 1972. With a salary of

    £2000 per year. I was very thankful to God for His mercy to me.

    I continued to work here and go to college at Luton to obtain a further endorsement on my City and Guilds Certificate in Colour TV Servicing. None of the people working here had time for Christian things in fact I was considered as less than nothing. I was ridiculed when I said, in the bible; God mentioned there was a Synagogue of Satan. They also treated the apprentice at a servant often humiliated him. I work here for 2 years but was not particularly happy there. We always closed for lunch and it was during that time I spent each day reading Dr John Gill's, “A Body of Doctrinal and Practical Divinity”, which I found so helpful and encouraging to read.

    I attend the Pentecostal Holiness Church in Bierton

    When I returned to Aylesbury the summer of 1972 and got my job with C J Ward and Son. I attended an opening service of the Pentecostal Holiness Church. A Rev. Gordon Hills was the preacher and was the pastor of the High Wycombe, Elim Pentecostal Church.

    There was a series of meetings one-week and soon realised he too was a Calvinist as each night his theme in preaching was one of the five points of Calvinism: Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and Perseverance of the saints. I certainly felt encouraged and assumed Mr Harrison the minister of the Bierton Pentecostal Holiness Church were in agreement with these truths. I last I felt here was a place where truth and the Baptism in the Spirit went hand in hand. I was so encouraged.

    I began to attend as a regular and got involved in the young people's work and very soon we had far to many kids from of the street to deal with. I was hopeless at discipline and how to control them. There was a wonderful opportunity but I found I was out of my depth and did not cope. Not only that but no one else knew how to cope either so the youth work was closed.

    I was soon disappointed to find out Mr Harrison had no Idea about Calvinism or Arminianism and when I tentatively spoke to him about such issues he dismissed the whole subject as “little issues of doctrine”.

    I began at that time to question many things and realised how easy it would be to be deceived if we were led by our feelings and not by the Word of God.

    An example of this was shown to me when the pastor Mr Harrison informed the church that the Lord had shown him the bungalow, which he wanted him to have. This was in Windermere Close in Aylesbury. He said he knew it was the Lords will because he had offered the people a cut price and it was immediately accepted. This was the means, which Mr Harrison knew it was the Lords will.

    The next thing the church was informed was that there were 17 clauses in the deed of purchase, which were unacceptable, and therefore the Lord did not want Mr Harrison to the buy the property. This was an example of what I mean, the Lord no more told Robert Harrison to buy the bungalow than he did to refrain from buying it. I did not feel or believe that was being led of the Holy Ghost.

    Mr E.C. Connet was another man whom I respected and he attended the Pentecostal Church at Bierton. One day in conversation with him, about the things of God and what I was reading and learning, he turned on me and said it was doctrinally wrong to say the righteousness of Christ was imputed to us for our Justification. This was because each one of us had to have a righteousness of our own. Jesus had his own righteousness for himself and we too needed our own righteousness.

    I was shocked and on every occasion I could I sought to reason with him from scripture that what I spoke about was true I argued from the scripture that said, “As in Adam all die so in Christ shall all be made alive”. That as the sin and guilt of Adam (note: not the sin of Eve) that brought about the imputation and guilt of sin to the whole of humanity so the righteousness of Jesus - his life and death, brought about a righteousness that was imputed to all that believe. On this account only do we have a right standing with God?

    One Sunday morning he turned on me in anger and said all I did was talk about doctrine and never about the Lord.

    I felt so wounded I just did not know what to do as I had always looked to this man for support and help. And I groaned in spirit feeling so alone in this situation. I wondered how should I handle this.

    I leave the Pentecostal Holiness Church

    I was now unsettled at the Pentecostal Church over a few issues that I did not know how to deal with. When explaining to the minister, Mr Harrison, that I wanted to leave because they did not teach the doctrines of grace. He said I ought not to leave because of a little bit of doctrine being different. I found the issue with Mr E.C. Connet serious because he did not believe or teach that righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ was imputed to us for our Justification. Although he had been a help to me he was one of the teachers in the church. Mr Harrison said he believe in the total depravity of man (not that he used these words) he said that there must have been a little bit of good, though ever so small in us for God to love us and want to save us. I knew that God set his love upon us and we had need of mercy and there was no good thing in us to recommend us to God. I also found the issue of being led by feelings rather that the Word of God very awkward.

    About this time a friend who lived in Wendover, Mr Alan Benning, informed me that the Strict and Particular Baptist Church at Bierton, believed the doctrines of grace and that a Mr J Hill, a Gospel Standard minister (of Luton Ebenezer Church) was engaged to preach on an anniversary service, in the near future. I was keen to hear him preach. So I began to attend their weeknight prayer meeting.

    My hopes had been raised that I would hear the truth about Gods free sovereign grace for it was reported that Mr Hill was a Gospel Standard minister. I was given to

    believe I would hear those truths preached that were taught by William Huntington, William Gadsby and John Kershaw. I had read their autobiographies and found their writing very helpful and encouraging as they gave all the praise glory to Jesus Christ the Lord and not to man.

    I was convinced the Word of God was infallible and the only rule of conduct and religious practice. I believed the scripture taught us of a sovereign true and living God. That though God be one God, the only self existent being, one in essence and nature, there subsists in the divine essence three divine persons; The Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Each person being truly and properly God by nature and that from all eternity. The divine nature being not divided but one essence. Each divine person possessing the whole of the divine essence.

    I believed the scripture taught the Lord Jesus Christ is that only begotten son of the Father, full of grace and truth, the only saviour of (Gods elect) whom were all lost sinners.

    He is one person yet having two natures, a human and divine. As the eternal Son of God the Father, from all eternity, the divine Son of the Father, so by nature truly God. Yet at the incarnation he took to himself that which he was not; our human nature and so was truly man. Hence the glorious complex person of Jesus Christ is the Christ that should come into the world to save sinners. His glory being veiled during his time of humiliation.

    I believed this same Jesus had called me by his grace directly and made him self- known to me outside of the circles of any Christian church. It was he whom I sought and believed in when I went and hear Mr Hill preach, at the Bierton Anniversary Service.

    Mr Hill preached the distinguishing doctrines of grace very clearly. At that time I did not know many preachers preach these things except I had heard Dr Ian Paisley on a record and that sermon was called “Second mile religion”.

    I had also heard Dr Martin Lloyds Jones but he seamed not to emphasis the distinguishing doctrines of Grace although it was evident he believed in the sovereignty of God.

    The churches I had attended until this time around Aylesbury and district appeared to only know of Arminianism doctrine and held to a false doctrine of universal love towards all mankind and a general atonement distant from particular redemption.

    The three day week an my redundancy

    I continued to work for C J Ward and son until I was made redundant during the period of the three-day week in 1974. The letter came to me dated 8th Feb 1974. I was at home at the time of receiving this letter and its date was significant to me. I realised I was now unemployed. When I looked at the date I took courage, which

    helped fight the haunting fears of not being able to get a job because of my past criminal record. The Judge Col. Tetley, at the Aylesbury Magistrates Court, had given

    me a conditional discharge lasting for three years. . This was on 9th February 1971. In other words my three years (three years to the day) was up.

    Letter informing me of my redundancy

    CJ Ward & Son, 72 Western Road, Tring

    Dear David,

    8th February 1974

    It is with deep distress the due to the present day economic position I greatly regret that we have to terminate you employment as from today week.

    Rest assured this has no adverse reflection on your work or you present unfortunate illness, and will be more than pleased to give you any reference, which may be of help to you.

    Should the economic position improve I would be pleased to consider any application you may wish to make at any time, and always pleased to see or help in any way possible.

    Yours Sincerely,

    C. J. Ward.

    Enclosed P.45 and N.I. Card.

    Please note we have sent off your National Health certificate and have not deducted any money from this on next week’s remuneration.

    The following reference was enclosed

    To whom it may concern

    Mr David Clarke has been in our employ since August 1972 and has always proved himself to be industrious, courteous, and efficient and a reliable worker whom we have been pleased to have on our Staff. Since being with us he has taken advantage of Day College to obtain his City and Guilds endorsement, to add to his previous knowledge and certificates. We can thoroughly recommend him for any similar position and wish him well in such. We regret that the present government and country unrest and economic position led us, with great regret, to dispense with his services.

    CJ Ward.

    My response to Mr Ward’s letter

    I felt so encouraged by the date of the letter as it was 3 years to the day since I was given the conditional discharge from my Court case after the confession of my 24 crimes. Remember I was conditionally discharged on the 9th February 1971. It was as though my God and Father were saying to me don’t worry I would take care of

    you. I could now look for work knowing and feeling I was free with a clean sheet to start from.

  12. Working for Granada TV Rentals

    I started work for Granada TV Rentals Ltd. On 25/2/1974, being paid £37.27 per week. With a company car and £3.72 per week as vehicle allowance.


    David at Granada TV Rentals

    Michael Nicholson left, Phil Reason middle, Tony Burnham and Mrs Royce-Taylor

    I found working for Granada a fresh breath of air and got on real well. And within 6 months I was promoted to workshop manager finding the work very challenging and rewarding. The only problem was I worked too hard and was inefficient.

    It was during this time I contacted Michael, of C J Ward, asking him if he wanted a job with Granada. He was the apprentice of C J Ward and whilst working for them he told me he wanted to leave as soon as he could. He was fed up with being treated second rate. He hated having to stub out the cigarette ends of John Ward in an ashtray. John Ward was the son of the Boss.

    He came to Granada, past all the tests and he was accepted. He joined Granada as a Technician in October 1974.

    Victor Prince the Crombie over coat

    “In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths” Prov.

    The following extract is taken from my loose-leaf diary, which I kept whilst working at Granada, and relates to a remarkable experience, which demonstrates the wonder and way how the Spirit of God leads and teaches a believer.

    On Friday, 30/8/74, it was my day off from work and during the day I was rebuilding our garage roof at 36 Finmere Crescent, Aylesbury. During the day I was thinking about the way God had dealt with me and led me thus far. I realised that each child of God was special to Him and dealt with each one personally. Each person had his own peculiar special work of God done in his or her own life and was a work done in no other and was special to them. All were saved, being involved in a common salvation, but the work of God was peculiar and special to that individual. In this frame of mind I began to wonder about a particular trouble I had caused a Mr Victor Prince.

    Mr Prince was a tailor and some years previously (about 5 years) I had employed him to make a Crombie over coat when I had just been released from Borstal. It was to cost £45 and I gave him £ 5 deposit to start the work. At that time I was living in London doing Government training course learning about Television servicing. My brother was due to be released from prison on home leave. He had a coat made by some one a year previously and on his home leave he came to see the coat before it was finished. After hearing how long it had been in the making he said it was taking far too long and he persuaded me to tell Mr Prince it was not good enough. He then picked holes in the coat in front of Mr Price and told him to stick the coat. Later on the telephone we were both nasty to Mr Prince. Mr Prince thought I was saying I could not afford it and offered to keep it until I could. It was made especially for me and really would nod do any one else. I left it with Mr Prince and though no more of it until then when I was on the garage roof. I felt bad about the way I had treated him and would apologise to him if I could.

    My mind was thinking upon the subject of predestination and reasoned that God had planned every thing in creation to bring about a display of his glory and Grace in Jesus Christ. I was a person created by God being responsible and accountable to God having a definite purpose for my existence. I was alive and active but God was working in and through me. I had been predestined to obtain salvation, by Jesus Christ. This work of salvation was the means of displaying Gods love, mercy and grace, towards me. It was not my free will that saved me but Gods free grace that made me willing in the day of His power. Therefore glory was due to God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

    Feeling wretched over the way I treated Mr Prince I had resolved, in my mind, to pay the money I owed Mr Prince and apologies to him if ever I was to meet him again.

    It was one week later on a Sunday the 8 /9.74 that I saw the amazing hand of God at work. Mrs Knight of Mount Street spoke to me on the way home from the Pentecostal

    Church at Bierton. She said her and Ken had met someone they had not seen for a long time. I stopped her speaking and told her it was Mr Prince. She was amazed and wondered how I knew. They had meet Mr Prince in Aylesbury and he had though of asking Ken to repair his TV as it had gone wrong. They said perhaps they would ask me to do it and if he remembered me. He certainly did. Mrs Knight was able to inform him of me becoming a Christian and he left it to them to make arrangements to get his TV fixed.

    I had not mentioned a thing to Mrs Knight and there was no way of this happening by chance. God had done it.

    The first Sunday after this we all went to visit Mr Prince but he was out at a Harvest Thanks giving service at a Methodist church. So we made arrangement to go on 18th of September. At first I did not know what to say as I was extremely embarrassed so I said very little. I soon repaired the TV and then spoke to Mr price about what had happened. I apologised and offer to pay the money I owed him, quite forgetting about the coat.

    It turned out he still had the over coat even after several moves and the money owing was £38. All I was asked to pay was £34 so I paid this by cheque.

    (Cheque number 183901). I now had my coat; it is dark blue Crombie over coat.

    I am offered a job with C J Ward and Son

    It was in October 1974 that I receive a call from Mr C J Ward asking me if I wanted my job back. I had not long been promoted to Service Manager at Granada but the offer was very tempting not to refuse immediately.

    I went for the interview as I was interested and asked Mr Ward all kinds of questions as this company had made me redundant before. I explained my problem about being a Christian and how it felt having the three-year suspended sentence, and Mr Ward seemed sympathetic saying he had not realised this at all. I told him about the Lord Jesus Christ and what he had done for me. He said had I told him these things before he may have been able to help.

    I was offered £50 per week (I was only getting £ 40 at Granada) plus a company car - with a day off - I was really tempted. When he offered me £60 per week and asked me I start straight away without giving notice to Granada I said yes, thinking this was the right thing to do. I had never had thinks turn out so good before.

    I thanked God for the promotion. Mr Ward seemed pleased as though he had won a prize. Here I was being offered £1000 per year more that I was getting at Granada.

    After the interview I thought to my self had I made the right decision and thought about my boss, Tony Burnham - how would he cope? He had been good to me and got me the promotion at Granada, I had second thoughts about taking the job and so I decided to en contacted Mr Ward immediately to inform him of my decision.

    Letter from Mr Ward 21st November 1974

    Dear David,

    I have to thank you for your letter dated 8th October, I have personally not written before as I have been trying to reconcile your actions with your religious beliefs, to this “god which spoke to you”.

    You spent all one Friday afternoon asking about four pages of questions, I began to think it was myself asking for a job, which apparently were answered to your satisfaction and you arranged to take the position at a wage well above your actual capabilities but I was willing to accept, capabilities which in part we paid for you to acquire, you shook hands with me to seal the bargain and when I asked if you required a contract you paid me the compliment of saying “ No your word is good enough Mr Ward”. What a pity that I cannot now pay the same compliment to you, as within 24 hours you had broken our agreement. One does not expect this from religious people of conviction; your religion is obviously different to mine. Just how it this compatible with seducing our apprentice away from us before he had completed his contract for which he so willingly, and at his own request signed for.

    Yours Sincerely, C J Ward.

    My response to Mr Ward’s irritating letter

    I felt very irritated with Mr Wards response and I felt he was acting in spite so I aske a Christian, Peter Howe, a minister of the Gospel from Ivanhoe, near Tring, how I should respond to this letter, as it irritated me. He felt it was not necessary to give a long reply but simple say you were sorry he felt the way he did but I had to act in my interest, just as he did when he made me redundant. How ever felt it needed a fuller reply, as I felt he was out of order and might learn a few things from me.

    My letter or rely 31/11/74

    Dear Mr Ward,

    I am sorry to hear you seem so bitter about my break of contract with you. I wrote firstly to apologise for inconveniencing you and wasting your time and money. My conscience had troubled me over saying I would start work for you and then turning your offer down.

    What more can I say, I know me saying sorry will not undo what has happened, all I can do is apologies. Please accept them.

    Surely you realised the reason why I asked you so many questions was because it was such a major decision I had to make. You wanted an immediate answer, straight away, so I had to weigh all the facts so to act in my own interest. Just as you acted in your own interest when you dismissed me before.

    I am most grateful for your efforts in supplementing my training, which I realise, cost you money also. But Mr Ward you did sack me, I never intended to leave. And therefore I am under no obligation what so ever to you in that respect.

    I did explain to you about Michael the last time we met. I hid nothing from you.

    Whilst I worked with Michael he told me as soon as his apprenticeship was finished he was leaving you. It was under this impression I contacted him regarding working for Granada. I thought his contract finished this summer gone.

    I never intended that he should break any contract. I explained to him that you had always treated me fairly and that he must make his own decisions. It was well within your own ability to freely agree to dis annul the contract without aggravation to you or Michael. I am sure Michael would not have left unless you had agreed to dismiss him.

    As to enticing and seducing him away and your religion being different from mine on this point it seems that is what you attempted to do with me when tempting me to leave Granada without giving a weeks notice.

    Your last point, I admit, my religion is different to yours.

    The Lord God whom you speak against is my Lord. He is your creator and both you and me are accountable to him alone, for our actions, words and thoughts. If God chooses to start a good work of change, in such a sinful person as my self, and you speak against his work, then it is he you defy and not I. The Lord Jesus Christ came into the world to save his people from their sins. Not for the sake of the righteous. Only sick people need a doctor. I needed the doctor. I am the sinner and am in need of his forgiveness and mercy.

    However I don’t like upsetting people I hope you receive my answer to your letter and consider what I say. I don’t wish to be on bad terms with you as I like you and admire your business ability.

    Yours Sincerely,

    David Clarke.

    Shortly after this Mr Ward was in serious difficulties which those that know him will know all about.

    My visit to Northern Ireland

    At that time I took advantage of an invite from Owen MaCrystal to visit him at home. He lived in a town called Omagh, in County Tyrone, in Northern Ireland. Owen had a television business called “Crystal TV”. He used to live in Aylesbury as a telephone engineer and I met him through Ken Knight, when I worked for him at the age of 16. He started his business by moving a vanload of second hand TV sets, from England, to the town of Omagh, and then began to rent and repair washing machines and TV’s. I was invited to teach one of his employees, called Ivan. I taught him how colour TV’s work. Owen maintained he was a genius because he could fix TV sets without knowing how they worked. He maintained that one could repair a TV set if one knew how it worked, so Owen must be a genius as he could repair them not knowing how they worked. Owen’s wife was a Catholic and I think they viewed my religious beliefs with scepticism.


    Isaac and Esther shed tears of Repentance on Ian Paisley’s knee

    (I met him at a meeting in London several years later)

    I was unaware of all the conflicts in Ireland at that time and largely ignorant of the issues involved. I had heard people speak evil of Ian Paisley and all I knew was that the Rev. Ian Paisley had preached a sermon called, “Second Mile Religion” and I knew from that sermon he was a man of God, and preached the truth about the Lord Jesus Christ. I decided on my way through Belfast I would stop the night and visit the Martyrs Memorial Church, where Ian Paisley was the pastor.

    When I arrived in Belfast I was amazed to see all the soldiers with guns, checking every body, and watching out for trouble. It was the 12th of July 1974. When I arrived on one of the streets I noticed all the shops and doorways were barred up and the streets were empty with soldiers on every corner. I was knocking on a guesthouse door to find two ladies running the guesthouse. I had arrived unannounced with a large suspicious suitcase, in my hand, from England. I said would like to stay the night and asked if they knew where Martyrs Memorial Church was. They looked at me “gone out” and asked me what was an English man doing visiting Belfast during all these troubles. I said I wanted to hear Ian Paisley preach. I said I had heard him preach on a record and he preached the gospel. They said they were Catholics and they would be too afraid to go and hear him preach, even though

    they would like to. They made me welcome and I had a pleasant stay learning a bit about the troubles in Northern Ireland.

    In the morning as I carried my suspicious looking suit case through the streets of Belfast, I had occasion to ask a milkman the way to Martyrs Memorial Church and he replied I was in the wrong part of Belfast to be asking directions to that place. Thankfully he directed me along a certain road. I realised this must have been a Catholic area but I was really so naive I did not know what was going on, at all.

    I ended up in a Newspaper shop asking directions and my eyes caught the picture of a man called “Carson” on a post card. To make conversation I asked the shopkeeper who was this person Carson, and she spoke scathingly to me say I ought not to ask such questions like that. I then realised I must have been in the wrong area.

    I arrive at the Martyrs Memorial Church and Mr Paisley was preaching. It was a very large building with figureheads of the martyrs all around the building. Mr Paisley preached faithfully the truth about Jesus Christ and I could not understand why people should oppose him as I had heard. In that meeting I heard no mention of politics. I only heard about Jesus Christ and what he had done for sinners. I concluded it must be his tone of voice or way of speaking. I felt people must have not been listening to his message but rather the tone of his voice. I could imagine him speaking against the enemies of the truth using his tongue like a “bastard file”. After the meeting I asked Mr Paisley to direct me to some one who could help me get to Omagh, as I was a visitor.

    I finally got transport that day to Omagh and ended up joining a group of Christians from the Free Presbyterian Church. I was given an orange sash and I joined their march along the streets and lanes of the town. We then went to a meeting and the Preacher was Rev. William Macray.

    I had a good time in Omagh, staying at my friend's home. Owen did not believe the gospel, he was a nominal Roman Catholic, and we had long talks about the things of God. Ivan confided in me that he was a Christian but he did not like to say too much to Owen as it might not go down too well for him and Owen could give him a hard time.

    The pace of life seemed so much slower than in Aylesbury and every one I spoke to seemed to have a knowledge as to what it meant to be, “born again” or to “be saved”. Even Owen and his wife who were Catholics knew these terms and used them. It was not like this in England. I had a good time in Ireland and would like to go again.

  13. Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church

    I had become dissatisfied with the situation, circumstances and doctrinal position of the Pentecostal Holiness Church, and I felt led rightly to leave this Church and attend the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist church. I felt I could no longer in conscience stay at the church, even though I had affection for all the people there, when there was a company of people across the road at the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church, who professed the very gospel I had received. From that time I attended as a member of the congregation, at this place of truth.

    I started to go Bierton Church just before Mr Hill preached, at the Wednesday night prayer meeting, where I sat at the back of the chapel. At that time I had no idea of the manner of church government, nor of any other ministers engaged to preach,

    The folk at Bierton used a hymnbook, which I liked, and also I was happy with the slower pace of singing.

    Miss Bertha Ellis would play the foot-peddled organ and the hymnbook used was Denham’s Collection, 18th or 19th century. The hymn singing was about half the speed of the hymns sung at other churches, and the words of the hymns were wonderful and glorifying to God. The procedure of meeting was generally a hymn first, then reading from the scripture (Authorised version King James), then another hymn, a prayer, a hymn, the sermon, and then a final hymn and a closing prayer.

    A short while after I began to attend, on a regular basis, I was asked by Mr King if I would engage in prayer when asked to. It was the custom for men to pray and the women to keep silent.

    I did engage in prayer and after the meeting Mr King asked me kindly to pray in future, in reverent language and to address God in terms of thee and thou rather than you and your because it could offend people. That was their custom.

    I went away feeling offended, thinking all kinds of thoughts. I was upset thinking what difference does the language make etc. but I bowed to their request and adopted their form of speak in order not to offend. I find it difficult today to break from that habit of using thee and thou. i.e. reverent language, when addressing God.

    I found the hymns and preaching at the Bierton Strict Baptist Church very edifying and helpful.

    Not all the preaching however was good at Bierton. Sometimes I would groan and suffer 45 minute of things I found difficult to listen to. These preachers would not use notes but spoke, as they felt led.

    Miss Bertha Ellis informed me that the church was formed in 1831 and opened by the son of John Warburton and she had the minutes of the meeting in the deed of trust upon which the church was formed.

    After my warm reception I was looking forward to hear Mr Hill, of Luton preach at the Anniversary Service. It was good to hear Mr Hill preach and he later invited me to his home in Luton, together with Mr Alan Benning.

    I join the church

    After a short while I wrote to the church expressing my wish to join as I believed I had that responsibility having experience the new birth and had been baptised. I thought I should support the cause of Christ at Bierton.

    I was received into church membership, at the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church, on 8th January 1976.

    A problem arose because in the articles of faith given to me there were two, which I could not subscribe too. However these articles of faith were not what were contained in the trust deed of 1831 so I was allowed to join upon my acceptance of the original articles of faith, and not the spurious ones. There was in fact no record of how these other articles of faith came to be in use.

    The articles I found unacceptable were:

    Article XII We believe that Christ has set apart a day of rest, to be kept holy, and for his honour and glory, which is the first day of the week, commonly called Sunday, Mark 2 27. Acts 16 13. Hebrew 4 9.

    I did not believe that was true or that the scripture taught that.

    Article XVI We believe all infants who die in their infancy, go to heaven by virtue of the death of Christ. Matt 19: 13, 14, 15.

    Again I could not say that I believed this. I grant that if they do go to heaven then is must be by virtue of the death of Jesus. These scriptures quoted did not teach this view.

    I was however received into membership after giving a clear and detailed account of the Lords dealings with me.

    I fall into depression

    On my return to work I continued the long hours, to get all the work done at Granada. We had become the best branch in the district, in terms of sales and repairs. However this excessive work took its toll on me, and the things of God began to pale. Normally I would be considering the things of God all the time, thinking about creation, our purpose in life and the way of salvation, the person of Christ, His work and my calling in particular. I went to the church meetings but I could not shut off from thinking of work.

    I soon realised I was not well, nor a good manager, and found myself doing all the work that needed to be done myself. I worked long hours and my days off, without extra pay. Although I got the job done and we were the best branch in the district it was at my expense.

    During this time Mrs Knight's husband got into serious trouble with the law. He had devised a scheme to launch a bogus insurance company. He showed me all the printing and the cover note books, which he had made, with his own name as the insurance underwriter. I warned him in no uncertain terms that he would end up in prison if he went ahead with his plans.

    It wasn’t long before he was caught. He was sentence to 4 years prison and spent his time at Ley Hill Prison. This was an open prison for non-violent offenders.

    Now Mrs Knight (Grace) had the responsibility of bringing up her 14-year-old son Mark and I was around to help. I spoke to Mark about the Lord Jesus and he became a Christian during a holiday that he had been on with some friends.

    His mother Grace depended on me for lifts and various helps. It was soon muted by some Christians that it did not seem right that I, as a single man, should be helping a married woman. This upset Grace and I found it all a bit too difficult because she did seem to look to me for every thing during the time her husband Ken was in prison.

    Buying my first house

    My parents encouraged me to buy their house, with the aid of a mortgage, as I was working and eligible for a home loan. With the money they realised from the sale, they bought another house in Aylesbury, at Coronation Villas. This one needed renovation.

    They employed Michael to do the renovation and it was there that he lived when he was first married. At the same time another house became available, just down the road, at Canal Side and I was encouraged by my parents to buy this house with a bank loan of £3,500, and a loan of £3,000 from my mum and dad. This we renovated and then when I met my first girl friend it was to become our first home, when we married. This was the girl I saw baptised at Limes Avenue Baptist Church.

    Depression the first time (circumstantial or indigenous or other?)

    When I started work at Granada I was feeling very happy and was on a manic high. It was during this period that I agreed to buy my parents home and the house at Canal Side. How ever after several months of this intense work and concerns over the Knight family, I began to find I could not cope with the stress and the demands of the job at Granada. I went through horrifying bouts of agony and fear of not being able to cope. I began to think I was experiencing flash backs from the bad trip on LSD. This time how ever, it was in the cold light of day, with no LSD etc. I was so ill I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, thinking this would remove me from all the pain that I was going through. I cried out to God in all this but the heavens seemed to be as brass.

    One afternoon, on the garage roof at Grace Knight’s house, at Mount Street, I cracked up and realised I could not cope any more. I couldn’t make decisions. I could not think straight; every problem was too much to face. Each morning when I awoke for work, I had to take a walk in the park near our house; in much pain wishing the ground would open up and swallow me, before going to work.

    I ended up resigning from the manager's job and becoming a normal technician. This ended my feelings of failure but further depression set in. It was during this time that I learned that the Christian life could be very painful, which caused me to seek deliverance from the Lord, and rely totally on the God of all grace.

    I wondered and felt that God was chastening me for not dealing with a particular problem in my life. At this time I had not heard of manic depression or bi-polar mood swings, but on reflection this was a very serious swing into the depths of depression. I had been plunged into an abyss, whose depths had not been fathomed. It was to last for a period of 3 years. My movements had slowed down and speech was slow and I felt utterly cast down. I began to fear the future and felt so very much alone. I was lonely. I wondered if I would ever find a girlfriend and marry.

    Then I did meet my first girlfriend who went to the local Anglican Church in Aylesbury, but we were not really suited. We intended to marry but to my dismay, and total pain, she had second thoughts, concluding that I had religious mania. This added to my depression, which only began to lift after I met my wife to be, Irene Protheroe, on a Christian Holiday, organised by Caterham Strict Baptist Church.

    Depression lifts

    I realised my depression was lifting because I began to look forward to seeing Irene and we wrote letters to each other every day. One day, after visiting one of Granada's customers, they offered me a Billy goat, for £30. I bought it without thinking where I would keep it, or who would look after it, but thankfully we had space at 24 Mount Street, right next to the Railway line of Aylesbury Railway Station. The trouble was Solomon that was what we called him, cried all night because he was alone. We felt he would die of a broken heart. This was all because he had been separated from his mate Priscilla. I had no option but to go and buy her too, and bring her to Mount Street. It was then, when Irene came from Leicester, that I conducted a marriage ceremony for Solomon and Priscilla (as I did not believe they should cohabit before marriage) !, and very soon they had twin’s baby goats, that we called Benjamin and Sheba.

    By this time Mrs Knights husband had been released from prison and he gladly looked after the goats, milking Priscilla each day.

    I train to be a teacher

    I was then encouraged by Irene to consider training to be a teacher because I had expressed a desire to preach and teach the gospel. She was a personnel officer, at a Christian Book publisher called IVPF, in Leicester. I was not keen on Bible Colleges, and those graduating from such institutions did not at all impress me. However I thought it was a good idea to train to be a teacher and to be qualified, as then I could teach whatever subject I liked. I was self-taught in reading the scriptures and doctrinal books, like Dr John Gill, Luther, Calvin, Huntington, Kershaw and many of the reformers.

    My application to attend Wolverhampton Technical Training College was accepted and by the sheer grace of God I was accepted, not really due to my own merit but

    rather because they were short of students and I had the highest qualifications one could have to teach Radio and Television Servicing.

    That year, towards the end September 1976, was a good year for me. My mood was high and I got interested in many projects whilst at Wolverhampton TTC. In particular a project to generate methane from pig manure so that I could run my car from it.

    Buying our first home together and getting married

    Whilst I was at Wolverhampton I encourage Irene to buy a house, I gave her the deposit and she was able to get a mortgage for £6000.00, and so we bought 64B Moat Street in Wigston Magna, Leicestershire.

    The day after I finished my first term at Wolverhampton TTC we were married at the Evangelical Church in Evington, Leicestershire.

    64B Moat Street became our first home together. During the summer of that year I renovated this property, which increase in value from £9,000 in 1978 to £27,000 in 1980. We were in this house when Isaac, our first child was born, in February 1979.

    On a manic high

    It was during this period I realise now I was on a manic high. I recall I brought our baby goats, Benjamin and Sheba, from Aylesbury - because I was on a high I did things I wanted to do without thinking of the consequences or outcome of my decisions.

    My first lecturing post at Luton College of Higher Education

    I graduated from the Wolverhampton Polytechnic in 1978 and was awarded a Teaching Qualification, Cert. Ed. From Birmingham University and my first lecturing post was at Luton College of Higher Education. It was at this college, which I attended between 1967 and 1972, that I obtained my City and Guilds qualification, in Radio and Television Servicing. Terry Lovelock was the senior lecturer when I was a student, and he was still there when I was employed as a member of staff in the Engineering Department.

    We move to Luton and lived in a council supplied house

    We were able to obtain a council house at Lewsy Farm and for the first six months we were very happy. We even got permission from the council to keep our goats in the coalhouse. The only trouble was when I took them for a walk they would escape and eat the neighbour's flowers in their front gardens.

    After six months my wife encourage me to buy a house in Linslaid, rather than rent from the council, which we were able to do at a price of £14,000. This is where we stayed until it was decided we should return to live in Bierton and be involved with the church.

    I do my own conveyance

    We had a friend who wished to buy our house so we worked together and got some books and learned how to buy and sell a house without a solicitor. We succeeded without any difficulties and after that I was able to sell our house in Moat Street and buy our new home in Bierton, all without the aid of a solicitor. We saved hundreds of pounds. Try it; it is worth the effort.

    Moving back to Bierton

    We decided to move to Bierton in 1980 and sell our houses in Wigston, Linslaid and Aylesbury to buy a detached bungalow in Bierton. This was because we wanted to be more involved with the church and I could commute to my work in Luton each day. A problem occurred which I was just not expecting, and this was the fact that we were not able to sell my Canal Side house as my tenants refused to leave.

    On reflection I was on a high and I believed I could represent myself in court thinking I had a clear-cut case for eviction. This time I was wrong and I would encourage any one in a similar position to employ a lawyer.

    Angels come to help

    I had bought a terraced house at Canal Side, Aylesbury, before I got married and I had renovated it. I had borrowed £3,000 from Barclays and was paying this back over a period of 3 years.

    It was in September 1976 I left Aylesbury and went to Wolverhampton Polytechnic (formerly Wolverhampton Technical Teacher Training College) to train as a teacher. I rented out three rooms with shared amenities and I reserved a room for myself downstairs.

    My mother looked after all the bills and collected the rents. Whilst I was at Wolverhampton the boyfriend of the lady, who lived as a tenant, asked if he too could rent a room. This seemed OK so I let a room to him as well. They soon got married and I saw no real problem. They then asked if they could have just the one double room. I explained that I needed to rent all the rooms but they could have the double room for an appropriate rent. I also said they could use my room down stairs when I wasn’t there.

    I thought things were OK but I had a problem three years later (October 1980) when I wanted to sell the house. I knew nothing about the law and the Land Lord and Tenant Act. I soon found a buyer for the house and made an offer to buy a house from Mr X in Great Lane, Bierton.

    My tenants decided to claim they had right of occupation, and wanted to stay there, which prevented me from selling the house. I went through all kinds of indignant feelings and was angry with them. They knew I had rented the rooms to them on condition if I wanted to return they would have to leave. They called in the Rent Officer, and the officials came in reducing the rent that I was charging them. In the end I decided I would have to take them to court to get them to leave.

    I had to say to Mr X that I could not proceed with the purchase of his house and he was very upset as it messed all their plans up and cost him extra money because the housing chain had been broken. He even asked me to meet the extra costs he had incurred. He felt I was morally obliged to pay towards the costs (£1000) due to us not being able to proceed with the purchase. I felt upset by this too.

    I felt God was on the side of the Righteous and if I were to present my case to the court I would get an order to get these people to leave.

    I knew nothing about the law and could not afford a Solicitor, as all my money was tied up in paying mortgages etc. So I decided to take them to court myself. I believed I could do all things through God who strengthened me.

    The Judged asked me what the case was all about. I proceeded to read my script but he soon stopped me. He said you cannot do that and without explaining why he asked the defendants solicitor to state the case.

    Apparently you have to present things in a certain order and way and it must conform to a certain protocol. I knew nothing about protocol, or the law, all I knew was I had been wronged and I was looking for Justice.

    The judge said I ought to seek legal help. My case was dismissed much to my dismay. My mother was in court and stood up and protested to the judge. I simply got up and left saying no more. Needless to say I was dismayed and dumbfounded. Where was God and where was justice? I realised then the law of our land has nothing to do with morality or right and wrong in that sense but was pedantic and according to strict rules. This was not justice as far as I was concerned. I looked to God for help. I believed God would appear for my help.

    What was all that about -Did angels really intervene?

    When I returned the next day to Canal Side to sort things out in the house, the man, my tenant, a big Irish man, said to me,” What was all that about last night “? I did not know what he was talking about and asked him what he meant. He said that two men had come around with lumps of wood, the previous evening, and said they wanted them out. I was amazed, as I knew nothing about it. I said that I didn’t know anything about it and he should go to the police.

    I thought that these must be angels sent from God to warn them not to trifle with me. I felt comforted that this was the case. I began to believe it, that things were going to be OK.

    In the end I had to employ a Barrister to represent me. It was many months later that the couple agreed to buy the house from me, at a market price. It cost me at least

    £800 in legal fees.

    It was a number of years later that my brother confessed to me that he and a friend Peter Sinfield had been those Angels.

    Prevented from buying a house - I upset J & J

    As I have already mentioned we had to pull- out of buying his bungalow but he was upset by the fact we did not proceed with the purchase. This was his letter to me, which caused me concern.

    17th November 1980

    Dear David,

    As you can see, after you had withdrawn from the sale of Great Lane we were put in a very difficult position, because as you remember we had been given until the end of December to complete the purchase of this property. This proved to be quite impossible, and although the builders have been very helpful, they had to increase the price to us by £1500.

    We had not bargained for this when we got our mortgage, and together with extra Solicitors fees that were involved, found at the end of the sale needing to borrow the extra money. This of course must be paid back in the near future and we felt that, as this was not our fault really, that you might feel you could help us with £1000 of it. We did give you the preference over the cash buyer we had, because we wanted to help friends at Bierton Chapel.

    If we could have managed in any other way without writing to you, believe me we would have done so.

    Trusting that Irene and the children are well. May God bless you all?

    Yours Sincerely, J&J

    My reply to Mr and Mrs J&J

    Dear Mr xx

    Re Your letter dated 17th November 1980

    Moat Street

    I am pleased for you that at last you have moved to your new home but am sorry that the move proved more expensive than you anticipated.

    Your request came as a surprise and has caused my conscience much exercise over the morality of the issue, since it would appear you feel Irene and I are obligated to repay some of your losses. However after careful reasoning we do not share the same view and do not accept the obligation. Also, Irene and I are unable to do so as we are in financial difficulties our selves.

    I would like to add that had we felt obliged then by the grace of God we would have offered payment for your loss. This did occur in my last transaction when trying to sell Canal Side. I presumed to give the intended purchaser vacant possession within a month of the exchange of contract but I was unable to do so since my tenants refused to leave. In this case I felt obliged to him and offered to pay the expenses of

    my intended purchaser because he had proceeded to purchase on that basis. When we spoke to you we did not keep you in the dark over our circumstances and I did keep you informed. Our arrangements were Subject to Contract, which at that time had not been drawn up nor signed at the time of our withdrawal.

    I do apologise over the matter for it seems God, in His providence, intervened having His own reasons and although at the present time we cannot see why, He may be pleased to show us one day.

    Yours with Christian regards,

    David Clarke.

    Dealings like this always leave a bad taste in the mouth but I had to leave it in Gods hands. This shows that Christians are not immune from the normal trials of life and that this chain in buying and selling has a knock - on effect. Mr G. Felt I had let him down and so I should compensate him. I too had been let down by the tenants.

    Hats or head coverings for ladies

    Eventually we were able to by a property in Bierton. It was detached bungalow just down the road from the Bierton Strict Baptist Chapel. I felt really blessed of God to own it and be so near to our chapel.

    Trouble was on its way in the form of religious oppression. On a Sunday morning, in 1983, I took to church a friend of mine’s daughter. This was the daughter of Dick Holmes who I use to work with as an aerial rigger. She had been through a divorce and was having a difficult time. I suggested she came with me to church, as she needed help from God.

    She was dressed in tight black slacks and a short top, which showed all her figure. She had long peroxide blond hair and her face was made up. This mode of dress was a striking contrast to the elderly ladies who dressed very modestly with no facial make up and all wore hats to cover their heads in church.

    Unfortunately this was too much for Mrs Evered who came up to me after the service (I call it a meeting because the meetings of the New Testament churches were not called services) and she said that the next time I bring a female to chapel I should ask her to wear a hat.

    Mrs E said that all Gospel Standard Churches insisted that women cover their heads and so should we.

    I responded to that by saying, “ What ever others do is their concern. They are wrong if they enforced the covering of the head upon a none church member and a women visitor who has no profession of the Christian faith.”

    I said she must raise this issue at our church meeting.

    This spirit of legalism naturally took me back. Here was a young woman in severe distress needing the mercy and love of God as revealed in Jesus Christ and all Mrs E

    seemed to be concerned with was the wearing of a hat. I knew the principle of a women dressing modestly and being in subjection to her husband and covering her head in worship. I also knew the principle of the women not exercising authority over a man but this action of Mrs E. to use a phrase, “took the biscuit”.

    I was a man and was being instructed by a woman, Mrs E, to order a visiting unbelieving female to wear a hat in order to uphold the principle that it was a shame for women to worship God without a head covering.

    This covering, according to the scripture, was to show the angels that woman had no authority over man, to remind them of the Garden of Eden and Christ's relationship to the church.

    Mrs E missed had missed the whole point of the gospel and in her religious zeal to maintain an outward form of religion had transgressed the rule she sought to maintain.

    This religious spirit was not of God and I believed the gospel needed to be preached to set me free from such darkness. But who would do this?

  14. A Call to Preach the Gospel

    I believe God puts the desire to preach and speak His Word into the hearts of those whom he calls. This desire was place in my heart the day Jesus called me to hear him and believe in him. My desire to help others turn from the way that leads to hell and to turn to Christ himself for salvation, was acknowledge by Jesus the night I was saved. His reply to me, when I asked what about the others, was that all I could do was tell them. What better way than to preach the unsearchable riches of Christ to men.

    I had spoken on a number of times at Bierton Church, during the week- night prayer meeting but from the table not the pulpit. Gradually however I felt more and more uncomfortable when sitting in the pew just listening to sermons, particularly when things were not very well expressed and some times serious errors were being spoken. It grieved me to listen to the ignorant talk of the religious whose eyes were blinded to the truth of God and who sought to bind burdens on peoples backs. This issue over the hat and lady visitor was an example - not that I am against a head covering for a women but what had happened to this lady visitor was wrong. More light was needed. I had also been shocked by the reluctance of the Bierton church to use the chapel to conduct a meeting to forming people of the error of the Papal system of Rome, and how we might act righteously in the present day since the Pope was to visit Britain that year.

    I saw the Pope on the TV screen when he was at Wembley Stadium and the whole crowd, thousands of them, was singing praise to the Pope. They were singing, “He’s got the Whole world in his hand’, and the Pope received that praise. I saw it and heard it with my own eyes and ears. This man is an Anti Christ. I felt I must speak out otherwise the stones would.

    When I first became a Christian I did not believe in Bible Colleges, thinking that I did not want men to teach me, I wanted God to teach me. From what little I had seen of vicars and so called trained men I felt Bible Colleges were of no use because these people are not even born again.

    So I dismissed the idea of Bible College for me. Never the less I wanted to learn all about God and speak his word in clarity and truth. This desire turned me to read about the lives of men of God. I went from reading the Beano and Dandy comics and James Bond books to the Bible and then on to the writings of John Bunyan, Dr John Gill, John Owen and Calvin in a matter of two or three years. The word list I had from reading these books (words I needed to learn) were several sides of A4 paper. I was learning to read.

    I was encourage by my wife -to- be to go to a Technical Training College to learn how to teach people in electronics. I took one year out from work and studied at Wolverhampton Polytechnic and finally graduated with a teaching Certificate in Education. This was the year 1977.


    David (bottom centre right) at Wolverhampton Polytechnic

    I had another agenda, believing I could learn from secular professional teachers how to teach. I would then be able to take the substance of what God was showing me and then present it to men in a way they could understand. This was my desire. I took on my first teaching post at Luton College of Higher Education and commenced teaching in 1978.

    It was during this time at Luton College and at Bierton Church that I felt it right to explain my desire to the church, as I believed I was being called of God to preach the word of Jesus Christ.

    Mr Hill of Luton, a minister of the Gospel, and Mr Hope of Reading, a minister of the Gospel, invited me to share with them my calling. They concluded that my leading was right. It was put to the church that I should preach and exercise any gift I had. This was duly done and a few people came from Oxford and Eaton Bray church to hear the word of God spoken.

    It was agreed without question that I should preach as the Lord opened up the way and from that day letters came from different churches, asking me to preach at various Strict Baptist Chapels throughout the country. I was being sent out to preach with the blessing of the church.

    In a very short period of time I was engaged to preach at the following Strict Baptist Chapels throughout the country:

    Luton “Ebenezer” Reading “Hope Chapel”

    Wantage Oakington in Cambridgeshire

    Matfield Blackheath

    Eaton Bray Oxford

    Bradford Churches in Bedfordshire

    Peterborough Stamford

    Leicester Horsham

    Romford New Mill

    In fact I was so overwhelmed with being asked to preach at so many places, I could have been preaching three times on a Sunday every week of the year and during the week at weeknight services. This was on top of my full-time work, which involved teaching two nights a week at Luton College as well as continuing my studies with the Open University.

    I was so concerned to put God first and to fulfil my calling that when my twins, David and Eleanor were born, on 29th October 1983, and were due to come home, I postponed bringing my wife and babies home from hospital in order not to cancel a preaching engagement that I had made in the fear of God.

    Various people to this day tell me I was wrong, that I should have put my wife first. What do you think?

    A Spanking from the pulpit (Isaac deserved it)

    I was very conscious of the exhortation that if I spared the rod I would spoil the child (Prov. 13. 24). The other scripture which spoke to me was that of how a good father ought to “ Rule his house well, his children being obedient and subject to him “ and also that if I did not know how to rule my own house how could I take care of the church of God (1 Tim 3. 5 - 12. I believed the scripture spoke clearly about corporal punishment and it was a must. (Prov 29. 15 and Prov 23. 13).

    The first occasion I felt the need to exercise corporal punishment was on Isaac when he was very small. As I write this now I smile and I am sure he would do too. I still think he needs corporal punishment now at the age of 20 years old.

    Isaac had done something, which warranted correction, and I felt this occasion I would use the rod of correction. It was a small thin garden cane, a green one. I made him stand away from me and I said it hurt me more than it would hurt him, to have to correct him like this. He was about 4 years old. I smacked his bottom with the can and he jumped and couldn’t say a word for a few moments. Then he burst into tears saying, “ daddy that stings”. From that day forward that cane was called the “stinging stick”. That was not the last time the stinging stick was used.

    On another occasion I was preaching in Bierton Chapel and Isaac and Esther were sitting with their mum on the back row of the chapel. During the sermon Isaac was playing his mum up and he would not sit still and kept messing about. His behaviour

    was unacceptable. I was gradually becoming cross with him until I felt I must do some thing about it.

    I stopped speaking and said to the congregation “ excuse me” and climbed down the pulpit steps and went to the back of the chapel. I picked Isaac up and took him out side the chapel and informed him I was displeased with his behaviour and gave his three spanks on the bottom. With this he burst into tears and when he stopped I took him back in the chapel and placed him besides his mum. I then went back into the pulpit and apologised for the interruption and proceeded with the sermon as though nothing had happened.

    I heard afterwards that the spanking was heard through out the chapel and a couple of the ladies were horrified at what I had done but they said nothing to me. I felt I had done the right thing, using the rod of correction to drive foolishness from the child (prove. 22. 15).

    Is Corporal punishment what Jesus wants?

    Prov. 10.12 Hatred stirs up strife but love covereth all sins

    Prov. 10.13 A rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding Prov. 13. 24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: he that loveth him

    chasteneth him betimes

    Prov 19. 18 Chasten thy son whilst there is hope. Spare not for his crying Prov 19. 29 Judgements are prepared for scorners and stripes for the

    back of fools

    Prov 19. 30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly

    Prov 22 .15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child but the rod of correction will drive it far from him

    Prov 23 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die

    Prov. 29. 15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame

    Answer: Yes.

    The Papal visit 1982

    This year Pope John Paul II was due to visit Britain. This was to be the first time in 400 years. Very few people saw the significance of this and I felt the need to inform people about such an event.

    I wrote to the Bierton Church, which met on the 16th January 1982, (this was 14 years to the day of my conversion) asking if we could invite a member of The British Council of Protestant Christian Churches to speak to us so that we could hear good Godly principles to guide us at that time. I suggested it would be helpful for many churches in the area.

    Mrs E. said that the Bierton Chapel was not the place to hold such a meeting but some other place like the village hall. Mr King said they had Roman Catholic friends and would not wish to offend them!

    From this time I realised the church at Bierton no longed loved the truth and I would see the hand of God held out against her.

    I remembered “They that honour me I will honour”.

    I held the meeting in my house and invited several people, from different churches, and Rev Gordon Ferguson came and preached to us.

    After that time I was very much alert to the activity of the Church of Rome and the trend for the Anglican Church to move closer to Rome. About one year after this time I read an article in a magazine called “Contact”, by Rev D.B., an Anglican Vicar at Walton Street Church of England. I was moved to write to him.

    Waddesdon Hill Strict Baptist Chapel

    In 1983 a Mr Rose of Luton, a former trustee of the Waddesdon Hill Strict Baptist Chapel wrote to me whilst I was living at Bierton, asking if we at Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church would wish to hold evangelistic meetings at the Waddesdon Strict Baptist Chapel during the time that Billy Graham was preaching in England and Mission England was happening. He suggested that I wrote to the new Trustees who were now the Metropolitan Association of Strict Baptist Churches.

    The Waddesdon Hill chapel was a very quaint chapel out on its own along the village road in Waddesdon. It had closed down due to too few people attending. Each year since 1976 I had attended an anniversary service there conducted by a Mr Collier, the minister of Linslaid Strict Baptist church, and Mr Hill of the Luton Strict Baptist church.


    Waddesdon Hill Strict Baptist Chapel

    Our church at Bierton was not interested in Billy Graham or want anything to do with Mission England, so I wrote to the Trustees explaining what had happened and asking if I and few others could use the chapel, during this period, to preach the gospel. I explained this was Mr Roses request and I was very willing to be involved. I explained we had a few Christian friends who would wish to be involved including the church at Eaton Bray.

    Letter to Mr Knight (Chairman of the trust)

    Dear Mr K 27/4/84

    With reference to our telephone conversation of Tuesday I write on behalf of a number of people with a request to hold public meetings for the purpose of preaching the Word of God and worship at the chapel situated at Waddesdon Hill.

    This initial proposal is to hold three or four meetings during the summer months, say the 1st Saturday of each month, June, July, August and September, in the PM.

    I am a Particular Baptist (and minister of the Gospel) in membership of Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church. Whilst our church does not wish to be responsible for such meetings they have no objection to my personal involvement and organisation of any such meetings.

    Enclosed is a subscriber list of names offering mutual help and support.

    I understand you are to meet shortly and we would be grateful if permission could be granted to our request. If this is possible may we have a copy of the “Articles of Faith” and clauses in the trust deed with your reply?

    Yours Sincerely, David Clarke.

    My request turned down

    My request was turned down, as they wanted a properly formed church to take over the chapel such as the Limes Avenue Strict Baptist Church. I found this way of doing things very chilling and it helped to form my view of such organised associations. I would not commend them.

    Shortly after this affair I seceded from the Bierton Church. A few of us were meeting in our home at Bierton. I was informed that the Waddesdon Hill Chapel was up for sale. I thought perhaps this was a way forward and we could use the chapel to meet and we might be in the position to form a church. I wrote to the Trustees explaining my situation. I asked them to forward me a copy of the trust deed, as I felt since I had attended the meetings held by the former Trustees it was quite probable that we would qualify to use the chapel if we fitted the characters set out in the Trust Deed.

    I was invited to meet with the committee and put forward my case and during the meeting one of the trustees said they wanted some one dynamic to go into Waddesdon village and make an impact. I thought this was not how I saw things. God was well able to do it His way. I replied that it sounded as though he wanted the Lord Jesus to go there.

    I was offered the Chapel on the basis that I formed a church using their confession of faith - The 1966 Strict Baptist Confession. I said I could not that because I believed them to be wrong, but would be able to do so if they were stated as the Gospel Standard Articles without added ones. I was turned down.

    Not being prepared to let it go I offered to buy the chapel and since they were going to sell it I would offer one penny more than the highest bidder. They were not prepared to do this. So I left it.

    The Papal Visit. I write to D.B. an Anglican Vicar

    Since the recent visit of the Pope to Britain, in 1982, I was compelled to examine the claims of the papacy and the Roman Catholic Church. During August 1983 I read an Article in Mays Edition of “Contact” written by the Rev, D.B. I was moved in spirit being very concerned and wrote to the author.

    Here is the letter:

    Dear Mr B. 17th August 1983

    Having read your article, which appeared in the May issue of “Contact” (1982), entitled Roman Catholicism, I am constrained to write to you as a preliminary step. You express views concerning Roman Catholicism and Pope John Paul II, which are not shared by many Christians.

    You indicate your views concerning the Pope by stating that John Paul the II is a man of deep spirituality and courage and therefore worthy of our respect. You say he is a Christian and a Christian Leader, although you differ on the authority he and his church lay claim to. Never the less there are common grounds between Anglicans and Roman Catholic as fellow Christians, and both belong to a Christian Church.

    You list four basic areas of common ground for this recognition:

    1. They are both people of Christ.

    2. They are both people of the Bible

    3. They have the sacraments of Baptism and Holy Communion D They are both people of the Holy Spirit.

    You then express the real differences, which you believe ought to be remembered.

    Now, as a minister of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ I write to you believing that your article and beliefs do endanger the flock of Christ, over which you are an overseer and I would be failing in my responsibility should I remain silent and not approach you.

    May I then go through some of the points you mention?

    1. They are both people of Christ.

      The justification for saying this is that both churches call upon the name of Christ and worship Him as Saviour and Lord. My question to you is- where is the evidence of this? To own him as Saviour and Lord is to call upon no other name than his. This is demonstrated by rejecting all others, whether Lords or Lordesses. Is this true of both churches? My evidence shows that the present Pope John Paul II calls upon Mary the Queen of Heaven in prayer. (Quotation from “Return to Poland” Collins)-

      Before the Black Madonna of Jasn Gora (where he had many times in the past whispered “totus tuus” i.e.. completely yours) he re- consecrated Poland to the immaculate heart of Mary as the Queen of the popish kingdom.

      He further told the image “ I consecrate to you the whole Church- every where and to the ends of the earth. I consecrate to you all humanity; all men and women. All the peoples and nations. I consecrate to you Europe and all the continents, I consecrate to you Rome and Poland (who are) now united through your servant. Mother accept us all! Mother do not abandon us! Mother be our Guide!

      This shows a plain contradiction to your first statement that the Church of Rome calls upon Christ’s name as Lord. How can it be said of him that he is a man of God of

      deep spirituality worthy of our respect and a Christian. A man stooped in idolatry and spiritual darkness.

    2. They are both people of the Bible.

      The evidence for this statement is that since the Vatican Council, 20 years ago, the Roman Catholic Church has put great emphasis on Bible study for individuals and groups. With a profound effect.

      But which Bible do they advance to be the word of God is my question. My evidence is this that:

      1. The tradition of the Roman Catholic Church is that it has equal authority with the Bible and the Apocryphal books must be considered as scripture. (Council of Trent 1545). Hence the Bible, which the Catholics read, contains the Apocrypha because they require 11 Maccabees 12 verses 40 - 45 to teach and maintain their heretical doctrines of prayers for the dead. (The Apocrypha must be accepted as scripture under the penalty of a mortal sin).

      2. The Bible is subject to the Church's interpretation and the Douay or Confraternity

      i.e. those versions, which are tailored to teach Catholic Doctrine, and notes are put forward as Scripture. Again it is still a mortal sin for a Catholic to read a Protestant version except the R.S.V. (Catholic Edition). Hence a Catholic believer is not free to read the Scripture and interpret it for himself. The Roman Catholic Church insists she is infallible as the Pope directs it. So when a Catholic reads they must be directed by the Church for interpretation

    3. Both have the Sacraments of Baptism and Holy Communion.

      This however is without qualification. My evidence is that the Roman Catholic Church have the Mass and a Sacrificing priest, both of which are heretical and opposed to the Holy Communion or Lords Supper.

      As for baptism, the Roman Catholic Church maintains the doctrine of baptismal regeneration by which means all past sins are forgiven. Hence baptism is essential to salvation. (See Trent catechism- quote- Infants, unless regenerated unto God by the grace of baptism, whether their parents are Christian of infidels, are born to eternal misery and perdition). Hence we see the Church of Rome has not the same Christian Ordinances but the reverse.

    4. They are both people of the Holy Spirit

    Your evidence for this is that the renewal movement has made a good impression upon the Roman Catholic Church with the effect of bringing many Christians together even within the Church of England. Here you place undoubted reliance upon renewal and gathering together, imputing this work to the Holy Spirit. Hence concluding the Spirit of God makes no distinction, so who are we to put up doctrinal barriers hindering our gathering together with whomever we please?

    Here I would ask the following: If both communions have the same Spirit of truth, light and love for Jesus Christ why are they not lead in the same way. If the Holy Spirit says, “ Come out of her my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins" (Rev. 18

    verse 4) what spirit is it that keeps them in the Church of Rome or moves the Anglican Community to seek such unity with her. Rome is an Apostate Church.

    If the spirit which is in the Roman Catholic Church, which leads them to blaspheme the Son of God in the sacrifice of the mass and bow down to idols, and seek the aid of departed saints, then what spirit moved Luther and the reformers to obey the truth and leave Rome and the Papal Pontiff and establish true Christian Churches?

    What biblical evidence do we have that the Roman Catholic Church is possessed and moved by the Spirit of God.

    You also express your personal belief in respect of the Pope being no Anti- Christ, but the Church of England and her founders held opposite views. Remember Cranmer, Latimer and Ridley. We should surely keep as close to the Bible as these fathers in the faith, and defend the little ones of Christ’s fold against all error and preserve them as a chaste virgin unto Him (2 Cor 11 verse 2)

    Now my prayer to God is that Christian men of Aylesbury be united in Christ’s cause and truth having love for the brethren and his dear children in the bonds of true Gospel unity and peace.

    May the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be the cause, and the communion of the Holy Spirit the means, and life of His Church now and forever more?

    Yours in Christian concern,

    David Clarke.

    I am a Church member of Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church

    For clarification regarding baptism of infants, the Mass and prayers for the dead

    There is no mention of prayers for the dead in the bible. The story of Dives and Lazarus states that there was no way that dead Dives could talk and warn his brothers of his suffering. Praying for the dead is false teaching and has no benefit for them. This teaching and goes against all what scripture says.

    Catholic doctrine on the Mass is: The bread and wine is converted from mere bread and wine into the actual human flesh and blood of Jesus. They teach that a miracle takes place by the hands and words of an ordained Catholic priest. The terms Hocus Pocus comes from the magical words of a magician, just like the words of the priest who uses them when he performs this miracle. Then, only then can the priest offer up the Host (body and blood of Jesus), as a sacrifice to God. They teach that this is a real sacrifice, not the blood of an animal, but the actual body and blood of Jesus, the Son of God. They teach it is only by this means that men’s sins are removed. The person partaking in this ceremony, or Mass, is required to believe this doctrine absolutely without question, on the pain of eternal damnation, if they don’t. It is wrong.

    The bible states clearly that Jesus died once and for all his people’s sins and for all time, on the cross at Calvary. Those on that occasion, the sins of the whole world, (Jew and Gentiles) were removed by the sacrifice of His body and shed blood. This sacrifice is not repeated and can never be repeated. It was a once and for all sacrifice. Now there are no more sacrifices only spiritual ones, and all Christians are Priest unto God, who is able to offer sacrifices of praise and thanks giving to God. It over this was issue that the Reformation in Europe and the England fought its battles.

    The bible only refers to believers’ baptism. Upon confession of faith the believer is dipped and comes up out of the water so symbolize what has already taken place in his life. Baptism does not do anything to a person of infuse some super natural

    Second birth. Catholic doctrine teaches that when any person is baptized (sprinkled with Holy water) a supernatural new birth occurs. Unless this supernatural birth takes place they are not saved from the damnation of hell. So it is important to them to baptize their children and adults who were not sprinkled, as a child, as only than are the born again.

    Christian teaching is that the new birth is a supernatural act of God the Holy Spirit Himself. As a result that person has desires to seek God and are able to believe the gospel and follow Christ.

    Catholic doctrine teaches unless we are baptized, by a Priest we are not born again and under the curse of eternal damnation. Those Children who die in infancy are damned.

    Like wise the Mass. unless we partake of it and believe it we are under the same condemnation.

  15. I go fishing for men

In May 1983 I was engaged to preach at the church in Bierton on Sunday 5th June. I have always had that desire to catch men for Jesus Christ but how do you do it? I was now living in Aylesbury and a lot of my former friends were still in and around Aylesbury, having no hope and without God in the world. I felt compelled to do some thing to get the message of the love of God in Jesus Christ to them somehow.

The Bucks Herald Thursday 19th May 1983 price 8d.


David fishes for men - Bierton Meeting 5th June 1983

Jesus had saved me and now that I was preaching at Bierton Church I decided to go and ask the Bucks Herald, a local newspaper, to give me some free advertising. I simply went to the Bucks Herald office and told them my story. I said I wanted to reach all my old friends to tell them about the Lord on the 5th of June and to say that they were all welcome.

I was prepared to advertise but I know I was cheeky in asking for it free. Little did I realise it but I was giving them their front-page news for the week. Before I knew it the photographer was out to see me and a reporter was taking notes for a story. It all happened so quickly

The story appeared as above on the front page of the Bucks Herald on Thursday May 19th 1983. This sermon was video recorded and can be viewed on our website Or channel davidolores

What happened next

I was landed with a problem as I did not expect any of this to happen and I hadn’t informed the church and so I felt the need to explain what had happened in case it offended anyone. I felt relieved when no one was upset.

I felt the need to be very careful because in October 1982 I had already found some opposition from one part of the church and I was not out to cause trouble. They were against a certain good minister and visiting preacher because he had used the term Evangelical Repentance and that he read the Evangelical Times. I had defended this man in every way I knew how, but for the sake of peace the church decided not to ask this man to preach again. I was very sad and disturbed by this and I believed from that time Satan was provoked by my actions. There was more to come. For this reason I felt the need to be extra careful.

The following week I went fishing - looking in the pubs and visiting people's homes looking for my former friends in crime, in order to bring them along to hear what Jesus had done for me and could do for them.

It wasn’t long before the national news network were on to me and wanted the story which I believe appeared in one of the national newspapers. I was disappointed in the write up because I felt it was trivialising the reality of what was happening this is the official transcript:

Dear David, Here’s what we put out on the national Telex service. Looking forward to seeing you at the service June 5th. Yours Peter Game

83-05-25 16:43 462 Title Service From Peter Game, OX and Bucks NA

Catch: Service

Reformed crook David Clarke is hot on the trail of his mates in crime. He’s turned detective to trace thieves, drug pushers, burglars, bandits and drunks in a massive one man round-up aimed at changing their lives. And it could result in the most bizarre meeting of shady characters a town has ever known.

David, 33, wants to pack them all into a tiny church at Bierton, Bucks, and tell them how God saved him from spending a life behind bars. And if the Local CID force at nearby Aylesbury, Bucks wants to turn up and join in the hymn singing too they are welcome. David, a married man with two children from Aylesbury Road, Bierton, is a lay preacher in the Baptist church. He said, “God helped me and can help all my old buddies too”.

David, an Electronics lecturer at a Polytechnic explained: “ I ‘ve already persuaded some old villainous pals to come along. I want to pack the church with criminals, but it’s going to be a tough job”.

The former thief and drug user left Borstal aged 18 and decided to lead a life of luxury based on crime. “I was in a car ringing business, thieving vehicles and knocking them out again,” he confessed. “ I’ve broken into an old peoples home to steal a colour telly, taken garage equipment, nicked from tills, walked off with speed boat engines, and taken drugs. I’ve even sold drugs and got involved in permissive sex. “ There were times when I used to keep an axe and a mallet in my car just in case. Now it has all changed.

His life took a drastic change when he “met Jesus Christ” during LSD trip and joined the Baptist Church. And when detectives questioned him about an offence he did not commit he confessed to 24 he did carry out. He added “ I’ve had a clean sheet for 13 years. I’m not going to preach the Bible at the bad boys --- just show them how God helped me and let them make up their own minds”.


Memo to news desk: Service on June 5th. We believe this man is absolutely genuine in his actions.

Memo Ends

Outcome of the meeting

The meeting went ahead as planned but not many people turned up. I heard that some did not come because they did not wish to be associated with each other. Pat Jones and Malcolm Kirkham were now enemies; Pat Jones had not long ago been around to Malcolm's house to blast him with a shotgun. Malcolm had been involved in drug pushing and other things.

Mike West said he wasn’t prepared to sit or be associated with drug pushers and criminals etc.

I had spoken as faithfully as I could of the Lord Jesus Christ and I can remember saying from the pulpit how good God had been to me, blessing me with a good job, a

wife, a nice house, children, being in church and many friends. What more could a natural man want? I had comments made by several people that God had really blessed me providentially and I knew it.

On reflection it seems from this time I was battered from every way. First my church membership was lost, then my health, which affected my call to preach. Then my children were attacked, then my home was lost, and then my job was lost. Then my faith in God was lost which led to me giving up on my marriage. I write about all these events in the next chapters.

As I write this it reminds me of the Bible story of Job who was truly blessed of God, and then Satan came seeking to destroy his faith. God gave Satan leave to do it but in the end Job is better off than at his beginning. Thanks be to God. I hope my story will reflect the same faithfulness of God to me.

This meeting was a video and can be viewed on our website: or Channel Davidolores

I preach a moving sermon

After the issue regarding the Holy Table I wrote to Mrs E. but she returned the letter unread. She informed me that she knew the truth and nothing would change her mind. See my letter in article “The Bierton Crisis"

On the 26th October 1983 I had the responsibility to lead the prayer meeting on the Wednesday evening and speak from the scriptures, as I felt led. On this occasion four of the congregation got up and left, my sermon was obviously a moving sermon. See article “Bierton Crisis” for the full sermon.

Essence of the sermon:

I explained that I had been called by grace 14 years ago and I testified to them of the goodness of God, in saving me from a life of crime, drug taking etc. I had learned about Jesus through reading the Bible. I told them that I had come to the Bierton church because they too had knowledge of the truth of Jesus Christ, and his death for our sins. I told them of His justifying righteousness and the Sovereignty of God in all his work towards us.

I said that I believed God had called me to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ and I had responsibilities to them all to make known what God had shown me.

I said the building was not the “House of God”. There were no such things as holy tables etc. and we must not reverence these things.

At this point a member of the church shouted out. “Well, is not this the house of God” pointing to the roof of the building. Then another rose to their feet saying this is just like a church meeting and walked out. Then three other persons, Mr King and his wife and John Snuggs got up and left.

I was staggered and alarmed for I had not raised my voice nor spoke severely or in a hard way. Never the less the truth as revealed in Jesus Christ had provoked this reaction. I then recalled a dream that I had.

The Holy Table

About August 1983, I took my children to church and I had my brother's daughter with me - she would have been about 5 years old. After the Sunday school I happened to place her cardigan on the table at the front of the chapel, this was before the morning service (I say meeting). This was the table used when conducting church affairs and for the communion. The pulpit was behind this, where the preacher stood and preached. The table was where the hymns were announced and given out.

Mrs E. in her lovely manner came up to me and said I was to take the cardigan off “The Holy Table”. I was shocked by this remark. What was this all about- we now have a Holy Table? I was dismayed at such heresy and after the morning meeting I asked the church members to stay behind whilst I established what was going on. I began to realise I was unearthing more religious errors, which would have to be dealt with sooner than later.

I asked the few members of the church, in front of Mrs E., about the “Holy table”. I said there was no such thing as a holy table in the New Testament. This was religious error just like the Roman Catholics and their superstitions. I said I would not stand by and let this error go unchecked. To my surprise and disappointment Miss G Ellis became angry and walked out saying she was fed up with it all. She said she would not want a pair of shoes put on the kitchen table and she walked out in anger.

I thought to my self, we are in two different worlds. What was going on in the minds of the church and congregation at Bierton? I felt so taken up with zeal for the cause of God and truth that I could have taken a large axe and cut the table up in front of every one. I decided to do it another way. I would use the “sword of the spirit”.

Escorted out of St. Albans Abbey after a protest

In October 1983 I was informed that officials of St. Albans Abbey, a Church of England establishment, were for the first time in 400 years giving official recognition to the practice of the Roman Catholic Mass. This was probably as a direct result of the Papal visit to Britain in 1982.

The Bucks Herald THURSDAY, 19th OCTOBER 1983

Anti-Pope Rumpus in Abbey

By Stevie Brooks


Photo 1 Escorted out of St Albans Abbey October 1983

They had invited a Roman Catholic Father Plourde to serve in the Anglican Church and he was to offer Mass on a regular basis at the St. Albans Abbey. This was in fact illegal and against the principles of the Act of Settlement.

No one seemed to care or could see what was happening. I had studied the teaching of the Roman Catholic Church and found it in very serious error.

I felt constrained to support any kind of protest just to let people know what was going on throughout the world. The Mass had no place in the Christian faith.

I decided to take my two children Isaac John (5) and Esther Jane (4) with me to protest against this evil.

I attended the meeting on a Saturday afternoon and before very long a Mr Scott Pearson of the British Council of Protestant Churches stood up and made a formal protest. He was escorted out.

I waited a while and just before the meeting resumed I stood up and made my protest. I too was escorted out of the meeting with Isaac and Esther in my hands.

This event hit the headline news again in Aylesbury and also in the local news in Luton these articles appear as follows:

NEWS/GAZETTE, October 20, 1983

Teacher’s protest in Abbey

A Luton college lecturer was ejected from St. Albans Abbey after a stand-up row in the middle of a special service.

David Clarke was escorted from the building after protesting about involvement of a Roman Catholic priest in the proceedings.

This week 34- year old Mr Clarke, who lecturers in electronics at Luton College of Higher Education, Park Square, told why he had challenged the welcoming of Father Robert Plourde to the service.

He said: To have a Roman Catholic priest appointed as an assistant in an Anglican Church is contrary to the Church of England articles of religion.

The service had been stopped by a protest from Rev. Scott Pearson, the Baptist minister of Maulden, representing the British Council of Protestant Christian Churches.

He left the Abbey, but before the ceremony could resume father- of- two Mr Clarke stood up to voice his opinions.

“ I told the congregation that the involvement of a Popish person was against Christian principles and offensive. I was escorted out of the Abbey with my two children.

He said the welcoming of Father Plourde and the Methodist minister the Rev Donald Lee on Saturday last week was part of a move to bring the churches together.

Mr Clarke of Aylesbury Road, Bierton Buckinghamshire, who sometimes preaches in the Luton Area, said he was saved from a life of crime and drug taking through Jesus Christ when He spoke to him when experiencing a bad LSD Trip.

I had some opposition and response via

The Bucks Herald, Thursday 20th October 1983 An evil wind is blowing

Sir, - It was with a feeling of sick despair, all too often felt in these times, that I read in this week's issue of your paper the account of David Clarke’s conduct in St Albans Abbey.

In his position as a preacher at his local church he has maybe raised doubt in the minds of many and laid his own church open to criticism and most unfairly.

There is an evil wind blowing through the world and the despairing cries of victims caught in the midst of sectarian wars. Above their cries are heard louder voices declaiming “We do this for God” and each names God in different tongues.

Men and women of good faith striving for peace and brotherhood brought about the delicate and vulnerable progress towards unification of the various denominations slowly and arduously. Such a balance could be disturbed and for what purpose?

Search the Bible that you are so prominently featured holding, Mr Clarke, and there you find that Jesus preached love, compassion and tolerance -. Not the condemning of hatred against those of us, of every faith and creed, who are still striving towards further enlightenment.

Christ’s teachings are simple and clear cut. Are you certain you are following the true leader?

Mrs Cecilia Brooks

30 York Place, Aylesbury.

Playing “Fantastic tricks”

Sir, - Like myself, many of your readers must have been filled with dismay to see your recent headlines “Anti - Pope rumpus in Abbey”.

They must also have regretted that, when the two great Christian leaders, the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury, are striving to promote peace and understanding between religious denominations, well- meaning fanatics should seek to destroy their endeavours.

Half the cold blooded murders in Ireland wear the cloak of religion as elsewhere in the world, whilst the Russians persecute Baptists and the Mujahedeen, and in Iran the unfortunate Baha’is - men, women and children - are martyred for their faith.

Do we want the days of the Tudors to come back and flames rekindled at Amersham or Oxford?

No one should suppose that tolerance and indifference are one and the same. The tolerance in which I believe means respect for others and for all God’s creation - man and beast and plant.

It also means love for one’s neighbour but, as Shakespeare wrote; Man, proud man, dressed in a little brief authority, plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven and makes the angels weep”.

K.M.D. Dunbar Firethorn London Road Aston Clinton


The Lord through Malcolm Kirkham encouraged me. I was moved to write my reply to the newspaper and it appeared on the 27th October 1983, which was as follows:

Cannot Remain Silent

Sir, - I did not wish to cause hatred, violence or anger when making my protest over a popish person now conducting the mass at the Anglican Church at St. Albans.

Can it not be seen my actions were of those of a loving and faithful Christian? All Christians believe, “faithful are the wounds of a friend “.

My protest was based on the fact that the Roman Catholic Mass has no place in the Christian Church since it is a blasphemy against the Lord Jesus Christ. (Article 31 Church of England).

The Roman Catholic Church proclaims that a person cannot be saved unless he partakes of the sacrifice of the mass, nor can he experience the salvation of the Lord Jesus Christ.

My concern was for those newly seeking the Lord Jesus Christ and I wished to indicate to them the devices of those who should know better.

I have a wife and family and twins on the way. I have a responsible lecturing post and teach people of all ages. I am experienced in danger and believe I should point out such dangers to the innocent.

I am currently teaching the Gospel to a now reformed drug pusher, criminal and convict. I am trying to direct him and his wife to the Lord Jesus Christ the Saviour and not the Mass or any other device of men.

To Cecilia Brooks and K.M. Dunbar, who believe many were horrified and dismayed, may I say I think not, but be consoled with the words of a wise man (Acts 5.38) “Refrain from these fears and anxieties for if my actions be merely of myself it will come to naught: but if it be of God, ye cannot over throw it, lest happily, ye be found even to speak evil of the evil wind, that is said to be blowing, when in fact it is the Spirit of God.

As a preacher of Christ’s love to men, I cannot remain silent but must oppose those kisses, which, though ever so sweet, are deceitful.

My home is open to all that are genuinely seeking the truth in the Lord Jesus Christ. You may also come to see the church at Bierton to hear the Word of God spoken. DAVID CLARKE (Minister of the Gospel) 27/20/83

Rescuing Michael's Roles Royce

Whilst these things were happening my brother got into serious difficulties. His business was failing and he became very depressed - so much so that he did not know how to sort some of his problems. He came to me one day explaining he had sold his Roles Royce to a person in Milton Keynes for £7000 and he was still owed

£3,500. He was too ill to sort it out. The person kept giving one excuse after another as to why he could not pay the money.

I felt indignant and was not prepared to sit down and see someone take advantage of my brother because he was ill and could not sort his problems out.

I said to Michael "Come on, I will go with you and get it sorted". I dressed in my Crombie overcoat and suite and looked very official and we went to this person's house in Milton Keynes. I told Michael not to worry I would deal with any problems. When the person answered the door, early one morning, I said who I was and what we had come for. I told him that I was a Christian and we intended to sort out the issue with the Roles Royce. The bloke looked at me 'gone out.'

Michael decided he wanted the car back and so it was agreed that he would pay back the £3500 in cash and take the car. I found out that the previous deal had been done between another person as well as this man and the car was in his garage somewhere else. Also a problem with a finance company had arisen. This all seamed straight forward and we left with the intention (or so I thought) to return with the £3500 cash and collect the car that day.

My brother explained that he understood that these men had raised money through a finance company and he had only got half the money. I then feared if he gave up the

£3500 cash to them he would loss that as well and the finance company would claim ownership of the car. He had already gone to the police but the police said it was not a problem they could deal with so my brother felt real down about the whole issue. He said he could not remember signing any forms with a finance company but I began to feel the case was not as straight as it first seemed. Michael kept saying he could not remember what had happened.

I got the impression Michael had been party to some deal and was keeping some thing from me and these men had just tucked him up for £3500. And they now had no money to pay. Michael has informed me years later that he did not know about this and these men took him advantage of, whilst he was ill.

Michael decided to get the car back so he paid a couple of his heavy friends £250 to go and collect the car. Sure enough the next day the Roles Royce was in bed in my garage at Bierton, out of the way. I felt much better even though my brother didn’t. This did not stop my brother worrying because apparently there was more to it than first met the eye - there was a problem with the finance company. I felt let down by Michael for not telling me all this. Had he told me all this in the beginning instead of being devious. (Michael now tells me I was wrong) I could have helped him. In the end the finance company contacted Michael and he by then realised the car belonged to the finance company. Michael, through not being able to cope with the worry, agreed to return the car as he realised the deal they had done was not straightforward.

This was all out of my hands and on reflection I think it would have been better to keep the car and give the finance company the £3500 but at the time I was not able to sort the issue out for Michael because he had kept things from me.

I felt upset for my brother because he had lost his car and all that money. We are always wise after an event.

  1. Leaving Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church

    The events, which took place in Bierton Church, had convinced me that Satan’s kingdom was being plundered. I had been instrumental in causing no small stir in the church. By October 1983 of that year the church was dysfunctional. I had been engaged to preach and conduct the communion service but felt unable and that it was wrong for me to do so. I believed that until the issues were sorted out and the church was in order and of one mind, in the Lord it would be wrong for me to conduct the communion service.

    Mrs E., the person who had objected to the term's evangelical repentance, of course had pointed the finger at me. It was said that I had caused these difficulties since April 1993, because I had written to Mr King, a member of our church and a preacher. Mr King had been advancing views of general redemption, which was opposed to particular redemption. Our articles of Faith clearly stated a belief in particular redemption. I had attempted to correct these errors by speaking to Mr King and finally writing to him. This letter was said by Mr King to be “full of condemnation” and Mr King had read parts of that letter to the church before he resigned. This letter is recorded in “The Bierton Crisis".

    Not only this but the issue of ladies wearing hats had surfaced (not that I was against women wearing a head covering), and then there was the issue of “The Holy Table”.

    Finally the issue of the Law and the Gospel surfaced. It was now being maintained that the Sabbath Day (the Mosaic Sabbath) was to be kept by everyone. Where as I had taught that the Lord Jesus Christ is the sum and substance of the Sabbath. He is the rest for the people of God and we must enter into this rest, not the Sabbath day according to the Law. I asserted every day was the Sabbath. It seemed to get worse.

    I actually felt the Old Serpent and I was about to stamp on it. Looking back I realise I had been contending not against flesh and blood but against those principalities and powers, which had kept many believers in bondage and chains.

    I felt in the end it was I who was causing the trouble, but I now believe on reflection that was satanic suggestion. I had been standing for the truths of the Lord Jesus Christ but had met with all kinds of false religious spirits, which I named and opposed.

    This resulted in me seceding from the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church on 26th June 1984. I did this because I saw no hope if people wished to remain in darkness. I could not act in faith. A full and detailed, accurate, account of the events leading to my secession is found in my first book, “The Bierton Crisis” ISBN number 0-9539473-2-7, which will prove to be a great help to any one struggling with these issues. Available from:

    I Preach at Home

    Having left the Bierton church I found it very difficult to adjust to our new situation. I considered going to another church but which one was the question. In the meantime

    we met at home and I preached to my family and friends on Sunday mornings. I felt I had been under siege and my home was now my refuge. I was now preaching in the same room that Gordon Ferguson had preached during 1982.

    I did however believe that we should be in a local church but where could we join? I was very aware of the failings in the Gospel Standard way of things, as at Bierton. Bierton church had in fact fallen from the way of grace of God. Even though their words were full of the language, their Articles of Faith were clear that the Gospel is the rule of life for the believer but in practice the Law of Moses was their law. Also the position of their added Articles was very shaky and I found them inappropriate as a confession of faith. We found ourselves unchurched, and I believed we should do something about it.

    I sought God in prayer and felt we should be prepared to move house and job in order to be in a church where God wanted us to be.

    David Oldham, a minister from Leicester, wrote to me and asked if he could help. He invited me to spend the day with him in Leicester, to talk through things and he was a great help and support to me. I valued his offer of help very much and I thanked him to this day for his kindness.

    I seek a city whose builder and maker is God (Heb. 11 v 10)

    Having left the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church I was full well aware of the New Testament order of Christian life. Scripture teaches us that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves together (Heb. 10 verse 25) but rather be in fellowship with other believers. I sought therefore God in prayer and looked out for direction from the Lord as to where and what I should do.

    Meeting Richard Bolt

    At this time I met an old acquaintance, a Christian man called Dr John Verna. I had first met him when I first became a Christian, at the age of 20. He was a Doctor working at Stoke Mandeville Hospital, working in particular with paraplegic patients. He used to help with the hospital Christian outreach meetings, which were held every month at the hospital. Several Christians from various churches had joined a group of Christians from the Assemblies of God Church in Aylesbury to reach patients detained in Hospital. Each month patients were individually invited to the Saturday night gospel meeting held specifically, for patients and staff, in the Archery Unit of the paraplegics. They would be collected from the various wards in their beds and a different speaker each month would give a gospel address and we would pray for them.

    Dr John Verna and his wife helped and encouraged this group of Christians.

    I talked with John about my position at Bierton Church and he seemed keen to help and support me. He introduced me to a dear friend of his, a Mr Richard Bolt, from a place in Kent near Matfield. John Verna believed Richard Bolt to have an apostolic ministry.

    He and Richard Bolt came to my home and we spent quite some time together and I was encouraged by them both to continue to seek God for direction. Richard Bolt was a very straightforward man, direct, encouraging and thoughtful. He was a man of conviction and I believed he had the fear of the Lord. I respected him for his honesty and sincerity. It was good to meet him.

    I expressed my misgivings about my dealings in the Pentecostal Churches and my new position in the Strict Baptist churches.

    Both groups, it had occurred to me, went to extremes. One held to the belief in the gifts of the supernatural and Baptism in the Holy Ghost (Spirit), and looked for, and expected, manifestations of spiritual gifts in believers, including the working of miracles (Pentecostal). They were very subjective and looked inward to themselves for the evidence of God working in and through them. Whilst the other group (Strict Baptists) denied the operation of supernatural spiritual gifts, such as speaking in tongues and gifts of healing etc. but rather looked inwardly to the evidence of God's dealing with them by how unworthy they might feel to receive any thing from God. They thought that doubts of salvation were a good sign and an evidence of faith rather than presumption. Both groups depended on God the Holy Ghost to work and save. I had concluded both groups could go to extremes.

    Both Richard Bolt and John were convinced of the supernatural baptism in the Holy Ghost (spirit) and looked for and expected God to operate the nine gifts of the Spirit including the working of miracles according to Mark 16 verse 17. They believed in the fullness of New Testament Christianity and I was keen to learn and hear even though I was cautious and careful.

    One thing I observed was that Richard had lost many of his teeth and I assumed this was because he had believed God for healing and looked to God for divine health. I thought to my self that if Christians were to expect and experience divine healing in this day and age then how come Richard had so few teeth. I did not ask him about his teeth, as I did not know him sufficiently to ask such a direct and personal question.

    I meet John Metcalfe of Tyler’s Green Chapel

    Whilst speaking to Dr John Verna he informed me that he and his wife had met with John Metcalf of Penn, near High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire and that some of the people there often had a stall on the Market Square in Aylesbury, selling Christian literature and that the Bibles sold were only the Authorised King James version.

    I was interested because I had recently picked up a small tract written by John Metcalf called “The Gospel of God” which was about the claims of the Papacy and John Paul II. I desired to meet John Metcalf because I understood and agree with his writings in the tract. This had been most helpful and encouraging to me.

    John Verna and Richard Bolt left and I felt encouraged by our meeting and I decided to go and visit the Church at Penn so as to meet Mr John Metcalfe.

    One Sunday evening I took my daughter Esther, she must have been about 3 or 4 years old, and we drove to Penn and found the old chapel called Tyler’s Green Chapel. Old-fashioned metal railings enclosed it and the gate was locked with no way

    in to the front door. It felt strange because the people were inside and a meeting was being held. I thought to myself had this door been locked deliberately to give a psychological shock to late comers and the feeling of being locked out as would be the case of the 5 foolish virgins mentioned by Jesus in Matth 25 verse 2).

    It was damp outside and getting dark but I was determined to meet Mr Metcalf so Esther and I waited outside in then road until the meeting had finished. Eventually the meeting ended and the people filled out sedately and quietly. I took courage and walked up to a man I believed to be John Metcalfe. Not too tall, well dressed, with a cream or white raincoat and white or grey hair. He was very courteous when I introduced my self and explained my intent. I asked him about the chapel gates being locked for the locked gates and he smiled when I explained my thoughts about the 5 foolish virgins, he then explained that they locked the gate to prevent vandalism during the meetings as they had had trouble in the past.

    He informed his daughter and noted my persistence in waiting and that I had read his tract on John Paul the II, which seemed to encourage him. He then invited me back to his home for supper.

    Esther and I were received graciously and we exchanged much conversation. Mr Metcalfe’s daughters made a fuss of Esther and gave her chocolate biscuits. I was invited to share my testimony of how I became a Christian and I deliberately decided to tell all that took place on the night of my conversion, holding nothing back.

    (See full account of my conversion). All was very quiet and nothing was said that I remember. I explained my present situation at Bierton Strict Baptist Church and the issues I had encountered regarding Particular Redemption, the Law and Gospel, Added Articles and finally Holy Tables. I was asked about my work and family and I explained I was a Lecturer at Luton College and a minister of the Church.

    I felt greatly encouraged and noticed how nicely the house was kept. The garden was lovely, spacious, and it was beautiful. The house was old and charming just like a royal house, and John Metcalfe kept an Alsatian as a guard dog.

    John Metcalfe was a charming person, a man of conviction, - decisive and uncompromising. He seemed determined to follow God. I liked him and admired his qualities. I felt I could learn many things from this man. He had dealing with the Rev Ian Paisley but opposed him for unknown reasons. He despised the title Doctor and therefore Dr John Gill for accepting such a title. Also he had known Dr Martin Lloyd Jones and other eminent Christian ministers, but opposed many things.

    After that evening I returned another time with my wife and we were invited to attend the meeting at Tyler’s Green Chapel one Sunday morning when Mr Metcalfe would be preaching. It was arranged that one of the members of the church would look after our four children whist we attended that morning meeting. This we did. It was a remarkable sermon and I had never heard such powerful preaching. I was greatly encouraged and realised later that the substance of his sermon was contained in his publication “ Messiah”. The sermon was eloquent, powerful and I believed very faithful to the word of God. I was greatly encouraged and admired the man and wanted to support his work.

    After the meeting I was asked by Mr Metcalfe how I had got on and he seemed to be looking for feedback. I had become unaccustomed to give any kind of feedback, which could give rise to puff the old man up (rightly or wrongly), so I found this situation awkward. I kept quiet, even though I was moved, and I wanted to tell my friends to come and hear this man speak the things of God.

    It was shortly after this that Paul Rowland, a minister in the Strict Baptist Church, who also worked for the Trinitarian Bible Society, came to preach at Bierton Church. He was a great advocate of the Free Scottish Presbyterian Church system and by conviction would only sing Psalms, in Christian meetings. I spoke to Paul about John, and shortly afterwards we were invited to visit John together.

    The Shot Gun our pockets searched

    Paul and I went one evening to John Metcalfe’s home and we were received well and our coats taken to be hung up. We were invited to sit in a large lounge rather like a large study and library. It was beautifully decorated and very elegant. John Metcalfe was dressed in a smart suit and tie.

    John Metcalfe spoke about his work and recent publications the Psalms, Spiritual Songs, and Hymns of the New Testament. Paul Rowland got involved regarding the Presbyterian Church and the Scottish Psalm Book. They soon spoke on doctrinal issues regarding the Law of Moses and legal Righteousness. John Metcalfe said that he opposed the views put forward by the Calvinistic Presbyterians who maintained that the righteousness of Christ (that which he wrought by obedience to Law) was our justifying righteousness before God. He said he had had a lot of opposition from the Scottish Churches because he maintained the righteousness of Christ is not mentioned once in the New Testament, only the Righteousness of God. This righteousness of which he spoke was distinct from the righteousness of the Law.

    I was not fully aware at the time of the significance to this distinction and at first did not understand the issue. How ever the evening went well and was very stimulating and not without surprise. John Metcalfe posed a question as though it was a riddle asking, was the fruit that Adam eat good or bad. It was as though he did not expect us to answer because he reminded us that God had said his work was very good. I knew the answer straight away I did not need to think but thinking there must be some reason behind the question I awaited and Paul answered. This answer was not satisfactory to Mr Metcalfe and the issue was discussed. I did not answer because shortly after this John Metcalfe reached behind a curtain and brought out a shotgun in a dramatic gesture and proceeded to take out the cartridges. He was not amused when I laughed in amazement. He said he was suspicious of our visit, that the IRA had threatened him and he had to be very careful. He also had just been informed that our pockets had been searched to check up on us and that tobacco had been found. Mr John Metcalfe later used this against the person using derogatory comments.

    Our visit to Mr Metcalfe was one not to be forgotten and was quite remarkable.

    This cause me to consider many things and I tried to understand and unfathomed the discussion regarding Justification. I had at that time been considering the view of

    eternal justification of Gods elect. I knew of the controversy of Antinomians and the Legalists. I had shared with John Metcalfe a love of the writings of William Huntington regarding Martin Luther’s issue of justification by faith.

    It was the misunderstanding between John Metcalfe and Paul Rowland regarding justification that made me considers the issues rose. I understood the truth to be as follows:

    1. Gods Act of Justification when viewed from the point before the world existed was from all eternity. In one sense the elect were justified from all eternity (in the mind of God) however the work and merits of a justifying righteousness were to be performed in time by none other than our Lord Jesus Christ.

    2. He was righteous by virtue of his person and spotless humanity. He did not become righteous by any works of the Law of Moses. I understood that it was in His righteousness that sinners are clothed and accepted as righteous before God. This being the righteousness of God imputed to all that believes, which was the source and merit of a believer’s justification. It could only be brought about by blood and made effectual by blood, found in the death of Jesus in the cross. By His death our sins are removed and we are made clean from all our sins. (Rom 5 verse 9).

      In actual experience however the sentence of Justification takes place upon the person believing in God. It is received by faith and takes place in the conscience when first we receive the Lord Jesus Christ as our saviour. This is justification by faith. (Rom 5, verse 1).

    3. From this springs the joy of salvation, which of course involves the senses of the soul. This experience results from justification.

    I learned later that this was not the issue with Paul Roland and John Metcalfe.

    The follow Saturday morning I had a telephone call from John Metcalfe. I did not realise it was him at first, thinking it was Dr John Verna and I addressed him as John. This did not go down well he said I was being too familiar and I must address him as Mr Metcalfe. Needless to say I felt awkward and I felt this man was being unnecessarily rude. We went on to speak about the feedback he wanted and I said I had things to say but would rather wait until I saw him face to face. He became very impatient and demanded I say there and then on the telephone what I had to say. I felt threatened and awkward and was not at ease at all. So I decided I would tell him what I had found awkward and unacceptable, first explaining that there was an error in the tract he had written.

    His reply was, ”Look mate, I have more theology than you will have in 1000 years”. He said that my testimony about what Jesus had done for me was disgusting and that I was in the same danger as the Pharisees, who blasphemed the Holy Ghost during the ministry of Jesus. There the conversation ended.

    During all this time my wife had been concerned about me, as she had notice how much effect he had had on me.

    That following week I was away studying at Durham University, as I was a student with the Open University. There I wrote Mr John Metcalfe.

    Letter to John Metcalfe

    26th July 1984

    Dear Mr Metcalfe

    Further to our telephone conversation I have decided against meeting with you when I return from Durham.

    The reasons:

    You do not allow the children of God to do as the apostle exhorts: “ Despise not prophesying. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil” 1 Thess 5 verse 20 - 22.

    My words to you on the telephone were that on the one hand I could rejoice with you, thanking God, for here was a man I respected and who trusted in the things of God (for various reasons) whilst on the other hand I got cross with you and could take extreme dislike to you for what appeared to be a sinister way, which I took exception to.

    Now, you did not inquire as to what I meant, but rather justified all your ways, methods and actions by stating your beliefs, saying that for the first time you had come under the preaching of the word of God in the unction of the Holy Ghost and that as the opponents of Christ questioned the spirit by which the Lord Jesus performed his mighty works, so I, as an individual, came very close to that fearful condition.

    You then stated your beliefs in respect of my own testimony; either you rejected what I said as true or was in doubt as to its reality and substance (correct me if I am wrong).

    I am sorry if I offended you and your family when I gave my testimony, please forgive me. However I am not the only believer to speak of vile things. Deut 28 verse 53, Lam 2 verse 26 and Hos 1 verse 2 and many more do so too. Do you therefore impute guilt to these also as you do me? Nevertheless what I said was true and an actual account and not as you seem to imply an opportunity to speak of myself. For that true account I offer no apology.

    If you reject what I said as truth I protest I am no liar. And if you are in doubts as to the reality well I cannot add to or diminish what the Lord Jesus works, or works not. You are entitled to your opinion but pray give me the same liberty to judge you, your preaching, writings and assertions.

    I still do not understand your impatience with my questioning you regarding the statement in the tract “The Gospel of God”.

    You say the issue at the Reformation was: Given the merits of Christ's person, how are they imputed and his person imparted. Page 33. I said to you that I could

    understand the statement of “ the merits of Christ’s person being imputed “ but not his person imparted.

    I gave you room to explain, owned an ignorance and awaited further enlightenment and even said I would reconsider the statement. Here however you said you knew more theology than I ever would in a 1000 years, given it were possible I should be granted such time; called me mate and kept me at a formal distance.

    Well, be that as it may, I still await a theological precise statement, whether it is in realms of high and heavenly things or in terrestrial things.

    I say that persons are communed with and not, with natures imparted. Neither persons nor natures imputed. I would suggest your tract should read: Given the merits of Christ’s person, how are these imputed and His nature imparted. I say I was not seeking to find faults; it stuck out like a sore thumb, just as my incorrect spelling may do.

    Here again I beg your pardon and apologise for any seeming impertinence. I say to you this behaviour of yours displays no humility, which you say is lacking in me. I have no intention of being your enemy.

    You said at one stage you wondered if I were teachable. Well I am allowing my feelings to act in judgement over these issues. This I do as you set the example and encouragement or have I got this wrong as well?

    I get excited for you over the production of Psalms and Hymnbook and would like to have seen them in use. I hope my letter to you now will not cause a breach, which will prevent it.

    I have read your tract 2 and have found both 1 and 2 very relevant, pertinent and well written. They search me; particularly tract 2 and I find I have walked the path of your tract. May they be blessed of God for the furtherance of the Gospel and the purpose for which they were written?

    I could comment on Tract 3 about Taylor Brethren but not unless you wish. Yours very Sincerely,

    David Clarke.

    Following this letter in hot pursuit I wrote the next letter, which would have arrived the next day:

    Dear Mr Metcalfe,

    I also think it wrong to speak of the merits of the person of Christ. The merits of Christ yes! But not the merits of his person.


    As the Son of God he is a divine person. By nature He is God. He is essentially God by nature. He is personally the Son of the Father. To speak then of the merits of the

    divine person is abhorrent to the delicate and gracious soul, for one cannot admit any imperfections in God nor a demerit as to perfections, councils, actions or purposes. God is by definition essentially righteous - perfectly just and right in all and in everything. Whether this glory be revealed or veiled always was and ever shall be.

    The scripture speaks of the Lord Jesus Christ being the express image of the Father's person.

    I admit a complexity in that the Lord Jesus Christ is bi-natural, that is to say he has two natures. Yet he is but one person, co-equal with the Father and Holy Ghost. By nature eternally God taking into union with himself, at the incarnation, our humanity, that which he was not, becoming truly man. There is now then a union of divine and human natures (never to be dissolved) hence Christ Jesus the Lord is a glorious complex person.

    We may speak of the merits of Christ Jesus for he is truly a human being, having a real soul created when made man; this man may accrue merit by virtue of living in this world being not only made under the Law of Moses but under every divine rule, him being subject unto his God and Father- He is the divine servant.

    The expression then, “how can the merits of Christ’s person be imputed?” I say is too loose and really the whole quotation should read: Given the merits of the Lord Jesus Christ, how are they imputed and His nature imparted? This being the question at the Reformation.

    If you think I am being nit picking then what kind of 1000-year theological course do you advocate as being worthwhile?

    I write this way because I trust it will be of help to you. You certainly have helped me in causing me to consider many things. I also stand to be corrected and ask you to do so.

    I expect I have touched on your doctrine of justification and perhaps you have deliberately phrased your statement in the tract the way you have because it reflects your views of justification. Am I right?

    Please excuse this hurried note but I must write, as I am able. Yours Sincerely,

    David Clarke.

    Durham. 25th July 1984.

    My two letters were returned with no comments. I took it that this was meant to express his rejection of my observations or council regarding himself.

  2. Our Move to Snailbeach- Lord’s Hill Baptist Church

    About that time I heard about a minister called Peter Hallihand who was a Baptist pastor of a church in Shropshire and he also was a representative of the Trinitarian Bible Society. He was preaching at a meeting in Dunstable and Mr Oldham of Leicester had also spoke well of him.

    I went to hear him preach and shortly afterward we decided to visit him in Shropshire to outline our position. It was soon evident to me that if the church where Peter Hallihand was the pastor was in Bierton I would feel it right to be joining the Lordshill Church but we lived in Bierton and this Church was in Snailbeach, Shropshire. We both felt persuaded that we should move house and I should change my job if it was the Lord's will that we should join that church. I felt that if God was directing us this way, and I must make the moves and the way would be opened up to us.

    We advertised the house for £97500 but dropped the price in to £92000 in order to sell. We were able to buy a three-bedroom bungalow for £37000 cash in Snailbeach, Shropshire. We moved in January 1986 and joined the church shortly afterwards. We were both very hopeful expectant and looked to God for support.

    I still worked at Luton and travelled there each Monday morning and returned to Snailbeach at the weekend. I stayed with Steven Royce and his family during the week and travelled home at weekends. I had hopes to obtain a lecturing job in one of the colleges in Shropshire.

    Trade Union activity NATFHE Luton College of HE

    Whilst waiting to get a job in Shropshire in February 1985 I was asked to join the trade union Natfhe at Luton College (I had not joined as a matter of principle), which I had the opportunity to explain in these letters) and here is the letter asking me to join. The significance of this letter will become apparent when I write about my forced resignation under threat of dismissal at Luton College in 1988. I write about this later. It was the Trade Union NATFHE who acted in the interest of the Union in negotiating my terms of resignation. This forced resignation was the result of my first medically diagnosed hypo manic episode but at the time I felt it was simply due to my excessive work and the opposition that I experience at Luton College in seeking to develop a training centre for satellite television reception.

    Dear Dave,

    As a membership secretary for NATFHE I am writing to you to suggest that you might consider joining the union.

    At present education is under attack as a part of the public sector of the economy, and although it is true that as lecturers we have a special interest in being opposed to reductions in educational provision, we can make also a case against these particular reductions in expenditure on more altruistic and objective grounds.

    However, although NATFHE is involved in a great many ways in attempting to be a positive influence in education, I would be misleading you if I did not say that our trade union functions were fundamental to our existence.

    For the immediate future, these trade union functions are going to include defending jobs, the conditions under which we teach, and as a spin-off the quality of the courses that we offer. (Not to be under-estimated).

    In any attempt to increase student staff ratios this is always at risk, even if not a certainty, that working conditions can degenerate and become a breach of the agreements made between the Local Educational Authority, (our real employer remember, not the college) and NATFHE. We must be prepared to resist such moves where possible. Our policy must be to preserve the quality of the courses and the work that we do. Naive and simplistic assumptions that raising SSR’s equals more efficiency need serious questioning. It smacks of “never mind the quality feel the width”. The way in which efficiency is defined requires questioning.

    If compulsory redundancy is proposed for any member of NATFHE our policy is to defend that member of the union. Of course, if a none - NATFHE member of staff is threatened with redundancy, and then we cannot be enthusiastic about defending that person on a personal basis (unless it has repercussions for our own members). Indeed if there is any suggestion that a NATFHE member is to be compulsory redundant we would have to insist that the LEA’s human sacrifice would have to be drawn from the list of non-NATFHE lecturers. Any union has to take the position of “hands off our members” - it is its job to do this.

    But not only do you have to think of self-preservation but also of your colleagues’ positions. Will you be able to oppose a bad policy when directed against other people and act in what you might consider a fair, reasonable way, simply by standing alone? That I leave to you.

    For some staff the way in which the Union works is not totally understood and we intend in the near future to issue explanatory notes to make this clear to members. We know that communication could be improved.

    I hope that you will now seriously consider joining our ranks and push the proportion of membership above the existing Photo of 91.5 % of full-time staff.

    Yours fraternally

    My reply to NATHFE Union 5/2/85 and was as follows

    Dear Roy, Re: NATFHE

    Thank you for your letter in respect of me joining NATFHE. I can see and understand your points of concern. However I am not a member of the union because of a matter of principle.

    I fear God and am a Christian. If I were a member I would, as a matter of conviction, be obliged to contend against all actions, which were opposed to Christ and morality. This is not my calling as a lecturer.

    My protection, in respect to my work, is by the hand of the living God. I know also if my colleagues were that concerned they too might seek divine protection, through Christ Jesus, as I do my self. It is He that watches over me and if according to his command I loose my job, then who am I to resist the living God.

    If you like I could speak on this subject to all the members at national local and national level. I would also be prepared to debate or answer criticism of those that feel the need to do so.

    Yours Sincerely, David Clarke.

    I was quite surprised to receive further correspondence on the same subject and it made interesting reading:

    Dear David, 5/3/85

    Thank you for extending the courtesy of a reply to my note to you.

    I understand the position you take in your letter. Of course, in the end, it has to be a matter of personal conviction which will decide the matter of union membership and for you this is a stronger factor than for others, what I do not wish to do is of course create a clash of loyalties and principles for any one with genuine misgivings. In the end it will have to be your decision, so anything that I write here is done knowing that fact.

    Not knowing the exact religious sect to which you belong I am at some disadvantage in the question, which I would pose to you. They might not seem to be addressing themselves to the points, which to you are the most crucial.

    However, I gather that you accept the notion of predestination by saying that if you lose your job this would be “according to His command”

    Please explain to me why the act of joining a union might not be counted as being determined by the living God, for how can one event be regarded differently from another in this way?

    This might be particularly relevant if the job loss results from a central Government policy inspired by Monetarism, a creed that the market of capital should dominate the lives of people. Did not Jesus have something to say about the moneychangers in the temple? Is it a negation of God’s work to be opposing the evil of the destruction educational opportunity for people? Why is it that a struggle against powers that wish to make worse the lives of people is seen in some way as not carrying out God’s work whereas the actions of those damaging education is seen to be an act of God?

    Although as a child I was christened as a Congregationalist, I became one who rejected the idea of God because fearing God did not make sense. To do some thing

    because I feared the consequences of not seemed to be abandoning one’s human responsibility. Imagine the mass- murderers of the Nazi Regime claiming that they were carrying out Gods work. Of course this is an extreme case I put but it raises the point in an extreme way that personal judgements needs to be exercised in some cases and the act of exercising that judgement might be fulfilling God’s intention. Surely there can be an active interpretation of pre-determination as well as a passive one?

    Anyway, if you resolve to maintain your position then it is your decision. At least I felt that your letter deserved some reply,

    Yours Sincerely, Roy Bride.

    PS One member of staff has decided to pay equivalent to the annual subscription to the Teacher’s Benevolent Fund, instead of joining.

    My reply to the Secretary of NATFHE

    I felt it right to reply to Roy and give further answers to his questions, as clearly he was not saved and had by his own admission turned away from God. I felt it an Ideal opportunity to speak of God’s sovereignty and love in Jesus Christ. Here is my reply:

    Dear Roy

    Re: Our correspondence in respect of NATFHE

    Thank you for your letter of the 5th February.

    I am most intrigued by your response and am pleased you have given the consideration you have to my views, even though I think you may think me a little naive.

    Without wishing to be too personal or cause offence directly may I take the liberty to answer some of your points? It may possibly be the means of enlightenment, to you in respect of divine pre-destination and mans responsibility.

    Yes, I do believe, absolutely, in divine pre-destination as you put it; if by that you mean the end of all things is determined, therefore the means to that end are also determined. I would confess to believing the scripture, which states that God has determined all things, and all things come to pass according to His predetermined purpose. That our being made, or created, is for God’s own glory and pleasure. Acts

    2. Verse 23. And Rev. 4 verse 11.

    That God has chosen some of the human race to obtain salvation by faith in Jesus Christ and left others to answer divine justice for their sins. Eph. 1 verse 4-5 and Jude 1 verse 4 and Rom. 9 verse 14-20.

    In all this the glory of God is great, for we have a display of the everlasting love of God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. A love, which is unchangeable and sovereign in its bestowment, God loving some and not all (contrary to popular belief) Rom. 9 verse 13-16. The reason for this love has nothing to do with what is found in the sinner, for this choice is without respect to actions done or capable of being done. In fact the choice was before the foundation of the world. Peter 1 verse 2 and Eph. 1 verse 4.

    If it were based upon merit none could be saved, therefore it is a choice through grace alone not based upon works. Thus salvation is received by faith and not through or deeds of merit. Rom. 4 verse 16.

    With respect to the chosen all things work together for their good. That industrial strife, famine, unemployment, sickness, death, in fact all evil work together for their eternal good. That these things are sent of God to us that we will learn not to rest in our selves but rather cause us to seek our all in him and depend entirely upon that which he has promised us in his own divine word. Rom. 8 verse 35.

    In respect to our responsibilities: I agree with you we are responsible to do those things, which are right and sensible for our own preservation. If needs be we oppose evils and fight for those things, which are right and proper, not only for our selves but for the coming generation, but all in the bounds of “If possible live at peace with all men”.

    I do not however by this mean we should be stupid and allow all (as you rightly refer to the point of the Nazi oppression) to vanquish all that is opposed their Idealism. In fact any such system, whether it be communism, socialism, capitalism or any other ‘ism should be resisted if it adopts those flaws common to corrupted human nature. I therefore say to you, since you appeal to scripture as a basis to oppose Monetarism and claim educational opportunity, that this is a work of God. Then use the whole of scripture to govern all your policies and by this means I might be inclined to help.

    I would suggest the following and give this to you to consider:

    1. Never engage in a fight unless it is a righteous cause. (God is on the side of the righteous)

    2. That the battle be one you think you can win. (In which case God might be sought in prayer and divine aid is asked for).

    3. Consider whether God has called you to fight the battle. (In which case there will be principles taught clearly in the scripture).

    4. Consider whether the men you fight with are reliable and moved by the same principles and convictions (a divided army or kingdom is not likely to win any battle).

    5. Fight with all your might for the righteous will hold on His way.

    I am fully aware of the Nazi Regime and also the connection with the Roman Catholic Church. Also that the basis of the Third Reich was upon Jesuitical principles (See the secret History of the Jesuits, Edmund Paris) Not only so but Hitler and Mussolini were

    both sons of the Catholic Church and so the scripture is fulfilled in that the blood of prophets and of the saints and all the slain upon the earth was found in her (the Roman Catholic Church). Rev 17-18 verse 24.

    My question to you is do you think your contention with monetarism is a holy war?

    I believe a holy war is directed against any that oppose Christ and His Church - not one ‘ism against Monetarism as you call it. I tell you if I believed this policy of Government were opposed to Christ in this matter of educational cuts then according to my five-point plan I would engage in the battle. That if I found none with me I would fight alone, just like David who fought Goliath, and like Samson who slew a 1000 men with the jaw bone of an ass. But I would not fight with or join hands with Apostates, atheists, unbelievers or heretics, for these would be in the way and could not wield the weapons of truth.

    You suggest that it might it be according to the will and purpose of God to join the union to fulfil his purpose. To which I answer he would direct me to do so and I would know that calling in the same way I know my name is written in the Lamb’s book of life that I am saved, my sins being forgiven me and I have divine protection. This knowledge I would derive from the scriptures of truth as I employ my reason to biblical principles and walk according to the faith, once delivered unto the saints.

    Re. your tentative inquiry to what sect of Christendom I belong - maybe you might review your knowledge of these sects and find a place for me, I would certainly be interested to see into which group I am pigeon holed.

    Yours very Sincerely, David Clarke

    14th 2nd 1985.

    Recollection and union views now

    It is only now as I write this account, when I look back on these things, that I am beginning to learn some of the lessons I had believed in my head but not proved by actual experience of knowing God in the very depths of ones souls agony.

    I now believe the NATHFE union are a valuable functioning body and I have no problem in supporting and being a member of such a union. This is because they have thrashed out with Management their rules of conduct, which, if employed, can result in very fair dealings with members. I think Union services should be offered free to no- members. This I think would enlist more members.

    Second bout of depression

    It was shortly after this that my agony began and I really began to fell the effects of my depression. I never did get work in Shropshire and it never happened. I had attended three interviews, at three colleges, but failed to get any of the jobs - I

    wondered what God was doing. That year I missed out on my first promotion at work because they understood I was intending to move away. This knowledge all added to the aggravation I later began to feel.

    During this time I experienced awful agonies of fear and doubts etc. I began to believe I was like King Saul in the Old Testament, and the Lord had rejected me. I began to think that all my experience of God was of the flesh and not of God. I felt what I thought an Apostate would feel and that just added to my agony. I felt alone, isolated and very depressed. Depression set in and Steven Royce began to call me Mephibosheth, as he was a son of king Saul, who had gone to live at Lo-debar. (When I look back that was a very good description of my situation and position). I had never heard of the term manic depression, or bi-polar mood swings, but on reflection and after being clinically diagnosed with manic depression I realised this experience was part and parcel of my mental condition at that time.

    My wife also became very depressed and suffered all kinds of agonies. On a number of occasions she would ring me at work crying about the difficulties she faced. Isaac was being bullied severely and she couldn’t cope. She felt hostility from some in the church and did not know how to manage. It all became too much.

    I stayed at the Royce’s for a period of 18 months during the week, whilst I worked at Luton College and travelled home to Shropshire at the weekend. I hated the journey and very often on the way back to work on a Monday morning I would have to stop and seek God for strength to continue. I was feeling so ill through depression. I began to feel that I had been cast away by God and was in the similar position as King Saul, in the Old Testament, having begun well but was later rejected by God. I felt as I thought an Apostate would feel, which in turn cast me down even further. I wanted to die.

  3. We Move to Luton

    During the time at Shropshire I tried to assess where had all my contending come too, and began to question many things. I was far from happy. And I felt forsaken by God.

    It was then I decided to put family and myself first and move back to Luton where I had work. I felt in my soul I would answer to God for my decision as I felt I was going against what I believed He taught in the scripture that was to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and then all these things will be added unto me. I thought we should put church membership first then family. From here I would try and sort out church after we were living together as a family. I had always believed we should put the things of God first and God will look after you.

    I hated living like I was away from my home and family. When we were at Bierton I had always been able to read and pray each day, as the head of my family before they went to school but now we were fragmented. I hated it. I felt I should be with my family and not living like we were.

    The prices of houses in the South were rising rapidly whilst those in Shropshire and in Snailbeach, where we lived were hardly moving at all. To give you some idea we had sold our house in Bierton for £92,000 in December 1995. This was a lovely 4 bedroom detached chalet bungalow with double gates and half moon drive way. We owned this house apart from a £24,000 mortgage.

    We were able to purchase a three bedroom detached bungalow in Snailbeach for

    £37,000, which we purchased out right with no mortgage.

    When we came to sell it and move back to Luton in 1988 it was sold for £41,000. This value had risen by £4000. At that time we bought Graham Gardens for £78,000 and had to raise £42,000 by way of mortgage. This was only a small 3 bedroom detached house however the awful thing to us was our old house in Bierton was up for sale for £199,000. These house prices had risen so much due to inflation we had to buy a house way down on valuation the list. Had we stayed at Bierton we would have owned a house worth nearly £200,000 or alternatively moved from Bierton to Luton we could have owned the Luton house with no mortgage. Instead we were in an inferior house worth only £78,000 but with a mortgage of £42,000.

    Both my wife and I found this difficult to swallow and I felt robbed. This was to be a hurt to me for many years.

    Whilst at Luton I began to recover but was still unhappy about the church situation.

    I did not fell ready to re enter the Gospel Standard cultural set up due to the awful problems I had encountered whilst at Bierton. At the same time I was not free to get involved in churches which where not Calvinistic due to my experience in the Pentecostal Holiness Church. So we found our selves un-churched again. However I began to feel a lot better coming out of sever depression and I began to enjoy the simple things in life again and I could smile once more.

    Discipline a problem teaching at Luton College

    During all this time I still held on to my job and taught at Luton College. Discipline however was not my strong point. How to keep control of a class of 24 teenage students from various ethnic backgrounds was not an easy task. I adopted my own methods; one might say a manic method.

    When I was training to be a teacher at the Wolverhampton Polytechnic one teacher, taking the subject of discipline in the classroom told us only of one method. This was my course in classroom management.

    This lecturer had to teach a class of craft students and wanted to assert his authority before they got out of hand. Craft students are noted generally to be awkward to manage. He decided this would make sure he would have no problems with them later on in the course.

    During the class when he was teaching technical drawing, he asked one of the students to go out to the building sight and bring to him a large plank of wood. When the student returned with the wood the lecturer took it from him and with one mighty karate chop, broke the wooden plank in two. He then proceeded to use the plank of wood as a ruler on the chalkboard just as though nothing had happened. He did not say a word to the students. The students stood back in amazement at this show of strength and took it as a warning. This was the lecturer method of saying to the class don’t mess with me or you will get what this plank of wood got.

    I found this story amusing and from this I was supposed to learn all about class management. With this limited knowledge I took it that you had to find your own method of discipline in the classroom so decided to have some fun.

    One of the problems I initially found was enforcing the college rules. One rule was no eating of drinking food in the classrooms. How do you stop it? Sweet papers were evident, empty drink cans evident, so it went on whether they were allowed to or not. Even when they were told they still broke the rules.

    I decided I would sort this problem my way. I thought if you couldn’t beat them then join them. So I made it a rule that if I found them eating sweets or food in the class I would make them share them and help I would my self to their food. I proceeded to do so. It soon got around that I was taking their food. Whether this stopped the eating problem I do not know but on this one occasion the student got one over on me.

    I saw at the back of the class two students messing about under the desk and their mouths were in operation. I stopped teaching and went to the back of the classroom and sure enough a lovely fat juicy Mars bar was in Chavda's hand. I had caught them red handed. I said come on you know the rules give it to me. Not without their protest I took it from him and looked forward to a big bite. As I consumed this mouth of Mars bar the rest of the class burst in to laughter- they all knew- I didn’t. I discovered pieces of white tablets mixed in with the chocolate. They had laced the Mars bar with laxative tablets and got their own back one me.

    They were totally amused and from that time I had no real trouble.

    On another occasion I had some trouble with Chavda again and could not stop him from causing a disturbance in the class. I must have ruffled his feathers as on this occasion he threatened to sort me out. He was and Asian about 17 years old and I must have been about 30 years old with out much experience in dealing with this type of situation. In my determination to sort this problem out I challenged him to do it in the boxing ring, thinking this would put as stop to it all. How ever the class took up this suggestion and he too went along with the idea- Yes- OK. How.

    Oh dear I thought to my self-how am I going to get out of this one. I said they must go to the college Gym in the lunch hour and ask if we can use the boxing ring for half and hour. This sorted the problem out and we all got back to work. They must have been looking forward in anticipation to this fight out.

    Sure enough off they went to the Gym during the break and shortly afterwards I got a telephone call from the women Gym lecturer asking me what was going on. She said they were not really allowed to do it. I seized on this and said good, please tell them that and that will get me off the hook.

    They came back after break feeling let down as they were all looking forward to this boxing match. However there was no Chavda, nor was he there the next day. I was told that he had got wind of the fact that I was a welterweight boxing champion and was looking forward to sorting him out. This again landed me on my feet.

    Muslims want to convert me

    During my time Luton College of Higher Education I taught classes with a lot of Muslims and other religions.

    It was easy to speak to Muslim students about the things of God and they insisted they were right and God could not possibly have a son. From time to time I would visit their homes and meet their parents and they soon respected me.

    I had gone through many trials and difficulties and believed I should speak to these Muslims about Jesus and what he came to do.

    I could talk to them about the Omnipotent God, the Omnipresence of God and Omniscience of God and they began to think I would soon become a Muslim.

    I was invited to there young persons meeting on a Friday evening so I took with me a Muslim missionary who had been looking for an opening to meet the Luton Muslim community. We had a reasonable time just talking and listening.

    Word got around that I was interested in the Muslim religion and the student president of the Muslim community came to se me one lunch hour for a meeting.

    I fact some of the students nick named me God and had rang in to the local radio station, Chiltern Radio in January 1988 to say they had named me God. See my reply.

    There must have been about 10 or so keen Muslim students together with their president and I was speaking to them as best I could about the Lord Jesus.

    I suggested I pray for them and with them. They said this has never happened before and that they pray different to Christians. They said they pray on the floor so I suggested we should do the same.

    One of the students in his respect for me took of his jacket and placed it on the floor for me to kneel on and as I kneeled down they all kneeled down behind me as I lead them in prayer.

    I prayed to the effect after thanks giving my God and Father would open the eyes to the truth to what I had spoken to them about.

    Afterwards I was informed this had never happened before they had never prayed or had a Christian pray for them.

    I did not see any results from that time but they held me with respect and were always courteous to me.

    I had met a Muslim missionary called Paul? At the time connected with Spicer Street Independent Church in St Albans and asked him to come with me to their Friday night religious instruction classes. This we did and spoke to them about the Lord Jesus Christ. I learned the address of greeting with the Muslim and it was

    A Salem Ali com (Hello) and the reply was wali com Salem (Good bye).

    Entrepreneurial enterprise-coming out of depression

    I found it a great relief to be living near I worked. I had been living in a shared bedroom, at the Royce’s home fare away from my family and in my car for over 18 months. I was good to be able to come home from work at lunchtime and return at leisure. I began to get well and be more involved in my work.

    It was the year of the launch of the Astra Satellite and soon got involved in preparing training courses for satellite installation technicians.

    At the same time we had difficulties with Isaac at school and eventually we had him accessed by an Educational Psychologist as he had Specific Learning Difficulties, which was called Dyslexia. The Bedfordshire County Council denied the word and would not accept Dyslexia as a reality. In the end we went to a leading Education Psychologist, Bev Hornsby in London to assess Isaac and this did the trick and got Isaac recognised as having learning difficulties. This was sufficient to get some him help at school.

    I too had always had problems in reading, writing and spelling. I could understand concepts and problem solving was no problem to me but the ability communicate with the written word was virtually impossible for me. How I got though teacher training college I do not know. I often thought they must have been hard up for students at the time. I can how ever remember the Head of Technical Studies calling me to his office saying he was worried about my written work. He arranged for me to have remedial help. I went to one of two sessions but it I found it was not helpful at all. It was so boring and they had no Idea how to help me. It was only when I became a Christian that my desire to learn more and more about the things of God and what

    Jesus had done that I was compelled to learn to read and understand words. This leaning had helped me write essays to gain entrance into the Technical Teacher Training School at Wolverhampton. So in reality I taught my self and then I taught myself to type. With these skills came the revolution and a disgruntled wife.

    The Apple Mac Computer

    When I threw myself into my work at Luton College, after coming back from Shropshire, I purchase an Apple Mac computer. It was a Mac Plus with 1 Meg of RAM, multi tasking, (only 340 KB of Ram needed for WORD 4), 45 Mbytes of Hard disk and a dot matrix 24 pin printer. It knocked spots of any other computer available at the time. It was the best thing to me since the printing press in the 15 century. At Luton College we had installed PC’s, which were slow inelegant beast's probably 8080 series (just before the 286) and only able to do single tasks. My Mac Plus became my friend and helper. My wife complained that I had spent the money we had set aside for her new kitchen, on my new Cyber (Pet). It was a wonderful helper to me so you might call it my cyber woman. No wonder my real wife complained.

    This enabled me to write letters, memos, and technical notes and print them all straight away. I was able to communicate with the educational and business world. My ideas of developing a training school for Satellite Television was only able to work because of the use of the Apple Mac computer and printer. It freed me to communicate my ideas with the written word in a simple and uncomplicated way. I am sure I am dyslexic but I have never had a statement. We discovered later that my wife and Esther and David were all diagnosed as Dyslexic and were given statements. Dyslexia is really regardless of what the authorities say s. David still receives help with his learning difficulties. He has exactly the same problem as I did.

    My wife later received an educational award due to her Dyslexia when she started her degree course. She bought an Apple Mac PowerBook 170, which was beautiful and I would have loved it. This computer was portable and this enabled her to do all her written work, which other wise she would not be able to do. She graduated 3 years later with and upper Second in her Degree in Cultural Studies at Portsmouth University.

    As you can see I am an Apple Mac fan and not a PC fanatic.

    Entrepreneurial venture in Satellite Television

    Soon how ever I had a run in with the management at Luton College. I had what I thought a good idea to make money for the college. At that time the Astra Satellite was about to be launched and Alan Sugar had announced he had intended manufacturing 3 Million satellite receivers that coming year all of which would have to be installed. I had been to a conference in London and met a satellite installation technician called Steve Holmes and I talked with him working with me at Luton College teaching about satellite systems. I wrote to the CAI (Confederation of Aerial Industries) suggesting the Educational Standards and Industrial technology come together in a joint venture to train satellite installation technicians and award a City and Guilds, or similar award from the start. At that time very few people had installed a satellite dish or receiver.

    I spoke to my immediate boss, Derrick Curran but my idea did not register or he did not see that my idea was any good. I was not prepared to be put off so in the summer holiday of that year I asked to see the Director of our College a Dr Wood. I then explained my idea saying that our Centre for Applied Technology and Innovation (CATI) at Putteridgbury was in ideal venue to set up a training school to train technicians how to install satellite TV systems. I put it to the management that we together with the CAI, City & Guilds and the industry could earn money by charging reasonable fees for students. He thought it a good idea. I explained I was due to go to a meeting with the CAI in London in the next few days and he said he would direct my Head of School, Derrick Curran to go with me. I had recorded our meeting with my portable tape recorder so it was clear to me I had the backing of the Director of the College.

    The meeting went well, Derrick was late but the CIA was sufficiently impressed with my idea of education and industry coming together to ensure quality and set standards. I invited them to come to Luton to discuss these things further. My head of school was sufficiently impressed to give me the go ahead and make all necessary arrangements.

    I was able to contact many people in industry, inviting them to our meeting at Cati Luton. The purpose of the meeting was to show the technical facilities of the Engineering Faculty, to the CAI and other interested parties, so that a joint venture may be pursued with those concerned. Also to show the Cati conference rooms so that marketing and educational directors may consider using our centre for future operations.

    Assuming a favourable outcome we shall form a working party of technical personnel to determine future course needs and make the appropriate arrangements to start training immediately.

    The Meeting on 7th September 1988


    David centre by the Satellite dish

    The following were in attendance at the meeting:

    CAI Mr John Knight CIA Executive

    Sky Channel Mike Aarons Network Manager

    City and Guilds Mr Snell Executive Representative

    SAT TEL Richard Stallworthy Managing Director Master Care Jeff Belington Commercial Director

    Solara UK John Breed, Satellite Production Manager

    Saturn Com Andrew Demetrious Managing Director

    BSB Bert Hurlock

    David Blackshaw David Ayres Keith Payne

    Project Manager

    Granada TV Roy Ward Technical Services Manager

    SES ASTRA Pam Taylor Manager

    Open University Prof. H Gower Assistant Vice Chancellor

    Premier John Martin Mike Tonnes Ian Welders

    Amstrad Alan Sugar Managing Director

    Grundig Tom Carney Managing Director

    Racal Bert Ferguson Managing Director

    Micro X Chris Lack Sales Director

    Matthew Aerials

    Steve Holmes

    Director of Satellite

    Installations and LCHE


    Mega sat

    Managing Director

    MSC Industrial

    Mrs L Kelly


    And many more.

    Most of these people came to the meeting except Alan Sugar. I thought he might have arrived in his helicopter.

    I even thought of inviting Arthur C Clarke but he would have had to travel from Sri Lanka.

    I gave the address to this meeting, sharing the plan and ideas. I was introduced by our Vice Principle, (who himself was called Dr Clarke), as the Director of Satellite Communications - an impressive title, which suited me down to the ground.

    The meeting went down well and things looked extremely good.

    It was after this meeting that the problems began as a certain woman called Fiona Howorth took on the management of the training venture. She could not be depended upon as she changed her mind and ideas without any reference to me. She was the manager of a department within Luton College of Higher Education, - the Centre for Applied Technology and Innovation called Cati. She generally cut across what I had arranged and I felt extremely frustrated with working or trying to work with her. I had thus far single-handed got the venture off the ground from nothing. I had got all the interested industries together and I was set to go. How ever this was not to be. The management wanted to take control, away from me.

    A problem.

    After several confrontations with Fiona Howorth and the management they decided to reduce my powers and make myself just responsible for the equipping of the workshop area and writing a textbook. I was told not to contact any out side organisations. They had decided to take over this venture as they planned to charge

    £100 per head per student. The CAI had indicated they might have 2000 persons wishing to be trained. I remembered how it was the women at the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church, which had been the problem there, and here now, was another woman taking charge of my venture and I resented it.

    I was angry at their decision because I knew they could not make things work, the way things were at College. They needed entrepreneurial skills and management to deal with industry. They did not have what it took to make it work. It was then that I wrote to the Director saying I had sacked Fiona Howorth and Derrick Curran and would sort things out my way. I had worked so hard to secure many thousands of pounds worth of sponsored equipment and had the support of the industry. It seemed a shame for me to stand by and see it fail, due to middle management incompetence.

    I believed I had, at the time, the Directors backing for what I was doing and thought if he knew what was going on amongst the middle management he would not approve

    of them. I believed once he found out what was going on a few heads would role. I had the original audio recording of our first meeting when he gave me the permissions to do what I must to achieve our objectives, so I informed the management that I had this recording, which actually gave my commission to do what I was doing, and that I had the Directors approval.

    My state of mind and manic activity

    At this time I was feeling very happy and had many fluent ideas and was able to talk about them, virtually none stop. My senses were heightened and I appreciated colours, beauty and music. My libido was high and on one occasion, when rushing to London on the train, I was virtually stopped in my tracks to admire the beauty of a woman traveller.

    A take over and I am paid to resign

    The management at Luton College wondered what had happened to me and they no longer listened to me. They had decided they did not want me working for them and wanted to take over the work I had begun. The College management asked the NATFHE union to be involved but I was not a member so this was a difficulty for them because they did not want to deal with me directly. As a result I was suspended from work and the management asked the Chairman of the Union, Mr Tom May, to act for me and with them. He acted in the interest of the Union and he informed me it was in the interest of the union to do so. It was in the Colleges interest to pay me £6000 in lieu of notice, to leave my lecturing post. I did not really wish to leave but rather than risk being unfairly sacked I agreed to take the money and leave, provided I could have a good reference. I realised the Management could not handle the situation and it was in my best interest to leave. This was early 1988.

    I was told by the Director to destroy the tape recording of our original meeting, which contained the proof that I had his approval for the venture that had I developed.

  4. Bi-Polar disorder or Manic Depression

    During this time, in fact the week I was suspended from work, I went to see my doctor and was signed off sick due to not being able to sleep and my hyper - activity when working on the satellite-training venture. It was then suggested that I had a bi - polar mood disorder and was in a hypomanic state. A psychiatrist, at the Luton and Dunstable Hospital, later confirmed this diagnosis. My doctor prescribed some medication to bring me down from my high mood. This was Haloperidol, a typical antipsychotic drug, and also Priodel, with the active ingredient lithium. My mind had been filled with many ideas seeking to develop the training school for the satellite industry.

    At the same time I realised that Michael, my brother, had very similar patterns of behaviour and I realised he too suffered from this kind of mood disorder except in his case he had no medical treatment. I recall speaking to his wife on the telephone. They just had separated and were going through a divorce. I related to her about my condition and that it was identical to Michael’s and could be the reason for his current behaviour. I then realised he too was suffering from manic depression and this accounted for his mood swings in the past.

    The effects of the medication that I had taken did not take place for a few weeks or so but when it did, it all happened on one day. I had been suspended from work due to my manic behaviour but I was not prepared to be put down, so I intended to continue my work from home. I had gained a lot of support from the satellite TV industry and secured over £30,000 worth of equipment, all for the training venture at Luton College. However being suspended from work left me high and dry, so to speak.

    Having decided to go it alone, I advertised my own training program in the local newspaper and taught future satellite installers how to install satellite equipment from my home, at Graham Gardens, Luton. The man next door got a bit upset because I had 5 satellite dishes in the garden and he said it looked like a Radio Transmitting Station. We had a little write-up in the local newspaper about this training venture.

    Third bout of depression

    It was on one of these training days that this medication I had been taking took effect. I felt a wave of depression come over me, half way through the day, just like the first wave of depression I experience on the garage roof at Mount Street in 1975. I was teaching a group of students when it hit me. This depression was to last for a further 3 years. I became so bad I had to rely on further medication. I could hardly leave the house through the agony I was facing. I was struggling with the things of God and did not know how to handle the problems that I was beginning to face. I wondered why in the providence of God this had all happened and reasoned that I had given my self over to too much work, to the neglect of the things of God. I rejected the notion that I

    was suffering from manic depression as I thought it was simply due to excessive work and the opposition that I had experienced at Luton College.

    Symptoms of Manic Depression or a Bi-Polar mood disorder

    What is often recognised and described as manic behaviour is seen when a person begins to have unusual ideas that seem brilliant and they are able to talk about them, expressing their thoughts with very rapid speech. They talk 10 to the dozen so to speak.

    Accompanying this is the inability to sleep for any length of time. They wake early, with fluid ideas wishing to get on with the day. They find they have more strength than usual and are very active, hence the term used about children being hyperactive. They can go from one job or activity to another leaving neither finished. They will find no job too great and are prepared to take on enormous tasks.

    When in the manic phase, or hypo state, a person can become very short tempered and impatient with others, as they wish others would keep up with them. At one time my wife sought to control me and she refused to stop ' having a go’ at me. In response I held her up against the wall with my hands around her neck seeking to stop her from going on at me. I stopped when she slid down to the floor, as she could no longer breath.

    Such people are impatient in conversation; often not allowing another to complete their sentences, as they wish to answer any objection or another persons idea before they have expressed it, as they think they know best. They believe themselves to be right and often argue their case till others either reject them or accept them.

    There is an increase in libido, along with an increase in the body senses. Sight seams to be clearer, both natural and insight. The ability to appreciate art, music, poetry and spirituality, increases. There can be a desire to dance and sing and a delusion they are great singers and/or performers. It is as though the human senses touch, taste smell, hearing and sight are synchronized, enabling rapid communication between that person and the outside world that allows them to sympathise or react to historic events.

    In short they feel on top of the world as if nothing could go wrong and they may well believe the world was made just for them.

    In my case I experience all of these things along with the belief that I have a personal relationship with God, that Jesus Christ was my Saviour, and that all things, the good and the bad, would work together for my good.

    However It is the low side that generally leads the suffer to seek help. In my previous lows I felt God had forsaken me and that I had become a castaway because of some negligence or sin in the past. Such fears and thoughts are unbearable and are really destructive. Once in that state there seems to be no way out, just as though one has been thrown down a pit hundreds of feet deep. There is no way out. I knew that William Cowper, of the C18, the famous hymn writer who wrote hymns such as, “There is a fountain filled with bloodand “God moves in a mysterious way,

    suffered from melancholy which left him in total despair. I could fully enter into and feel the sense of his poetry and hymns. He suffered from manic depression.

    I have since learned that many well known people suffer from Manic Depression.

    List of people with bipolar disorders:

    Frank Bruno, Russell Brand, Kurt Cobain, Ray Davies, Stephen Fry Paul Gascoigne, Spike Milligan

    Florence Nightingale, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vincent Van Gogh,

    Ruby Wax, Catherine Zeta-Jones

    All such experiences and more are to be related as my story unfolds and I hope they will be of help to any reader who has the same experiences or knows some one who may be suffering from manic depression.

    I Work at Fareham College

    At this time I applied for a job at Fareham College and was offered a place. I took up the position in September 1988 and I believed this was God’s provision.

    The Principal at that time was Mr John MacNab and the Vice Principal was Derek Febber, with Pam Robertson as the Bursar. I discovered later that Derek Febber was a Christian and helped with the Christian Union at the College.

    It was a very fair interview and I believe the College selection process was very good in that it was truly an “Open Opportunities College”. My record from Luton College was either acknowledged to be good or ignored or kept secret. Mike Pease, Head of Division, and Geoff Whitefield, Principal Lecturer, selected me for the post at Fareham College, on the strength of my own presentation.

    A record was later made in my personal file of my former stay in Borstal, and conviction of possessing a firearm without a license at the age of 18 years.

    I was very please to get the job but this meant another move and involved the difficulty in selling our house. I had to move into lodgings in Fareham. This was another Snailbeach situation, living in lodgings and travelling home at weekends. I missed being a father to my kids and living in my own home. This lasted for a further 18 months until we finally sold our house in Graham Gardens. During this time I was under a cloud of depression even though it was controlled through Lithium (Priodel).

    I was also, on reflection, experiencing the other symptoms, which accompany manic or bi-polar depression.

    Before I left to work at Fareham College, we were walking one day in the countryside on the Dunstable Down, and I saw for the first time in years, an erotic magazine that had been left by the wayside. My normal practice would be to turn away and not look at such a magazine but on this occasion I was tempted to look. The effect of these pictures were so great that I could not get them out of my mind and they followed me and were retained as erotic images for years to come. I did not resist this temptation and proved to be my downfall at a later date.

    My wife had decided she would like to return to full time education and she took up the offer of a place on a degree course in Cultural Studies, at Portsmouth University. She had previously studied on an Access Course at Barnfield College in Luton, when I was working at Fareham.

    It took us 18 months to sell our house in Luton during which time we were living apart as a family yet again. I felt alone and still suffering from depression even with the medication.

    We were eventually able to sell our house in Luton just before my wife began her first year on the degree course at Portsmouth University. We were able then to move into rented accommodation at 8 Queens Grove, Southsea and the children went to St. Jude's junior school, in old Portsmouth.

    My doubts about God

    At this time I began to shut my ear to the Word of God and I allowed temptation to enter my thoughts. We been attending St. Judes Church in Southsea and I felt that I was as Steven Royce had called me, like Mephibosheth - crippled and living in Lo debar. Mephibosheth was a crippled and had been driven out from his rightful place in his father's kingdom (King Saul) and was living in a place called Lo-debar, a place of dry land and no pastures.

    I began to entertain various sinful thoughts and then actions. I found greater arguments and reasons to explain away Gods dealings with me in the past. It could not be denied I had really believed in God and experienced many remarkably deliverances and provisions from God, but now the subtlety was in the form of such thoughts as these:

    “How do I know that it is God working and not just the product of misguided interpretation of events? I.e.. Yes, you believed God worked for you and yes your life had been radically change by that belief or faith but surely all you believed could have been just not true - granted it would have effected your life just as it effects other peoples - but believing in something does not actually make it true. You have believed in something just like others and what you believed is not true". That was the argument and I began to accept it. (Reader - this is a lie from Satan, don’t you believe it also)).

    Reader, as you read this I want you to know that as Peter was astonished and all that were with him at the draught of fishes that they had caught when they fished at Jesus' command, I believe I have written this account at the command of Jesus, and we too will be astonished at the many fishes caught through this testimony of the loving kindness and faithfulness of God to me.

    Although I did fall away from God I now recall what Jesus had said to me on the night of my salvation on the 16th January 1970. Jesus said, “David I will never leave you”. And so it will become clear that He does restore and seek the lost and the prodigal sons.

    Soon we were attending Titchfield church, but I still felt like the cripple in the New Testament lying beside the water pool at Bethesda. I wanted to be healed but had no one to put me in the pool. I took my family to church but it was more out of routine than any thing else and I was in a barren spiritual state.

    I had needs but was turning from God at Titchfield church. Then I met my wife to be.

    Moving to Fareham I turn from God

    Once we moved to Fareham I continued to listen to the arguments put forward by my wife when she was studying for her University Degree at Portsmouth University. This was a degree in Cultural Studies. She shared with me the current views from sociology, psychology and philosophy about the none - existence of God. The whole of such higher education worked from the presupposition, “God does not exist”. This really was what they now called Post Modernism.

    I heard about the philosophers such as Kant, Hegel, and Kierkegaard and learned about Existentialism. In essence I got the picture that were no absolutes at all. No God. No rights or wrongs. Nothing. Morality was changeable, and depending upon society. This suited me and helped me to turn my back on the Word of God. In this temptation I did not do as Job, a character in the Bible. I sinned and turned from God. This was my foolishness.

    My visit to Soho London

    At this time I had occasion to visit London going to the Macintosh exhibition and on my way home I decided to re-visit Soho. I remembered my visit there when I was 13 or 14 years old. In one of the streets was a strip show being advertised with an entry fee of about £2.00. It was a con but I did not realise it at the time. I was dressed in a dark navy blue suit I paid my £2.00 and sat at a table awaiting for the show to begin. There was no one else there except a girly waitress who came to me and asked if I would like a drink. I agreed to a drink and it was presented to me on a tray with a bill. As I waited for the show to begin I looked at the bill and it was for £20. When I called the waitress to challenge the bill she said there would be no show until I paid the bill. I was not prepared to pay such a bill and sat there. I was than approached by another girl who said If I did not pay the bill I would not be allowed to leave and they would contact my wife and informed her where I was. This was not a threat to me so I simply sat there for 15 minutes or so, until finally I just got up and left. So you see it is very easy to get into hot water when dealing with shady business.

    My wife questions the reality of God

    My wife also began to question the reality of God and turn from the ways she once believed true. She entertained different thoughts and we both got involved in things, which were not of God.

    I now believe that my sinful heart wanted to be free from God's rule so that I could be independent and do as I pleased. I think I must have thought, “ If this is what is now believed by the highly educated and the philosophers of the day, then I am a perfect student of this new age so I will put it into practice" - and that is what I did. (I now deplore it - it is not education, but a lie). I took these views on board and began to argue the none - existence of God, being intent now to do my own things.

    I argued since God does not exist there is no absolute right or wrong. All is relative. I in fact decided what was right or wrong for me. I actually became my own god.

    I now believe God gave me up to my own sinful heart and left me to myself to practice sin. I did not know at that time what was in store for me. I was given over to indulge in sexual talk and activity outside marriage. I went off the rails and got into things I now feel ashamed to speak about. Those that knew me at that time will know all about it. I was wrong and out of order. Again, on reflection, I was displaying the many symptoms, which accompany a Bi polar mood disorder.

    Michael goes to Thailand

    About this time [1991/2], Michael had started his own company making movies In Thailand called “Paradise Movies” and he involved our Mum and Dad, who lived in Eastbourne, in sorting out all his finances whilst he was away. He also took Jessica, his 10-year-old daughter, with him for the summer, but cause her mum great alarm when he did not bring her back to England. He said at the time that he wanted to get back at his ex - wife because of all the grief she had given him in the past.

    image image

    Paradise Movies Michael in Thailand

    In the end Michael's business in Thailand went wrong. His equipment was stolen and he ran out of money. We don't really know what he got into while in Thailand but Mum was so fed up with bailing him out with money and favours that she finally said she had had enough of him as he was making her ill.

    image image

    Sailors Beware Michael dressed as a policeman

    It was during this time that an article appeared in the News of the World, on January 19th, 1992. I learned later from Michael that this story was a complete fabrication.

    NEWS OF THE WORLD, January 19th, 1992


    Sailors beware! A new nautical menace has appeared on the horizon - a conman Michael Clarke has set up a scam to keep himself supplied with booze and birds on a paradise beach.

    He has ripped off scores of unsuspecting British yachting folk by offering them jobs in an epic sailing movie he claims is being made in Thailand.

    Clarke's ad in Yachting Monthly magazine promises free return airfares and £40 a day for a five-day week. All he wants is a £55 insurance fee from applicants.

    But there is No film and punters NEVER hear from him again.

    Former Watford market trader Clarke reckons four square rigged sailing ships are going to be used in the movie 'Invasion of Thailand', set 200 years ago.

    He calls himself Peter Timberlake and operates his con from the “Paradise Suite” in the Thai City of Patiya.

    But his “Office Suite” is a seat in one of Patiya's hundreds of girlie bars. And his firm “Paradise Movies" Inc. does not exist - though he does have a home movie video camera in a local pawnshop.

    The slogan of “Paradise Movies” is “A cut above the rest”. And when the News of the World found Clarke he was half-cut above the rest.

    An investigator confronted him at Jan’s Bar. “Yes I am Paradise Movies”, he slurred. “But I've been up boozing all night and need to think before I speak to you."

    Then he vanished and our man found him at The Jasmine, on Patiya's beach, - a bar offering girls for sex. He was working for £2 per night touting for customers.

    Asked if he intended to return the cash he had defrauded, he replied, “ I can't even afford the price of a beer”.

    Thai Police and Immigration officials are now looking into the fraud.

    One British yachtsman who fell for the con is architect Fred Howells of Christchurch, Dorset.

    He sent off his £55 after seeing Clarke's ad in November, and even rang Thailand to check.

    Mr Howells, 55, said, “someone there said they would look for him in his office, so I assumed it was genuine”

    Yacht skipper Alan Stevens of East London, also wrote but smelt a rat.

    “When I contacted Yachting Monthly they admitted they had lots of complaints about the advert”, said Alan, 47.

    No one from Yachting Monthly was available to comment.

    Michael writes home seeking help

    Needless to say Michael got himself into trouble and wrote home to our Mum and Dad for help. This is Michael’s letter home that he sent shortly after this news article.

    Punnee Bar Babbua Muang, Kanchanaburi Thailand 7100

    Dear Mum and Dad,


    How are you both? Keeping well I hope. It will be good weather in England so you will be able to enjoy your garden. It’s been four months since your last letter, which you sent to Peunnee Bar in Kanchanaburi. That was the only letter I ever received from there. I did reply to that letter but everyone seems to be having problems with mail to and from England.

    Last time I wrote I was working for a tracking company but after I set them up with two main agents they double-crossed me. Things here are getting from bad to worse. Six weeks ago I lost all my money £700. I was in my room on a raft house. A big storm came, which caused a lot of damage, a lot of my belongings went to the bottom of the lake 100 meters deep, together with my money and Passport. I reported it to the police and got a report to give to the Embassy in Bangkok. I wrote

    to the Embassy in Bangkok but so far no answer. In my letter I told them I had a photocopy of my passport and lost my money. I am in Thailand with no money and my visa is out of date about £400. I also told them I had no one in England to help me financially. The tourist police told me not to worry, as it was an accident, which should stop me from going to prison. Now I don’t know what to do. At the moment I am living with a Thai family 80 Km east of Kanchanaburi at Sisawats Great Lake. They have several bamboos raft houses designed for tourists but they are in very bad repair so I am helping them to repair them so at least I get food and keep (but no wages). If we get tourists I will get some money but at the moment it is low season and the many political problems in Bangkok is not helping. If I don’t hear from the Embassy soon I will have to try to go to Bangkok to see them.

    I know that over the past few years I have been stupid. I have lost every penny, even my daughter, and my credibility. I am stuck in Thailand penny less. Even if I could get home where would live and what would I do? I am not well and I am not young and most of all I have no spirit to live. Even when I had money I wasn’t happy. I know I had a reasonable job and a nice flat but I was so screwed up inside it was sending me crazy. Even when Jessica came to see me it was heart breaking for me when she went home. I know you both love Jessica very much and because of me you cannot see her, I wrote to her a couple of times but no answer.

    Please Mum and Dad give me a few words of wisdom as I think that this depression could be the end of me. I thought of writing to Brendan Gibson in Australia but I don’t know his address. May be he could help me with some money and I could work to pay him back.

    All my TV and video equipment you sent I lost due to massive tax duty and also a crook that tricked me.

    The weather here is hot every day. It seems the same, just like England's heat waves when you get them, but the water in the lake is clear and fresh and night air is refreshing. Every one I speak too says the tourist trade in Thailand is finished.

    Please write to me soon and let me know how every one is. Even a quick word to Jessica to say I love her would be good for me. Please when you write don’t give me a lecture on how irresponsible I have been and on how much you have helped me. I know all this and am truly sorry. My marriage break-up I think was the cause of it but I don’t know.

    I expect my financial situation is very bad at home and Margaret and Chris think I am very bad. Please what can I do now?

    Well today is another day and I have just heard from the British Embassy. They tell me that they have no financial resources to help me even though I lost my money and passport. They say I must have money sent from England to clear my over - stay, about £400 otherwise I will be in prison without a doubt. So now it’s making me ill and this Thai family cannot help me much longer. I have written to a few people in Thailand to see if they can help me with a job but I don’t hold much hope.

    I have heard that in Bangkok I could possibly get a job teaching English but I would have to go to Bangkok to check it out. At least if I could get my visa in order and it would keep me straight with immigration and stop me going to prison. The Embassy pointed out any money should come through Thomas Cook Travel Agents and send it to their head office in Siloam Road, Bangkok and would only take 24 hours or so and on proof of I.D. I could draw it. But I would have to know when to go to Bangkok, which would mean a telegram here first to let me know from you. I know you think I have a damn cheek after all you have done for me over the years but I have no one else to turn to. I have written to David and Irene for help and advice.

    I really am going crazy with the thought of going to a Thai Prison.

    If you cannot help I will understand as I feel that you have done too much for me in the past and I should be old enough to take care of my self, but this is Thailand in the 3rd World.

    I have just had a thought ----- for me to get to Australia. I need a return ticket out to get an entry visa and this I doubt if Brendan would do anyway but please try and locate his address for me.

    Please send my letter on to David, as I do not know his new address. Write soon and take care.

    Your loving son Michael.

    PS I have written to the Embassy again asking what will happen if I give myself up. I think they will hand me over to immigration to lock me up. Then the Embassy will inform you that I am in Prison but I don’t know.

    Mum and Dad fed up with Michael

    Mum and dad were fed up with what they thought were Michael’s irresponsible ways and they despaired of him. I think mum in the end sent him the money to get him out and back to England.

    On a letter received from Michael Mum wrote "turning point" so I assume she felt Michael was changing his ways.

    Turning Point

    Mum writes turning point on the top of a letter dated 10th July 1992, sent by Michael from Sam’s Place, Song Kwan Rd, Kanchanabari.

    Michael writes, “Last week I went to Bangkok to speak with the embassy but they told me no help can be given what so ever and the only way is to get some money from home to clear my visa overstay and an air ticket home. They said they would get their office in London to contact you. I have also written to Auntie Edith.

    The straight facts are as follows: I have been on overstay since February 16th which is 100B fine a day= £350 to date. And to clear it I must have the money to go to the immigration plus an air ticket home £300. If not I will go to prison and work off my fine for £2 per day. Then I have to pay for the air ticket and deportation costs, which doesn’t get me anywhere. They will keep me in prison indefinitely until money comes. Every day I stay here is about another £2.40.

    I am ill with worry. I do not have any thing left here or in England, only my family who have helped me time and time again. I have been so foolish over my life. I have no will power to go on living. I cannot face the future. I know I must find a way to get back to England. David said I could live with him for a while which could be good as I could not face living in Eastbourne. I would have to start where nobody knows me, as I can’t handle being with people who know what’s happened to me since I have been in Thailand.

    Why did the Embassy tell you I was fit and well? How do they know how much I am suffering inside myself? At the moment I am living at the above address. My clothes I keep in a hold- all and I keep it in the toilet of a boat where I sleep on deck at night. I get food free but that’s all.

    Please, please help me, as I know the Embassy cannot. Please give me a ring with a word of encouragement. The best time is at 11 am your time. Just ask for Michael. PS. I have written to every one I know for help but no joy.

    All my love Michael xxx.

  5. A dramatic change in my life

    It was at this time, while Michael was in Thailand, that I now realised that I was searching for something that I hadn’t got from within my marriage, even though I had a wife, four children, a nice house and a good job. I had come out of depression (a sever manic low) and was now beginning to climb higher.

    My wife had begun her degree course and I felt she began to look down upon those who was not as educated as she was. Also I felt that she no longer respected me, as I was not an Art student graduate, just a mere low-level engineer. I had listened to the Postmodernist arguments regarding morality and religion and became a perfect student as I began to deny the existence of God and to entertain the idea of an open marriage.

    Meeting Silver Girl


    For the sake of anonymity I have named my wife to be, “Silver Girl”, due to the addiction I experienced through meeting her, or “Nurse Ratchet”, depending on my mood as I write. Nurse Ratchet is a character in the film, “One Flew over a Cock Cuckoo’s Nest”, staring Jack Nicholson. Nurse Ratchet was a psychiatric nurse and it so happened I fell in love with a psychiatric nurse.

    The name “Silver Girl” is taken from the line of the song “Bridge over troubled Waters”, by Simon and Garfunkel. In this song they make mention of Sliver Girl, which is of course the heroine needle that the addict depends upon.

    One Sunday morning, in 1992, whilst my family and I were attending the Titchfield Evangelical Church, we met a lady in the car park, behind the doctors’ surgery. She was blond and had four children with her. She was going to the same church that we were going to.

    I soon discovered she was not the mother of all these children. She only had two children and she was separated from her husband. My wife and I befriended her and we became good friends.

    I had not long come out of depression and I notice my mood getting higher. I began to feel very happy. I began to be interested in my wife's studies at university and we began to do interesting things. Silver Girl became my wife's very close friend and at that time I was very happy and on reflection was rising out of depression into a manic high.

    We met interesting people, Dr Geoff Parsons, a doctor in psychology and moderator of the local Macintosh user group in Southampton, who specialised in people’s sexual problems. We met another Mac user, Richard Block, the former of B&Q; he was the original Block & Quail. My wife at that time had a crush on him but he was interested in health foods and alternative medicine. During this time I began to fall in love with Silver Girl.

    Making music

    During this time my memories of former pop music came to the front and I recalled songs by the Everly Brothers and Billy Fury. I was so taken with these old songs that I ask one of my students, Jim Berry, who was a keyboard player in a local group and a former member of The Yarbirds, to compose a backing track to “Halfway to Paradise”, by Billy Fury. This was before karaoke was well known and I took this track and played it at Silver Girl's party, singing the words, which were for her.

    Falling in love

    It wasn't long before I felt Silver Girl would full- fill my every dream. I knew this was wrong but with my newfound philosophy that I had learned from my wife’s Cultural Studies at Portsmouth University I ignored my conscience and felt no one could say it was wrong. So because I wanted this relationship with Silver Girl, I denied the truth of God, in order to get what I wanted.

    Michael returns from Thailand

    I was at this time, June 1993, that my brother Michael returned from Thailand and he did not look well at all, and on reflection he was suffering from depression but said nothing to me. He had nowhere to live, or money. So he came to live with me at our home in Fareham. He was quite content to live in our caravan, in our front garden and stayed with us until he was able to decide his way forward. He met Silver Girl and was aware of the developing relationship but said nothing. It was after this that he made the decision to return to our parent's home, in Eastbourne and it was there he earned money by buying and selling cars.

    Highlands Road and the BMX Bike Frame

    My mood was very high at this time and one day Isaac came home from school very upset because some lad up Highlands Road had tucked him up for £13.00. Apparently he had offered him a BMX bike frame for £13.00, as he wanted money that we later found out was to buy 1/8th ounce of Hash. Isaac gave him the money in exchange for the BMX frame but the lad would not give him the frame. I felt very angry and realized what I must do. I was dressed in an overall and said to Isaac come with me and we will find this person. I drove my motorbike with Isaac on the back and we toured the Highlands estate asking for the where about of this boy.


    We were directed to a house where he lived and I marched up to the front door and knocked him up. When he opened the door Isaac confirmed it was him so I, without hesitation, marched into his house, not caring whom else might be there and simply demanded “WHERE IS IT”, meaning the frame or the money. The boy must have been about 16 years old and said he had neither. To which I replied, “Right go and get me something worth money”, and he asked why and said is it for security”, to which I replied, “Yes”. He bought from upstairs a stereo system and a quick look found it poor quality so I said that is not good enough go and get a better one. When he returned with a better one I informed him he could collect the stereo when he paid back the £13.00. Then we drove off.

    Isaac flat Land Motor Bike Burnt out

    The next day when I retuned from work I was informed that the next door neighbour’s motor bike had been set light too and I then realized that this was done in retaliation for me taking the stereo system in payment for the £13.00 taken from Isaac. I was thankful that the bike next door was insured against such crime. That how ever wasn’t the end of the matter as word had got around that they had hit the wrong bike and the next day my bike was taken and found burned out in the park, down the road to Appleton Road. I thought that’s OK as I was insured too but I later discovered, to my disappointment, that I had to pay the first £150.00 on any insurance claim. I only paid £150.00 for the bike so I lost out and the Highland Road lads got one over on me. (I wonder who they are?)

    Leaving my wife and children

    Thinking totally of my self- I can’t blame anyone else - and after my wife had discovered that I had a relationship with Silver Girl, I left her and moved out of my house, taking all the things I needed with me. I took our caravan and joined the Abshott Country Club, parking the caravan in their camping park. I was hoping all would be easy, that the dust would settle and things would turn out well. This was not to be the case because although I could see Silver Girl I felt so very guilty and this spoiled our times together as I tried to suppress my guilt.

    My wife, with her newfound education and philosophy, had opened her mind to new ideas and she too had her own doubts about God. She had entertained the idea of another partner at one time and leaving me. However things had turned. I wanted to marry the girl I loved. But things were far from easy. I began to reason there was no God, no condemnation and so I could do as I pleased and I was going to get my woman at all costs.

    But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord”. 11 Samuel 11 verses


    This is a quotation from the bible, which relates the story of David, the king, who committed adultery with Bathsheba and she became pregnant. The story tells how David arranged to have her husband killed, so he could marry her and cover up his sin. This happened - her husband was killed and David married Bathsheba but the baby died. They did however have another child who became the ancestor of Jesus Christ.

    In my case things did fail. I had left my wife and got my girl but we were both very miserable and insecure with each other. Silver Girl realized she could not cope with the situation, as things stood. I became depressed and at the end of myself and had nowhere to turn for help. I was desperate alone in my caravan not being able to see a good future.

    In this condition I knew I needed God but I did not believe in God. I knew I had wronged my wife, children and many others, in the process. I would have invented God, if I could, for I believed that only God could help us in our situation. It was impossible. I just needed to cry out for help, to someone or being, to deliver me from my utter despair.

    A Prodigal Son

    I knew that I could not pray to God (the God whom I remembered and knew from the scriptures) in my present state because of a truth, which had remained with me. It is written, God will not hear the prayer of the wicked. I knew that whilst I was not prepared to give up my sin, I could not pray since God would not hear my prayers –

    i.e. if I regarded that iniquity in my heart.

    At that time when I was living in my caravan at Abshott Country Club, I remember reasoning how I might turn back to God in prayer. I shared my thoughts with Silver Girl and we both decided we had to give up our relationship because it was wrong and I ought to offer to go back to my wife.

    At that time I met a friend, from the Lock Heath Free Church, and he made an appointment to see me, in order to talk through my dilemma and difficulties. He was a great help and support and encouraged me to seek God. Both he and his wife had been through divorce and difficulties and were able to appreciate all the heartache and pain that was associated with divorce and separation.

    If it were not for the mercy of God I would have been totally lost and in an awful state of mind. I may have ended my life, as things were so bad. I had nowhere else to turn and I needed God more than ever before. I bless the Lord for He heard my cry.

    It was then that the simple words of Jesus that helped me and washed my mind of the lies I had believed. Faith came to me by hearing the Word of God.

    On reflection I now know God had called me back to Himself, as He was not going to let me go. As Jesus had once said to me he would never leave me. I left him but he came after me using life’s difficulties to drive me home.

    I spoke to my wife about the situation and informed her I would return to her if she wanted but thankfully she informed me she had found a partner and wanted to divorce me. This was in February 1993.

    I was made to walk the plank

    When I was told that my wife was going to divorce me I was thankful because I now felt I could return to be with Silver Girl without my conscience accusing me that I must return to my wife. I was shocked and taken back when I broke the good news to Silver Girl as I thought she too would be happy. This was not the case! She felt that I had only returned because my wife had rejected me, that I had wanted to return to her. Silver Girl maintained that this made her feel second best. I was speechless because it had been muted before that she could not feel secure with me as I had already left a wife and what would prevent me doing the same to her? She had reasoned that if I had the capacity to leave a wife and children, without a conscience than I would be a cold and callous individual.

  6. Number 2 Hayling Close: A period between two wives

    In the early part of 1993 to 94 I decided I should find more suitable accommodation rather than live in the caravan throughout the winter. Silver Girl had her own house, living with her two children and we believed we should wait until we were married before we lived together. From this time our relationship was so unstable and insecure it was touch and go if we would ever make it together. It was awful for me as every time we argued Silver Girl would say she would move to Canada or France if ever she thought I did not want her or if we split up.

    Anyway, I enquired about a room, which had become available in Hayling Close, in Fareham, It was here that I met Simon Noel and his cat "Baldric" who only had three legs. Simon also rented a room at number 2 and David Jennings was our landlord.

    There was a rear garden that had overgrown with an ironing board in the middle and a tin foil food take away tray, formed into a do -it -yourself barbecue sitting on the board. I thought the garden was a mess, ideal how ever for a cat. This became my home for the next 3 years while I waited my release by divorce, which took place in August 1996.

    It was here that I began to contend with my bi-polar or manic mood swings. As the disputes, arguments and insecurities that I experience with Nurse Ratchet plunged me now into those chasms of deep depression. However my creative mind, on a high, devised ideas to sustain the highs, to prevent my depressions. At one time during these depressed periods I had contemplated suicide, using my brothers shot gun, but I kept these things secret and told no one but a Samaritan Counsellor in Portsmouth. I fought the lows of depression by creating artificial highs, as will be seen by the things that I got up too during this period.

    I wanted more room

    After living in one room for a few weeks and sharing the downstairs lounge with Simon, I noticed the small bedroom was not in use and was filled with Simon’s gear, so I asked the landlord if I could rent this room as well as the room I had. I wanted my kids to come and stay with me, from time to time. They were Isaac (14), Esther (13), Eleanor (11), and David (11), who all lived with their mother and they were students at Henry Cort School. I don't think Simon was please with this arrangement because that was Baldric’s bedroom, and Simon also wanted it as a free office. Simon was a bit like his cat and was territorial as he placed one or two of his things everywhere, including the garage, just to say he lived there too.

    Harrods of Abshott

    I had far more time on my hands, than a married man would have had, and at that time I discovered “Harrods of Abshott”, the most salubrious shopping centre in Hampshire.

    I soon learned there were other branches in Southampton, Gosport and Port Solent. There were many bargains to be found at Harrods that I could not really refuse to buy. There were televisions, computers, washing machines, weighing machines, tools, equipment, furniture and clothing and they were generally all at rock bottom prices. “Harrods” was in fact the local amenity tip – the dump. Now run by Shaun of Hopkins Recycling Company of Botley, Hampshire.

    Shopping for other people

    I often found my self-shopping with other people in mind, which meant that when I saw items of value that I did not really need I would buy the valuable article for someone I had in mind. I asked Simon if I could just put a few things in the garage and use it as a store. Not that it was Simon’s garage but because he was the older, long-standing tenant, and he had taken over the garage for himself.

    After a few weeks he began to moan about my televisions and other things being stored in the garage. I think he felt I was taking over the house. (Which I was).

    The Television License

    It was shortly after that we had a blazing row over his TV Licence and then he wanted my things out of the garage. His problem was that he had paid for a television license for his room, and not for the benefit of whole house. He did this because in the past the other tenants did not wish to club together and buy one license, for the whole house, so he had bought his own and informed the licensing authority that the other tenants needed to buy their own as he was not prepared to pay for others to watch TV at his expense. This was Simon’s way to ensure that no one else at the house could benefit from the license he had bought.

    Now Simon had not told me about this history however things began to fall into place because a week previously he had slipped a note under my bedroom door, which was from the TV licensing authority wanting me to buy a license.

    You see I never watched the TV but he did. He was unemployed and watched his TV all alone in his own room but had been caught watching it without a licence and was required to renew his license and possibly face a fine

    His drift was this; if I were to contribute half the money to renew his license then I could watch the TV set in the lounge because his licence would cover that as well. This sounded very reasonable at first but I felt there was something more to the scheme than Simon had let on, so I said no. This niggled Simon.

    What niggled Simon was the fact that I repaired TV’s and videos in the lounge, and I had also started storing them in the garage. Simon did not like it because he began to think the Licensing Authority did not trouble the house to inspect for licenses simply because he had paid for one already. In effect he thought I was benefiting from him having a licence - I should pay.

    He had the garage and because I refused to buy a TV licence he was not very co operative with me and did not want me storing TV’s and other things, in the (his?) garage.

    I had moved in and Simon knew it

    I had moved in and he knew it and he felt if I had a TV or repaired them in the house then I would have to buy a licence. So Simon did have a point.

    However as far as I was concerned I only collected TV’s from the dump and repaired them with other people in mind. I did not need a TV even though most people did. I suppose I felt that the TV license was a good earner. For me and my argument went like this; I repaired televisions for other people to watch and so they would have to buy their own license and of course the government would be helped financial by my service. So really I felt I should be exempt from a licence. This was my drift and I still think there is some mileage in my argument.

    Simon was not happy and I am sure he thought I was most unreasonable but he never thought to discuss it with me he just went off “Half cocked.” One evening it happened - as I repaired a TV set in the lounge that evening he became very angry. He came at me in frenzy and threatening to hit me with a chair, as he smashed it across the table. He was a well-built man and about 6 feet tall and he could have flattened, me if he had hit me, but I stood my ground and he scurried off back to his room.

    I take over the house at Hayling Close

    It was soon after this that Simon left because he had had enough of me and he took the other tenants with him, leaving the house empty. It was now that the landlord offered me the whole house for £400 per month and gave me permission to rent out the other rooms. This was unfortunate for the neighbours, who did not share my interests. I took over the house and my habits continued. Shopping at Harrods continued. The more people I knew the more items I found to buy and so I soon filled the garage with wonderful items of value.

    I take in lodgers

    My first tenant was a Mr Alan McCarthy, a window cleaner who had come from Manchester, although he had lived in Fareham for some time. I said he could have a room for £40 per week. I hadn't realised, but he had been living in a motor vehicle ambulance in a garage, somewhere near Segensworth throughout that winter, and had severe problems due to possible drug abuse and his broken marriage. I discovered he was a baptised member of the Mormon Church but was not actually practising. I think he appreciated the fact that I took him, in without references. He had a few pounds, but that was all.

    For Alan things were not easy and I am sure he felt a bit like Jonah (a character from the Bible) as things started to go wrong for him the moment he moved in with me. In straightening out his room he attempted to nail down the floorboards only to find he put a nail through the central heating water pipe that Sunday evening and water was

    running everywhere. Alan felt he was to blame and found it difficult to cope with. Nevertheless I soon fixed this, to his relief.

    My next tenant was Sean Land (some say Private Land). He was a friend of Alan and had been living in his Ford Fiesta during the winter nights too. I think Sean also had problems with drug misuse, a broken relationship and was not able to see his daughter. Sean had a more personal problem- his music and his feet. His music was too loud and his feet smelt.

    It was their music, which caused the neighbours to complain to the council. We were served with noise monitoring forms and threatened with confiscation of equipment if the noise level was not kept down. It was difficult to convince these lads of the amount of noise they were making.

    The next inmate was Mark, another acquaintance of Alan and Sean. Occasionally Mark's girlfriends stayed the night.

    Joe Neve was the next to take up residence; he loved cars and was in an out of trouble with the police all the time.

    It was from Joe that I obtained my lovely Fiesta, a 1.4 cc engine, in nice condition, for

    £40. This car took the place of my car (TAN 707Y), which I bought, from a Motor Vehicle lecturer at Fareham College.


    David's Fiesta - one of the best cars I had (Cheers Joe)

    A run in with the Police

    The problem with older cars is that they tend to go wrong but a Fiesta can be easily fixed. One evening, coming back from Gosport my exhaust pipe was blowing and I got pulled over by the police on a routine spot check. I was given a “Producer”, which is a note to get the car fixed within 7 days. On my way home however, I had to pick

    up my daughter, Esther, from the Locks Heath Free Church, and in the dark I realised my indicators had stopped working when I was nearing the church. I noticed another police car coming in the other direction towards me and I felt anxious and thought “oh dear” as my indicators were not working and I would now be pulled over again. So I quickly pulled into the church car park. I then left the car unlocked and tried to enter the church only to find the doors locked. I then felt certain the police were about to come back to the car and check it out. I had lots of things in side, which looked like I was moving house but to a policeman it would look like I had robbed a house. Not wanting to face another interrogation from the police I decided I would just leave the car and come back to it later. So I went around the back of the church, walked up the road and rang up Esther to find out where she was, but first I had to climb a fence, a wooden spiked fence. As I straddled the wooden spiky fence, I slipped and felt the spike go up into my groin. I was stuck, in pain, straddle across a fence, almost hanging by my testicles. This was because I did not want another rectification certificate for my indicator lamps or a fine.

    I managed to get down from the fence and hobble up the road. My inside legs felt wet and warm. It was not too painful so I hobbled to the phone and found out where Esther was.

    After this I decided I had had enough. I thought to myself - what I am doing here hobbling about in pain waiting for the police to leave me alone. I told myself that I would return the car, confront the police, and just go home, as it was only the winkers that had stopped working. I was hoping that the police had gone by now.

    As I walked back down Hunts Pond Road the police car had parked along side my Fiesta. I marched up to them and asked directly could I help them, as they were busy checking the car over. I had left the doors unlocked and they were now checking to see if I owned the car. They could see all the stuff in side and it must have looked as though I had robbed a house. They asked me who I was and did the car belong to me and what was I doing. I then explained to them I had come to collect my daughter but the youth group had closed earlier and she had been picked up. By this time a returned radio call to the police radio confirmed I was the owner of the car (Thankfully I had it registered in my name and it was taxed and I had an insurance certificate). They then left me and I drove home. The winkers were not even mentioned.

    All I did was retire to bed as I was not well and did not see the damage that I had done by being spiked with the wooden stake. I slept in my clothes and called for help the next morning. When my wife -to- be came, who was a nurse, she said I must go to hospital as I was damaged. The stake had pierced my left testicle sack and blood was everywhere, all down my trouser legs and it was difficult to see the extent of the damage.

    After going to QA Hospital I was examined and it was felt I would have to go to St Mary's Hospital for surgery, as it was a severe wound. It was there that two male Indian doctors dealt with me. “This won’t hurt,” said one of them and I saw like a huge syringe needle in the other mans hand. They opened my legs (I felt very

    embarrassed and humiliated when they asked how it happened) they thought that I was a burglar running from the police.

    I was sewn up and eventually released.

    It was a very near close shave and I felt God had a sense of humour and I must learn a lesson. I wonder if you could tell me the lesson. E-mail me with your thoughts. The torn jeans were hung up in my lounge for a along time as a token to remember.

    My house becomes full

    The next inmate was Rob White, a friend of Sean, who had nowhere to live, so he had Baldric’s bedroom. Rob had a small Jack Russell, called Sally, and shortly after that Rob's girl friend Carla Walsh needed short-term accommodation. Carla was only 16 years old and I was informed her mother had kicked her out. She moved in as well - I had tried to get alternative accommodation with a girl called Angie - which is another story. Needless to say Carla and Sally ended up at number 2 Hayling Close.


    Sam Jones& Bruno, Carla, Sally, Rob and Joe Neve

    By this time Alan had met a girl called Samantha Jones from Manchester and she bravely moved to Fareham to be with Alan. Sam had a son called John and a small Jack Russell, called Bruno and they were looking for a home of their own. They all ended up at number 2 Hayling Close. Sam's son John spoke with an accent just as I had done when I moved at 5 years old from Oldham to Watford. He would always ask me technical questions about how to repair things and Sam soon realised he had become my apprentice.


    John my apprentice

    Joe's friend Kinder soon wanted somewhere to live as he had just come out of prison so the lounge had to be his room. The lounge had been my room and so I had to move out.

    If you have tried to live in a house with 10 or 11 people and two small Jack Russell's - it is quite taxing. Sometimes Sean and his friends would stay the night so the house was quite full. It was Rob and Carla that cause a bit of a stress as they always left their washing up undone. They always denied it so I ended up by installing a "No bodies washing up sink”, which I had managed to scavenge from Harrods.


    No bodies "Washing Up Sink"

    The House Court

    About this time my go-kart, which had been given me by a farmer who attended in Wantage Strict Baptist Chapel many years ago, was stolen from outside my wife's- to- be house in Stubbington.

    After making a few enquiries I found out who had taken it so I decided rather than get these youngsters (16 year olds) into trouble with the police I would give them a chance. I spoke to one of the culprit's mothers (he is P.R. of Stubbington) and told her what I intended to do and she was most obliging and appreciated me not involving the police. I knew where the kart was and went to the house and sure enough the lad was there. I simply said I had come to collect the kart. He was unable to say a word as there it was in the back garden, so I got him to help me put it in the Fiesta. I told him that I wanted to see him and his friend at 8.00 p.m. the next day as I was taking them to my house for a hearing.


    Alan the House Court Judge

    At 8 p.m. the next night, I collected these two lads (their names are withheld) and I had assembled in the lounge at number 2 Hayling Close a lounge villain, ex-convicts, friends and renowned characters from Fareham. Rob White's brother was there, who has just been released from prison. These made up the court. Alan McCarthy was the judge.

    The two 16 year olds stood (in there peer group they would have been considered cool and hard) as quiet as mice. I think they were asked whether they pleaded guilty or very guilty. After listening to me, then to David White, and a few others they were warned of the dangers of stealing goods etc. We did not want them ending up like some of us. They were fined £25 (the cost of a powder coat re-spray) and given time to pay. The money was paid on time. We heard no more about these lads. I hoped

    they learned their lesson. If you know them get them to e- mail me as they are on my list.

    I move into a tent in the back garden:

    My lodgers were generally people who really needed help. Their friends began to want to live with us and gradually the house was full. Of course the neighbours found this household too much to cope with and some believed that we had become a religious sect.

    I decided after this time to move out in the garden to make room for Kinder, Joe's friend. So I built a spacious tent in the garden out of scaffold poles and an awning from Harrods. It was a lovely (tent) room. I had a wardrobe, drawers, and table System etc. Some said I was like Lawrence of Arabian living in the comfort of a lovely tent in the summer. I enjoyed my stay that summer but then the winter came.

    image image

    David's tent in the garden Inside David's tent

    At that time one of my mature students from Fareham College offered me a room in his house, in Locks Heath. I stayed here until November 1996, when I had planned to marry Silver Girl and then we could live together. This was to avoid Fareham Borough Council charging us with over- crowding a domestic residence.

    image image

    The tent comes down Sean and his friends

    All these lads are on "Dave's List"

    Do I need a good woman or a minder?

    On reflection, as I look over this period of my life, I realise that I was not safe living on my own but rather needed a good woman behind me but some would say I needed a minder. I'm of the opinion that if Silver Girl been a real help to me, the neighbours would have been spared an awful lot of trouble. She would have been sensitive enough to help with the situations that arose and ensured that I considered the neighbours.

    It is for this reason I now blame Silver Girl for all the troubles that the neighbour’s had at Hayling Close !. If had we been living together in a proper relationship she would have ensured the neighbours were not troubled by the things I got up to. Instead she was living away from me, as a single parent, doing a full time job. I now maintain that had she been the homemaker I wanted and not the stereotypical women chauvinist, claiming equal rights with men, then the neighbours would have had a reasonable time through her help. So I really feel that Hayling Close had Silver Girl to blame for all their troubles, to this day. That is my story and I am sticking to it (tongue in cheek).

    A fresh look at Christian Marriage

    At this time I began to take a fresh look at Christian marriage and studied what the Bible had to say. When sharing my findings with Silver Girl she agreed and we wanted a Christian marriage. I thought that much of societies troubles of the day were due to the influence of television and programs which portrayed the modern views of the world, many of which I believed were wrong. In particular I blamed the inequalities between men and women and the over reaction in society to redress these problems. I felt that those women who were claiming equal rights with men were contributing to all the evils in the world. My conclusions and my understanding of what a Christian marriage is all about are recorded in Chapter 30 of this book. I accepted every tenet and sought to live this way with Silver Girl.

    I began to learn, through the many arguments I had with Silver Girl, and those problems that I had with women in the past, that the problems were due to them having lost sight of their created roles as helpers. They had become dictators. In every case that I had met I noticed such women loose their beauty and become the proverbial nag, or nagger. At one time such women would have been ducked in the ducking stool (I.e. a trial by water) as being a witch i.e. one that control a man by subtlety. Maybe that was my manic reaction to my trouble with women.

    It took me a long time and much pain to realise that women are far more sensitive to situations than men and that women are best to judge such issues, which cause others to be upset. Men just do not think. They certainly do not think like women. Hence my new proposed book “Electronics made easy”, which is a humorous book making use of those differences between men and women, by describing the operations of complicated electronic circuits in a new light. I tried this out whilst teaching students about the operation of a tuned circuit whilst at Fareham College,

    the inductor having the characteristics of a man whilst the capacitor has the characteristics of woman. My students loved my illustrations. We made a video of one lecture and I am sure John Cleese would find it most amusing.

    Seeking to help Alan and Sam

    On one occasion Silver Girl and I went to help Alan and Sam as Alan had gone out for the evening with his friends to a night club, leaving Sam on her own and she was concerned that Alan might be returning to his former bad habits. We both went to see Sam and I suggested it would be good for us to pray together for her and with her as I had hoped that they might find God's help. In conversation I said to Silver Girl, when referring to Alan who had gone off to the nightclub, “There go I but for the grace of God”. In other words if I did not have Christian values, I might be just like Alan, wanting to go out to a nightclub, with his mates, when I could have been at home with my family and not seeking the life of single man, without responsibilities.

    This really caused Silver Girl to react, she fell really insecure, and wanted to talk about the matter immediately rather than give Sam the support we had come to give. I was aware that this was just the beginning of another row and wanted to talk to talk about it later, not in front of Sam. So I refused to talk about it there and then. The atmosphere at number 2 went so tense that Sam left and went to her room, and of course we were of no help or comfort to her. Eventually Silver Girl got up and left, walking or getting a taxi back to her home. She felt I was saying that I wanted to go out just like Alan and that it was only the fact that I believed in God that prevented this. She feared that if ever I turned away from God then would be off leaving her. This of course is nonsense. Every Christian will admit the human heart is capable of many wrong things and that God is the one who keeps them from falling. I am not sure if this matter was ever resolved or if Silver Girl understood what I was saying or meant.

  7. Michael and the Philippines "Paradise Express" 1995

    Michael during this time had new ideas and sought to develop his ideas to form a travel business. He had met Freddy Laker earlier in his life and put together his business plan; "Paradise Express" and he informed me of what he intended to do in the Philippines in February, 1995. He had been to Angeles City, in the Philippines, and identified many nightclubs, hotels and travel attractions and agreed to work with those businesses already functioning in the sex industry. Michael intended to sell package tours aimed at single men, to take advantage of those attractions already functioning. I felt it was wrong. I had already spoken to him, at our mum and dad's home, after I had seen his advertising for his "Paradise Express". He was advertising holidays, in the English National newspapers, for persons to enjoy the sexual attractions, which was offered in Angeles City, in the Philippines.

    image image

    Front & rear cover of "Paradise Express"

    He maintained it was all right that they loved that sort of thing and every one was into it. He maintained that it was perfectly above board and legitimate. However I was not happy about it and asked him how would he like some man to use his daughter Jessica as a sexual attraction and be one of the girls he was advertising. He said he wouldn't but out there they are different – and maintained they loved it

    Michael is arrested in the Philippines

    It was a very shocking and sad to hear the news in June 1995 on the television, that Tuesday lunchtime, at Fareham College. It was announced that an English sex tour operator had been arrested and remanded in custody in the Philippines, to await a trial.

    At that time I had no real idea what the actual charges were against him but realised it was to do with his travel business, involving all the existing exotic nightlife and sex attractions in Angeles City. I had no idea that the allegation was to do with child prostitution.

    The ITN news at 10, that evening, showed a video clip of Michael apparently directing an enquirer to a child prostitute. The pictures were very convincing and I felt very sad and groaned in side, I was shocked because I had no reason to ever think Michael would be involved with child prostitution. He had always been straightforwardly blatant with what he had done in the past and so I had no reason to believe he was involved now in the said sad and awful crime until now.

    Michael had written to the Eastbourne Herald asking Anne Mari Shields to contact mum and dad, as he could get not through to them. He wrote, "I'm fine but the thought of being on possible Death Row is getting to me. My attorney is great so far we a winning. An armed escort has transferred me from the military jail and I am now at the Headquarters N.B.I. Olongopo City".

    No doubt Mum and dad were not responding the way Michael wanted this was probable due to the last time he got in trouble in Bangkok, Thailand. Mum had to do so much for him and deal with all his affairs. Mum had become ill and couldn't deal with the demands he kept placing on them for financial help and dealing with his affairs in England.

    Our Mother Dies

    It was the 29th February 1996, that my mother died, leaving my father a widower and the stated cause of death being pulmonary embolism, deep vein thrombosis of the leg and Coronary artery thrombosis and atherosclerosis. I was of the opinion that the awful news of Michaels arrest in June 1995 and imprisonment in the Philippines, was contributory to her death as I felt she really died of a broken heart.

    No sympathy for my brother

    I too had little sympathy for Michael because Mum had bailed him out of Prison (for not paying he visa) in Thailand and no sooner had come home he was off and gone to the Philippines and was in trouble again. His travel business was immoral (from my

    point of view) as it was trading on the promiscuous nature of persons not bound by Christian values. It was encouraging fornication and I was opposed to him and this activity and I had told him so, before he went to the Philippines. Just like I warned Ken Knight about his bogus insurance scam.

    I learned later that Michael had protested his innocence from the beginning and maintained that a certain Fr. Shay Cullen, an Irish Priest, was behind the set up and apparently it was he who directed the ITV news video crew to entrap him on Baloy Beach.

    The full NBI report of this incident was brought to me by Suny Wilson, the English man who was sentenced to death, on 16th September 1996, after he was acquitted, on the 19th December 1999, when he returned to the UK. This report clears Michael of the said charges but seriously indicts Fr. Shay Cullen. I never saw this report until January 2000 some 5 years after the event. This information is all recorded in my publication Trojan Warriors.

    Michael was set up (entrapment)

    Michael had been found guilty of "Promoting child prostitution", in the Philippines in October 1996 and sentenced to a term 14 to 16 years. To be served in New Bilibid Prison. Muntinlupa City, Philippines. Had always protested his innocence. His sentence was announced on national ITV news and it was the previous ITN news clips, which were used as evidence to convict him in the Philippine court. It was awful it made him out to be selling children for sex. The exact nature of the offences was not clear from the News item.

    I had written to Michael several times and I found it difficult really believe he had been selling or promoting child prostitution, as the ITN TV camera portrayed. He had written to me and I have the whole story written in his own hand, as to how he was "set up" by Martin Cottingham, Adam Holloway and Fr. Shah Cullen.

    Michael maintains the TV camera was cut and spliced to make out he was doing some thing he was not. He also describes what actually took place between Malcolm Cottingham and his friend Adam Holloway, as they pretended to be holiday seekers with Paradise Express.

    Michael was very bitter against Shay Cullen and this showed in his letter to me, he really believes him to be the real culprit of these evil actions. He outlined his life style as a man having a luxury life style and in a lovely mansion with bodyguards etc. and soliciting funds from abroad, using headline-catching news to attract further funds from abroad. These things he wrote in his letters.

    Crime Prevention Programs

    Whilst Michael was suffering in prison in the Philippines I was at home reassessing my own life in light of my returning Christian convictions and responsibilities towards my children. I was concerned about Isaac’s future and wanted to keep him from

    becoming a criminal. It is on reflection that I am now able to define certain social activities as CPP’s because these were identified as the best way to meet people and steer them away from crime. This meant joining recreation groups or inviting them to join you in any creative activity. I believe these programs are necessary to prevent crime. Also to bring fulfillment to those involved because generally people who are creative need to be actively engaged in good social activity, otherwise they are prone to be involved in crime, in one way or another. One such CPP is that of the BMX social network, which Isaac my son got involved in when he was 13 or 14 years old. And to do this he needed a BMX bike.


    Isaac and Luke Fuller at Skelly Woods

    Any way Isaac got involved in BMX riding and made many friends and at that time they got into “ dirt” riding and him and his BMX’ers made Skelly Woods into a great BMX dirt track. The Council eventually kicked them out which was a real shame.

    Portsmouth Skate Park

    This was the place were many BMX’ers road their bikes and met many o their friends. And it was there that I first meet Dennis WIngham who did a back flip on his old battered BMX. I was very impressed. It was here that Isaac got hooked into what I call a CPP (Crime Prevention Program) as it kept him busy and out of trouble. It provided a social network for friendship and good activity, which is better, them crime. There are sensible and famous people at the Skate Park such as Ephraim Catlow, Isaac Clarke, Denis WIngham, Jim Stevens, Rodney Burnham, Jamie Knipe, Colin Hunt, Martin Hunt, Ronnie Johnson (Remo) DJ Jon Pratt, John

    Hopkins, Richards Wells, Stephen Drain (Drainer) Anthony Pill (Pill) and many more.

    Hasting and Backyard

    Another yearly event for BMX’ers was an event held near Hastings where BMX’er from all over the country, including riders from America would come and ride. It was a real good event and most people camped overnight on common ground. I took Isaac, Esther and their friends in my Transit van and that was were we slept. These CPP’s, such as Portsmouth Skate Park and Backyard events involve those participating in good recreational activities thus keeping them busy, out of trouble and good creative competitive fun.


    Isaac Luke and friends at Backyard event in Hastings

    Isaac Clarke King of Southsea 2011

    The evidence that confirms my believes is that Isaac got linked into BMX and skate board riding from an early age and this year won the 2011 King of Southsea Award. He has never been to prison and managed to avoid becoming a criminal. Unlike me who became a convicted criminal at the age of 17 years old.


    Isaac’s King of Southsea Trophy

    Other Criminal Prevention programs

    Realizing the value of such program’s I began to get involved in all sorts of social activities, which involved Music, Drama, Art, Public Relations. This was the time of my separation from my second marriage, which I will be speaking about later. It kept me busy and occupied and also opened up social networks which enabled me to meet other and share the gospel with them on their terms. There are such a programs such as Faith and Foot Ball, involving Pompy players such as Darren Moore, Linvoy Primus and Mick Mellows. I am sure there are others programs but such programs are needed in our day to prevent the kind of riots that we have recently witnessed in our country.

    Being in the world yet not of the world

    Through my experience and getting involved with these activities I have just mentioned I realized there was not virtue in isolating oneself from the world like some religious people believed we should do. There are many religious groups like this and have such mentality such as the Brethren, Strict Baptists, Jehovah’s Witnesses and so on. I also believed we should be leaders of men rather than followers and it was good to be in touch with critical issues of our time rather than be “several steps behind’. Those that are several steps behind seek to provide answers to questions that people are no longer asking. I believed it was right to be both relevant and

    different as if we fail to be relevant, we cannot be heard. Also if we fail to be different, we have nothing to say. In the meaning of John 17:14–15 14, I have given them

    your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.

    BMX stunt at Portsmouth Harbour (1995)

    During this time my son Isaac rode his BMX with the riders from Portsmouth and I went from time to time to meet the lads at Portsmouth Skate Park. On this occasion these lads were having some fun riding and old BMX bike, up a ramp and over harbour wall, and into the sea. One Sunday afternoon Esther and her friend Emma Jean was there and I had with me my daughter Elly and Jim Gold and we arrived in my Fiesta. It looked great fun riding into the sea on this bike so I decided to have ago. I had never done it before and wanted to pull off a back flip, so I asked some of the lads how to do it. I followed their instructions to the “T” and sure enough up, up and over; I managed to pull off my first back flip on a BMX into the sea. The crowed was great they cheered me on. My daughters were getting concerned and begged me not to do it again s it looked dangerous but I wasn’t deterred.

    Back flip over the Fiesta

    To make it more fun I drove my Fiesta side ways on, at the harbour edge, and got the lads to put the ramp up against it. I was going to do a back flip, jumping the Fiesta into the harbour. Thankfully Dennis WIngham took the lead, with his crash hat on, and pulled of a great back flip over the Fiesta in the sea. My turn next, I had no crash hat, and my girls were begging me not to do it but I peddle as hard as I could, up the ramp, up into the air, pulled back and sure enough a back flip landing in the sea. The crowd gave a great cheer and coming out of the water, on camera was asked how old I was and had to think for a moment. I was 45 years old. The cried He’s the King.


    Jim Stevens Rodney Burnham Keith Cowern Jamie Knipe Colin Hunt Martin Hunt Isaac Clarke, Dennis WIngham, Ronnie Johnston (Remo) DJ Jon Pratt, John Hopkins, Richard Wells, Stephen Drain (Drainer), Anthony Pill (Pill) and loads of the rest of the old Southsea skate park locals... Were all there

    Go to or to view

    My Divorce August 1996

    As far as I was concerned my former marriage ended at the time my wife decided to divorce me and I accepted this because of what I had done. However it took a long time to complete the legal process and finalize the divorce, which took place on the 26th August 1996.

    My future and would I ever marry Silver Girl?

    I was working through my beliefs in respect to what the bible said about wronging, divorce, remarriage and I knew from my knowledge of God that my sins would have to be dealt for me in order for me to receive benefit and help from God. I knew from the bible that this provision had already been made the Son of God, Jesus Christ, dying for sins, the sins the world. It was in this provision that I trusted and believed in God. I could have no relationship with God whilst I was still in my sins and they had to be forgiven. I believed God for the forgiveness of sins and the gift of righteousness. I had done what I thought I needed in to put things right with my wife and family. Silver Girl and I had promised each other to have a Christian marriage. We went through many struggles and conflicts of conscience and sometimes I feared the worst would come upon us. I endured many painful feelings and many struggles in conscience being accused in conscience of many things and felt I had wronged my children, as they too had gone through all kinds of hurt. All of which I regret having put them through it all. I wanted to be at peace with and all those that I had involved.

    Silver Girl experienced much insecurity as she felt I would be returning to my wife at any moment. She began to reason we had both used her in order to repair our marriage and that I would return to my wife and then she would now suffer loss. It was this insecurity that made her fell the need to separate from me in order to avoid getting hurt. This of course bread insecurity in me, as I could not bare the thought of her leaving me.

    Having re-looked at marriage and what the bible has to say about it I came to believe that my marriage to Silver Girl took place the moment we had exchanged or promises to each other, which had taken place in September, 1996. I say this because there are no instructions, or examples in the bible, as to how a marriage actually takes place. So I concluded this must be culturally defined and not dictated by God. I also learned that a legal marriage can be and may well be a very real help to couples feeling insecure. I now think that marriage, as is commonly known in our culture, is a reasonable practice. I wanted to be legally married to my partner as soon as I was legally divorced in August 1996, but this was delayed. However this was not to be and would come later.

    The place of our marriage

    Rebekah's Field is the place where Silver Girl and I exchanged our promises of marriage. A time and place, which was far more romantic than the Registry Office, and as far as I was concerned was the time and place of our marriage. It was in September 1996 and was beside the horse trough in Rebekah's Field, Stubbington.


    I was so delighted about the event that I wrote a song about the situation and this is called “Rebekah's Field”. This song was sung

    at Oliver's Bar, in Gosport, when our band entered a Beat the Band competition on 5th

    May in 2000 as I will relate later on.

    The Horse Trough in Rebekah's Field

    As I look back on this event I believe I must have been on a manic high as I also sung my other song, “Can your Remember”, at the same event.

    A Wedding reception at Asda

    I began to feel much happier at the prospect of us living together as man and wife and we both wanted a simple and legal ceremony, at the Fareham Registry Office. How ever upon reflection I realize my mood was rising and I was high as we were preparing for a simple wedding and I took Silver Girl’s off the cuff comment about having wedding reception in Asda quite literally and arranged it with the management at Asda, in Fareham. I simply asked if we could have our wedding reception in their store and the management were very obliging. Once the local news got hold of our plans they were very interested in the story and before we knew it local and national newspapers published the story. This was all too much for Silver Girl and she pulled out of the wedding. However this didn't stop the story going to the press. Here is the story:

    FAREHAM / Pressure too much for bride-to-be (THE NEWS, Friday, November 22, 1996)

    Asda reception couple put their wedding on ice


    A Fareham couple due to celebrate their marriage with a reception in a supermarket have postponed their wedding.

    David Clarke and Silver Girl were due to tie the knot at Fareham Register Office this afternoon.

    The ceremony was to be followed with a reception in the self-service cafeteria at Asda in Fareham

    More then 20 guests were expected for a £2.50 -a-head meal of roast chicken, lasagne and hot pot.

    Yesterday Dave 47, contacted The News to say that is was not going ahead. "I regret to say the pressure has been too much", he said. "Silver Girl has called off the wedding.”

    It is too much for her to cope with. I am very upset.

    Dave an engineering lecturer at Fareham College did not elaborate on his girlfriend's reason for cancelling the wedding.

    Silver Girl who is expecting the couple's first child is a psychiatric nurse.

    Both were getting married for the second time. Dave, of Hayling Close Fareham has four children from his first marriage, and his new wife lives in Stubbington and has two children.

    Yesterday Dave said: "We want a nice wedding but without frills, which cost a lot of money. "But we hope the wedding will go ahead at a later date.

    Continuing in their unconventional style he added: " I don't think my wife will be disappointed if I don't give her a wedding ring but I'm not sure how she will react to the ball and chain that I have made.


    Dave’s Ball and Chain

    He said he has not ruled out the possibility of a honeymoon in a tent he lives in this summer in the garden of his home.

  8. I buy number 11 Hayling Close

    With my future so uncertain I decided to buy a house of my own and had hoped it would become our marital home, if ever we finally go it together. This proved to be a good move, as I needed a retreat whenever Nurse Ratchet and I had a disagreement. Never the less I tried ever so hard to work on our relationship.

    The Fareham Registry Office

    We had always planned to get legally married as soon as I was free. However until that time I felt it a good thing to buy a house so that we could start our married life in a new home. I was able to complete the purchase of number 11 Hayling Close in January 1997 and move in straight away. By this time we had arranged our legal marriage at the Registry Office, which took place on 21st February 1997, with a reception at the Oast and Squire. On this occasion I had to rearrange my teaching schedule that Friday afternoon for many of my students attended and after this we had our honeymoon in Bournemouth.

    I know I was definitely on a manic high on that day as I took with me, in my chauffer driven car, a manikin dummy dressed, in Silver Girl’s cloths, this was just in case Silver Girl did not turn up so I would then marry the dummy instead. I must have been on a high, I am sure I was. After our honeymoon were returned to my wife’s home in Stubbington and entered the next phase of our life together.

    I build an extra room above the garage

    We never did move into our house at 11 Hayling Close but rather made our family home in the house belonging to my wife. We then lived together for the first time along with Silver Girls children.

    I decided to build a workshop in the garage and an extra room in the roof space of the garage, which we called The Den. It had a purpose built stair way, leading from the garage, up to the room and a small door leading through the wall into the boys bedroom, with a lock and key for private access. I then fitted a velux window giving plenty of light to the room. It was great and my wife’s son and his friends loved it, as they often had sleepovers there.

    I also made the garage my workshop were I could repair the items I had bought from Harrods. It was a good workshop.

    My Father Dies

    After my mothers death in 1996 my father lived alone, in their home at Eastbourne, until 3rd March 1997, when he died of the same problem as our mum, Pulmonary embolism and Deep vein thrombosis of the leg. My brother Michael and I along with my sister were left money in their will and I was then able to write and inform Michael, who was in New Bilibid Prison of this. Although it was very sad for us all it was a real

    help to Michael, as he could not go about clearing his name and getting released from prison, in the Philippines. It is money that it needed, particularly if you are a foreigner and in jail.

    An insecure marriage

    During this time I had been subjected to divorce from my first wife, which involved a long legal battle regarding money. This was unusual because we had been divorced in August 1996 and my father had died in May 1997. For some reason the financial settlement had not take place at the time of our divorce and subsequently settled in court, after my fathers death. Prior to this I had the news of my brothers 16-year prison sentence in the Philippines in October 1996. And it seamed as though one bad thing followed another. I also saw the devastating effects of my marriage break up upon my children, which I could not share with Silver Girl, as this would only serve to increase her insecurity. I could see their needs and knew that I had been responsible for the hurt that I had plunged them into. I felt totally insecure and felt Silver Girl would leave me or tell me to go. The Insecurity that we both felt was great and marriage do not bring the security I needed and thought it would. It was a real problem and without speaking about things too personal I had to seek God, more, and more, and more, as life went on. I needed help from God because I was not managing or coping well at all with my daily life. The stress that I found myself experiencing was unbearable and I eventually sought personnel counselling from “Off the Record”, at Fareham College.

    Financial settlement and divorce won't help

    During this time we spoke to Nurse Ratchet’s solicitor because she was anxious about my former wife's financial legal claim on her assets. She was distressed saying she did not want her getting her hands on her mothers money; money that had been left her, when she was married to her previous husband, by her mother. That money was used to increase the value of their home and she wanted her children to benefit and not my former wife. We were led to believe she might have some valid claim because we were now married and joint incomes were taken into account in financial settlements. She said she would do anything to stop her getting her hands on her mother’s money.

    Taking Silver Girl’s words and meaning literally, I asked the solicitor a hypothetical question saying, “How would we stand if we were divorced”? To which I was informed of the impractical nature and legality of such a plan. This how ever was the cause of our next series of arguments and Nurse Ratchet reported this incident to one of the elders of our church saying that I had proposed a divorce, leaving her devastated. Of course this was nonsense and there was no way that I could reassure her otherwise. She maintained I was proposing a divorce, causing her to feel so insecure with me.

    I was a murderer

    At one time she awoke in the early hours of the morning with the notion that I was a murderer and had killed a prostitute at Port Solent. She had concluded this because

    she had noticed, a few weeks earlier, that my attention had been drawn to the headline news on the TV, about the murder of a prostitute at Port Solent. She concluded that the reason why I took notice of this news item was because I was the murderer. It was crazy, I could not reason with her, even after explaining that the reason why it took notice of the news was because the incident had taken place so near our home. It was shocking. As a result of this crazy dream she wanted a divorce and went to see the minister of the church at the Locks Heath to discuss divorce.

    The spare rib

    Another incident took place involving my comment about the delectability of a spare rib. This argument was number 365. One evening I was eating out with Silver Girl and her brother and his girl friend at “Chiquito's” in Port Solent. During the meal I simple expressed my pleasure and how tasty the spare rib was, stating that I felt it was intoxicating. This phrase “Intoxicating” generated a chilled silent mood in Nurse Ratchet, which was felt by all and a dark cold cloud descend upon us all at the meal. Not a word was spoken, for the rest of the meal, and Nurse Ratchet’s brother asked, “was there a private issue going on between us?”

    I was not told about the reason of this chilled silence until later on that evening. It was then I learned that Nurse Ratchet had believed, understood and stated, that I was rubbing something in to make her feel bad. I had no idea what she was talking about, however it turned out that I had used this word, “intoxicating”, a few months earlier during a conversation with a friend of hers. On that occasion I was asked to express how I felt about an experience I had with another woman some years ago. I simply said that it was, “intoxicating”. Nothing more was said.

    Nurse Ratchet however picked up on this word and stated that at the meal table in Chiquito's I was taunting her by saying the spare rib was intoxicating. She insisted I was deliberately saying this word to upset her and make her feel bad. This of course was nonsense but there was no way that I could convince her otherwise. Such a thing would not have entered my mind to do.

    Rebekah is born

    My wife gave birth to our lovely little girl on the 8 June 1997, at Queen Mary's Hospital in Portsmouth. She had very dark hair and blue eyes when she was born. And as she grew up I got her to help me. Even to repair items that I had bought from Harrods.

    image image


    Rebekah helps her daddy Rebekah and her daddy

    Rebekah and her daddy helping him in the workshop at our house in Stubbington.

    My workshop was set up to repair the many items I bought from Harrods and by this time Harrods had moved from Abshott to Segensworth. It was there that many of my students did there shopping. In fact one of my students, Lenny Butler, actually worked at Harrods and he was a very intelligent student. We laughed at some of his ideas about repairing electrical goods; for example instead of replacing a fuse, in a piece of electrical goods, with the correct size and rating, he would insert a nail or wrap silver paper around the broken one and more often that not it would work. That was Lenny for you.

    Our first Holiday away in France

    This was a disaster as far as I was concerned. Rebekah was a few months old, Nurse Ratchet's had friends in France and we were able to stay there. We took her son and his friend in a Mitsubishi Space Wagon that I had renovated. I don't know

    what the trouble was but Nurse Ratchet went into none of her cold chilled none communicative moods and I notice she pick holes in all that I did.


    How ever the insecurity we both found our new marriage was real problem that we both felt and without speaking about things personal I had to seek God more and more as life went on. I needed the help of God because I was not managing or coping very well at all. The problems involved the relationship between the children of our former marriages and my new wife, the proverbial stepmother. After we had been arguing for several days and as a result expressed my beliefs about the relationship between men and women. I shared my concluding observations with Nurse Ratchet saying I now believed that any relationship between a man and woman could not work in harmony, without the help of God.

    My belief Sends Silver Girl around the bend

    This observation of concluding belief of mine sent my wife around the bend, and she was very upset with me. She wanted to know what would I do if I ever turned away from God again and we were having difficulties- would I remain married to her? She had totally missed the point as to what I meant.

    I had come to the conclusion that we both needed to apply Christian principles in our marriage, to resolve the many personal difficulties that we were facing, and the many personal arguments we were involved in, so we could survive. In other words the scripture outlined general rule and guidelines on how to relate to each other a way that enabled the Lion to lay down with the lamb, so to speak, and the lamb not get devoured by the lion. Hence taking heed to the word of God was having God in ones life. I felt we both needed such help. Unfortunately she just could not see my argument and she felt threatened by it. I could not assure her otherwise.

    I believed that if we had both been resolved to seek the Lord and be directed by His word in every thing then we would be blessed with a God honouring marriage, in other words a harmonious loving, happy family life. Any thing less than this would be a failure and second best.

    I questioned Nurse Ratchet as to why she was upset but she would not explain this to me. She later wrote to me but lost the reply and so she wrote again to explain her upset. Her reply is entitled “Marriage” and included in this article.

    No way forward without the help of God

    I had stated to Nurse Ratchet that the bible contained instructions as to how we should love each other and go about resolving difficulties i.e. 1 Cor. 13 verses 1-13. I stated that all of these God given, inclinations and abilities, to live at piece one with

    another, are given to those seeking God. That we should pray to the Lord to grant us supplies of these special abilities. That we are called upon to exercise these gifts in our times of difficulty this is the help of God without, which there will be no harmony.

    I maintained, “God has spoken to us”. I maintained that unless we take heed to these directives and exercise these graces such as patience, long suffering, forgiveness in our marriage, then the relationship is doomed to failure. In our case we need God’s help and we should not to ignore it.

    Nurse Ratchet objected to this (she being a trained adult mental health nurse) by saying there were many none Christian marriages that have good relationships without God. So I was wrong! Again she missed the point.

    I went on to explain that I believed that many people exercise love; patience etc. with one another because they have learned that is the best way forward. It is in fact the way, which God approves of and directs. They have learned it from their past experience, traditional up bringing, or what ever, but in the end they are only doing those things that God has so freely spoken about in the scripture. That is why their marriages work. You might say a pound spent in Manchester and a pound spent in London was equally valid and it did not matter if was spent by an atheist, Muslim or Christian. The pound spent was good currency because it was the currency of the realm.

    I stated since God has made man in his own image he may use the natural gifts of love, patience, forgiveness and long suffering, as these work, and so their that is why they have successful marriages without realizing that they have been helped by God.

    I was saying that we needed the help of God in our relationship and marriage in order to survive. Just like these people. They may be unbelievers and deny the existence of God but they posses and display those natural gifts of wisdom, which God had given them. That was what we needed. I believed however the we needed to learn directly for the bible and exercise the directives given to us plainly in His Word because to that day our marriage was not working. I believed we were doomed to failure because we hadn't learnt these natural laws. I felt this was the same with every thing connected to the Christian religion. This is the same with every thing. In Churches who seek to go contrary to the Word of God and promote thing opposed to the plain teaching of Scripture they are doomed to failure. Just like appointing women elders or homosexual bishops.

    I also mean that the moment the marriage relationship ceases to reflect the image of Christ loving His Church and the Churches submission to Christ it is a failure and not functioning as the designed purpose of God. When this happens, as was happening to us we both suffer loss. Distress of mind and soul and feel all the in-securities that it exposes one too.

    What I have said before about me not leaving is true. I will never leave you. If you kick me out and insist I go; then that is different. But I would not leave because I have promised you and I keep my word; that is the image of God in me.

    What may happen to others depends upon their own view and way of acting. I have promised never to leave you on any grounds, misery, despair or any reason. What more can you require?

    I would not leave you and go off with another women, because of what we have together if our marriage fails. This is because I believe a failing marriage can be restored if we follow Christ


    I would like to know that this is your vowed intent too i.e. not to leave or divorce me because of your promise or covenant of marriage.

    David Clarke 2nd December 1997.

    Do not let the sun go down on your wrath- in other words sort out the problem with the other person before you sleep that night.

    Love one another-consider the other person before you say or do anything. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

    Wives reverence your husbands. Children obey your parents in the Lord. Etc.

  9. Our first Separation

    This took place early 1998 and was due to unresolved problems that were all due to “the baggage” we both had carried from our former marriages.

    We had had the problem of me being a murderer, the spare rib, the hypothetical divorce and my first girl friend when I was 16. The problems were generally relating to the children of our previous marriage, past relationships or our misunderstandings, fears, miss trust. My fears were those of being deserted by Silver Girl.

    Our arguments generally produced a knee jerk reaction resulting in Nurse Ratchet insisting I leave her, or me walking out in total frustration. It wasn't long before I was compelled to leave by Nurse Ratchet and I returned to live at number 11 Hayling Close.

    At that time in April 1998, Nurse Ratchet wrote a letter to me stating certain things that were hurtful, unnecessary and derogatory comments about my eldest son Isaac. Isaac, unfortunately for him, discovered this letter, in my kitchen at Hayling Close and read these things about him. He felt very angry with Nurse Ratchet and he decided he did not wish to see her again. He then informed his brother David. They both believed she was the cause of all their mothers hurt and the family breakdown and their pain. They always maintained that Nurse Ratchet had never express sorrow or given an apology to them, or their mother, for the hurt she had been responsible for. This was the source of the animosity between all my children and Nurse Ratchet and as a result it was not helpful and only led to more resentfulness between my wife and children, in particular David.

    Off the Record Counseling

    Due to my utter despair feeling down and unable to cope with the situation I was in, I sought the help of the Hampshire, “Off the Record”, counselling service, offered at my college. This lasted for a whole two years of regular, once a week sessions. I learned that I had become the victim in our relationship and I was unable to express how I felt about a problem. I was able to say what I thought about a situation but not how I felt.

    I learned also that I was not responsible for another persons feelings either. So I began to practice saying how I felt about uneasy situations, rather then say what I thought. This meant if I expressed how I felt about something no body could argue or deny my feelings. If however I said what I thought about something, then my thoughts could be argued about.

    So in an argument and some one were to retort to me some thing like this, “ You are an evil bastard and you make me feel sick,” It would not help if I were to respond like this,” I think you are nasty piece of work” and you deserve what's coming to you. This would not be a helpful way of response and would prolong an argument.

    Had I said, ”I fell hurt and angry when you call me an evil bastard and I hear what you say about feeling sick”, However lets talk about the problem and see why you are angry” then may be you will feel better and we could try and resolve the matter.

    I then began to realised I was not responsible for feelings and she needed to take responsibility for how she felt. I could not make her feel anything. For instance if she were to say to me, “You make me feel sick” then she was really saying she felt sick which may have been as a result of some thing I said, did or inferred, How she felt was her problem and she was to take responsibility for her feelings, not me. I was not to blame for how she felt. It may be that what I said or what I did resulted in her feeling certain things, in which case the matter could be looked at and any bad feelings could be examined and alleviated or redressed. But I was not responsible for her feelings; she should take responsibility for them her self.

    I learned about the trinity of roles in our harmful marriage relationship. The Persecutor, the Victim and the Rescuer. The outstanding emotion in the Persecutor was anger and was Nurse Ratchet. The outstanding emotion in the Victim was hurt, rejection and loss. I felt I was the Victim in our relationship. In the role of Rescuer the outstanding emotion was sympathy and love. And so it could be seen in my life that because of my experience of rejection and hurt I took on the role of Rescue, seeking to help the homeless and disadvantaged and finally got into trouble at Fareham college when I stepped in to ensure one of my students passed their practical exams, after he had made a simple mistake. I will tell you later.

    It was at this time I felt the name Nurse Ratchet was more appropriate to call my wife because of the way she needed to control me, our marriage and my children.

    We tried to resolve our problems but all to no avail. Nurse Ratchet appeared to experience so much insecurity that it leads her to believe unusual things about me.

    Argument 368 Kneeing in the Testicles

    This is just one series of incidents that I numbered argument 368. I had actually lost count of the number we actually had but it seemed we had one for each day of the year. This was argument 368 the third one in the second year of our marriage. In this dispute Nurse Ratchet was furious with me and kneed me in the testicles and refused to go to church with me, that evening. She wanted to discuss something that she was upsetting her, just as we were about to leave for the church. I had arranged to take to church that evening Isaac my son, Luke Fuller, Isaac’s friend, Joe Neve, a drug dealer and addict, and Eleanor my daughter as this was an evangelical meeting. She wanted me to cancel what I was doing and insisted that I stay with her and sort out the problem she had.

    This argument was brewing. She was not prepared to wait. I wanted to wait till a later time and if possible have a friend present to discuss the matter, in a safe environment. I had good reason to avoid this type of argument because of what I had experienced before. On a previous occasion Silver Girl and I were with out, with our new daughter, on a trip to Salisbury. Nurse Ratchet was upset over something that I

    had either said or had done. She insisted that I had never got over a relationship with a girl friend some 30 years ago (my first girlfriend, Susan Alwright, from Aylesbury). On this occasion she got out of the car extremely upset carrying our daughter in her arms and proceeded to walk home. Of course that was unsafe for her and our daughter.

    So I had reason to fear such talk would lead to inappropriate action on Nurse Ratchet part. I also felt responsible for my children’s welfare and important to take my children and their friends to hear the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. I had the opportunity that I rarely had and they were prepared to come to the church that night. I had been helped at the church and to tell all my family of what the Lord had done for me. Nurse Ratchet felt otherwise and rather than be dictated too by my wife I refused to obey her voice and do what I believed was the right thing to do.

    On this occasion she kneed me in the testicles and wanted me to leave Stubbington, and live elsewhere, and me to leave our home in otherwise she would find somewhere else to live and take Rebekah and her children with her.

    This also lead to Nurse Ratchet's daughter ordering me out of the house and because I ignored her she left instead of me and told her in-laws to be that she had been kicked out.

    All such arguments were very unpleasant and hurtful occasions. All of them brought on by an argument of similar nature and complexity as the one I felt was being prepared for me at that moment. It was Nurse Ratchet's determination and insistence that we talk about the issue right without considering me that I felt was an abuse. I felt abused. It was my intention to steer away from such disastrous discussions unless we had some Christian help at hand so we could avoid further hurt and needless pain.

    Just say I love you Try a different way 1997 – 98

    The argument we were having often involved my children from my first marriage. On one particular evening an argument was looming and at the prayer meeting that night, at the Warsash church, I requested prayer and support. It was suggested to me I try another way. Rather than respond and argue over matters simply say " I love you" and to repeat it every time she wanted to argue. I was to say no more. I took this on board and agreed to give it a try. I returned home and as the contention began in the bedroom. I simply said, "I love you" and repeated this without saying any more. My wife was convinced I had gone mad and wanted me to say more. She then called her daughter in from her bedroom to witness my response. I simply repeated, "I love you".

    If I were you I would hit him

    My wife was furious and her daughter said to her mum, “If I were you I would hit him”, I began to have real fear that a more serious argument might occur and then some form of violence would take place and I wanted to leave the house until she had calmed down. So as she left the room I quickly took my clothes and slipped out of the bedroom, into the little room, that I had made above the garage and locked the door behind me. I heard a commotion at the other side of the door, between my wife and her daughter, as they were wondering where I had gone. So I just lay down on the floor and kept very quiet. I just wanted to be left alone. I was hoping things would calm down and the heat would go away but my wife did not give up. Eventually she made a search for me by going into the garage and climbed up the staircase that I had made in the garage, to the roof space where I was. She found me lying down with my eyes shut, as though I was sound asleep. She opened the door to the inside of the house and called her daughter to say she had found me and pointed out that I looked unconscious.

    I dare not open my eyes

    I felt I did not wish to show I was awake in case she was more furious with me so I kept quiet. My wife felt by body and I was cold so she switched on an electric fire and place it near my legs to warm me up but it was so hot I began to burn. How ever but had to keep still and feel the pain. I still kept quiet. I then heard my wife' s daughter say how selfish I was, thinking I had attempted suicide, and was not thinking of my daughter. I then heard Nurse Ratchet call my former wife on the phone asking had I done any thing like this before. She then called the doctor, it was late at night and things were getting worse for me. I dare not wake as trouble was now really brewing for me. I just lay there until the doctor came. When he arrived I simply open my eyes and said I was fine and that we had had an argument and I just needed to be left alone. The doctor was fine and left the room and he informed my wife to just leave me alone and that I would be fine.

    Suicidal thoughts

    Soon after this time I informed the members of our prayer group that I had experienced suicidal thoughts, all relating to the troubles in our marriage and the fear of my wife leaving me. It was at that time one of the Elders prayed with and for me after, which then I began to get better, “The black dogs of depression”, left me for a while.

    I had learned to respect medical opinion and it was now my opinion to maintain my stability by continuing with my medication, which is the prescribe treatment for manic depression or bi-polar moods swings. It was a bit like Oliver Cromwell's advise to his army, when they were going into battle he said, “ Trust in God and keep your powder dry”. And so with me call upon the Lord and keep on with the lithium. The ups and downs of our new relationship brought with it the highs and lows of emotion. Van Gough once said that emotions were the captains of our lives. I was certainly driven by powerful emotions at this time. I was responsible, during all this time to have my blood levels checked and to take my medication. This I did as

    regular as clockwork and kept in touch with Dr Walmsely, even when I was signed off as needing care. This was because I was aware of my reality and fear of depression.

    Nurse Ratchet is jealous of my song

    After this meeting I felt the desire to compose a song in praise to God, for the help I had received, and I wrote the following entitled, “Spirit of the Lord Come down” and was able to sing it at the Warsash church. This desire was an expression thanks for the support I had received from God during my recent awful times. However when Nurse Ratchet heard my song she expressed she was jealous, as it was not about her. I found this response incredible and it portrayed to me she had deep-seated insecurities. Realising this was the case and wishing to assure her she had no need to be jealous, I re-wrote the words for her benefit. This new song was called, "Can your remember". Unfortunately I was never able to sing this version of the song as we separated in November 1998, but that did not stop my plan to sing this love song to her the next year. Not only did I re write the song but also I practised it many times and sung at various venues after we separated. Finally I decided it should be recorded and be release as a single. Both of these songs can be heard on our web site: Or search for davidolores.

    Joining the Warsash Church

    At this time sometime in October 1998, a few weeks before our second and final separation, we had attending the Warsash Church for some time and Nurse Ratchet, without notice, began to attend the church in Titchfield, on her own, without informing me of the reason, so continued to attend the Warsash church. It was then that I was asked, by one of the elders, to become a church member. This however was one of the last things on my mind, so I said I would consider it.

  10. Our second and final separation

The resentment, between Nurse Ratchet and my children, led to our second and final separation. This took place on the 4th November 1998 when I left and retreated to 11 Hayling Close, dreading the future, as I felt so low in my mood.

Nurse Ratchet had repeatedly stated she wanted me to leave and if I wouldn't go she would get her ex husband to come and remove my things. I finally realized I would have to go and so I made all the necessary preparations, regarding finance and securing my personal things. I left the morning of that day, as I knew once I had gone I would have no cooperation from Nurse Ratchet to resolve anything.

On a previous occasion I had given Nurse Ratchet £4,000, this soon after my fathers death but she said she did not want it but would look after it for me until I needed it.

So I opened an ISA account in her name and deposited the money. It was during the weeks before I left on the 4th November, that I realised I would have difficulties

getting the money from her, never the less I had asked her for the money. She refused and would not give it to me. And still continually told me to leave. So I wrote to the ISA bank, in her name, informing them of our change of address i.e. to 11 Hayling Close and the following week I wrote to the company to close the account asking for the £4000 signing the letter in her name. I was thankful it was successful and I receive the cheque for £4000 plus interest. Never the less it was this action of mine that sent her around the bend with anger and was the reason for her saying I was a hypocrite.

It was with great sadness that I learned, to my dismay, that Nurse Ratchet had purposely been very difficult and awkward with me, those weeks before hand, in order to drive me out and away from our home. I learned this after reading her secret diary written in October 98. The entry reads,

"The more horrible you are to someone the more Dave is drawn to them-- he always sides with the ones being got at. So I’ll be even more horrible and he may go to his darlings. His loyalty to me is disgusting."

I realise this now that this accounted for her unacceptable behaviour towards my children and my subsequent desire to protect them from it was but a natural instinct and a Christian principle that I followed.

She continued to write, “I'm sick of hearing their names. I wish he'd just live with them at wonderful number 11”.

On Thursday 15th October, 1998 she wrote, "I'm am full of rage and feel sick and in knots. I hate all of them" --They have evil in them--they needed to be away from others.

Nurse Ratchet, the psychiatric nurse, had made up her mind about my children as can be seen by what she wrote and referred to them as the “KLU CLARKE CLAN.”


The Clu Clarke Clan

I knew there was a problem and had previously suggested we get help from the Family Mediation Service, because I knew things between us all we so caustic. Unfortunately Nurse Ratchet felt differently. She was offended that I should suggest such a thing to her as she was a trained Adult mental health nurse and so did not need any help in mediation. On the 26/10/98, her diary entry wrote, “I want to kill him.”

It was the following week that Nurse Ratchet stated to me that Eleanor and Esther were no longer Rebekah's sisters but another girl Gillian was, who baby-sat for her. At the same said she wanted Rebekah to have another father.

I discovered these things written in Nurse Ratchet's secret diary when I returned to our home, the week after I left, whilst she was at work.

I left and took all my things on the 4th November 1998.

Nurse Ratchet’s problem with me joining the church at Warsash

During the weeks leading to my escape the thought of joining the church at Warsash was one of the last things on my mind. Things at home were so difficult I could scarcely think of any other thing wishing to solve the problems in the marriage. However I wanted to be more involved in the church and I felt so rejected by Nurse Ratchet, it felt as though God was saying. " If your wife rejects you, I will receive you". With this feeling and reason I agreed to join the church and felt wanted.

Nurse Ratchet was later informed, by one of the elders, after we had separated in November, saying that I was about to become a member of the church. I learned she felt angry about it. She did not like it and was very upset for some unknown reason. She did not feel I should be allowed to join the church on the grounds of all the allegations she had written about to the Family Mediation Service. See letter dated 8/12/98. She wanted an explanation from the elders how they could admit me to be a member. She felt I was a hypocrite and that I joining the church felt like I had another woman. Nurse Ratchet told one of the elders of the church how she felt about me joining the church in front of his daughter Gillian, who later related this to my youngest son David. In response to this he felt very angry with Nurse Ratchet and he informed me that she had been saying bad things about me and that I had another woman. He felt that these evil things were the cause of her son being upset and awkward with him.

When David informed me what Nurse Ratchet had been saying about me I decided I would have to ask Nurse Ratchet and her son about it the next time I saw her. When I spoke to the Nurse about it I discovered this was not true and that all she had said was that it felt like I had another woman when she learned I was to join the church.

Nurse Ratchet then demanded David make her and her son an apology, face to face, and she wanted me not to see him again until he apologize to her and her son for repeating these things. I saw David and told him I wanted him to apologies to Nurse Ratchet he said he could not face the agony of seeing Nurse Ratchet face to face and agreed to send a letter of apology

Nurse Ratchet upset with the church

The nurse was angry at the church for considering making me a member as she felt I was not worthy. She wanted to ask the Elders all about it, however she said she could not face going to see them. I received a letter from the Nurse stating that she did not want me to join the church and that if I did she would take it that I did not want reconciliation. She said it showed to her that I wanted a permanent separation. I felt so frustrated as this was not true and I felt this was black mail that I was not prepared to give in to this form of control. At that time I asked the Nurse for my unpublished book, written about my time at the Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist church but She refused to give it back to me and I felt very much alone. I later published this book in 2003 and it is called the, “The Bierton Crisis”.

The Elders felt she was wrong and it would do no good to speak to her.

I decide to join the church

Having decided not to give into this blackmail I wrote the following letter to Nurse Ratchet on 10/12/98

Dear SG

I have spoken at the meeting tonight explaining your request to speak to the elders at the church and who ever, about their decision to accept me as a member of the church.

I explained how you felt very upset and angry since I had done awful things to you (what ever they were). I mentioned in particular your forged name explaining of course I knew you were angry about and that I had said other things to you, which may of hurt you in our arguments. I also informed them that I had apologized to you and asked you if I could put any matter right.

I explained you felt me joining the church was like me having another woman that they were not helping us get back together but doing the opposite.

I explained to them what Elder RB had said and his advise to you about Warsash and also what your minister had said about Warsash church, stating they were wrong etc. That both RB and the minister were in agreement with you, I should not be allowed to join the church because of what I had done.

I did the best I could but they felt you were wrong. They said you were welcome at Warsash Church any time and they love you. Will said you had been invited to be a member but you did not respond. He said he had often asked you to see him to help with the kids and me but you would not.

John and Sue C were there and Sue seemed to understand you and I am sure she would help if you went to see her.

I had hoped they would have offered to sit with you at a meeting with who ever you wanted to be there, in order to answer your questions, but they did not feel it would help at all. They assured me you are very welcome at Warsash church and that Brian had been in contact with you.

I explained how you said if I join you will take it I want separation. They encouraged me to continue seeking the lord and honour Him. All of which I said I would be doing anyway. Since writing to you about the Derek situation I now realize Abraham would have never offered up Isaac as a sacrifice if he had allowed his wife to stop him from obeying God. We do not know if Abraham told Sarah about his intention to offer up Isaac in sacrifice but we do know in other things she obeyed Abraham and was a

help to him and not an obstacle. You know I believe God and He has given you to me. It is right and fitting for me to obey God and you me.

I have to admit I now find your warning threat hurtful and I take it very seriously. That is warning about me joining the Warsash Church. I have explained to you that my wishing to join the church did not mean I wanted separation from you at all but I simple wanted to follow Jesus, in every way I could. I have never wanted separation from you; it has been you all along wishing separation - not me.

In fact it would be my hearts desire we both be members at Warsash. So why not think about it. Why have you left Warsash anyway? I will step aside for a while if you want to go.

I now realize if you are telling me you will still take it I want a separation if I join the Warsash Church, in spite of me telling you otherwise, and then you are threatening me. I take it you will forsake me if I join the Warsash Church.

I take it you are threatening me for being a Christian. I believe my Jesus whom I depend on will never forsake me and has spoken to me from His word about this very situation and this is what he says:

Matthew 19 verse 29 Every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands for my name's sake shall receive an hundred fold and shall inherit everlasting life.

I love you more than you have ever felt or known and I believe you were given me by God as my hearts desire. I am sorry for all the wrong and hurt I have caused you please forgive me.

You now tell me you will want permanent separation if I follow Jesus in the way he wants me to go. I want to follow Jesus. You have told me I stand to loose you if I follow Him.

You have already said I cannot take Rebekah if I join the Church on Sunday, even though I really want you and her with me. I am sorry this is your attitude and intention but I now know what I must do.

If the Lord will I will be joining the Church at Warsash on Sunday 13th December 1998. I assume you will stick to your word but please ring me and say I can take her. I will talk with your minister friend, R B, D.C. and V F, any one if you think I need help or if you want me too. I am free Friday and Saturday.

I love you, please do not forsake me. We have a lot to look forward too in the Lord. Love David.

I decide against joining the church

After careful consideration I decide not to join the church thinking this would help so I explained my situation to B T and his wife and B and I and they said they would speak with us both and help. I wrote the following to Silver Girl.

Dear Silver Girl, 20/12/98

I realize you may not be aware but I did not joint the church at Warsash last Sunday. I was hoping my decision not to join would help our reconciliation as you expressed you were not happy about it. I also took the liberty to ask B and I and B T and his wife to help us by talking through things with us. They all said they would be pleased to help.

I have a Christmas present for Rebekah and would really like it to be to her from us both - how do you feel about that? Is there any way I could see you for a short while during Christmas as I miss you so very much (If you haven't given up on us).

Yours in love David.


I would encourage my readers, who are considering marriage, and wish to know what the bible says about men and women relationships, to read and understand my article on Christian marriage.

Women Elders and the Church at Warsash

My times and difficulties in dealing with my wife was enough to put me on guard against the rise of women in our present age. Can you imagine how I felt when the following episode took place at the Warsash Church?

It was the beginning of the New Year; January of 1999, after some of the elders and members of the church had left to form a new group meeting, at the Hilton Hotel in Farlington. It was then announced that the elders of Warsash Church were asking for nominations to elect further elders and that these positions were open for women to apply. This took me by surprise. I understood the church was wishing to follow the New Testament pattern of church order and practice. After all they since called themselves the “Jesus is Lord” church and from my understanding this was going against His principles.

I recalled that they had asked me to join the church recently because they wanted to increase the membership and make a stand in the United Reformed denomination against two issue causing dispute at that time. The two issues were the appointing of homosexuals to leadership and the appointment of women elders.

When I raised my concern with the elders I was met with opposition and despite my documented evidence, pointing out scriptural reasons, showing their error I was finally told to remain silent whilst I continued going to the church. This was my cue to leave the church as conscience dictated a better path to take. It was then I wrote about this matter in my book entitled, “Mary, Mary Quite Contrary”, which is my response and opinion regarding the matter of women being elected to the position of elders in a church. The essence of the matter from a Christian point of view is this:

  1. Since the fall of Adam God curses them both along with the serpent and the ground. Adam would suffer hardship, that thorns and thistles would grow, and so earn he would have to earn living by the sweat of his brow until the day he dies. To the woman he said that she would be in great pain in childbirth and her natural desire would be to rule her husband but he would rule over her.

  2. In Christian marriage the man is the head of his wife, in the way that Christ is the head of his church. As the church is to be subject to Christ so the woman is to be subject to her husband.

  3. This order has to do with the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and since God placed this curse on His creation after the fall, then that order remains to this day.

  4. We should follow the order, set by Christ, for all relationships between men, wife, children etc. and not think we know better.

This order of relationships still continues to this present day, as demonstrated by the fact that the curse, placed by God on his creation, still remains. Therefore so should the order between men, women, children, church and elders remain in the church?

I leave the church at Warsash

Needless to say I left the church and began meeting with our new group at the Hilton hotel in Farlington.

Problems and difficulties in seeing my daughter

Since our separation, in November 1998, I had serious problems in seeing our 18- month-old daughter as the nurse prevented my every move. Nurse Ratchet would not allow our daughter to see her brothers and sisters, the children of my first marriage. And it was David in particular she would not speak too, all because she had expressed how she felt to those at the Warsash church, when she heard I was to join the church.

In trying to resolve this matter I helped my son to write a letter of apology to the nurse so to resolve those outstanding issues.

My sons Letter of apology to nurse Ratchet

Dear, 23/02/99

It has been a long time since I have seen my dad, as he was angry with me for sayings things about you and S. I have written to him to apologies. He said I have to see you face to face. I am sorry I find that too difficult. Please accept my written apology.

I was hurt because I thought you had been saying things about my dad and it hurt me. I was trying to protect my Dad and it seemed as though you were trying to stop me from seeing him.

I am sorry I got it wrong and said those things I know it upset my dad and you. Yours sincerely

DC Junior

Nurse Ratchet will not come and speak to my youngest son

After I had given this letter to the nurse I wrote to her inviting her to speak to David about the situation, with a view to resolve this outstanding issue and she wrote the following letter back to me:

Dear David 22nd July 1999

Thank you for your letter.

No, I do not have a need to see your son thank you. I feel so much better since not having to see them all! (Not E)

As I have said before if it had been my son spreading vicious rumours and lies around about his dad’s new wife then his dad would have got him by the scruff of the neck and marched him around to them to apologize. That is what I think is correct discipline.

You will never do any differently than wrapping David up in "cotton wool" and treating him as a baby so that is that. Your promise of not seeing David until he apologized to me was empty and he knows just how to get to you. Suicide, threats, etc.

So a man leading him in the correct way should have sorted out the grievance. (He wouldn't last 5 minutes with me!) You and I have different ideas about discipline. He should be brought to me, not the other way around. I find him spoilt, manipulative, nasty and spiteful and that needs correcting.

I have never wanted to speak to David but you should have made him apologize. I realize now you are not able to act like that now. I think how ever it very cunning and devious of you to make me believe David had not read my letter. You wrote to me saying you would try and persuade him but never informed me he had. I see more and more why he is as he is. You’re modelling!

I have no need to speak to you about any thing now and agree with you I don't want us arguing. Let's look to the future the past is dead and gone. Time to move on. I will only react if I think David is seeing our daughter otherwise I wish you luck with him!

It was lovely that S rang today away on holiday wanting to talk to her as he is missing her! That's what I call love.

I hope all goes well for you on Sunday night, Take care

Yours in love

N. Ratchet

PS. If you have needs to talk about your children I have offered before to talk to Peter Jacob or any one you like if you want. I don't have a need myself. I am happy as it is.

P.P.S. Am I allowed my TV back you gave me for Xmas and do you have a matters for B 's bed?

This is not Christian behaviour but the opposite

This is the response of nurse Ratchet and demonstrates that she did not follow the Christian method of resolving offences. The fact that she thought it was my responsibility to “drag David” around to see her and then make him apologise goes directly opposite to the bible's instruction. The bible says if any one is offended then they should go to the person who offended them and sort the matter out with them. Not the other way round. Mat 18:15-17 "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” At the same time remembering that, as the Lord has forgiven us, then we too should be ready to forgive those who have offended us. Just as the Lords prayer gives example- “Forgive us our trespasses even as we forgive those who trespass against us”.

From a natural point of view she was a woman of 40 years old professing to be a Christian. David was only 15 years old who had no profession of Christian faith and had suffered the lost of his father through her adultery. He had very reasonable reasons to feel angry. It was the Ratchet who spoke about her feelings, in front of Gillian, who baby-sat for our daughter. She was another 15-year-old child. The nurse should not have been speaking about those things in the hearing of a 15-year-old child, as it was Gillian who repeated the matter to David giving rise to the fault.

The scriptures are very clear and they are our instructions and we should follow their instruction about other relationships, including marriage. If we fail to take heed to scripture exhortations we should not be surprised when things turn out wrong or fail. This was the argument that sent Nurse Ratchet around the bend when I state that without God in our lives our marriage would fail.

When I received Nurse Ratchet's reply I groaned silently and I was reminded of the story, which Jesus told regarding the unforgiving servant: Remembering this we had trusted god to forgive our sin of adultery and accepted that forgiveness and as a consequence we were bound, by the law of love and gratitude to forgive those who trespass against us.

Matt 18:23-35 Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants. When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down and kneeled before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’ The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.


"But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’ He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told to their lord all that was done.

Then his lord called him in, and said to him, ‘you wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me. Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’ His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him. So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds."

I am not sure if the tormentors came but I believed God would do it.

26 How my life was effected

Whilst going through all these difficulties and emotional trials I am sure, as I look back, that I subconsciously created manic highs in order to avoid depression. This is my theory. Any way I did my utmost to be good at my job and also find another outlet to express my emotions.

In my endeavours to do my best for all my students I got my self into trouble at Fareham College, towards the end of the summer term. At that time of the year we held a practical examination, for the Electronic Servicing 224 course and I along with an external assessor, from Portsmouth College, was responsible to conduct the practical tests for the RTEEB Examining Board and to mark their work and ensure there was no cheating. It was a recognised national standard test.

On this occasion one of my better students, who had paid for his own course fees, made a simple error in the test he was conducting. I noticed his mistake and realised that this could result in a failure. So I altered his script to read correctly. Unfortunately the external examiner noticed the change and alerted the senior management of the College. I justified this action, to myself, because I was the best person and only person to judge if this student was capable to do such practical work. He had proved himself to me over the two years I had taught him and I knew him to be good. He just simply made a mistake. Fortunately the student was unaffected as he has sufficient marks to pass regardless of my alteration but the matter was brought to a disciplinary hearing and I could have been dismissed. In mitigation I had several personal testimonials, from former students, speaking on my behalf regarding my previous good conduct and beneficial help they had all received, which resulted in me getting written warning for one year. One former student was Mike Fisher from Gosport and Michael Evans from Petersfield.

Steven Murray

During this time in May 1999, I had a mother call to my home, asking if I would provide accommodation for her stepson Steven Murray, who was 20 years old. He looked very much like my own son Isaac. I was reluctant to take him in as he was without work at that time and the only means of paying any form of rent was to apply for Housing Benefit. He assured me that he would find work very quickly so I gave him a chance and took him in.

I also felt I could help him and shared with him my past life and my Christian beliefs. I knew nothing of his past background although I sensed it had been difficult. I encouraged him to come to church with me and gave him s draft copy of my book Converted on LSD Trip.

I encouraged him to attend Fareham College and enrolled him on an electronics course, as he was very knowledgeable. I also encourage him to repair items that we had bought from Harrods and re-sell them to earn pocket money and he was very successful.

I took Steve to church with me and he showed a keen interest in Christianity and got involve with the church, helping out with the PA system. He soon expressed faith and need of God and was baptised in the Sea at Lee-on-the-Solent.

I was delighted as this was what I expected from any one who believed the gospel of Jesus Christ. This was just as it happened to me over 30 years ago.

The News Thursday, June 24, 1999

LEE-ON-THE-SOLENT / Former drug user and thief tells of his new Christian outlook

Baptism at sea marks start of my new life


By Lorna Vicars

A reformed Fareham drug user and thief was baptised in the sea to mark the start of a new life. For years Steve Murray, 21, took drugs, stole cars and burgled houses- but when he became a Christian his life changed. Steve of Hayling Close took the plunge, at the slipway at the Lee-0n-the Solent Sailing Club. About 30 friends and relatives watched as an elder, from the Church Steve attends, carried out the baptism. Steve left school six years ago at

15 and became qualified in painting and decorating and carpentry. He spent the next four years when he was not working smoking cannabis and taking ecstasy and amphetamine drugs. He said, “I was getting into trouble with the police – thieving cars and motorbikes”. “When I was not working I was rebelling. I did not know why I carried on doing it. I felt comfortable doing it in a way

Steve Murray, right, is baptised in the sea by Rev Peter Jacobs of the Christian Gospel Church

I used to hang about with people who wanted bits fro their houses and it started of with me shop-lifting and petty things. Then people needed cars, and I went on doing it myself because I wanted the stuff.

“I wanted to change but I felt there was no way out”.

Steve remembered the first time he prayed two years ago when he was told his then girlfriend Tyrone Finlayson might die giving birth to their daughter Rhiannon.

He said, “I was surprised to find myself praying and they both made it through”. “It has gone from there”.

Steve became a Christian and has been going to the Christian Gospel Church, which meets in the Hilton National Portsmouth hotel, in Farlington.

He chose to be baptised in the sea following the example of John the Baptist in the bible.

After months of being unemployed Steve is now working as a Bar Steward at the Forte Post House Hotel in Titchfield.

He said,” It is not like my life has stopped. I still go out and drink and have a good laugh – I just go to church every Sunday”.

“It is like an emptiness has been filled and it gives me something to aim for and I have got someone there. I pray and hope every thing to be all right.

“I see a happy future”.

The very next week he got a job as a barman at the Post House Forte, Segensworth and shortly after that he was able to see his own daughter for the first time in months. I gave him my wedding suit as a baptism gift as he needed a suit of cloths.

I took no notice of those people who began to give me evil reports of his past behaviour believing he was a new man in Christ. Unfortunately I became concerned at his continued heavy drinking and gambling and also his miss treatment of girls. I prayed for him and so did our church. I had another young lodger and they both generated a lot of loud noise from their music and the neighbours complained. Later my daughter’s bicycle was stolen and I had to sort things out so I gave my other lodger, called Dan, notice to leave. He soon complained to me that I had given Steve special treatment over him and he felt this was because he had been baptised.

It was soon after this, whilst Steve was helping at the church one Sunday morning, that the collection money (£400) was taken, and shortly after this my motorbike, that I had just purchased, was stolen. It was a 250 cc Honda Super Dream. It was returned however with damaged front forks, a broken lock and missing wing mirrors. It was strange that Steve had asked to ride it the day before and assured me he had a full drivers license to drive it. Steve, Dan and Steve’s friend, denied any knowledge of the bikes disappearance and it return.


Steve Murray and Dan Bullimoore. They say they did not take my Motorbike

I then got a call from Steve’s boss, at the Post House, to say he had not been to work and he now no longer had a job. It was after Steve told me he was going back on housing benefit, as he was not working sufficient hours, that I gave him notice to leave because he was now lying to me.

I received a call on the 27th July 1999, from the cheque-cashing bureau in Fareham, regarding a cheque, apparently issued to Steve Murray, which was not honoured, for

£220, so I was advised to go to the police. When reporting this to the police it turned out that Dan also had drawn £100 from my account along with a further Nationwide withdrawal of £380.

Even after this when Steve and Dan had gone I had things stolen from my house. What really got me upset was when my Fender Strata 1983, American Stratocaster, was stolen form my house along with my 8 track digital recorder. The police recovered the Guitar from Steve Murray. When I reported the story to the local News it was reported in the Paper. The only real problem resulting from this was the fact that the senior man at our church had a go at me and was not very happy. He seemed very concerned about the name of the church but showed no concern for the fact that Steve Murray had robbed me and taken advantage of me seeking to help him. I felt that since the scripture mentioned the good and bad events such as the bad conduct of Judas, then I felt it quite Ok for the world to know Steve Murray’s conduct.

Elly had a Go Kart accident and nearly losses her ear

During this time I tried to manage as best as I could and took Elly and her friends out for a ride on our Go Kart. Steve Murray had told me had had repaired the breaks and the Kart was now in good order. The trouble was the breaks failed and Elly drove a full speed down Tanners Lane but could not stop and she went straight into the ditch,

The News, Tuesday, May 25 1999 By Neil Durham

The News


Elly and the Go Kart

Rock music a cure or cause of manic highs and lows

I found that making music helped relieve my stress and fears and so I decided to record and release the song that I had written for Nurse Ratchet. I had practised this song, on my guitar, and sang it at home for weeks. And then one night, when

listening to a group called “The Shack” at Murphy's Bar, in Southampton. I asked if I could play and my song at there gig informing them that I was Dave Clarke from the 60's. The song went down very well and as a result it was agree I should perform again at the Wyvern at Lee-On-The Solent. Here is the news article about the event.

The News MUSIC / Lecturer plans to release self-penned single (19th December 1999)

Electronics’ teacher is sparking interest in pop By Richard Hargreaves

The News


Dave at the Wyvern

He almost shares the same name as a 1960's pop legend and Fareham College Lecturer hopes to follow him in to the charts.

By day the 50-year old teaches electronics but hopes that will take a back seat in 2000 as he prepares to his release single.

When the song came into his head, the guitarist decided it was too good to be forgotten about and felt it just had to be recorded.

Dave, of Hayling Close, turned a pub into a recording studio as he set down the disc “Can You Remember”, a song he believes is a sure fire hit.

After toying with the idea of sending the song to Paul McCartney he decided to record it himself with four friends and students from Fareham College as a 1999 Dave Clarke Five.

The Wyvern pub, at Lee-on-the-Solent, provided the setting and its regulars the audience, as Can You Remember was captured for the first time with Local Duo The Shack.

"I believe it is a good song and worth recording" said Dave. "I wrote the song for my wife." Every body I know and have been playing it too thinks it’s really good. It has gone down really well.

Dave of Hayling Close, Fareham, following The Shack around for the past couple of months, bringing an entourage with him and some times joining the band.

And his name has lead to a few people thinking he is the real Dave Clark, whose band the Dave Clark Five had hits more than 30 years ago with songs such as Bits and Pieces and Catch Us If You Can.

"Because it has been so long since his band was around you can get away with it", Dave added.

The true 1960's pop star doesn’t have an e on the end of his surname- and according to The Shack probably is a bit more tuneful.

But they were impressed by the lecturer’s charismatic stage performance whipping up the crowd.

For the lead singer Ian Hamilton Friday's recording was his first live performance of the song he, Dave and friends have practiced for weeks. "It is a very catchy song and I like to think it will be successful. Recording it is a bit of a step. Dave is always going on about Dave Clark,” he added.

To keep up the pop star image, Dave arrived at the Common Barn Lane Pub for last night’s event, in a limousine (Post script- It was a Hurst) accompanied by screaming groupies- who was students from Fareham College

Dave now hopes to tweak the master copy of the recording into something, which could be released shortly as a single, although he says the song is a one-off and not a career move.

I later sang this song in a beat the band completion at Oliver’s Bar in Gosport and the Contented Pig in Portsmouth and finally entered the song into X factor. One day I am sure it will be a hit.

I am taken to the Police Station

After this event I took Ely and her friends home. I was dressed in my Petty Officers Naval uniform. When we reached Stubbington Ely was feeling ill and wanted me tom stop and so we did only to attract the attention a police car. Sure enough I was questioned and breathalysed and as a result taken to Police station in the police vehicle in order to be checked out. When I arrived at Fareham Police Station there was Alan and others who too had been picked up on suspicion of driving offences. The Police assumed I was a naval officer and suggested I wait at the end of the queue to be tested for excessive alcohol in my blood and by the time I was checked I was Ok and allowed to go.

A Christmas card for Miss Bulled

I was alone that Christmas December 1999) but hat did not deter me and I decided to invite my children’s headmistress, Miss Bulled of Henry Cort School, to our Christmas celebration, to our church in Farlington. So to kill two birds with one stone, so to

speech, I designed a Christmas card, with pictures of all my children on the front cover and sent it to her. I simple wrote:

We wish you all a Meaningful Christmas and

A new birth for the New Year St. John 3. 5-7.

David Clarke, children and friends are inviting you to our Christmas Celebration at The Hilton International, Farlington.

image image

Granddad Grandma

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Elly, Esther, Dad, David, Isaac Rebekah and Daddy

Needless to say when my children found out I had written like this to their headmistress they were so very embarrassed and haven’t go over it to this day. Any way Miss Bullhead was rather pleased to receive the card and wrote to me to thank for the invite. So it couldn’t have been that bad.

Rupert Bear helps David form a band to help David’s dream come true

During this time of making music, my mind was very active and learning new things. I had just learned how to scan colour pictures into a computer and print in colour. I was armed with this skill and I put together a storybook using Rupert bear cartoons to illustrate and express my wish and desire to sing my song to Silver Girl on Christmas Day. I put this together and sent it along with the music CD disc to my daughter that Christmas of 2000. Go to our website to read and listen to the story.

It took me a year how ever do devise a means of getting Silver Girl to hear my song,

This is what I did

I wrote a story using Rupert Bear pictures to form a book, which tells of how Rupert Bear helped David to form a Rock Band, to sing his song. Example:

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Rupert is a lovely Bear he’s always kind and always fair

When David was a little boy he told his dream to Rupert Bear

The whole story tells how Rupert Bear got together students from David’s classes at Fareham College to form a band. The song was sung and recorded on a CD and sent to his daughter, along with the story to be read and herd on Christmas Day, December 2000 and sent to his daughter

Desperate Measures Rock band

Following this event I took interest in my student interests. They had formed a rock band called “Desperate Measures” and wanted help in promoting them selves and getting books for musical gigs. They were very happy for me to manage them and do all the promotions. I am sure that this new interest was driven as a result of a reaction to the problems I was facing in my marriage and as a result I created a series of deliberate high moods, in my fight against my depression.

I came up with an idea to create publicity for the band. One member was to live in a coffin for a week and be carried each day, to various eating-places in Fareham to be feed free meals for 7 days. They would also enter the Beat The Band Competition,

held at Oliver's Bar, in Gosport, on the 5th May 2000.

I build the coffin

It was agreed and I began to make all the necessary arrangement and entered the Band for the competition. I built the coffin at Fareham College and painted it black

and wrote on the side the advertised event. Then drove around Fareham and district with the coffin tied to the roof of my yellow Ford Fiesta.


Coffin on the roof of my Fiesta

However news of these events brought so much publicity that the member of the band (Mark Rogers) who was to sleep in the coffin had second thoughts about being involved. He “bottled out” saying he might get his Job Seekers allowance and housing Benefit stopped if he was not available for work. So the band cancelled the planned event. My response to this was to recruit others to form the band so I took the coffin to Fareham College and stood it in the main hall at the beginning of the day and stopped the first likely lad to pose in the coffin. It turned out he was a guitar player called Gavin fro Portchester He was chosen to play the lead in our new band Dave Clarke and the resurrection, from the 60’s.

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Mark Rogers he bottled out Gavin Marks replacement

Gavin our lead guitarist, in the coffin at Fareham College

I initially got permission from the Principal to put the coffin in the hall but then he had second thoughts and asked me not to do it. However it was too late the photograph had already been taken. As you can see it was as tough it was made for Gavin. I formed the band with Gavin, Morrison-Govern, Mike Fisher, Vince for Gosport and me singing.

House nearly burnt down

It was during this time that Mark Rogers, the main man in the band, and who was to sleep in the coffin for a week was working at home at number 11 Hayling Close. In was away that night whilst I was off seeing to recruit some Ceroc dancers for our music event in Gosport when I got a call to say my house was on fire. I asked Mark was every one safe and was told yes and the fire brigade and policed were there. I was told David and Elly had escaped but apart from the kitchen being burnt out it was all-OK. Here is the news article,

The News Fareham Thursday 9, 2000

Blaze may have been avoided-if batteries had been fitted to detectors



Mark Rogers in our burnt out kitchen

I realised there was nothing to gain by rushing home so stayed the rest of the evening and asked the Cerock dancers to see if they could dance to my song, “Can your Remember”, which I had recorded on a Sony mini disk player.

Coffin Stolen

During the run up to the week Esther my eldest daughter wanted to borrow my Fiesta and I agreed provided she drove it with the coffin on the roof. I am not sure, as I can't remember, if she did drive the car but the following day the coffin had been stolen so I reported the matter to the police.

The News Tuesday March 24th, May 2000


The News Article Tuesday March 21st 2000

Not to be deterred

It was some days later that the coffin was recovered and we were back in business, so to speak. Here is the News Report of it's finding.

The News Saturday April 15th 2000


The News Article Saturday April 15th 2000

Not to be deterred I recruited another student from college to live in the coffin and he was to be carried by his student friends and fellow musicians, to Weather Spoons, MacDonald’s, Burger King, Edwin's and the Oast and Squire to be fed as planned. It was also decided we should put another band and replace “Desperate Measures” by Dave Clarke from the 60's and the Resurrection. The band was formed and we performed as planned singing my songs, Rebekah's Field”, “My Resurrection” and Can you remember. It was a crazy night and the bar was packed and during the last song one of my son’s friends, Morgan, a BMX'er from Portsmouth, pored lighter fuel on my trousers and caught light to me. Fortunately the fire was put out by a pint of beer. Needless to say we did not win, as we were probably the worst band at the event but not the dullest.

Morgan was caned

For poring lighter fuel in me in the pub I had to ain Morgan for his actions.


We let him off lightly because he did turn up with his BMX bike as I had asked him to tow the coffin down the street to Oliver’s Bar, using his BMX bike along wit his friends from the skate Park in Portsmouth.

The Air Balloon Portsmouth


Ironing to Xube music at The Air Balloon

Our next musical event and band promotion was at the Air Balloon in Portsmouth.

Xube was playing and we did what was known as an “Installation” there. Mike Fisher

on Bass and Dave White on keyboard. It was Drama to Xube music. We were what you might call progressive musicians getting away from the old fashion ways of men and women relationships. We were modern men no longer went to the pub on our own with the boys, leaving our wives alone at home doing house work, but took our wives with us. They could come as well provided they did the ironing in the pub.

A problem of stolen equipment

One problem with dealing and helping many people is that you don’t know whom you can trust. A number of students from Fareham College were interested in our music ventures that I called Rock and Real Music and they came to my home, not only making music but also be involved in video production. One of which video’s we made at Stubbington Cemetery and are now on the web. (Search for davidolores)

One such problem was that a lot of valuable equipment was stolen from my house and I heard by the grape vine that two the students, Gavin Sampson and Jodie who had been to my house often had stolen these items and sold it to Ging Roberts. So I made some enquiries and eventually got hold of Ging and asked for his help after writing him a letter of request:

Ging as they call you

Or otherwise, Jamie Roberts, 25 Langston Court 26th September 2000

I have been trying to contact you for a few weeks now but I can never catch you in, so I am writing this note to you.

Gavin Sampson, from Portchester, sold you some guitars and electrical gear a few weeks ago. That’s fair enough except that the gear he sold you was stolen from my house. Other stuff also went missing (Jodie took it but denies he did so) – a Sharp mini CD recorder and mini discs. There are two Goodman’s radio handsets (trans- receivers) and some valuable CD’s.

I was looking after some of this gear for a friend of mine who was in prison at the time and now he is out he is looking for his stuff.

A few friends of mine have asked around to recover the stuff and we now know where it is and where it went. I met Bruster, in Reading Remand Centre last Wednesday and he informed me Gavin Sampson also sold some of the stuff at the Cash Exchange, in North End.

I have given Jodie and Gavin Sampson plenty of to recover and return the stuff but they seem to think we will forget about it. A few friend of mine know you- Rob White (now Deceased) Frazer, Wesley and others who say you are OK and will help me recover the stuff.

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Gavin Sampson Jodie

I have told Sampson and Jodie we don’t wish to involve the police, so as not to get them a criminal record and am not interested in who else was involved but we want our stuff back.

They have the following choices:

  1. Return the stuff (anonymously) – if need be- like some has already re-appeared.

  2. Attend a “House Court” at number 11 Hayling Close.

  3. A normal criminal court if the police are involved.

I have made known that I am not into breaking fingers or kneecapping or shot gun reprisals, as there are other ways to deal with this kind of matter.

I would value you help in helping me recover the items of stuff that you know about. Dave Clarke, On behalf or Mark Rogers.

After this Ging and I had a meeting and I gave him £100, which he had paid for our goods, and he said he would get back what he could. How ever I had to chase things up as trouble began to brew. Here my note to Ging.

Ging 4th October 2000


How are things with the recovery of the stuff? Unfortunately things seem to be getting a little bit out of hand, as Jodie has got his nose broken on Tuesday.

Apparently Elly’s friend Wesley was not happy with my stuff being taken and took it upon himself to act on his own (I do not approve) and I told him we have the matter sorted but breaking noses or any sort of violence will not help.

As result Jodie informed the College nurse and as a result Wesley was expelled fro College today. I feel unless these items are recovered there may be some serious violence that could take place. All of which, I wish to avoid.

Please call me with some good news. David Clarke

Good Recovered

Thankfully most of the goods were returned and Ging became a friend and later wanted to help with the work I wanted to do, in helping people to stay off drugs. I learned later that unfortunately for him he was a heroine Addict and sadly died a few years later. How ever before his death we made a video together about drug addiction and he wanted to use it to warn other not to get involved. The video shows him preparing the heroine and the needle and injecting himself. He described his experience and he wanted to help with the project of help and warning people to stay off drugs etc. I had already made a video regarding the drug problem, in Stubbington and had sent it to the Police, The News, Schools in Stubbington and Prince Charles and Ging wanted to help.

Ging Dies

I was later informed of Ging’s sad death and replied to a request on YouTube about information about Ging. I posted part of Ging’ video on YouTube. I wasn’t long however that Ging’s relatives responded with fierce opposition so I removed it at their request. It was pointed out that I had spelt the title of Prince Charles wrong. Instead of HRH Prince of Wales I had written HRH Prince of Whales- to which Ging’s father took exception too.

Xube Rock music to everything

Xube music as the brainchild of Mike Fisher, on of my former students and David White both from Gosport. Mike had played bass on my song “Can you remember”, and as a result I began to promote their music.

David is the manager of a new Rock band called Xube




Mike Fisher-Dave White Duncan Tickler (Now deseased)

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Watch out for:


Xube Drama


Xube Rock


Xube Therapy


Tube Marriage


Xube Birth


Xube Art

In fact Xube Music to anything. Xube Rock Art Music

To be part of this Xube phenomenon call: Mike Fisher on 02392 786294

An example of Xube art was where our artist’s performed their work at The Stables in Gosport. Two of Fareham students were models and for the sake of modesty I insisted the girls each wore a body stocking while they were painted as Xube music was played.


Duggy Hammond at the Stables in Gosport with our Xube Models



Jim Gold Xube’s Resident artist Xube Models to the right

Bellow. These are the first ladies to give birth to Xube babies

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Should I pay Council Tax?

Towards the end of the year 2000 the Council Tax office wrote to me wanting me to pay extra council tax as it had been reported that I had someone living in my caravan which was parked on my front drive. Here is my letter of reply to them.

The letter to Council Tax Manager Fareham Borough Council 19th December 2000

Dear Sir or Madam,

Re: Council Tax 440189724 your letters 11th December and 28th September

In response to your second letter regarding he above (Council Tax for someone living in a caravan) I have in fact already been asked about this before and I have had a visit from Mr Cooper from Building Control etc.

It appears to me that I have been a victim of a prolonged campaign, by these spurious allegations by neighbours. Complaints have been made in the past including the following:

  1. Persons sleeping in a tent

  2. Allowing animals to copulate in the garden

  3. Allowing children to use bad language in the street

  4. Parking on the pavement (the complainant failed to persuade a police constable to issue a parking ticket)

  5. Overcrowding

  6. Storing gas cylinders

  7. Running an electrical repair business

  8. Running a house or occupying a house in multiple occupation

  9. Generating loud music

  10. Connecting up a gas supply

This allegation is just another to add to the list with no truth in it. It is alleged I allow a Persons or students from Fareham College to live in my caravan. Such an accusation

I have denied already in the past. Except for the fact that my children sleep in the caravan during the summer holidays (occasionally).

My daughter has also suffered from anonymous, abusive phone calls, from a neighbour. No one has ever spoken to me personally about any such problems except for the noise and I have dealt with that immediately. I am not the only person to have had this type of problem with the neighbour’s.

Now regards the caravan

As I understand things, a person would not be allowed to reside in a caravan unless Building Control allows it. If this was allowed then the Council would be due whether they lived there or not. I already stated no one is living in my caravan. However allow my tongue in check reply.


It has been reported to me that the following picture was taken of an occupant in the caravan and it is believed it escaped from the animal recue center in Stubbington. It looks rather dangerous to me and I don’t think it has the means to pay the Council any Tax. I dare not ask it.

Yours Sincerely David Clarke

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

We will do our best to keep the peace.

The occupant of the caravan 11 Hayling Close PO14 3AE

  1. Michael’s call for help

    Michael had written to me in 1998 asking me to help him and I could tell from his first letter he was in a very bad way. He told me of another Englishman, Suny Wilson, who had been "set up” for a crime he did not do and was sentenced to death in 1996. Michael use to visit him on Death Row and spend time together. The Philippine Supreme Court acquitted Suny Wilson, on the 19th December 1999 through the help of Alan C. Atkins and Errol Wilkinson and he had given Michael a small paperback entitled "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis on his release. Michael read this book and was later convinced that Jesus was the Christ the Son of the living God.

    Michael’s letter indicating a true change of mind and heart

    Dear David, 7th May 1999

    With regards to me writing my life story etc., for you to include in your book! Please David forgive me but I am so screwed up, I just could not handle it right now. It takes me all my strength to just write this letter to you...

    I am so very pleased that you are concerned for me and that you include me in your prayers and your fellow Christians. I do believe in God and Jesus Christ but even though I pray and ask him to please forgive me, for all my sins, and to help me to be a better person and to take over the rest of my life on earth and to lead me into heaven - I do not want to go to hell because I know that what I am suffering now is nothing to the perpetual hell which would await me after physical death on earth. My faith is not strong enough and I am so very, very, confused. Even if I get out of here what am I going to do with the rest of my life. I am looking very old, skinny, withdrawn. I have not smiled in almost 4 years. Where am I going to live? How can I earn a living in my condition?

    Oh, David I am so very afraid of the future and it hurts me so much to even think about it. I have become old before my time and all I can see is loneliness in some dingy rented room and no chance of ever finding some one (a lady) to love and share things with. Oh, David what am I going to do?

    The only thing that stops me thinking about suicide is that hell will be waiting for me and the torment there will be a million times worse. Will I ever smile again? Will I ever love again? Will any one love me again? Is it possible to be happy again? I do not have any reason to live and that is so very frightening. Oh, David I know you have your problems that may be greater than mine and to be honest I do not know how you cope. How do you manage to keep working and keep your home going, the loss of you wife must be absolutely unbearable? May be you can suggest how I tackle my problems of the future, for me there simply is no light at the end of the tunnel.

    When I leave here I don’t even have a pair of shoes. I will have to start all over again but the question is how do I start all over again? I simply have no will to live and I just could not cope with living on my own as I know I would not be able to fend for my self. To think of buying a property is really out of the question. What do I do? What do I do?

    Another reason why I cannot think of writing my life story is because I am truly ashamed of many of the things I have done and I don’t really want to broadcast my evil past for every one to read. I have confessed to the Lord and I just hope He will forgive me.

    You asked me how I felt about you becoming a Christian 30 years ago. Well I was quite proud of you but felt you were a little over the top but I never mocked you in any way. My heart broke with Karen Mead and the collapse of Tudor Charm and my divorce I will expand on that some other time so please David not at the moment, you might have to wait until I am released.

    At the moment I am taking each day at a time and I keep praying that I will be acquitted of this horrible conviction, which I hope will give me added strength to face the future. I am sorry my letter is so depressing, all I can do is pray to out the Lord for strength and guidance.

    Once again David thank you again for not forsaking me and I am sure you will be always there to give me support.

    Please give all my love to the Children Regards Michael.

    I write my life story

    It was during my long and lonely separation that I felt able and compelled to write my life story, which resulted in my second book, "Converted on LSD Trip". This penned my life story and how I first became a Christian, through a very bad experience on an LSD trip and this was published on 11th February 2001. How ever whilst writing the story I received the news of Michael’s conversion and included some of his story in my book. The publication of my book was not to every ones liking.

    One year on and a change takes place

    Just after one year I noticed a remarkable change in Michael’s outlook and his state of mind. It was all for the better. I gradually felt able to read and digest the 29

    National Bureau of Investigation Report (NBI), which clearly clears Michael of charges made against him. This record goes on to a recommendation that Fr. Shay Cullen, Michael’s Complainant, be deported on the grounds of him being and undesirable alien in the Philippines. (See report appendix 01)

    Here is Michaels letter:

    Dear David, July 3rd 2000

    Just a few lines wishing every thing are o.k. With you and you are being to sort out how you will be able to see your daughter on mutual terms.

    There is no movement with regards to my case with the Board of Pardon and Parole because as of today my prison records have not been sent from the prison document section to the Board. Every thing moves so slowly it really drives me crazy.

    I am still reading a lot of Christian books. The one I am reading now is “Joy Unspeakable” by Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones. It is all about the Holy Spirit and I believe that baptism of the Holy Spirit is some thing distinct and does not always, as some people think happen automatically at conversion. The Holy Spirit is within every believer at conversion YES but the baptism can come at any time when Jesus Christ chooses to out pour it upon us. And if us Christian’s are not aware of this and do not seek this ultimate experience I believe they are quenching the Holy Spirit, by not praying for it, and not just for them selves but for the whole Christian Church. “Revival”.

    Etc. Your are always in my prayers Michael.

    News of Michael’s conversion

    Michael wrote to me again to me in 2000 with news of his conversion to Christianity and of him being baptised, in a 45 gallon oil drum in New Bilibid Prison, by Lucas Dangatan, a former inmate, who was now a Religious Volunteer (RVO) working in New Bilibid Prison and Pastor of the New Bilibid Prison Theological Institute (NBPTI) in the prison. I finally believed Michael was telling the truth about his conviction. That he too had been "set up" for a crime he did not commit. This was clear to me after reading the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) report, written by the Bureau in 1995. See Appendix “Trojan Warriors" to read the report. This report was brought to me by Suny Wilson, who himself had been wrongly convicted on a charge of rape. He called me on the telephone, on the 25th December 1999, soon after he returned to England, to introduce himself and he then came to see me with news of Michael and to give me the NBI report.

    Michael is baptized in the prison

    As I was putting the final touches to the first edition of Converted on LSD Trip, I felt compelled to include Michael's story (this is a STOP PRESS story) and must be told by Michael himself but in his letters to me when, I asked him to write his side of the story to compliment, "Converted on LSD Trip" he wrote in May 1999, "with regards to me writing my life story etc. For you to include in your book! Please David forgive me but I am so screwed up I just could not handle it right now it takes all my strength just to write this letter to you". Our Church sent him a new leather bound bible and a

    couple of tapes and some friend wrote to him. He said also he was very pleased my fellow Christians were praying for him and were concerned about him. He expressed he was so very low and did believe in God and had asked forgiveness for all his sins and trusted in him. He wonders could any one ever love him and would he ever smile again or could he ever be happy again. Another reason why he could not think to write his story was because he said “I am truly ashamed of many things I have done and really did not wish to broadcast my evil past to every one at that time”. He had confessed to the Lord and just hoped he would be forgiven.

    In July 2000 Michael wrote he was reading Christian books and at that present time was reading, "Joy Unspeakable" by Dr Martin Lloyd -Jones. I was very encouraged and soon realised he had become a Christian when he expressed his wish to work in full time Christian ministry.

    It became very apparent to me and to others that God had demonstrated His goodness to another undeserving sinner. Michael John Clarke. This was indeed good news to say the least. Armed with this good news and my intentions, I told my story to the religious correspondent at The News Portsmouth, Lizzy Millar.

    THE NEWS Saturday August 12th 2000

    ON THE left is Dave Clarke - college lecturer and committed Christian. On the right is his brother Michael - currently languishing in a prison cell in the Philippines.


    The News Saturday, August 12, 2000

    Dave spends much of his spare time trying to help young people turn away from a life of crime. Now he is on his most important mission yet - trying to save his brother's soul.

    Dave converted to Christianity almost 30 years ago, after sharing a life of crime with his brother in their youth. But his brother Michael went further off the rails and is now in a jail in the Philippines.

    Dave, 52, of Hayling Close said, regular letters from his brother showed he was sick of his lifelong criminal past, and was thinking of becoming a Christian. He said: 'Michael wrote to me saying he was despairing and suicidal and asked me about my faith. 'I've been praying hard for him and believe he has now come to know the Lord as his personal savior. I think he is listening to what I write.

    Both brothers were notorious criminals in Buckinghamshire where they lived in the 1960s. They were jailed for malicious wounding, which involved shooting a woman in the face with an air weapon at Margate.

    Dave said: “When I came out I knew everything there was to know about crime. It was a good school”.

    “I was determined to have the best of everything and went about it with determination. “I was riding on my brother's reputation. I thought he was cool, but others may not have done so. I set up a garage business for stolen cars.'

    Dave went to Borstal for 12 months while his brother, who denied the charge, went to Maidstone prison for two years.

    Father-of-five Dave went straight after converting to Christianity in 1970. He moved to Fareham where he began teaching electronics at the town's college, and became involved with the Christian Gospel Church.

    His brother went on the run after being given home leave from prison but was recaptured and served his full sentence.

    Michael is now four years into a 16-year jail sentence in prison in the Philippines for promoting child sex tourism. This crime he has always denied.

    MICHAEL Clarke discovered the Philippines and its cheap sex business in 1995 when he set himself up as a tour operator.

    He placed an advertisement under the name of Paradise Express in Exchange and Mart and produced crude brochure describing a 12-night holiday as the dirty dozen and with Photos of bikini clad woman as well as giving details on how to find a Filipino wife.

    Michael Clarke, who is divorced with a daughter, had been arrested: for agreeing that under age prostitutes could be procured, after he had been captured on a hidden camera. He is appealing against the conviction as an Irish priest set him up.

    Dave said he hoped his brother would now find God and give up crime.

    He added “ I regret the hurt and pain I caused, but I realize I had to go through what I have because when I talk to kids to keep them out of trouble I have credibility.

    Lizzy Millar The News 12th August 2001.

    Our local news reporter Liz Millar of The News wrote to Michael, via e mail and asked the following questions “ as follows:

    Liz also wrote these questions for Michael in 28th Aug 2000 Questions for Michael Clarke

    1. How do you plan to get out of prison?

      Answer - Conditional Pardon by way of voluntary deportation

    2. How can we be sure you've changed your ways?

    Answer - It is my Lord Jesus Christ that has convicted me of all my Sins, but regards to the crime I was convicted for, which I will always maintain my innocence as Fr. Shay invented this crime.

    Cullen who is an Irish Priest and he himself has been charged with Rape and a warrant is now out for his arrest with NO BAIL granted. The Victim is a 7-year-old girl.

    I amongst several foreigners have become a victim of Fr. Cullen and The Modus Operandi of him is now under investigation by the Secretary of Justice whom hopefully in the long run will vindicate me completely from this present conviction.

    The fact that I am now a true Christian and my FAITH will safe guard me from the temptations of the Devil. It is the same FAITH that assures me of eternal life. AMEN.

    I encourage Michael to be baptized

    I wrote to Michael in order to encouraged him and said he must now be baptised (Dipped) and I gave him the words as he had expressed into what name or on who's authority should he be baptised? I said In the name of Jesus (his authority) and get immersed water, in the name of Father, Son and Holy Ghost (Spirit). I said he must get one of the inmates who was a Christian to dip him or one of the Christian works that he knew.

    These he did and on the 16th September Michael was baptised, as a Christian, in a make shift 45-gallon oil drum.


    Michael is baptised 16th September 2000. Philippines

    To: "'David Clarke'" <>

    Subject: My visit today to Michael

    Date: Tue, 19 Sep 2000 16:37:09 +0800

    He sends you this reply.

    I was baptised "by immersion" on Sept. 16th 2000 a photo, the photo is now being developed.

    Your suggested words were used even before I received your views. YES please put on the web sites the NBI report. But do not give any details whatsoever as to my past criminal record this is personal so just say in general terms that over the years he did many things that were wrong including breaking the criminal law. This also concerns any newspaper stories about me. NO DETAILS only general.

    Regards to Liz Miller’s question asking, "what does he expect the new story will do to help him".


    To expose the truth about the fabricated case against me brought about by Fr. Shay Cullen. But I believe that God will use this situation to expose the works of Satan and in doing so I have surrendered myself to the Lord and have devoted the rest of my life to saving other lost souls.

    I have forgiven Fr. Shay Cullen for his evil acts and hope he too confesses his sins to the lord as well as publicity otherwise I know that he is not a Christian and the Lord will punish him in his own way.

    Ps Michael was first imprisoned June 7th 1995 - date of sentence Oct 11th 1996 to date 5 years 4 months in Prison


    Michael’s Baptism Group (Pastor Lucas- bottom centre)

    I was over the moon with delight and I wrote and told him this was the way forward and we will go on together with Gods help and strength get him clear or acquittal and out of prison.

    John Sawyers funeral

    At that time John Sawyer, one of my students died. He was a diabetic and lived alone at 6 Ranson Close, Titchfield.

    The police rang me one morning asking if I knew John Sawyer. I explained I was his course tutor at Fareham College and he was one of my student doing a City and Guilds course in Electronics Servicing.

    The policeman explained John was found dead in his home at Titchfield and he had no relatives to contact and my telephone number was the only contact they found in John’s house.

    I had known John, as a student at College, for about two years and had visited him at his home. He had shared with me about his life and his struggles with Fareham Borough Council about his workshop that they stopped him building.

    He was quite a well-liked character amongst the staff at Fareham College. He loves his wife, who had died a few years previously, and so he returned to college doing mechanical engineering and electronics as a hobby. He was a mechanic and engineer having all kinds of good electronic and mechanical equipment.

    Since John had no relatives we decided at college to make arrangements for his own departure. It was muted at first we hire a proper vicar to conduct the funeral. It was then I stepped in and said I would be pleased to conduct his funeral.

    Several students and staff came to his funeral including Geoff Whitefield our Head of School and our Health and safety officer Marilyn Dufour.

    Our technicians and staff were his coffin bearers whilst I spoke a few relevant words about John and his life. I related that Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus wept. It was a natural thing to feel and express grief. I said had John been a believer he would have gone to be with Christ but he had made no profession of faith, as far as any one knew. So I couldn’t say any more.

    It was a sorrowful occasion but John had a respectful funeral and he left us with good memories of him self.

    It was commented after the funeral that his coffin was so heavy they suggested John had taken with him his tool kit.

    It was also said I made a better preacher than a lecturer; little did they know that that was my real calling.

    It can be said that I cater for all my students' needs although I have not yet been a mid wife. Nor have I conducted a marriage.

    My redundancy at Fareham College

    It was in March 2001 that I was given 6 months notice my compulsory redundancy. I had taught electronics at Fareham College since September 1988, however student numbers had declined over the years and the college had decided to no longer offer the courses I had taught. I felt very insecure and was not sure about the future on all fronts. With this bad news and sense of despair I tried to speak to my estranged wife. I was concerned about our future and I had the need to talk about our finances but she state that she wanted nothing to do with my house, my money, or anything and wanted nothing do with my brother, as she stated he was a paedophile.

    I felt so alone and realised I had to look after my own interests and my brother. I knew if I had no income she would not get any money from me for maintenance for my daughter and have to rely on other sources. And so since she wanted nothing to do with my concerned I felt there was no reason for me to stay in the U.K when I could be in the Philippines, giving assistance to my brother who needed me.

    This was the moving cause and reason of our first mission to the Philippines and enabled me to make the decision to go. My wife would have to see to her life on her own.

    Fareham College Principal’s response to my book, “Converted on LSD Trip”

    The story of “Converted on LSD Trip” was an embarrassment to some people, including the Principal of Fareham College who was my employer. The Principal being Malcolm Charnley. I just could not understand this no one seamed to realize what was happening and it was clear the book was judged by it’s cover. The Principal wrote:

    “I do not wish to be associated personally or professionally with a book entitled “Converted on LSD Trip” with it’s over reference to drug taking”. October 2001.

    This was presumably because the book had been published whilst I was working at Fareham College. In my true story I mention my work at the College and my turn away from God and so was probably an embarrassment to the College. It was remarked by some that my story might have been just too much for the College to cope with and that my imminent redundancy from the college was the result. The strange thing was that whilst all this was taking place the College was under considerable pressure from the Health and Safety Executive who were examining it for not dealing correctly with problems of asbestos on its premises.

    The College was later fined (February 2002) on four counts, a sum of over £23,000, for exposing staff and students to asbestos dust. This however was after I finished work at the college, in August 2001. My redundancy fro Fareham College made it possible for me to complete our Mission to the Philippines.

    Portsmouth consultant Psychiatrist approves my book

    The irony was that at the same time Dr. Philip Fleming, the consultant psychiatrist of the Kingsway House, the center for Substance Misuse Service, Portsmouth had written a forward to the second edition.

    Dear David,

    I attach a brief review of your book as requested. As you will see I found your experiences of great interest and I am sure your book will be of help to many.

    Best wishes Philip Fleming


    "Converted on LSD Trip"

    This book, the personal testament of David Clarke, in in an autobiographical style. It charts his life, which became one of criminality and drug taking though an experience in 1970 of finding God whilst under the influence of LSD. Cynics may say that this was just an effect of drugs, but it is clear that the experience changed his life. Later when in court facing charges he admitted to many other crimes and was fortunate in receiving three years conditional discharge and not a prison sentence.

    Since then David has combined his work as a lecturer in electronics with his mission of spreading the word of God. This is a scrupulously honest book recording both the difficulties he has faced as well as the successes in his life since 1970. A continuing worry is the fat of his brother, currently serving a long prison sentence in a Philippine jail who himself has recently found God.

    “This is an inspiring story of a life that has been turned from crime to a positive account and may be of help to others who find them selves directionless and involved in crime and drug misuse”.


    Dr. Philip M. Fleming. MA. BA, Bch. FRCPsych. DPM.

    Consultant Psychiatrist with special responsibility for drugs and alcohol services. Kingsway House is the base for these services in Portsmouth. May 2001

    Knowing these things I felt that middle class morality stank and not all men have faith to see beyond and outward show of righteousness. Some went so far as to say “I must withdraw the book from circulation”. They believed it would do harm and not good.

    Gordon Smith contacts me

    My book had been published and news article appearing the Bucks Herald newspaper, in Aylesbury and as a result Gordon Smith, an old of Michael and contacted me and we renewed acquaintances. It was then we decided we would go together to the Philippines to assist my brother. It was decided we would visit for 3 weeks, as this was the longest time we could visit without a visa.

    The decision to go to help Michael.

    The decision to go and help my brother Michael was made in May 2001 and was born after a long and bitter conflict with my wife. We had separated and I had lived separately since November 1998. I did not want this separation and wanted reconciliation. My attempt to work together in a Christian marriage had failed. It was our on-going arguments, over the conduct of the children of my first marriage, and an on going legal battle over my access to me seeing our very young daughter. It became apparent that we were unable to see eye-to-eye, about anything, and unable to discuss any matter without emotions rising, developing into unreasonable arguments, and leaving me feeling total despair.

    The stress had driven me to ask for personal of counselling at my work, in order to help me deal with the sense of hurt, rejection and, loss along with resentful feelings that I was experiencing. This lasted for two years until I was able to handle the conflicts I faced. It had always been my view that it was wrong for my wife and I to live separately and for me to be denied the natural right to be with my very young daughter. I also felt it was her right to be with and see her daddy on a daily basis. I also knew we just could not afford the luxury of two homes. I was living in the house I had purchase before our marriage and my wife and daughter were living in our matrimonial home, which belonged to my wife before we married. I felt, as she was not prepared to be reasonable about all these things and resolve our marriage problems I would have to take the legal route.

    A legal matter from now on

    I had experienced many months of arguments and dispute, with Nurse Ratchet, which included a long drawn out protracted legal battle over my rights to see my daughter. It was noted by the respondent's solicitor that I had written over 1000 A4 sheets to which she had to address. The shear volume of my correspondence indicated my concern and wishes to see my daughter. After my petition to the court the judge ordered that my wife would have the responsibility of bring up my daughter

    and I would have access to see her at certain times, without hindrance or let. How ever even this did not work.

    The Child Support agency had eventually, assessed our financial status and set the amount of Child Support I was give her mother. I was thankful for this because although I had given voluntary maintenance to my wife, from 5th November 1998 to 1st August 1999, Nurse Ratchet refused to apply for a CSA assessment. Nurse Ratchet insisted and refused to cooperate stating neither she nor my daughter wanted any money from me.

    It was only after she had been advised by her Solicitor, in February 2000, to make the much-needed application to the CSA to assess the amount of maintenance I should pay her. It was this action that resolved the matter. So maintenance was now determined by the CSA, for which I was thankful because otherwise my daughter would either get no money or we would be perpetually engaged in unreasonable arguments about money. She had decided that I should go and it would seem no consideration was given to how this separate life style should be funded. I certainly could not afford or be prepared to pay the luxury of running two homes. Nurse Ratchet would have to pay for that luxury, which I could not afford.

  2. Our Mission to the Philippines August 2001

    Gordon and I left on our mission to the Philippines, in order to bring help and relief to Michael who had organize our mission from within the New Bilibid Prison, along with the help of various Religious Volunteers (RVO) who worked in the prison.

    New Bilibid Prison is the largest prison in the Far East and consists of three compounds. The Maximum, Medium and Minimum compounds along with penal farms. At the time of our visit the prison housed over 23,000 inmates with 1200 men on Death Row. Michael was in the Maximum-Security Compound and in that high walled prison were various religious groups that looked forward to our visit as Michael had arranged that we should speak and tell of our religious experiences that I recorded in my book, Converted on LSD Trip.

    Our invitation to visit the Philippines, on this mission, was by issued by Joseph Kim, a Korean missionary who did volunteer work in the prison and he also arrange for us to visit other prisons and church during our visit.

    We also visited other jails, including Angeles City and Barretto District Jail, were Michael was first imprison in 1995.

    It was while we were sharing our experiences, to a large group of prisoners in the Maximum compound, that both Michael and I felt it would be good to let some of these prisoners, who had been converted from crime to Christ, to share their testimonies with the free society. On that occasion I requested a hundred men to write their personal testimonies and we would publish them in a book that we would call, “Trojan Warriors”. ISBN 9780953947317.

    Trojan Horse International

    During the next year Michael, along with Lucas Dangatan, a religious volunteer (RVO) and pastor of the New Bilibid Prison Theological Institute within the prison, worked together to collect and verify these testimonies. I worked here in England and wrote our book, “Trojan Warriors” in which the vision we all shared is recorded and at that time was to be realised.


    Our first Trojan Warrior In August 2002

    Our vision

    We had decided that we would work together with Lucas Dangatan and his men in his New Bilibid Prison Theological Institute, and form the first ever teacher training college, called New Bilibid Teacher Training College, within a prison, whose objective were to train men who had been converted from crime to Christ to go back to there own cities, upon their release, to teach and share the gospel with their own families and friends. We also planned to work with the Department of Justice and have volunteer inmates, from Medium security compound, to go into the Maximum compound and attend the Teacher Training College, for instruction and help.

    William Poloc was released, after serving 18 years in New Bilibid Prison. He was the first of what we hoped would be many inmates to be released, with the support and financial aid of our New Bilibid Teacher Training College.

    Williams Poloc’s (Extract from Trojan Warriors) Testimony number 62 in our book Trojan Warriors

    Inmate William C. Poloc


    Name: William O. Poloc

    Age: 47 years old 3rd January 1954

    Status: Married 3 children Prison No: 140226-P Dormitory: 13-A

    Crime: Robbery with Homicide Sentence: Life Imprisonment Served: 13 yr. 6 months

    Detained: Since 1988

    Family: Address: 207 C. Michael St., Lower Engr's Hill, Baguuio City, Philippines 2600

    Dear Guys,

    Greetings in the sweetest name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

    Hey guys! If you ain't be doing right now or maybe something's gonna be fussing you over, just put on your stuff, get rid of those hanky-pankies from your mind and do allow me to drive you into a footing you can be able to size up...."Who you are, what you are, and where you are".

    Guys just do me a little favor by going over these few lines. You know I really mean business. I don't want making any "tse-tse buret-tse" (exaggerated stories) with you neither I go roaming around the bush because I know in some degrees you're indeed a spoiled brat like me before. Well. If my A, B, C, would hit you directly below the belt, that’s gonna be a sure sign that I made an impact... No pain, No gain. Right!

    On August 22nd 1989, I was sentenced by the court to suffer the penalty of life imprisonment for committing a crime of robbery with homicide. Qualified as and insular prisoner, I was then immediately transferred from Baguio City Jail to the National Bilibid Prison. Maximum Security Compound, Muntinlupa City. The place is a couple of hundreds kilometers away from my home. The legendary hell inhabited by hardened criminals coming from different places of the country. Killings, stabbings and rumbles are common activities and a daily experience caused between gangs before.

    My early years in prison were indeed a mess. I could hardly adjust myself with the unusual and unpleasant environment. The climate was too hot for a country boy like me. I felt sick dealing with different people around. People who know no other things but to invent tes-tse buret-tse just to deceive others. Sometimes I became morally inclined when my family comes to visit. After all, I am back again to my abnormal situation. Life in prison for the past eight years was a bitter experience in my life. Until one day that was in June 1995 I happened to attend a fellowship of born again Christians. I just don't know what prompted me to get assembled with these enthusiastic people. It was my only first time to join worshiping God demonstrated by dancing and clapping of hands. I really felt irritated and thought to myself that these people had gone all insane. I just wanted to step out of that rumpus place but there was some thing from within that's gonna be pulling me to stay over. Eventually I tried to relax myself and with curiosity, observe the next event that would take place after the singing. Mean while a man rose from his seat, positioned himself at the pulpit, and confidently delivered his message. I could not understand why at that very moment my attention was focused on the preacher's message. It was a message of hope, a hope for sinners like you and me. A hope that isn't temporary a lasting one authenticated by the blood of Jesus Christ. I was deeply moved and had been responsive by the preacher's message. It was very interesting and encouraging, however, intimidating. In my perception, I sensed that the preacher was emphatically hurling the message to me. But how did he come to know my spiritual needs? Besides it was only the first time we met each other. Nevertheless, whatever the intent of the preacher in delivering his message, I don't care. I don't care if it hurts me, being a sinner. I am drawn by his message and like it. I wanted to grasp everything he's trying to say. Finally, the conclusion of the preacher ended in a

    simple statement of challenge, which says. "Brothers, true hope can only be experienced through faith in Christ".

    As I lay on my bed in my little room that very night, the message flashed back in my mind. I tried to recapture and meditate everything he said and found out my self that I am one of the worst sinners living against the will of God. And as a result, I deserve the menacing punishment of hell. The glowing presence of the preacher's massage that morning became real into my mind. I was convinced that through faith in Christ was the only way to elude the consequences of being a sinner.

    It was on the evening of June 1995, that I decided to accept Christ in my little room. Dragged by my will and emotion, I cried to God for the forgiveness of my sins. I asked God to give me a new life. The following day I felt like being a new man, I perceived that there was joy, peace and hope stimulating over my whole being. After a couple of months I committed myself to a church and was baptized. I really felt God was working in my life and wanted to equip me with his word. So I enrolled then in a Theological Institute and by the grace of God I was able finish a 4-yr. course Bachelor in Theology. At the same time I endeavored to be active in every spiritual activity by preaching God's word to other churches here in prison, evangelism, and sharing God's word to my co- inmates.

    Lots of them were surprised to see the changes that miraculously transpired in my life. And this led some of them to come and accept the Lord as their personal Savior. People over here call me a doctor. I remember a certain Englishman by the name Michael Clarke. Every time he had a problem he used to consult me asking for a prescription. Of course I have got to give the best spiritual medicines that will heal him. In fact that is the reason why they call me the doctor.

    From now on, Muntinlupa the former grave of the living dead became the center of evangelism for Christ. Missionaries and Evangelists from different places thronged the place to preach the Word of God. Consequently lots of my co- inmates arose from their graves (spiritually speaking) they've come to accept Christ as their Lord and personal Savior.

    Guy's! Have you considered the questions? Who are you? What you are? Where you are? . The Bible says that we are all sinners, therefore, each and every one of us deserves death (torments in hell) but because of God’s loving-kindness he gave us the antidote in the person of Our Lord Jesus Christ to save us from the impending wrath of God.

    Guy's it is time for you to think it over. You're in danger; you're in need of a Savior. Salvation is now! The Bible says that ... do not boast about tomorrow, we do not know that day may bring forth. (Prov. 27.1)

    If any one cares to write to me it would be my pleasure to respond. C/o my family home address. September 9th 2001.

    Gordon Smith saying good-bye to Dr. William Poloc.

    Gordon had just prayed to the Lord that one day he would bless him with a new leg because he is due for release in August 2002 and wants to be a Trojan Warrior Outreach Officer, in the jails in his mountain Province in Baguio City.


    A Bionic Leg would be a blessing.

    Can any one help?

    Our Second mission to the Philippines

    By October 2002, we had 66 testimonies, of some of the most notorious criminals who had testified to their conversion from crime to Christ. Twenty-two of these men

    were on Death Row, and I had the privilege of putting together this book with their stories written for all to see.

    Our book was published and printed and we shipped over 100 copies for each inmate that had submitted their testimony, and we went on our second mission to continue the work we had begun.

    William Poloc had returned to Baguio City and commenced a work in the City Jail and Benguet District jail and during my visit I had the privilege of baptizing 22 prisoners in Baguio City Jail and 8 souls in Benguet District Jail.

    Before the Cock Crows

    During my work in the Philippines, from October 2002 and July 2003, I was able to register our ministry with the Securities Exchange Commission, calling it Trojan horse International (TULIP) Phil’s. Incorporated and we were accepted as a bona fid ministry, which allowed us to work in all the prisons in the Philippines.

    During our mission I kept a diary and wrote about the work we were doing. This is to be published in our next book, which tells of the good and bad events that we encountered. Sadly Michael died in New Bilibid Prison in May 2005, before our vision to bring help to many in the Philippines was realised.

    Should I obey God or Man?

    I realize that I had considerable opposition and not every one was behind our work but I was not easily moved off course that was because by the fear of the Lord and not man, I chose rather to obey God and not be directed by the wisdom of men that are without faith towards God. I call my readers to look at the results of our mission recorded in this and our other publication to judge, as it is my opinion that Christ has been honoured and God has been glorified. And even though I had made enemies (I don’t understand why), I took encouragement from the commendation that I received from Prince Charles in 2002. This was because on my return to the UK in 2002, I sought to work among young people in our area, to steer them away from crime and drug use. In this work a made a documentary video highlighting the problem of drug use among young people in Stubbington. The video was sent to the schools, police and Prince Charles and it is his response that encouraged me to continue the work we had begun not only in the Philippines but also now in the UK. (davidolores)

    A commendation from Prince Charles

    The work that I was engaged in brought encouragement some and caused alarm to others. However I was not totally without support as the Prince of Wales himself was very supportive of the work that I began to do on my return from the Philippines.

    Here is his letter of encouragement:

    From: The Office of HRH The Prince of Wales 7th February 2002


    Dear Mr. Clarke,

    The Prince of Wales has asked me to thank you for your letter of 22nd January in connection with the work, which you and others in you local area are undertaking in relation to young people and drugs.

    Your reasons for writing as you did are appreciated and His Royal Highness is grateful to you for taking the trouble to draw your very worthwhile efforts to his attention.

    The Prince of Wales has asked me to send you all his best wishes for the future success of your work.


    Yours sincerely.

    Mrs. Claudia Holloway D

    Present and future Publications

    The events of our first mission and subsequent visits to the Philippines are recorded in our publication, “Trojan Warriors”, which contains the story of our mission along with 66 life giving testimonies of hardened criminals, that had turned from crime to Christ, which makes very interesting and helpful reading.

    Our forth book “Before the cock crows”, tells the story of our second mission and relates the success, opposition and final registration of Trojan Horse International (TULIP) Phil’s. Incorporated, with the Securities Exchange Commission, a bona fid Christian organisation in the Philippines.

  3. Questions I am asked

The first question that comes to most peoples mind when I tell them of my conversion is “are you sure it was not just the LSD. Is it really true, did Jesus really speak to you or was it just the effects of LSD”. To which I would now reply, “If it was just the effects of LSD then OK it was a remarkable experience but that was all and I don’t have to take any more notice of it. However:

  1. It was real to me. I was so convinced that it changed my life over night. Of course I questioned it from time to time, as I was the only one being effected and I had every thing to gain or lose by following Jesus. It depends upon the way you look at it. We know also Satan tempted Jesus in this way. How ever for 15 years I remained certain of its reality.

    Yes of course it was true it really happened and the Word of God - the Bible, by believers and non-believers, has confirmed my subsequent experience.

  2. God is well able to speak to people in dreams or on drugs.

  3. God is able to speak to people wherever they are and in whatever state of mind or being they are. God would not be God if he could not do so. It is my wish that God will speak to you through my (Testimony) i.e. writing about my experience.

  4. I fell into serious doubts 15 years later and questioned every aspect of my own experience. I fell into depression and temptation and went through agony of soul and body for a period of 3 years. I finally concluded God did not exist and my experience was all in the mind.

    This led me to reason like this, “Of course any one’s life would be radically changed if they believed the gospel because it is so rational and sensible. It promises eternal life the forgiveness of sins and a relationship with God. It is bound to affect anyone who takes it seriously.” I thought however the gospel might not be true and if it isn’t then it doesn’t matter what you believe or do. I proved it does matter what you believe because look at me when I acted and did as I did in unbelief.

  5. I forsook God and the truth that I had received and believed. Turning to many sinful ways too shameful to speak of.

  6. God in his mercy drew me back in repentance and faith and I turned my back and the many hurtful ways I had got involved in.

  7. I argue that God in his wisdom has allowed all these things to happen to me, both the good and evil, to bring me to the point of testifying to the truth, of the goodness and mercy of God. It is my pleasure to do so. It is now as natural for me to glorify God as it is for a bird to sing.

May 12th 1999.

30 A fresh look at the Christian concept of marriage

(By David Clarke 23rd June 1996 amended June 1999)

God from the beginning of creation instituted marriage. Adam was made first and Eve was made from Adam’s flesh and bone as his helpmeet. After they had fallen into sin God spoke reprovingly to Adam for harkening to the voice of his wife after she had sinned in the Garden of Eden. God also spoke to the woman in condemnation saying,

Gen 2 18.

“I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee “.

Gen 3 17

To Adam he said because you have harkened to the voice of your wife and disobeyed my voice he cursed the ground saying in sorrow would he eat of it all the days of his life. Thorns and thistles would grow and in the sweat of his brow would he eat bread. Until he die.

As women suffer in childbirth and thorns and thistles grow and men have to work by the sweat of their brow so this curse remains and has not been removed because God uses this for his own glory. We may learn from it if we listen and hearken to his voice.

The Christian view of marriage has always been clear Ephesians 5 22

“ Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husband in every thing.

Husbands love you wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Etc. So ought men to love their wives as their own body. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

1 Cor 12 3

Before God the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.

There is clarity about the position of men and women before God. In this light we can view marriage.

The is no direct indication in the scripture as to how a marriage is entered into but it is generally agreed the man and woman wishing to marry:

  1. Marriage promises are made in public before witnesses.

  2. Must do so willingly

  3. There is a leaving the parental home and a cleaving too each other.

  4. The intention is for life

  5. Partners cannot leave the marriage

  6. A marriage can only be devolved if;

    1. Adultery takes place and that only by the injured party. Divorce does not have to take place if adultery happens.

    2. The unbelieving partner wishes to leave (this leaving being an act of the will and ceasing to behave as a married person) and the believer releases them.

  7. The legal part to marriage and divorce is only a technical aspect. It is not the actuality. Just like a death certificate does not make the person dead or a birth certificate give life to the baby, neither does a marriage or divorce certificate make a marriage or give rise to divorce. Christian marriage involves the marriage partners promising each other certain things. The following marriage vows are derived from scripture and are long-standing Christian beliefs.

  1. The man promises his bride to love, honour, cherish, care and look after her even as Christ loves and cares for his church. (Christ is his pattern). Col 3 19, Eph. 5 25, 1 Pet. 3. 7.

  2. The woman in return promises to love honour and obey her man (as the church does to Christ). This is the pattern spoken of in Eph. 5 22-24. This order and pattern of promises are only derived from the scripture and has been the order of things throughout the Church age.

These promises form a covenant and they are made before God and in the presence of witnesses. It is not a contract but a covenant and should not be broken. Even if partners fail to fulfil their promises they are still bound by promise to fulfil their vows. Even if they ignore their vows they are still married. Each partner is responsible to go the second mile in making the relationship work. In the marriage all that the husband has is his wife’s even his body and likewise all the wife has belongs to her husband.

This form of marriage is how God intends it to be and I would argue to depart from the scriptural view of marriage is to turn from what God has revealed. I cannot see how any one in their right mind would turn from Gods way of things.

Open to discussion. It sounds all right to me I would value any feedback.

  1. Testimony 41 (Extract from Trojan Warriors) Inmate: Michael John Clarke


    Name Michael John Clarke

    Age 54 years

    DOB 27th September 1946

    Previous Occupation

    Managing Director

    Status. Widower

    Dorm 8-A

    Crime Promoting Child Prostitution "Alleged"

    Sentence 14-16 years

    Family Address

    11 Hayling Close, Fareham,

    Hampshire, England, PO14 3AE.

    14th August 2001

    Dear Reader,

    As you may have gathered, I am the older brother of David Clarke, the team leader of the Trojan Horse Mission’ and it is my privilege and honour to use this opportunity to tell you that the Bible is FACT and not fiction, and Jesus Christ is ALIVE.

    In this testimony I will only highlight certain parts of my life, as David has already covered some of it in his book Converted on LSD Trip.

    In addition to this, I invite you to access our web-site, which shows quite clearly how God allows evil, (which in my case was the fabricated criminal case brought against me) in order to show that he is the Almighty God. Everything that happens is the bringing to pass of His Divine plan, which was conceived in Eternity.

    Prior to my first visit to the Philippines in February 1995, my concept of Christianity was that I only believed that there was a God, and that was enough. I considered myself to be ‘normal’ and in control of my own destiny – how wrong I was!

    As a tourist I first stayed in Angeles and Olongopo Cities. I was amazed at the abundance of ‘Girlie Bars’ and nightlife. It was crystal clear that sex was on the menu at a very low price.

    On my return to England I formed my very own ‘Paradise Express’ travel business, the aim of which was to offer low cost holidays to my fellow countrymen. I thought I was on to a winner, because there are no such things as ‘Girlie Bars’ in England.

    To cut the story short, within a few months my business was up and running and I returned to the Philippines to welcome my first influx of customers.

    On June 5th 1995 I was arrested for promoting child prostitution, and later sentenced to 14 to 16 years' imprisonment. I have, and always will, protest my innocence. There were no child victims or child complainants; my reference to girls was only a general reference to girls as in ‘Spice Girls’, the pop group. I was not promoting children; I want to establish that in your mind.

    After this, as you can imagine, I was very bitter and full of hate. Why, why, why have I been wrongly convicted, I would ask myself. I just could not understand why God would allow such a thing. Suicide was constantly on my mind.

    A foreign Christian Missionary worker who encouraged me to seek the Lord for the answer to this big question then gave me a bible.

    For the next few years I read the bible, and attended numerous so-called Christian gatherings, all of which seemed to differ in their interpretation of the Scriptures, which left me more confused. One day my friend Suny Wilson was acquitted from Death Row, and on his release gave me a book ‘Mere Christianity’ by CS Lewis. After reading it my eyes were opened to the truth. Everything began to make sense and I was drawn unknowingly to ‘Jesus is the Christ’ fellowship. Rev. Joseph Kim was the head pastor. He could see that I was thirsty and over a period of several months loaned me a vast array of books, which he assured me, would illuminate my mind further regarding this great mystery of mankind’s creation.

    I soon realized that for the last four years the Lord had been pulling me to him. He broke my yoke of bondage – I was saved from the power of Satan and given eternal Life. God revealed to me that he had to let me taste a little bit of hell in order to save my soul. God’s Grace saved me alone. He gave me faith and the ability to repent from my former life.

    After I was reborn, the Holy Spirit became very active in my life, and taught me to forgive the people responsible for my wrongful conviction. The power of Christ led me by force to a makeshift baptism in a 45-gallon ex-oil drum, in order to proclaim to the world that I was indeed one of God’s chosen people. With me were 24 other believers who were baptized unto death and new life in Christ.

    I have now devoted my life to the Lord and urge everyone to read, study, and meditate on some Words of scripture: The Book of John, chapter 3. Humble yourselves and ask God to come into your lives.

    If anyone feels the need to write to me, please do not hesitate, as that would be a sure sign that God is drawing you near to Him. Please use my address in England for

    correspondence. I pray to the Lord that he may bless everyone who reads this book and I ask the Holy Spirit to guide him or her to the Book of Revelation 12.11

    Signed by: Michael J Clarke, Ambassador of Christ.

    Duly witnessed by: Pastor Andy C. Dolin, Associate pastor, NBP Christian Church.


    Message to the World (August 11th 2001) From Michael J. Clarke

    It is my pleasure and to the GLORY OF GOD to proclaim that by God's Grace I have been saved from the power of sin and hell. Through FAITH and BELIEF that JESUS IS THE CHRIST I have now been granted ETERNAL LIFE.

    This same message of Salvation is available to everyone and who ever truly believe will be saved. The Bible is FACT not fiction and I implore everyone to read, study and meditate on John 3 and ask the Lord to have mercy on your soul.

    It is my prayer that my plea will also touch the hearts of all the bar owners and operators in Angeles City who knew me in 1995 when I was operating my Paradise Express travel business. Even though they know that I was charged and convicted for a crime that was totally fabricated, it doesn’t alter the fact that the life I was then living was saturated in sin. My master was the devil, of which I was totally ignorant. It is my duty to tell you that you are all being totally deceived and living in a false paradise. Take heed of my words of truth and change your life’s direction, with JESUS at the helm. I am not telling you to abandon your business! Just change the menu, kick out sin and promote tourism of a different nature in this beautiful country and your rewards will surpass your wildest dreams.

    I have now completely forgiven my complainant and pray for his soul. I realize that God allowed him to be used by Satan in order to bring about my salvation.

    At 10 am on August 12th I will be giving my testimony live on the Internet, God willing, here in Bilibid Prison. My brother David is the team leader of the ‘Trojan Horse Mission’ whose aim is ‘Setting captives free’.

    For further information. Or e-mail David:

    May God Bless you all, signed Michael John Clarke.


    By Michael Clarke


    We are at war and as Christians we become members of ‘God’s Army'. We are all involved in this warfare whether we like it or not, and whether we are aware of it or not. Heaven’s war is now on EARTH and it’s no joke!

    The Bible clearly tells us that the ‘origin’ of this war began in the cosmic realm, before the creation of man, in an ‘Angelic’ rebellion against the ‘Lordship of God’.

    How could such a rebellion happen in the presence of our God Almighty? The Scriptures help us with this (Deut 29-29) ‘The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things are revealed which belong to us and to our children forever.’

    This war will not end until the final judgment of evil supernaturalism. Until this final judgment, Satan, together with 1/3 of God’s former angels that he managed to persuade to join him, will continue and become positively worse. - ‘The number of fallen angels is unknown’

    Assured of victory

    Although the Scriptures clearly show that God will have the final victory in this war, the battle will continue with Satan’s army doing its utmost to try and stop mankind being re-united to its rightful Father, God Almighty.

    Be prepared

    Once we accept this reality we need to condition ourselves, so to speak, and put on our ‘Spiritual Glasses’ of Warfare. If we underestimate this warning we will, without a shadow of a doubt, become casualties of war. The Bible itself is a training manual for all God’s Army. However, to make us more efficient, God has inspired many Christian writers, who have had first hand experience of life in the mission-field, to highlight the importance of this training, together with the dangers that await the unprepared. God’s message on this topic is readily available in Christian bookstores and public libraries. Good instruction on this subject awaits all that are prepared to join a Bible study class.

    Knowing the enemy (2 Cor. 2-11)

    ‘Lest Satan should take advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices’ Unfortunately many Christians have a false sense of security! They tend to focus all their attention on Jesus and ignore the abundance of scriptural warnings. When this happens the adversary is delighted and his ‘soldier demons’ will attack (1Pet 5-8) ‘ Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary the Devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.’


    Scripture clearly shows that it is possible for true Christians to be devoured by the Devil because the warning was given directly to them, but this does not mean that we shall loose our salvation because that is impossible. We shall suffer calamity for not abiding in God’s armour. To confirm this read 1Tim 3-6 and 2 Tim 2-26. Also Paul warns us of this reality in 2Cor 11-3.

    The War

    This is best described as a ‘sin war’ in three dimensions:

    1. Sin is personal, it comes from within. It is our fallen nature, which is always inclined towards evil. The classic description of this inner warfare of our flesh against the indwelling Holy Spirit is found in Gal. 5 16-21.

    2. Sin is social, it comes from without. This is the problem of the world with all its temptations. The classic description of social sin is found in 1 John 2 15-17.

    3. Sin is supernatural; it comes from above, directly from Satan and his demons, principalities and his powers. Eph. 6.12

    The third dimension is the most difficult to understand and to handle. It is also the most frightening:

    DEMONS. What are demons? God has not chosen to reveal the origin of demons, but it appears that they are not in the same class as the fallen angels, but are somehow directly associated with Satan’s rebellion and are members of his Army. Having said this we can conclude that demons are individuals with supernatural evil powers.

    My main concern is to draw your attention to the reality of these powers. To underestimate this fact is fatal, just as to overestimate the problem could also make things difficult for Christians. Satan can and will take advantage of both these situations. However if we reject these powers, we must come up with another reason for the Son of God having come into this world.

    Having said that we can be sure of ample protection, not only from the direct indwelling of the Holy Spirit, but also the ever present protection of God's own Angels and their powers, which, according to Scripture is twice that of Satan.

    Demons are best described as evil spirits assigned to individuals on a personal level, whose main purpose is to influence the individual’s mind and to control their will. This is what the Scriptures mean by ‘demon possessed’ this does not mean possession, as this implies total ownership. Satan and his demons don’t own anything apart from their own evil. They are usurpers. God owns everything. However God holds all persons responsible for their own actions, and it must be understood that there are different levels of demonization, ranging from mild to very extreme.

    Can Christians be demonized?

    Most believers would hold the negative view based on the assumption that the Holy Spirit will not or cannot dwell in the same body as demons. There is not a single verse of Scripture, which states that true believers cannot under any circumstances be demonized. On the contrary, Scripture is full of warnings of such a possibility.

    The presence of the Holy Spirit does not, of itself, prevent demonization, just as it does not, in itself, prevent the Christian from sinning. The Holy Spirit is not afraid of demons, and will enter the body of a believer even if they are there. All believers prior to conversion have become demonized to some degree, and, the amount of sin and the amount of power it had over them will determine the amount of power needed to completely free them from this bondage of sin. In a lot of cases it is a matter of the person still dwelling on their past, which is used by the demons to torment them.

    Church history

    A study of the writings of the early church fathers reveals that they understood that the Christians could be demonized. Because of this they created a ‘Lay order's exorcists who took new believers through deliverance after their conversion to Christ and before their public Baptism.

    Worldwide contemporary experience is now unanimous in the view that some true Christians under unusual conditions of sin can be demonized. It is also possible for a believer to have picked up a demon or demons after conversion, through their own sin and/or the serious sin of others committed against them. It could also be caused by heredity, parental rejection, and contact with demonized persons, curses and even rock music. These are just some of the ways that the demons gain entry either before or after conversion to the body or the mind and hide deeply within the person’s structure. It is through lack of discernment and ignorance that Christians render themselves so vulnerable to demon attack. Example: Let us assume that our body is a house, and in that house there is a basement, which we shall call our inner structure. In this basement there is ‘garbage’ which in our case is our emotional and/or spiritual ‘garbage’. Demons are like rats – they feed on ‘garbage’ in some cases this garbage has been there for years and will take a lot of time and effort to remove. If it is not removed the demons will continue to feed. Likewise if the rats are removed and the garbage remains, they will surely return, with others, and continue to feed.

    The Answer: In most cases a person can handle this problem themselves. The new life of every born again believer is in constant battle with the old self, and in this battle the Holy Spirit which is inside them is constantly bringing to the surface all this deep- rooted garbage, which is brought before the Lord by way of repentance. This is ‘sin garbage’

    True Repentance: If you only repent ‘ about' or ‘over’ this ‘sin garbage’ it will remain like food for the demons to feed on! You must repent from your sins, which will leave them dead. This is very important; otherwise it will have no effect. Your repentance must be a sincere pledge …you must clean the basement.

    Final words: Please heed my warning! This war is Real. If you feel that you want to know more about this warfare I highly recommend the following books:

    Christian Warfare by Dr Martin Lloyd Jones, Defeating Dark Angels by Charles H. Kraft, The Devil’s Disciples by Jeff Godwin (a must for parents).

  2. Other Publications by the Author

  1. "My Testimony"

    Audio recording, David's testimony made at Luton, 22nd May 1972. (davidolores)

  2. "Fishing for Men"

    Video: Testimony of David Clarke. 1983. The Bierton Meeting.

  3. "The Bierton Crisis" ISBN 0-9539473-2-7

    My Secession: Bierton S. & P. Baptist Church. 1884.

    This is the first Book written by David. It speaks of his secession from Bierton Strict and Particular Baptist Church in 1984.

  4. “Mary, Mary Quite Contrary”, "Does the Lord Jesus want women ruling His Church?" ISBN 0-95394732-2-7

    David secession from W J is L 1999

  5. "Spirit of the Lord Come Down" (Music)

60’s still rock song. Special guest sax player: Holly Snooke.

  1. "Can you remember" (Music)

    First song (love song) by Dave Clarke from the 60's and his band The Resurrection. December 1999

  2. Rupert helps David's dream come true”

    A picture book story, written for Rebekah and her mum

  3. “Trojan Warriors”, ISBN 0-9539473-1-9

  4. Before the Cock Crows”, ISBN 0.9539473-3-5. This is about our second mission to the Philippines. It outlines the objectives, successes and opposition we had from both within and without the Prison.

Publications available from Abshott Publications 11 Hayling Close Fareham

Hampshire England PO14 3AE

E-mail: and